He turned to find D.O. walking into the room. “Ah, dongsaeng-ah, what do you need?”
“Our sunbaes aren’t here yet.” D.O.’s foot tapped back at the door, nudging it; it swung halfway shut. Why - - oh - - tension hit Suho, freezing him in place. “I thought that you might want something while it’s still just us.” D.O. smiled at him. “This is your time off, too, hyung. It’s okay to enjoy it.”
Enjoy it. “I’m fine.” D.O. wanted to - - but he couldn’t, not here, not now. Not with Teen Top on the way, about to arrive, showing up any minute. He wanted to back up, but he wouldn’t let himself show that kind of weakness. “This is your time, your turn to have fun and make friends. Don’t worry about me.” He didn’t want them to worry about him. He didn’t want them to think about him or pay attention to him. He wasn’t a part of this; he couldn’t be.
It wasn’t that the thought of joining in the fun, of indulging with the rest of the members, of - - to put it bluntly, having sex with Teen Top - - didn’t interest him. It interested him too much. He had to struggle with his sexual urges every day around the members, and now a team of sexy, virile, good-looking, experienced guys was about to descend on the house in search of a good time. It wasn’t easy to keep himself apart, to stay separate, to make arrangements for everyone else to eat a ten-course gourmet meal while he went hungry. It was everything but easy.
But he was EXO’s guardian. He had a reputation to uphold in everyone’s eyes. He had a role to fulfill, and that role was to protect his members before everything else. He wanted his members to be happy, and part of why he went to such lengths to see them sexually fulfilled was that he didn’t want them to struggle the way he did.
He knew his own sexual weaknesses, knew how deep and how strong his desires ran. That was why he said no so often, policed himself so strictly, fought with himself over every yes, every time he gave in, every time he was too weak to hold back. But he couldn’t be weak tonight. He couldn’t face temptation tonight. He couldn’t allow the idea of sex to enter his mind. Not with Teen Top, not with D.O., not with anyone.
“You don’t want anything?” D.O. asked. “Let’s sit down and just talk for a while. We’ve been so busy lately, let’s just talk.”
D.O. was taking his hand and trying to lead him toward a chair. He twisted his fingers, trying to pull his hand away; his feet were rooted to the ground, immobile. “It’s okay. Teen Top will be here soon. You should go. Get ready.”
“What is there to get ready?” D.O. asked, laughing. “They won’t be here that soon, hyung. There’s a lot of time.”
Time. Time. “Take it slow, babe.” Kris’s cock felt huge inside him, filling him up, taking him over. “We’ve got all of the time in the world.”
Oh, god. As sexual heat rose within him, Suho felt his face freeze into a smile he didn’t mean. “I have to make a call. You should go and relax with the other members.”
“I can’t relax with you?” D.O. asked.
Relax. “Relax, that’s it, I’m almost, unh, all the way in,” Kai murmured, stroking his back, kissing his ear. “That’s it, hyung, almost there.”
He wanted it. He wanted it in ways he couldn’t deny to himself, couldn’t hide from anyone else. “I have to make a call,” he repeated. Suddenly in motion, in desperate, urgent motion, trying to seem calm, struggling to seem normal, he grabbed his bag, heading left and then swinging right to get past D.O., aiming for the door. “Have to check our schedule, talk to the manager, check in with the M members.”
“Hyung, it’s not - - hyung, stop for a second,” D.O. said.
Zipping through the doorway, Suho kept walking until he was in a room, alone, behind a locked door, where no one could see him, where no one would know the way he burned with need.
But he hadn’t seen Suho. At all.
He’d seen D.O. doing the same thing he was doing, lurking around, watching, interested. Sometimes there was a serious tent in D.O.’s pants, sometimes not, although it seemed to go down on its own; he hadn’t caught D.O. jacking off.
He’d jacked off plenty. Why not; it was the only action he was going to get.
He spent his time going from room to room, watching. Everyone was too busy to care enough to chase him out, anyway. But he couldn’t stop wondering about Suho.
Where was Suho? Why was he staying away?
Eventually, Changjo went to look for him. There were only a few rooms Changjo hadn’t been in yet, and he tried each one.
On the first floor, in the back, he found a locked door.
He tapped. “Hello?”
There was no answer.
Suho had to be in there. Where else could he be? He hadn’t left, had he?
Drawing circles across the door, he thought. What could he say? What would get Suho to respond? “Is anyone in there?” he asked. “I’m going to make dinner. Our members will be hungry. Do you want to eat? I’ll be in the kitchen.”
When there was no answer, he left. Humming to himself, he went to the kitchen and started to poke around.
He had half of the contents of the cabinets and fridge strewn across the counters when he heard a surprised laugh. Turning, box of cereal in hand, he found Suho standing behind him. Handsome, smiling at him, eyes sparkling with happy affection, Suho wore a light blue sweater with jeans.
“Ya, what is this?” Suho asked, chuckling. “Is this how you make dinner?”
