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From: Greetings
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Author Topic: From: Greetings  (Read 710 times)
LDoza
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« on: March 01, 2009, 03:30:10 AM »

Enough Diamond, enough.   .......          Do you have no sense of humor at all?!!!!!

You are forcing funloving people away from this board, hopefully you will not also kill our joy in ITL,
although I would not guarantee it.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2009, 03:38:39 AM by LDoza » Logged

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Rhia
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« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2009, 06:33:59 AM »

Enough Diamond, enough.   .......          Do you have no sense of humor at all?!!!!!

You are forcing funloving people away from this board, hopefully you will not also kill our joy in ITL,
although I would not guarantee it.

From what I've seen, Diamond was simply pointing you towards the information you were looking for -- I don't think it had anything to do having or not having a sense of humor.  Smiley

I would also like to say that I am an exceptionally fun-loving gal, and Diamond is yet to do anything that scares me away from the board, or kills my joy in ITL. To the contrary, the limited experience I've had debating and discussing with her has done nothing but enrich my experience of both the story and the fan community.

Your comment strikes me as being a little unkind -- this isn't really my business, but yelling at someone is a bit excessive.
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Why ITL fans should not speak on the phone:

Jae: I love Xio Voe. I want to nom him. Nom nom nom.
Rhia: Don't chew on the Heir to the Jacacean Empire, dear.
Jae: But I want to! Why must you kill my dreams?
JaeFire
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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2009, 08:13:12 AM »

Enough Diamond, enough.   .......          Do you have no sense of humor at all?!!!!!

I have no idea where you're getting this.  She was being helpful to you.  If you're angry about your post about bisexuality--a post which I frankly found offensive and which I was glad got so intelligently addressed by Diamond here  (http://matthewhaldemantime.com/board/index.php/topic,195.msg2365.html#msg2365)--then you've put it in the wrong place.  If her post in this thread was the last straw for you, and you chose to address it so heatedly, publicly, and impolitely, then I feel no guilt whatsoever at my post to you here and now.

You are forcing funloving people away from this board, hopefully you will not also kill our joy in ITL,
although I would not guarantee it.

This is infuriatingly and offensively inaccurate, and completely, utterly uncalled for.  I do not appreciate the implication that Diamond--of all people, Diamond!--would kill anyone's joy in ITL, much less mine.  I do not appreciate being lumped in with "funloving people" who are supposedly being "forc[ed]...away from this board."  If "funloving people" are driven away by Diamond, driven away by intelligent, thought-provoking posts, then I disavow myself a fun-loving person and reinstate myself as someone who hates fun with a vitriolic passion.

This board is an open dialogue: if you cannot say something you are willing to defend, do not say it.  If you think that anything you say is okay (I'm referring to the comment you made about bisexuality that I hated), if you think that it will not be addressed by people who were offended by it, you are wrong.  I appreciated Diamond's response to you, and I was happy she addressed what you said--and, honestly, she did it so much more politely than I would have, which is why I did not reply to that post.  But what you've said to Diamond is too much, what you've implied about all of us who disagree civilly with each other--it's too much, so I reply to you now. 

If engaging in intelligent dialogue is enough to kill your joy of ITL, then it would seem that you didn't have much joy in it to begin with.  I can't even believe you would even imply that her replying to your posts constitutes not having a sense of humor, because I was not amused by them at all.  If replying to a post that you disagree with constitutes "[killing]" someone's "joy in ITL," then apparently no one should reply to anything at all, and also apparently means that every time I disagreed with someone here, I exhibited a desire to destroy someone's joy.  Thank you for that.

I think you owe Diamond an apology, but I doubt she would get one from you--one that was sincere, at any rate.

- Jae

« Last Edit: March 01, 2009, 10:44:33 AM by JaeFire » Logged

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Falconer
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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2009, 09:10:40 AM »

Enough Diamond, enough.   .......          Do you have no sense of humor at all?!!!!!

You are forcing funloving people away from this board, hopefully you will not also kill our joy in ITL,
although I would not guarantee it.

