Choreography and Teamwork
|Debut: 2010, Woollim Entertainment
Fan club: Inspirit
|Name||Real name||Birth date||Role|
|Sunggyu||Kim Sunggyu||April 28, 1989||leader, main vocal|
|Dongwoo||Jang Dongwoo||November 22, 1990||main rapper, lead dancer|
|Woohyun||Nam Woohyun||February 8, 1991||lead vocal|
|Hoya||Lee Howon||March 28, 1991||main dancer, lead rapper|
|Sungyeol||Lee Sungyeol||August 27, 1991||sub-vocal|
|L||Kim Myungsoo||March 13, 1992||visual, actor|
|Sungjong||Lee Sungjong||September 3, 1993||maknae|
As they walked away, turning down a quiet stretch of otherwise empty hallway, Hoya murmured, “Handsome.”
Dongwoo grinned. He always liked these little insights into what Hoya found appealing about other guys. “Which one?” He was sure that it was Seyong, but he wanted to see if Hoya would say it.
Hoya gave him a knowing look. “The handsome one.”
Laughing, Dongwoo threw an arm around Hoya, yanking him closer as they walked. “Ah, Hoya. Maybe you have a new ideal type?”
Hoya flashed him that look again. “Maybe.”
They never talked about why they kept separate rooms, either. They were best friends who turned to each other first and would have loved to stay up all night talking and listening to music, but when it was time for bed they separated, going into different rooms, sleeping with other members. What was there to say about it? During the day they were busy, working, practicing, distracted by people and pressure and schedules and constant activity, so Dongwoo could keep his sexual impulses pretty much under control, but at night, at the dorm, in the dark? He’d be on top of Hoya before the bedroom door closed. The fact that they kept to separate rooms was a constant, physical reminder to Dongwoo to keep his hands to himself.
When he looked back, he could never remember a day when Hoya had said, “I’m bi.” He did remember, though, the first time Hoya had given him an appreciative, flirtatious smile. It had been before debut, and they’d been practicing the same choreography all night. During a five-minute break, Hoya had started free-styling, and Dongwoo had joined in, happy to do something with his body that wasn’t the same repetitive one-two-three-four kick-kick-step-kick they’d been doing for hours. He’d started rolling his hips, doing a body wave, and then he’d done it right up against Hoya’s side, and Hoya had danced into it, leaning even closer, and he’d gotten so turned on and flustered that he’d broken away, laughing, and then Hoya had given him that look, that happy, knowing, approving, sizzling look of sexual interest, and he’d blushed, surprised, embarrassed, because he’d been trying as hard as he could not to get a crush on Hoya, and he’d been failing miserably in that already, and now all of a sudden Hoya was looking at him like sex between them was an actual possibility.
He got that smile all of the time, now. Hoya gave it to him several times a day, when he was lucky. Not just when he was showing off his moves, either, but any time, whether he was dressed and styled for the stage or shuffling around the dorm just out of bed, whether he was trying to flirt or just being foolish, whether they’d been side-by-side for the past several hours or they were reuniting after an afternoon apart. He loved it when Hoya gave him that look at first glance, like when Hoya came back to the dorm or when he showed up to the practice room after the other members were already there, and immediately upon spotting him Hoya’s expression had that appreciative, “Yeah, I like it, I want to put the magic on you, baby,” look. It was so sexy and so flattering and so rewarding that he always smiled back, and sometimes he was so happy that he laughed, and sometimes he was so turned on that he tried to give Hoya the same look in return, and it probably looked ridiculous on him but Hoya seemed to like it, giving him another flirtatious, saucy look right back, until it seemed like if they kept it going for another moment longer they’d have to go past looking and right into touching - - kissing - - fucking - - and Dongwoo had to change the subject immediately to prevent himself from pulling Hoya against his body and sliding down onto his knees.
Since Hoya had never said, “I’m bi,” but Hoya had talked about girls, Dongwoo hadn’t known whether the way Hoya looked at him was a sign of some larger pattern or just really flirtatious friendship. And then they’d been in the dorm, watching a music festival on TV, and Hoya had nudged him and said, “Don’t you think he’s handsome?”
By that point, all of the members knew that Dongwoo was gay, and he’d called other guys handsome or sexy in front of them before, but he couldn’t remember Hoya ever saying anything like that. But it had been true, the guy onscreen was good-looking, so Dongwoo had said, “Yeah, handsome.”