Suho’s smile made him smile back with sudden happiness that had nothing to do with sexual pleasure and everything to do with the expanding warmth in his chest. “This isn’t a good meal?”
“This is - - what is this?” Suho asked, picking up packages and looking at them, laughing. “Crackers and ramen and chips?”
“It’s all tasty. They won’t care what they eat, will they?”
“Ah, you should take better care of your hyungs than this,” Suho said, smiling at him. “Let’s make something good for our members.”
They worked together for a while. He put everything back where he’d found it while Suho unearthed a rice cooker. He waited, stirring and pouring and chopping as instructed, proving himself an obedient dongsaeng.
While he was trying to think of what to say, Suho asked him, “You aren’t having fun with the other kids?”
His heartbeat quickened. If Suho had brought it up first, he could ask questions in return. “No,” he said. He wiped his hands on his pants. With a fond, exasperated look, Suho handed him a dishtowel, so he wiped his hands on that, instead. “I don’t have sex yet. I’m not allowed.” He made a face; not being “allowed” to have sex made him feel like a kid. “Andy hyung thinks that I’m still too young. I’m waiting for my birthday.”
“Oh? When is that?”
“November sixteenth. I’m not allowed to do anything here, but C.A.P. hyung didn’t want me to stay at the dorm by myself. It’s kind of boring.”
Concern and a flash of guilt crossed Suho’s face, and then he smiled, patting Changjo’s shoulder. “You and I can hang out. We’ll find something to do while our members play.”
Changjo feigned surprise - - but faint surprise, so it wouldn’t seem like he was making too big a deal out of it. “You won’t do it with them? Why?” He showed Suho a confused smile. “You don’t like my hyungs?”
“It’s not that,” Suho said quickly. “It’s not like that. I just don’t really… It’s private.”
And just like that, he was shut out. What could he say to that? There was no way around a door that firmly closed. “Ah,” he said, setting the dishtowel aside. “Did you want to spend your time alone? Relaxing by yourself? Maybe it’s nice not to have to look after dongsaengs for a few hours.”
“No, it’s not like that,” Suho said, rubbing his arm. “I’ll be happy to have someone to hang out with. I was getting lonely by myself. I didn’t know that our members had left you on your own. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have neglected you.”
Wow. This hoobae was too nice to be real. “It’s okay. What should we do together?” Changjo asked, smiling.
“First, let’s finish dinner,” Suho suggested with a smile. “Then we can find out if any of our members are interested in food.”
“I was going to play games or something on my phone, but I don’t have it,” Changjo said.
“You didn’t lose it,” Suho hoped.
Changjo shook his head. “C.A.P. hyung took it from me.” His smile was impish. “I got in a little bit of trouble for something.”
“You can use my phone, if you want,” Suho offered. “That would be okay, right? Or, here.” He hauled his bag onto the bed and pulled out a tablet. “You can use this.”
“Oh, is this the new one?” Changjo asked, taking it with admiring hands.
“Mmm.” He scooted up to sit beside Changjo against the headboard. “Do you want to play a game? Or we could watch a movie.”
“Let’s watch a movie.” Changjo laughed. “What do I push?”
Leaning against him, Suho tapped at the screen. “What do you want to watch?”
They settled agreeably on a movie. Changjo relaxed against the headboard and Suho rested against his shoulder.
It was really nice. A lot nicer than when Suho had been sitting in there feeling tense and stupid and embarrassed and alone. He’d felt awkward and confused, had felt like he was doing the right thing, had wondered what the hell he was doing at all, had argued with himself, had texted Kris and of course not gotten any replies because Kris was busy in China. But now he had a nice movie and a cute dongsaeng and a comfortable shoulder to rest on, and he didn’t even know what he’d been so upset about.
Setting the tablet aside, he shifted slowly, carefully, just enough to get a good look. Suho was a comfortable weight against his side, head resting on his shoulder. In sleep, Suho’s face was relaxed. So calm. So still. This was such a pretty, pretty hyung.
Slowly raising his hand, Changjo ran his fingertip lightly down the line of Suho’s nose. He stroked Suho’s pale cheek and brushed his fingers over Suho’s soft lips. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss Suho’s mouth.
As his thumb glided along the curve of Suho’s lower lip, Suho stirred. One hand came up, batting at the air as if to push him away. Smiling, he caressed Suho’s cheekbone, and Suho muttered, “Ya, kids.” It sounded so much like his hyungs, like his members, that he smiled more broadly, touching Suho’s mouth again.
Dark eyes fluttered open, and Suho stared at him for a moment in silent incomprehension. He saw recognition kick in, and then Suho inhaled, blinking, sitting up a little, looking around the room.