 No No

Trying to pass off insinuated insults or criticism as misinterpreted jokes or teasing,
Being disrespectful,
Taking personal grudges in public,
Deleting your post when you're not satisfied with the responses,
Yelling at someone else,
Being rude, as you were in your last post, these are all unacceptable in any online community.

We are all adults here, please act accordingly. 




 

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"Chaque lecture est un acte de résistance. Une lecture bien menée sauve de tout, y compris de soi-même."
Daniel Pennac
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« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2009, 04:28:31 PM »

Quinntanna, you had a good question and other people were helped by the answers offered. Anyone should feel free to ask about anything they are unsure about.

Sometimes when people haven't used PayPal a lot, they get up in their head about how hard it might be. I didn't want LDoza's post to make them think that they had to memorize complicated steps to manage their subscription.

You sign up, you leave it alone, and a year later you can't remember how it goes. That's normal. I wanted to make sure people remember to check the FAQ for quick answers, no memorization necessary.  Wink


Thank you guys for the kind, supportive comments for this fun-hating killjoy.  Blush It's a miracle that you haven't all run away in horror before now. You guys rock  Rock Out! .

Trying to pass off insinuated insults or criticism as misinterpreted jokes or teasing,
Being disrespectful,
Taking personal grudges in public,
Deleting your post when you're not satisfied with the responses,
Yelling at someone else,
Being rude, as you were in your last post, these are all unacceptable in any online community.

We are all adults here, please act accordingly. 

I agree with Falconer, we are all adults here. Literally. There are warnings all over the site and in case it wasn't clear, ANYONE READING MATTHEW'S FICTION SHOULD BE OVER 18.

As an adult, if you see that you are being consistently "misunderstood" you should really find a way to communicate more clearly. It's not fair to blame us.

LDoza, everything Falconer said is true, and would be unacceptable in any online community. Don't try to act like we are persecuting you for asking you to clarify vague posts. Deleting your posts and then playing the victim for "unfair" replies is just dishonest. Undermining helpful tech support advice isn't a cute joke.

The only reason this message board exists is for fans of Matthew's work to have an open place to discuss it. To bounce around ideas and theories about the stories and characters. You don't have to kiss his butt, but if you can't be respectful to MHT, the person you claim to be a fan of, then why are you here?

If your apology to me would turn out anything like your "apology" to Matthew on the It's Friday!!! thread, please don't bother.

I dearly love ITL and Matthew's collective work.  My Friday nights and Saturday mornings are enriched by this gift we are blessed with each week.  Diamond's efforts and support of Matthew's efforts can't be described and I am very grateful for her adding to the experience.

To everyone who has been on the board, I have enjoyed the discussions about ITL.  I hope to add my input in the future. 

Mary

Mary, thank you very, very much. I'm glad you have enjoyed the discussions. Cheesy

But please be advised: Jaefire and I HATE fun.  Grumpy


- Diamond <-- who's so proud of the board members. Cheesy




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Matthew Haldeman-Time
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« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2009, 05:42:41 PM »

I think we can all agree that if someone says:

... Now I just have to remember what Falconer said to find that paypal thing. It has been so long. ...

An appropriate reply can include:

Smiley Like Falconer said, the information is always available, in case you forget, on the FAQ page. You can get there easily from the main ITL page.

And I think that we can agree that if someone says that, the following reply:

Enough Diamond, enough.   .......          Do you have no sense of humor at all?!!!!! You are forcing funloving people away from this board, hopefully you will not also kill our joy in ITL, although I would not guarantee it.

Is not appropriate and was clearly not warranted by the preceding comment.

If you have a personal conflict with a member of the board, even a moderator, you are welcome to contact that person privately to express your concerns.  If you'd rather not approach the person directly, you're welcome to contact one of the moderators (Diamond and LilacMajesty) or me.  If your problem is (for example) with Diamond, and you don't think that I'm an impartial party, you can contact LilacMajesty.

Personal attacks and personal accusations are not welcome here and will not be tolerated.  Accusing one board member of driving away other board members and readers is unacceptable.