Hoya had nodded and leaned forward a little towards the screen, resting his elbow on his knee. “He looks so confident. I like guys like that.”
Surprised, wondering if that meant what it sounded like, Dongwoo had wished that there were someone else in the room to share the moment with, someone to shoot a disbelieving, questioning, “Did he say what I think he said?” look. But there had been no one else around, so he’d settled for being honest. “Confident guys are the sexiest.”
Hoya hadn’t said anything like, “Ugh, that’s not what I meant.” He’d just nodded and kept on watching the festival. And then a few days after that, he’d said, “Ah, handsome,” when some other guy was on TV. A couple of days later, after they met a particular sunbae in person for the first time, he turned to Dongwoo and murmured, “Isn’t he even sexier than you thought?”
That was when Dongwoo realized that he was not only Hoya’s dance partner, rap partner, and favorite hyung, but also the guy Hoya pointed out hot guys to. And he loved it. He loved that Hoya trusted him enough to confide in him, and he loved the insight into what turned Hoya on. Sometimes it was strictly superficial, like, “Ah, look at his mouth,” and sometimes it was something like, “I like his noonbeet. He’s so handsome and sincere when he sings,” or, “He dances so well, I want to look that sexy when I dance.” He was usually finished after a comment or two - - he didn’t seem interested in taking the conversation any farther - - but Dongwoo loved the little peeks into Hoya’s sexuality.
The third meeting was when Infinite and Myname were shoved into a dressing room together. The Myname members were really polite hoobaes, and after the stylist was finished with him, Dongwoo went over to talk. Curious, he asked Seyong how old he was. Upon learning that Seyong had been born in ’91, he said, “Oh, our members, too. Woohyun, Hoya, and Sungyeol are in the ’91 line.” Since Hoya was only standing a couple of feet away, he reached over and pulled Hoya closer. “Friends,” he told Hoya. “Seyong’s from the same year as you.”
“Really?” Hoya asked. “You’re so pretty, I thought you were younger.” As soon as the words were out, he looked as surprised as Dongwoo felt; eyes widening, he put his hand over his mouth.
Laughing, Seyong said, “Hoya sunbaenim!”
“No,” Hoya said hastily, laughing, waving Seyong away. “No, I didn’t-”
“You can’t take it back!” Bouncing away from Hoya’s hand and then back, he had the cute energy of a maknae. “You can’t take it back! You said it!”
“No,” Hoya said breathlessly, leaning against Dongwoo. “It’s not… It’s a bit…”
Seyong framed his face in an angel pose, batting his eyelashes, looking so adorable that Dongwoo squeezed his arm. “Hoya sunbaenim thinks I’m pretty!” He was so enthusiastically happy about it that Dongwoo cracked up with laughter, arm tightening around Hoya’s waist. “Am I pretty, Hoya sunbaenim? Really?” Then, just as Dongwoo was recovering and Hoya stopped shaking with laughter against Dongwoo’s chest, Seyong dropped his hands and stepped forward with a solemn expression, lowering his voice as if confiding in them. “Okay, but can you at least say ‘handsome’ next time? ‘Pretty’ is a bit…”
Bursting into laughter, Dongwoo stepped behind Hoya, wrapping both arms around to hug Hoya to his chest. “You don’t like ‘pretty?’” Hoya asked, leaning back as Dongwoo rested his chin on Hoya’s shoulder.
“You aren’t pretty?” Dongwoo asked, grinning, reaching out to tickle Seyong’s chin.
“Oh, sunbaenim!” Seyong exclaimed cutely, hiding behind his hands, looking flattered and shy. Then immediately dropping the act, he stepped forward with a more serious expression and said, “Handsome.” He tapped his chest, nodding, self-assured. “Handsome.”
“This kid’s too much!” Dongwoo exclaimed.
“This must be a real problem for you,” Hoya told Seyong. “You want to be called ‘handsome,’ people call you ‘pretty.’” He nodded, then turned to Dongwoo and asked, “Why isn’t this a problem for me? Why don’t I have this problem?”
Loving his partly-serious, partly-bewildered, hurt look, Dongwoo burst into laughter again.
“You don’t have this problem?” Seyong asked.
“I want this problem!” Hoya said.
“Maybe they’re too intimidated,” Seyong suggested. “They think,” he tucked his fists under his cheeks, bright-eyed and excited, “‘Oh, Hoya sunbaenim, so pretty! So good-looking!’ But then they get closer and,” he drew back, his hand to his chest, “‘Oh, Hoya sunbaenim! A man! Handsome, sexy man! Those muscles, that dramatic stare!’ And they’re intimidated. Very manly, too manly, they can’t bear it.”