For a heartbeat, Changjo wondered if Suho might get up, but after that look - - like he needed that quick check to orient himself, to establish that everything was as it should be - - he relaxed with a sleepy, “Ya,” and leaned back again. Not against Changjo this time, but against the pillows. He glanced at his phone, then dropped it and smiled at Changjo. He was so handsome, and his smile was so fond, that Changjo smiled back. He’d set aside the phone; Changjo had all of his attention now. “The movie?”
“It’s over.” Changjo shifted down a little and rolled toward him, facing him, eye-to-eye. “You fell asleep,” Changjo accused teasingly, poking his abdomen.
“I didn’t,” Suho protested innocently. “I saw the whole thing.”
“The whole thing?” Changjo asked, laughing. He left his hand right where it was, between them, his knuckles resting lightly against Suho’s stomach. “How did it end?”
“With explosions,” Suho said. Laughing, Changjo shook his head. “I mean, when they murdered the chairman.” Changjo shook his head. “They rescued the dongsaeng.” Changjo shook his head again, enjoying this. “They got on a plane? They threw a party? They blew up the headquarters? What?” Suho asked, laughing.
“Why should I tell?” Changjo asked. “You saw the whole thing, right?”
“Right,” Suho said, chuckling. The merriment in his eyes made Changjo want to kiss him. “Saw all of it.” He shifted, backing away just enough to break physical contact, resting his head on his hand. “What shall we do, watch another movie?”
Changjo grinned. “I think that you want to go to sleep.”
“Ah, it’s true.” Suho groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Your hyung is old and tired.”
“You can sleep here while I watch another movie,” Changjo suggested. “It’s okay. I’ll probably fall asleep, too.”
Suho smiled fondly at him. “Hyung’s not too boring for you?”
He couldn’t admit that he’d rather be out in the rest of the house, watching the pornographic circus his members were enjoying. He smiled at Suho. “Hyung’s not boring.”
Suho laughed. “You look so cute when you lie.”
He laughed at that and sat up again, leaning against the headboard, picking up the tablet. Suho sat up with him and leaned close to watch, but didn’t make physical contact this time. Coincidence? Or had one casual touch warned Suho off of him? Did it make sense for someone who’d orchestrated this sex sleepover to be so shy? “I hope that our members are having fun,” Changjo said, scrolling through a list of movies.
Suho blushed slightly but nodded and said, “Mmm.”
This didn’t make any sense. “You don’t want to join them?”
Suho’s cheeks were bright red. “No.”
Was Changjo supposed to believe that? “I don’t understand you.”
“What’s to understand?” Suho asked, pushing at his arm. “Watch the movie.”
Changjo studied him, speculating. “Are you secretly engaged? Is it a religious thing? Are you preparing yourself for a virgin sacrifice?”
“Yes, I’m going to be a virgin sacrifice,” Suho said. “Watch your movie.”
Wait a second. “Are you a virgin?”
Suho laughed, blushing. “Ya! Why so many questions! What’s private is private.”
He was a virgin. He was older than C.A.P.! How could he be a virgin?
“What are you staring at?” Suho asked, pushing Changjo’s face away. “Such a nosy dongsaeng. No, I’m not a virgin.”
“Are you sure?” Changjo asked. “You blush like one.”
“Ya!” Suho slapped his shoulder and grabbed the back of his neck, pushing his head down. “Is this how you speak to your hyungs? Is this how you talk?”
“Sorry, sorry,” he said, laughing, cringing. “I’m sorry, hyung.”
“Didn’t your leader teach you any manners?” Suho asked, the hand on the back of his neck pulling him closer. “Respect your hyungs’ privacy. You don’t need to know what you don’t need to know. Understand?”
Suho pulled Changjo’s head to his shoulder, and then his touch lightened, his voice softening. “You’re a good dongsaeng,” he said, stroking the side of Changjo’s neck in a way that made ripples of pleasure radiate across Changjo’s skin. “You’re a good maknae to your members. But you have a lot of energy and you’re too mischievous. It’s important to respect people’s privacy, Changjo-goon. Hyung wants you to grow up and be an honest man.”
His back relaxing, he melted against Suho’s side. “I understand.”
“It’s been hard on you,” Suho murmured, petting him soothingly. “You debuted so young and you’ve worked so hard. It’s hard to be a kid in an industry that’s meant for adults. I’m sorry that it’s been rough on you.”
He had no idea where this was coming from, but it made him want to curl up and put his head in Suho’s lap. So he did.
Suho made a reassuring sound and stroked the side of his face. “Our special Changjo. Our beautiful Changjo. It’s okay. Your hyungs will take care of you.”
Wrapping his arms around Suho’s thigh, he closed his eyes.
“So cute,” Suho said, caressing his hair.
While the movie played, Changjo thought about what he’d learned.
That Suho guarded his privacy seriously and expected that to be respected.
That Suho was probably not a virgin.
That Suho could melt him into a puddle in seconds.