This board is my board, in the sense that it's on my property and I pay for it.  (Also, that's my name up at the top there.)  But I would like to foster a community environment here.  We all read ITL, we all enjoy it (and thank you for that!) and we should all feel welcome to talk about it.  We won't always agree on the fiction, on the plot and characters, on our interpretations, and that's fine.  That's what makes conversations here fun.  We've had some intellectual skirmishes already, and I expect more to follow.

But those are literary disagreements.  Those are intellectual skirmishes.  It's not personal, and it shouldn't be.

I'm about to run off on a tangent, so let me drag it back.  This is a community.  I like what happened today, in the sense that I like the fact that the community spoke up.  If you see a personal attack or an accusation you feel is unwarranted, it's appropriate to speak up.  We're all adults, and when we cross the line or say something inappropriate, we should be told about it, so that we can correct our behavior.  If I say something rude or insulting or out of line, I want to know that I've offended someone, so that I can get my act together for next time.

LDoza e-mailed me privately, and she apologized for the scuffle.  It looks like she's also decided to delete some of her posts around the board, so there may be a glitch or jump in conversation where her comments used to be.  Just wanted to let you know, so you don't doubt your reading comprehension.

I try to keep my sites positive places, and I try to be pleasant.  (I'm polite to people who send me hate mail.)  While it's not necessary for us all to walk on tiptoes around each other and speak in the most angelic of tones, I would like for us to treat each other with common courtesy.

This might be a good time to revisit the first few posts here: http://matthewhaldemantime.com/board/index.php/topic,150.0.html

-Matthew
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blondiechic0
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« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2009, 07:46:09 PM »

Thank you guys for the kind, supportive comments for this fun-hating killjoy

I'm just surprised it took you this long to realize it, Diamond! Of course you're a fun hating kill joy! Everyone here who doesn't  agree with or really understand any thing LDoza says ( I think I maybe ever got two of her posts, if any) is a fun hating kill joy. Hell! For correcting her, more than once, I am too! We should throw a fun hating kill joy party! I'll bring the muffins!

Quote
Trying to pass off insinuated insults or criticism as misinterpreted jokes or teasing,
Being disrespectful,
Taking personal grudges in public,
Deleting your post when you're not satisfied with the responses,
Yelling at someone else,
Being rude, as you were in your last post, these are all unacceptable in any online community.

We are all adults here, please act accordingly. 

I agree with Falconer, we are all adults here. Literally. There are warnings all over the site and in case it wasn't clear, ANYONE READING MATTHEW'S FICTION SHOULD BE OVER 18.

As an adult, if you see that you are being consistently "misunderstood" you should really find a way to communicate more clearly. It's not fair to blame us.

LDoza, everything Falconer said is true, and would be unacceptable in any online community. Don't try to act like we are persecuting you for asking you to clarify vague posts. Deleting your posts and then playing the victim for "unfair" replies is just dishonest. Undermining helpful tech support advice isn't a cute joke.

The only reason this message board exists is for fans of Matthew's work to have an open place to discuss it. To bounce around ideas and theories about the stories and characters. You don't have to kiss his butt, but if you can't be respectful to MHT, the person you claim to be a fan of, then why are you here?

If your apology to me would turn out anything like your "apology" to Matthew on the It's Friday!!! thread, please don't bother.
- Diamond

I also would like to add that for a woman who has said on several occasions that she has CHILDREN who are my age or older, that was incredibly immature and and very bad example of how anyone should react to a situation, regardless of their age. I was incredibly annoyed with how disruptive and confusing most of your posts were and I did my best to fix the situation without lodging a personal attack against you. One of the things I did do was contact Diamond and MHT several times to complain and get advice on how to handle that situation. Seeing as how I am apparently somewhere close to half your age, the fact that I am mature enough and thoughtful enough NOT to attack you publicly and tried in my own way to make the job of the mods as easy as I could, your personal attack here on Diamond and your apparent private attacks against her and MHT are rude, uncalled for, and so immature, is kind of sickening. For the record, I'm not saying you are sickening, I am saying that your behavior was, and as the generation that looks to yours for guidance, I am incredibly disappointed.
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