The Adventures of Jonathan Jackmore

[Falconer]

These 3 stories crack me up so much!! 

First one's my favorite, but they're all brilliant. And the names!

[Matthew Haldeman-Time]

   Thank you!

            “In your virginal confusion,” the earl said forcefully, hauling him up with a flex of powerful muscles, “you know not what you say.  But fear not, sweet lord.  For I will teach you all that you have ever longed to know,” his voice lowered meaningfully as he pushed Jonathan down across the bed, “of passion.”

            “That,” Jonathan said, tugging at the earl’s clothes, “sounds great.”  Slipping a hand down the front of the earl’s breeches, he hesitated.  “Oh, that’s,” um, “maybe-”

            “Your innocently awkward and fumbling touch has located the remains of my breakfast,” the earl declared, plucking a short bit of sausage from Jonathan’s hand.  “Perhaps what you seek, you will find…here,” and he shifted his hips forward, pressing Jonathan’s hand to, oh, god.

            “I thought that was your thigh.”

How could I stop after one story?  I had to see more!

-Matthew

[LilacMajesty]

I had nearly forgotten about this trilogy.  Now I have something to do!

[blondiechic0]

I kinda want more of those. I lol'd.

[Diamond]

I  Johnathan Jackmore!

Anyone who has ever been a soap opera fan has got to love "The Hung and the Sexless." 

The characters believed anything JJ told them because the craziest shenanigans were happening all around them and they didn't think anything was weird anymore. I love the idea of a person with a down to earth grounded perspective existing in world of one dimensional soap characters and taking advantage of their naivete.

He uses everything to his advantage and makes up stories about himself on the fly. But they also seem to become part of the soap opera cannon as soon as he says them, so later on he and everyone else are still going along with his ridiculous made up lies.

I cracked up the whole time. 

In a word, it's awesome. 

 - Diamond

[LilacMajesty]

I went to look for those, to read them again and I can't seem to locate them.  Am I just an idiot?

[Falconer]

I went to look for those, to read them again and I can't seem to locate them.  Am I just an idiot?

It's a bit hard to find because of where the link is placed on the short-stories page (right before A Thief and a Killer and not with the other stories). But here's the direct link: http://matthewhaldemantime.com/jonathanjackmore.html
Have fun reading! 

[LilacMajesty]

TY Falconer!!!

[anaskee]

This is freakin' hilarious!

Why do I see John Barrowman in the Jonathan Jackmore in Space?

[Matthew Haldeman-Time]

Since they're short stories, I linked to them from the short stories page.  Is there somewhere else that makes more sense to y'all?  I don't want everyone to have to search and hunt to find stuff.

-Matthew