That he wanted to soak up all of the affection and understanding that Suho had to offer. The “kid in an adult world” thing had been true for so long, and for so many of the people around him, that it was just a basic fact, a reality of his life. He didn’t get a huge outpouring of sympathy for it from his own members, and didn’t expect to, because they dealt with the same thing. But it was nice to have someone acknowledge him. Nice to have a little empathy, a little sympathy, a little caring and comfort.
Suddenly, the movie’s volume rose in a noisy gunfight. Changjo hurried to turn it down, but Suho was already moving, making a drowsy “eummm” sound. Shit.
Looking half-asleep, still, Suho checked his phone and rubbed at his face. Wanting him to settle in again, Changjo stayed quiet, not wanting to wake him up any further, hoping that he’d resume his old position. Instead, Suho slid down, curled up on his side, and went back to sleep. Damn it. They weren’t touching anymore, and that irritated Changjo.
Letting the movie continue, he slid farther down the bed, carefully and silently, and peeked into Suho’s bag. He found a change of clothes, vitamins, facial cleanser, a game, a novel, and a book on leadership and management. Nothing interesting, not even condoms.
While he contemplated whether it was worth the risk to try to go through Suho’s phone, his gaze traveled over Suho, wondering what was under those casually wholesome clothes. Drawn in, he crawled closer. Leaning over Suho, he smiled in admiration. So good-looking. He wanted to touch Suho’s handsome face and slide his hands under Suho’s clothes and make Suho moan. He wondered what it would sound like.
Someone knew. Suho refused to have sex with Changjo’s hyungs but wasn’t a virgin, so who did he have sex with? Did he have a boyfriend? Was he engaged to a secret woman? Was he having some kinky affair with someone in management? Maybe Sehun wasn’t the only one in EXO who had an interesting sex life.
Wicked fantasies swirled through Changjo’s thoughts as his imagination conjured up all sorts of kinky things that Suho might be into. Turned on, he watched Suho sleep, wondering what Suho’s secret lover was into. Wondering how much even the EXO members knew, if Suho’s privacy was that sacred.
Ah, the EXO members. Changjo’s gaze flicked to the door. Back to Suho. Back to the door.
Suho was sleeping soundly. Soundly enough that he might not even notice if Changjo stepped out for a minute. If Changjo left the room, he’d probably sleep right through it. And if he did wake up, well, maybe Changjo had just slipped out to go to the bathroom or get a snack, right?
Carefully, Changjo eased his weight off of the bed. Gingerly, smiling to himself, keeping a close eye on Suho, he crept toward the door. What a good sleeper this hyung was. “Hyung,” he mouthed. “I have to go watch my hyungs bone your members. No, it’s okay,” he silently reassured Suho’s sleeping form with a placating gesture. “You stay here and get some rest. Don’t bother to come and look for me, I’ll be back later.” Grinning to himself, he opened the door and backed out of the room.
With great caution, he closed the door. Ah! Success!
Now. Smiling, Changjo looked around with interest, listening intently. Already, he could hear enthusiastic moaning. Rubbing his hands together gleefully, he hurried in that direction.
He’d known that he risked being scolded when he’d snuck out, but it had been worth it. Really, definitely worth it. Still, he didn’t relish being scolded. Suho seemed to have a lot of integrity for someone who arranged sex play dates so often, and he wanted Suho to think well of him.
Silently wishing for Suho to be asleep, please, please, he hoped that Suho was still asleep, he turned the doorknob. Clenching his teeth, wincing, wishing for the best, he eased the door open.
He didn’t hear anything. Was Suho safely, miraculously asleep? Or awake and glaring at him and about to drop the hammer? Tense, bracing himself, Changjo peeked into the room.
Suho’s slumbering body rested on the bed right where he’d left him. Still asleep, Suho hadn’t even moved.
Exhaling on a relieved smile, Changjo took a moment to enjoy having gotten away with it. Then, moving more naturally, he came into the room and closed the door again. Pleased with himself and feeling very fond of this innocent hyung, he sat on the bed.
Face relaxed, pouting a little, Suho slept, unmoving, trusting that the world continued on just as he’d left it.
Relaxing onto his side, Changjo yawned. “Hyung,” he said, plucking at Suho’s sweater. “Suho hyung.”
Sleepily, Suho gazed at him. “Dongsaeng-ah, what’s wrong? What do you need?”
He couldn’t ever remember someone waking up with so much patient concern before. Maybe the difference was that his own members knew that he didn’t really want anything important and that he was basically bothering them for no reason, and Suho didn’t know him well enough to realize that yet. “I hate sleeping in new places,” he lied. Then he put on his hopeful maknae face. “Can I sleep with you?”
“It’s okay,” Suho said sleepily, and tugged him right in, pulling him to Suho’s chest, Suho’s chin on top of his head, an arm snug around him. “Hyung’s here.” Within seconds, Suho was back asleep.
Fascinated and strangely aroused, Changjo snuggled in cozily against him, enjoying his lean, strong body, the luxurious softness of his sweater, his clean scent. This was great. Had he sleepily mistaken Changjo for one of his own members? Or did he have a habit of extending his protecting, giving, nurturing qualities to other people? Did he often adopt stray idols? Could it be possible that all it took to get affection from Suho was to ask for it?