“That’s it!” Dongwoo agreed, shaking Seyong’s hand. “That’s it, that’s what it is!”
“That’s not it,” Hoya said.
“That is it!” Dongwoo protested. “From back here.” He walked a couple of feet away and shielded his eyes with one hand as if squinting at Hoya from a long distance. “Wow, pretty! Very pretty, wow, look at him.” Laughing, Hoya turned away. Dongwoo circled around to get in front of him again, then drew nearer, then gasped. “Oh! Manly! So handsome! What to do, what to do?! Such a handsome man!”
Laughing, Hoya pushed at his shoulder until he lost balance. “Why are you so stupid?”
“You made me stupid,” Dongwoo accused, his hand over his heart. “You’re so handsome I can’t think when I’m near you.”
“Oh, no!” Seyong hovered near him solicitously. “You’re with him a lot. You must suffer all of the time.”
“I do!” Dongwoo agreed. “He’s made me very, very stupid. I used to be much smarter than this. I was going to be a doctor, you know.”
“Oh, you’ve suffered so much,” Seyong said sympathetically, bowing earnestly.
“You understand me so well,” Dongwoo said, putting an arm around him. “Are you stupid, too?”
“Yes,” Seyong joked, grinning. “But I was always like this. That’s why I’m a dancer. I’m too stupid for a real job.”
“Me, too!” Dongwoo exclaimed, and they hugged.
Hoya rolled his eyes. “Hyung, you’re a rapper.”
“Me, too!” Seyong exclaimed, so they hugged again.
The three of them hung out for the rest of the evening. After Myname left and Infinite was alone with a couple of managers, Dongwoo grinned at Hoya. “He’s fun.”
Hoya nodded, then smiled. “Do you think he likes you?”
“Me?” Dongwoo asked, surprised. “He likes you.”
“I like both of you,” L said from a chair.
“I don’t like either one of you,” Sungyeol said, and then he ducked out of the way as Dongwoo moved in on him.
One of the other teams was Seyong and Insoo. The four of them hung out between takes. Early on, Insoo had the idea for their teams to make an alliance, conspiring against the other teams together to make sure that whatever happened, one of them won. Dongwoo loved the idea, and they had a lot of fun cheering each other on and taking out the other teams together. Eventually, Dongwoo and Hoya made it to the finals against a team of gagmen.
The last game was one of those direct combat things where two contestants shoved at each other with hugely padded barbells and tried to knock each other down.
“You do it,” Hoya said.
“You should do it,” Dongwoo disagreed. “You’re stronger.”
Hoya gave him a puzzled look. “No, I’m not.”
“You’re more competitive,” Dongwoo said.
“No, I’m not.” Hoya nudged him towards the platform. “You’re better on-camera, it’ll be better TV.”
“You have more fans, they’ll want to see you do it.”
“Hyung!” Hoya exclaimed, laughing. “Just do it! You’ll make it funnier.”
“It’s not supposed to be funny!” Dongwoo protested, Hoya’s laughter making him laugh.
Hoya gave him a searching look. “Don’t you want more screen time?”
“I want you to have more screen time! Go!” He pushed Hoya toward the platform, then cheered, “Hoya, fighting! Ho! Ya! Ho! Ya!”
While the PD’s gave Hoya and the gagman their instructions, Dongwoo went over to stand with Seyong and Insoo. As the game started, the three of them applauded together and Seyong screamed, “Oh, Hoya oppa, you’re the best! Oppa fighting!”
Hoya landed a hard blow that knocked the gagman to his knees, and Dongwoo jumped back. “Oh!” Clapping, he shouted, “Daebak! Do it for Inspirit!” The gagman was staggering back up. Dongwoo shook his head and called, “When I say ‘Ho,’ you say ‘Ya!’ Ho!”
“Ya!” Insoo and Seyong shouted.
“Ya!” Insoo and Seyong shouted, and Hoya slammed the gagman off of the platform and into the ball pit below.
“Whoo!” While Hoya helped the gagman back up, Dongwoo held a victory dance party with Myname. As soon as Hoya stepped down, Dongwoo grabbed him in a hug, and the camera caught Hoya looking flushed, sexy, confident, and victorious, a bead of sweat emphasizing the chiseled line of his jaw, one arm around Dongwoo, his other hand coming up to flash a V. Dongwoo kept a screen cap of the moment as his phone’s background for weeks.
