Poor Bade
trying to explain the Brides Lament
The point of the Bride’s Lament was, of course, scandalous behavior. But the Anorians didn’t seem to get that, and Vade wasn’t comfortable with explaining it.
“What sort of party does the wife have?” Anosanim asked excitedly.
Vade wasn’t sure, exactly. He only knew from stray comments here and there. “She gets together with her friends, and they give her things for her new home. Linens, and food. Toys for her baby.”
“Women only get married when they’re already pregnant? Have they typically already had a child?” Desin asked.
“No.” Vade replied quickly, horrified at the thought of them getting the wrong idea. “No, no, it’s just traditional for people to give baby gifts to a new couple. We kind of assume that they want a baby, and will begin right away to try to have one.”
“But so soon?” Anosanim asked. “How could a new couple be ready? Don’t they need time to settle into their marriage?”
Settle in? “They’ll have nine months for that.”
Anosanim didn’t look satisfied. Desin asked, “Just baby gifts? Doesn’t the wife have sexual entertainment at her party?”
“No!” What a terrible idea! “Respectable women wouldn’t tolerate such a thing.”
“Respectable women don’t have sex?” Anosanim asked. “Or don’t like to look at it?”
“Neither.” Vade’s reply was firm. How could that be a contested point?
“But there are women at the Bride’s Lament,” Desin said.
Well, yes. “Not respectable ones. They’re only there as the sexual entertainment.”
“But respectable men have sex?” Anosanim asked.
What a question. “All men have sex.”
“If men have sex but women don’t, then the men have sex with each other?” Anosanim seemed to be trying to work through it.
Desin’s eyes were narrowing. “Or with the disreputable women.” He looked like he didn’t think any of this was a good idea.
Anosanim sounded baffled. “But why is it disreputable when women do it, if it’s fine for men?”
“Women are better than that.” Vade couldn’t believe how confused Anosanim and Desin were, over such basic knowledge. “They’re above such base urges.”
Desin snorted, grinning. “Not the women I know, and Ilanosa bless them for it.”
“Anikira often pursues Kudorin, and initiates their encounters.” Anosanim was still puzzling it out. “She’d be considered disreputable?”
“Or masculine, I suppose,” Desin said.
“No wonder the bride’s lamenting,” Anosanim said. “She isn’t allowed to have sex, and isn’t supposed to like it when she does.”
“Why is it called the Bride’s Lament?” Desin asked. “I assumed that it was a bad translation.”
Vade really hadn’t wanted to have this conversation. He’d known that it wouldn’t go well. “The bride is thought to be grieving and ashamed, because of the behavior of her husband, who spends the night before their wedding enjoying all of the things that will be lost to him when he marries her. It’s his last chance to enjoy the treasures of life before he’s trapped with her.”
“Treasures like food, alcohol, music, and sex?” Desin asked, his eyebrow raised.
“Why, Vade, marriage isn’t a trap,” Anosanim argued. “What gave you such a terrible notion? The day of your wedding is the day that you embark on a new relationship with your partner for life. It’s a joyous, happy occasion. It’s about love and family and commitment and the future.”
“I’m trying to picture Orinakin engaging in sex with disrespected, disreputable men, while entirely aware that Bade’s upset and ashamed and wounded by his behavior.” Desin frowned. “He wouldn’t do it. Who could? And who would marry someone who doesn’t care about his, or her, emotions? Especially if this is a widespread tradition, with other people assuming that it’s taken place. How would you face your betrothed, the day of the wedding, after acting so cruelly just the night before?”