The last thing Changjo needed, really, was another hyung telling him what to do. Especially one with so many ideals and rules as Suho. But he liked Suho, and he liked the way Suho smiled at him, and he wanted to get to know Suho better.
He wouldn’t respond so readily to Changjo if he weren’t used to his members trying to crawl into his bed in the middle of the night. Someone on his team - - several of them - - had put themselves exactly where Changjo was right now. Changjo wondered if, once in Suho’s bed, they’d tried to accomplish more than just sleep, and how Suho had reacted.
With visions of Suho and Sehun floating in his mind, Changjo drifted off to sleep.
Squinting in the sunlight, C.A.P. smiled at him. “Thanks for showing us a good time.”
“It seems like the kids enjoyed themselves,” Suho admitted, blushing.
C.A.P. snorted and grinned, glancing at the vans. “Yeah.”
As they walked towards the vans, Teen Top’s front passenger window slid down. Changjo leaned out, crossing his arms over the door. “Suho hyung.”
Walking over to him, Suho smiled at his happy face. “Yes, dongsaeng-ah?”
“Can we do this again sometime? Meet up here?”
Suho chuckled. “You want to come back after your birthday, so that you can play with the other kids?”
Still smiling, Changjo sucked in his cheeks and shook his head. “I just want to see you, hyung.”
That was really sweet of him. A complete and total lie, but very sweet. “I think we can do that,” Suho said. “I’ll talk to your hyung.”
Changjo smiled as the van started. “Good-bye, Suho hyung.”
“Good-bye, Changjo-goon. Tell your members that they’re lucky to have such a good maknae.”
Changjo waved to him as the van rolled away.
Running his hand through his hair, mentally switching gears from free time to work mode, Suho went to his own van. Getting in, he laughed. All of his members were fast asleep.
Luhan stormed past all of them.
“Shit, Luhan!” Xiumin ran past them in Luhan’s wake, looking frustrated.
“And that’s, uh.” Kris blinked and frowned. “Yeah, just ignore them.”
“Okay,” Chunji said doubtfully, and laughed. “So, we followed Chanyeol hyung’s advice and put lube in all of the rooms.”
“You want to start with a drink?” C.A.P. asked.
“Yeah,” Tao said.
“Ah,” Kris said, touching his arm. “Not too much.”
C.A.P. headed for the kitchen, Tao and Chen following. L.Joe peeled himself away from Changjo and padded after them. Chunji smiled at Lay, who smiled back.
“I’ve been practicing my Mandarin,” Chunji said, drifting toward Lay. “Do I have it right?” He said something Changjo couldn’t begin to understand.
Lay’s eyes widened and he laughed like he was surprised. “Ah, that’s.” He laughed like he was embarrassed, and put his hand on Chunji’s waist. “Really?”
Chunji grinned and nodded.
Kris gave Chunji a very interested look, like he knew exactly what he wanted to do to Chunji and exactly how good it was going to feel.
Okay, now things were getting interesting. Changjo watched Chunji take Lay’s hand and pull him back toward the bedrooms. Niel and Ricky were drifting away. Changjo wanted to see what was going on in the kitchen, but Kris was looking at him. He tried to appear innocent, like he had no intention of spending the entire night watching Kris fuck his hyungs.
“Hey.” Swinging a bag off of his shoulder, Kris offered it to Changjo. “Suho said to give this to you and make sure that you’re okay.”
That was so considerate and so thoughtful, Changjo felt like he should have expected it. Taken aback, he accepted the bag. “Thank you.”
“All right. Suho said to tell you to let me know if you need anything.” Kris glanced toward the kitchen and looked at him again. “I’m going to be kind of busy, so try not to need anything.”
He smiled, wanting to laugh. “I understand. Thank you.”
Kris nodded at him and walked away.
Curious, Changjo opened the bag. Snacks, drinks, vitamins, graphic novels, headphones, and, ooohh. He whistled, pulling out Suho’s tablet.
Suho was so generous and so good to him, he was actually going to feel guilty about what he was about to do.
The deeper Changjo dug, the more frustrated he became. Suho’s tablet gave him nothing. No raunchy photos, no titillating shots, not even a member in his underwear. The messages were all cheerful and polite; if he ever flirted with anyone or scolded his members, that wasn’t how. His contacts were boring: his members, his family, a bunch of SM sunbaes, a bunch of industry people. Changjo went so far as to look up phone numbers to make sure that he didn’t have some system of masking dirty numbers under innocuous names, but, no, everything matched up. His apps and programs were completely innocent, just typical stuff to watch movies (no porn) and listen to music (lots of girl groups) and play games (boring puzzle games with really good scores) and keep track of appointments. Changjo studied his calendar at length, to try to figure out if he had anything interesting going on there, but all of the appointments looked like work. The fact that L.Joe’s upcoming meeting with Sehun was actually on there, listed under simply “L.Joe sunbae” with the time, told him that either Suho wasn’t very secretive or was doing some “hide in plain sight” thing. Also that Suho still called L.Joe sunbae, calendar-wise if not to his face. If Suho listed his members’ sex lives the same way he listed work appointments, how was Changjo supposed to figure out anything?