When the filming finally ended and they all parted ways, Dongwoo turned around to see Seyong and Hoya shaking hands. It took them a long time to let go, and when they separated, Hoya walked away with such a cocky swagger that Dongwoo blushed, laughing and turned on.
“Congratulations,” Dongwoo said, loving the confidence in Hoya’s smile. “Maybe you and Seyong should team up next time.”
“No,” Hoya said, and the way his hand ran over Dongwoo’s back felt so good it made Dongwoo’s hips roll. “I couldn’t have won without you.”
Hoya smiled, pushing his hand away. Wondering who Hoya was talking to, Dongwoo handed over a bottle of water and listened. He wasn’t saying much, but he kept smiling that little, blushing smile that he got around noonas he liked. Dongwoo couldn’t think of anyone he’d run into lately; maybe it was someone from before, finally getting her priorities straight?
Sunggyu walked back into the room. Dongwoo nudged Hoya, who quickly said good-bye and ended the call. When Sunggyu started talking to Woohyun, they both relaxed again, enjoying the temporary reprieve and chance to recuperate. “Who was that?” Dongwoo asked.
“Kim Seyong,” Hoya said.
“Myname?” Dongwoo asked, surprised. He’d never seen Hoya flirt on the phone with a guy before.
“Your name’s Jang Dongwoo,” Hoya said with a straight face.
Laughing, Dongwoo slapped Hoya’s thigh. “They must hate those jokes.” Leaving his hand right where it was, he asked, “How is Seyong?”
“Busy. They’re going to Japan.”
Dongwoo liked the idea that Hoya and Seyong were getting closer. Not that things were going to get very far, but it was still good for Hoya to get to hang out with guys he was attracted to. “When they come back, we should treat our Myname hoobaes to dinner.”
Hoya looked pleased by the idea, like he was proud of Dongwoo for thinking of it. “Yeah, let’s.” Then he smiled, picking up the cloth and wiping at Dongwoo’s forehead. “Why are you sweating like this? Your hair’s all wet.”
“I’m working hard,” Dongwoo said, shoving his hair back from his forehead. “It’s hot in here.”
“Oh, are you working hard all by yourself?” Hoya asked, grinning. “We don’t work hard, too? I’m not working hard?”
Dongwoo laughed. “No one can ever tell if you’re working hard. You make it all look so easy!”
Hoya burst into laughter, and Sunggyu called everyone to start again, and they helped each other up, back to practice again.
Then, all of a sudden, the calls changed. Hoya needed privacy. Instead of taking the calls right where he was and staying beside Dongwoo - - sitting on the floor, slumped on the couch, standing around - - he would leave. He’d walk out of the room or go into a corner or close a door. Like there was something he was saying that he didn’t want anyone else to hear.
That didn’t make any sense. Dongwoo had listened to most of his calls - - possibly every single one of his calls - - and he wasn’t saying anything that couldn’t be overheard. Nothing he needed to hide from his own members!
Was Seyong saying something Hoya didn’t want to risk being overheard? What, were they having phone sex or something?
Dongwoo didn’t like that Hoya suddenly wanted privacy, like they didn’t share everything together. But resenting it made him feel like a jerk, like he wasn’t being fair. It was good for Hoya to make new friends. Being with the members all day, every day could be exhausting; if Hoya had an excuse to find time to himself, good for him.
Feeling guilty over resenting Hoya’s friendship with Seyong, Dongwoo made an extra effort to be considerate. He asked how Seyong was, and he listened to Hoya’s “here’s what Seyong’s been up to lately in Japan” updates like he was interested. He was interested, just not in Seyong; what he cared about was Hoya, and the way Hoya smiled while talking about Seyong, and the affection in Hoya’s voice.
Hoya liked Seyong.
Really. Liked. Seyong.
Dongwoo wondered if the weird, nauseous feeling in his gut was jealousy. He’d never had it before, but now it was frequent, showing up whenever Hoya answered the phone and immediately left the room, whenever Hoya seemed to enjoy talking about Seyong too much, whenever Hoya was too busy talking to Seyong to talk to him. It was stupid to be jealous, wasn’t it? Wasn’t he just being a jerk? Seyong was all of the way in Japan, and Dongwoo was a part of Hoya’s life every hour of the day. What was there to be jealous of? Some phone calls? It wasn’t like Hoya was going to be Seyong’s boyfriend and date him and - - and - - and fuck him, or anything.