His browser history was completely boring. It was all EXO and shopping, like he spent his free time making sure that EXO had good search results and then went to admire expensive watches. He had really expensive taste overall, actually.
Changjo set the tablet down. Even the wallpaper was just a professional shot of EXO. What did the tablet tell him about Suho?
He worked a lot. He was very focused on EXO. He knew a lot of people at SM. He was pretty good at puzzles. Curious, Changjo double-checked; his name in the game was KimGuardian91. For a moment, Changjo wondered why he hadn’t just used EXOSuho or something more basic, but fans had probably already taken those names; Changjo had run into the same problem. Okay, so EXO was his life; it was what he cared about. But it couldn’t be all that he cared about.
There weren’t any interesting pictures or videos of guys on his phone, but there weren’t any of women, either. He didn’t flirt with the f(x) members any more than he did with the Shinee members. He didn’t even seem to have a personal life. Were his personal interests entirely puzzles and shopping? Was that all there was to him?
There was nothing here. There was no real person who owned this tablet. Just a job.
Was that sad? Was that creepy? Changjo decided that it was interesting. Every time he tried to get to know Suho, he only got so far before he hit a wall. Those walls were protecting something. Changjo wanted to find out what it was.
The two of them just looked at each other for a moment. Changjo was really handsome and looked like trouble. Tao immediately wanted to know him better. “Hey.” Tao let his legs fall open. “Are you allowed to be up here while your hyungs are fucking?”
Changjo smiled and shook his head. “No.”
“Why can’t we have sex with you?” Suho had asked them to leave Changjo alone, but he hadn’t really been listening. He’d had more interesting things to think about, like the people he could fuck.
Changjo’s gaze dipped to Tao’s crotch, and his lips curved in a secretive little smile. “I’m too young.”
What? “I thought that you were his age,” Tao said, gesturing at Ricky.
Changjo’s gaze drifted upward and he nodded. “We’re in the ’95 line together.”
’95? That was only a year younger than Kai and Sehun. Shit, that was only two years younger than Tao. “Do you think you’re too young?”
Changjo shook his head.
“Do you want to have sex with me? Make out? Something?”
Great. “C’mere,” Tao invited, gesturing him in.
Changjo’s smile broadened and his eyes widened like he’d just been handed a gift he’d expected to go to someone else. “Really?”
“Sure, why not?”
Changjo took a step back and motioned for Tao to follow him. “Ssshh, don’t wake him up.”
Quickly, carefully, Tao rolled from the bed. Changjo moved along the hallway fast, dancer-light, and they slipped into a darkened room. Tao turned on the lights and Changjo closed the door and before Tao could say anything, Changjo was kissing him, pushing him up against the wall and crowding against him. It was a deep kiss, fast, just aggressive enough to wake his body up, to make him want to kiss back harder and take control, to make him want to moan and enjoy it. Changjo’s body felt great against his, strong and hard.
This guy sure didn’t kiss like someone without experience, and the way his hands stroked over Tao’s body, rubbing just right, teasing here and squeezing there and then gliding with a lighter touch, felt so good, Tao didn’t believe for one second that he was a virgin. He knew exactly what he was doing. Fuck, this was great.
When Tao ran his hands under Changjo’s shirt, Changjo made an impatient noise and took a step back. Whipping the shirt off, Changjo was right back on him, kissing him, and shit, this guy had a terrific body. It looked exactly as great as it felt, felt exactly as great as it looked. The way Changjo was kissing him had him hot like fire, and when his tongue flicked fast, Changjo made a gruff, sexy moaning sound that made him do it again.
All of a sudden, Changjo’s hand covered his mouth. Startled, he wondered if Changjo was into some kinky suffocation shit, but then he realized that Changjo was standing very still and watching the door. His hands resting on Changjo’s waist, he waited, wondering what they were listening for.
“I’m just checking,” C.A.P.’s deep voice said, and then someone knocked at the door.
“I thought he was downstairs,” Ricky’s voice said.
“No, and it’s been too long since I’ve seen him lurking around. Who’s in there?” C.A.P. asked.
“Shit,” Changjo mouthed. He glanced around the room, muttered, “Shit,” under his breath, and looked at Tao. “Can you be quiet?”
Tao nodded. He was starting to feel uneasy about this. Yeah, Changjo was old enough to make decisions, but-
C.A.P. pounded on the door. “Who’s in there?”