Before Infinite had debuted, their manager had put them all in a room together and given them a very long talk about how important it was to keep their reputation as idols. They’d been lectured on drugs and alcohol and nightclubs and sasaengs and sex and cursing and respect and what not to talk about on variety shows and what they should never say on social media and all sorts of other things. The part on sex had included the lines, “From the day you debut, you’re straight. If you’re bi, you’re straight. If you’re gay, you’re straight. If you’re gay and horny and about to explode, you have two options, one for each hand. You can take your right hand, put it on your dick, and masturbate until you have it under control. Or you can take your left hand, put it on the doorknob, and walk out, leaving Infinite for good. The day you get caught with another guy is the day that you destroy your career, but it’s not just your career. You’re stopping this entire train, and everyone on it, dead in its tracks.”
Dongwoo had hated everything about those few minutes of the lecture, and he’d told Sunggyu that later. But even while he’d detested it, he’d known that in some respects their manager was right. If he got caught picking up guys, he’d ruin everything he’d worked so hard for. He’d also ruin what the rest of the members had worked so hard for, and he got sick just at the thought of that. He’d never forgive himself if he jeopardized Infinite. It was unthinkable. So he focused on Infinite, on work, on the fans, on his schedules, on his goals. And he masturbated all of the goddamned time.
He loved Hoya, and everyone knew that he loved Hoya. He didn’t know how long he’d be able to remain celibate; he didn’t know when there might be a scandal, when he might make a mistake, when he might give himself away. And the day that happened, people would start looking at Hoya, wondering, making assumptions. The one person he wanted most in the world was Hoya; the last person he could ever touch was Hoya. To protect Hoya’s reputation, so that no one could ever say, “I witnessed this,” or, “I heard that,” so that Hoya and all of the other members could honestly say, “It was never like that, it never happened that way,” he kept it strictly friendship. If the scandal happened, he wanted it to bring the least damage possible.
Maybe if he’d loved Hoya less, he wouldn’t have been so strict with himself. Maybe if he’d loved Hoya less, he would’ve gotten laid more. It was kind of a weird thought. But when his hormones were pumping and Hoya was smiling at him and sexual urges were like a fever in his blood, his love for Hoya was the only force in the world strong enough to drag him away.
“Really?” Sunggyu asked, the third time they brought it up, while everyone was sitting on the floor in the dorm, eating.
“It goes on for hours,” Sungyeol said. “They didn’t stop until almost five o’clock this morning.”
“Hyung, you don’t talk to me as much as you talk to Seyong,” Sungjong said. “I’ve never heard you say so many words in a row.”
“What was he saying?” L asked.
“I don’t know, it was boring,” Sungyeol said.
“Then why were you listening?” Hoya asked, picking up a napkin and handing another to Dongwoo. It made Dongwoo feel guilty and stupid to sit there worrying about Seyong when Hoya was such a good friend that he couldn’t even get a napkin without thinking of Dongwoo.
“Because you wouldn’t shut up,” Sungyeol said, laughing.
“It was mostly about our schedules,” Sungjong said. “About how the fan signing went and how practice went and stuff like that. It wasn’t very interesting.”
“Of course it’s not interesting to you,” Dongwoo said, feeling like he should stick up for Hoya. “You already know all about it, you were there.”
“It was all about you, too,” Sungyeol said. “‘Dongwoo hyung, Dongwoo hyung, Dongwoo hyung.’”
“I’d talk about you, instead,” Hoya told Sungyeol. “If I had anything interesting to say.”
While they all burst into laughter, Dongwoo gave Hoya a high five and L hugged Sungyeol in mock comfort.
The choreography included a part where Hoya was on his back on the floor. Dongwoo, dancing around Hoya, would seem to control Hoya, so that when he hovered his hands over a certain part of Hoya’s body, it would rise. He’d play with Hoya for a while, and then pull Hoya up to stand and dance with him. The fans were going to love it, but it demanded a hell of a lot of accuracy and control.
They’d been working on this section of the dance for a while, and they weren’t improving as quickly as they wanted. Eventually, Dongwoo turned off the music.
“Why?” Hoya asked, his expression frustrated.
“How many times are we going to do the same thing if it’s not working?” Dongwoo asked. “We need to change it.”