-that, that was making Tao feel weird. C.A.P. was pushing his “you’re in trouble with your leader” buttons, and he was starting to see Suho’s disappointed face and hear Kris’ angry voice, and he was starting to remember how genuine and emphatic Suho’s “don’t mess with Changjo” lecture had been, and-
Changjo went down on his knees.
“Whoa! Wait, wait,” Tao said, covering his cock with his hands, scrambling and scurrying away. “Wait, maybe-”
“Who’s in there?” Ricky demanded.
“Nobody,” Tao said. “I mean, me.”
“Shit,” Changjo whispered, and he shot Tao a seriously scary, deadly look.
Tao was starting to wish that he were on the other side of this door. Being locked alone with Changjo was way too intense.
“Is Changjo in there with you?” C.A.P. asked in a “you’d better give me the right answer, asshole” voice.
“Choi Changjo, you get out here right now!” Ricky shouted.
“I’m sorry,” Tao whispered. He didn’t even understand this. What were they so adamant about? Changjo was clearly not a virgin, so what was going on? Were they into some kinky thing where only they got to have him, like he was their team mascot, their team toy or something? And they got off on not letting anyone else have him, keeping him all to themselves? Hunh, that was kind of hot.
Turning away, Changjo got up. He fixed his clothes and smoothed his hair, and then he opened the door. “What’s wrong?” His voice sounded way too normal.
“You - - you! What did you do?” Ricky demanded. He stared at them both, and then he launched himself at Changjo, kicking once and punching twice. “What did you do?!”
“Nothing!” Changjo insisted, twisting away. “He kissed me, nothing happened, it was just a kiss.”
“He’s naked behind a locked door and you just kissed,” C.A.P. said. “God damn it, maknae-”
“Nothing happened!” Changjo protested, holding his hands up in innocence. “I was going to fuck him but all of a sudden you showed up banging on doors. I didn’t even have time for oral.”
“I’m going to bang on your fucking head,” C.A.P. said, grabbing the back of his neck. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Oral?!” Ricky demanded, kicking him. “Fuck him?! When did you have a birthday, in the last five minutes?!”
“But you’re the same age, aren’t you?” Tao asked. He didn’t want to get into the middle of their weird little sexual drama, but it didn’t make any sense to him. “Why can you do it if he can’t?”
“I had to wait for my birthday!” Ricky shouted. “I had to wait every single day. They were all over me, teasing me, saying things, touching me, flirting with me. The things they did to me in the shower! And then they started having sex on my bed, on purpose, started - - oh my god, the things they did! Those sick, cruel hyungs made my life hell, and I never got any oral, I never got to fuck anybody! If I had to wait, he has to wait!”
“Gotta wait until the birthday,” C.A.P. said. “I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.” He shook Changjo by the back of the neck, looking him over. “What’d you do, really?”
“I just kissed him,” Changjo muttered, looking sullen. “We didn’t do anything.”
“What’s going on?” Chunji asked, poking his head in. “Why are we yelling?”
“Changjo had sex with Tao,” Ricky said, punching him again.
“No,” Tao said. “Really, we just kissed.”
“Really,” Chunji said like he didn’t believe it. “Did you check him?” he asked C.A.P.
“No!” Changjo exclaimed, turning red. “Don’t do that, you don’t have to do that.”
“If I took your word for everything, I’d be in jail by now,” Chunji said. “Hold him still.”
“I’ll hold him,” Ricky volunteered.
Tao watched in fascination as C.A.P. kept a hold on Changjo’s neck and Ricky held his arms back. Changjo struggled, trying to step on Ricky’s feet and shrug Ricky off. Chunji grabbed his jaw in one hand and stared into his mouth, smelled his breath, and then licked his lips. Shit, Chunji was tasting him. Changjo was red-faced, embarrassed, trying to turn away, trying to avoid it.
“Hmm.” Chunji stepped back, licking his own lips, gaze flicking over Changjo. “Pants down.”
“I didn’t do anything!” Changjo shouted.
“We really didn’t do anything,” Tao said, because he had no idea where this was going.
“Didn’t do anything?” C.A.P. asked. “Like the time you didn’t sneak out and the time you didn’t lie to Andy hyung about the van and the time you didn’t take the credit card and the time you didn’t-”
“Nothing happened! I swear, nothing happened. We just kissed.”
“He’s telling the truth,” Tao said. “Honestly, hyung, nothing happened.”
“Should we check Tao hyung, too?” Ricky suggested.
C.A.P. kicked him. “Don’t be weird.”
“He’s been screwing all day, we wouldn’t be able to tell,” Chunji said. He shoved his finger in Changjo’s bare chest. “Whatever happened, you just got away with it. But that’s it. I will handcuff you in the dorm and leave you there until your birthday if I have to. What did I say to you before? I’ve waited for you so long, I’ll be damned if I let some hoobae get to you first.”
“What should we do, lock him in here?” Ricky asked.
“We don’t have keys,” C.A.P. said. “And I’m not baby-sitting him.”
“Ricky can baby-sit him,” Chunji said.
“No! No, come on,” Ricky objected. “I’m not sitting in here alone with him, missing the rest of MT!”
“No babysitter. I’ll just remind everyone to stay off of him,” C.A.P. said. He leaned in so close, his forehead was against Changjo’s temple. “You stay the hell away from these hoobaes. No kissing, no touching, no screwing around. You piss me off one more time and it’s no phone, no sex, nothing, until your birthday next goddamned year. Understand?”
Sullenly, silently, Changjo nodded.
C.A.P. growled right in his face. “Understand?”
“Yes,” Changjo said, wincing. “Yes, hyung. I understand.”
“Please don’t mess up again,” Ricky whispered, letting Changjo’s arms go, rubbing his biceps. “I can’t wait another whole year to fuck you, I really can’t.”
While C.A.P. let Changjo go, Chunji glanced at Tao. “You really didn’t do anything?”
Tao shook his head. “Nothing, I promise.”
Chunji kind of smirked. “Why not?”
“He wouldn’t let me,” Changjo muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “C.A.P. hyung scared him.”
“Aw, I thought you were tougher than that,” Chunji said, nudging Tao’s arm.
“I’m tough,” he protested.
“Man, you almost got away with it,” Ricky told Changjo. “What were you going to do if no one stopped you?”
“Fuck him,” Changjo said. “I was going to get head first, and then I was going to fuck him. When C.A.P. hyung knocked, I was going to suck his cock, at least, just to do something, but he got scared.”
“I wasn’t scared!” Tao said. “It’s awkward with people pounding on the door.”
“Oh, you wouldn’t have made it, anyway,” Ricky said. “Tao hyung sucks cock too well, you would’ve come before you could fuck him.”
“I can just get it up again,” Changjo said.
“Teenagers,” C.A.P. said, shaking his head.
“Who’s talking?” Chunji asked, laughing.
“Hey.” Kris leaned in the doorway. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” Changjo said.
“No,” Tao said. “These sunbaes are weird, and don’t touch the maknae.”
Kris looked at him. “You tried to screw him, didn’t you?”
“No!” Kris kept looking at him; Chunji was laughing. “A little. Maybe!”
“Suho’s going to kill you,” Kris said. “Good luck.”
“Ah, our dongsaeng,” Suho said cheerfully. “Are you very bored?”
Grinning to himself, he hurried down the hallway, away from L.Joe’s enthusiastic moaning. “It’s okay.”
“Are my members taking care of you? Have you eaten?”
“I ate the snacks you sent me. Thank you, hyung.”
“Mmm. I know that it’s hard on you. Are you staying out of your hyungs’ way?”
“It’s boring all by myself,” he said. “I wish that you were here.” Just to see how Suho would react, he added, “Tao hyung asked me to do something with him, but I said no. I wanted to, but I know that I’m not allowed.”
“Tao?” Suho’s voice was still bright but very tense all of a sudden. “Did he?”
“It’s okay, I won’t bother them.”
“Changjo-goon.” Suho’s voice was softer now, so kind, so giving. Changjo leaned back, melting against the wall a little, enjoying it. “Hyung is very proud of you. It’s good that you follow the rules, even the ones you don’t like.”
“Yes, hyung,” Changjo murmured. “I wish that you were here,” he said again. “It’s not as fun without you.” In some ways, it was way, way, way more fun, because he got to watch so much amazing sex. But the sex was happening without him, and no one would pay attention to him, and he felt kind of lonely. Lay could watch and then get invited in; when he watched, his members kept noticing him and telling him to leave. He kind of wished that Suho were there to smile at him and fall asleep on his shoulder. Even - - and this was a really weird thought - - even if it meant seeing less sex.
“Ah, dongsaeng-ah. Should hyung take you to lunch someday?”
Really? “Just the two of us?”
“Everywhere I go, eleven other people follow,” Suho said, laughing. “Sometimes it’s hard to get rid of all of them. But I’ll try.”
“I’d like that,” Changjo said.
“Ya, wait,” Suho said to someone else. Then, “I’ll call you, yes? Stay out of trouble.”
“Enjoy your night. Ya, members! Why-” Suho hung up.
Changjo ran his thumbs over his phone’s screen. Suho had called him. Suho was busy and had eleven - - at least five, tonight - - other people to look after. But Suho had taken the time to call him. To think of him and to connect with him. He’d just seen Suho’s schedule; he knew how much Suho had to deal with on any given day. But Suho had stopped to put together a bag for him. Cared enough to do something like that.
Suho constructed his whole life, his whole identity, around being EXO’s leader and guardian. Around taking care of his members, looking after them, protecting them, making sure that they had whatever they needed, from vitamins to sexual submissives. And now Suho was extending some of that to Changjo, too.
It felt good, really good, to be on the receiving end of Suho’s protective affection. The more of it he got, the more he wanted.
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March 4, 2014
by Matthew Haldeman-Time