“We’ll get it. If we keep trying-”
“We’ve been trying. You’ll do it a hundred more times and then a hundred more, but one of us has to have sense.”
Hoya’s eyebrows came up. “I don’t have sense?”
Dongwoo smiled, shaking Hoya’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t get your feelings hurt.” He empathized with Hoya - - if they kept working on it, wouldn’t they eventually get it right? - - but he felt like he should be a responsible hyung and put his foot down. What condition would Hoya’s body be in if they kept this going much longer? After tensing and flexing and popping and rolling with such fantastic precision, Hoya was going to be painfully sore tomorrow, and then how was Dongwoo going to feel? “We’ll do it twice more, all right?”
“Ten times,” Hoya said.
Dongwoo laughed. “Five! Five times, and we’ll see if we’re any better at it. Agreed?”
Hoya shook his hand firmly.
They tried it again, and it was about the same: decent, but not great. Their timing was off; they weren’t coordinating. They did it again, and it was worse, sloppy, inaccurate. Their frustration was getting to them. During their third attempt, Hoya’s expression was so grimly determined, Dongwoo couldn’t focus. “Relax.”
“What? Relax?” Hoya demanded, dropping his pose and sitting up. “How do you want me to relax when I’m locking every muscle in my back?”
Dongwoo hated seeing Hoya frustrated and pissed off. “This is supposed to be fun, isn’t it?”
“It’s also supposed to be good,” Hoya muttered. Laying back down, he turned his head to watch the mirror as his pelvis rolled upward. He undulated, then started ticking, his shoulders coming up, before undulating again, his back arching as his torso pumped up and down. Shirtless, his chest gleamed with sweat, every muscle in his abdomen flexed. He looked incredible, powerful, and sexy as fuck. So why was his expression so grim? Shouldn’t someone so amazingly skilled and so superbly fit moving so erotically look proud, happy, triumphant?
“You should be enjoying this,” Dongwoo scolded him, cupping his jaw and turning his face. “Stop glaring at the mirror if you don’t have the sense to like what you see.” Was the mirror the problem? “We’re dancing with each other, aren’t we? Not with the mirror. Forget the mirror, just look at me for once.”
Hoya sighed and pushed him aside, getting up. “Yes,” Hoya said, and got into position for the start of this section.
Rotating his shoulder, Dongwoo stood. The music was on a loop. For a moment they were still, frozen in their poses, silent and focused. Then the right beat struck, and they kicked into motion, hips twisting, arms swinging. Dongwoo moved forward, Hoya right behind him, and then he turned and Hoya started going down, and he did a lewd little move right over Hoya, and when he looked down, Hoya was looking at the mirror again.
“Look at me,” he said, drawing his hands back as Hoya’s shoulders rose. “Not the mirror, Hoya, look at hyung.” He wanted to focus on what made this fun, what made this good: their pleasure in their own bodies, their pride in their skill, the joy of dancing together and sharing the stage.
Hoya looked at him, lips parting, back arching. At the first shock of eye contact, electricity sparked in Dongwoo, snatching away his breath. Dragging air into his lungs, he slid his hands down toward Hoya’s thighs, and Hoya moved with him, staring into his eyes, body lifting and rolling in perfect obedience to his hovering palms.
Just a dance, it was just choreography, and he tried to tell himself that, but it felt like so much more. Hoya’s gaze was so focused, it seemed to penetrate right through him, and every provocative undulation of Hoya’s sweat-slick, muscular torso seemed to be just for him. Reminding himself to concentrate, he licked his lips, and Hoya moaned.
Oh, god. It was a small sound, short, quiet, but somehow it seemed to last forever, echoing off of the walls. “Oouh-aahhh.” It sounded needy and aching and lusty as hell, like the audible version of the sexual hunger being unleashed in Dongwoo’s veins. Hoya’s back was arched, hips up, thighs spread, and that wasn’t right, that wasn’t part of the choreography - - but that was, Dongwoo realized with a start, exactly what his hands had asked for.
Slowly, too turned on to resist the temptation, testing, Dongwoo moved his hands farther apart.
Beneath him, Hoya’s thighs spread further, opening for him.
Fuck, yes. Groaning, Dongwoo slid his hands in and down, and Hoya’s legs closed a little, hips lowering again. Drawn to the bare skin of Hoya’s naked torso, he slid his hands forward, and Hoya’s body rippled with him, undulating sinuously as Hoya gazed into his eyes. The graceful, powerful flexing of Hoya’s muscles, the absolute self-control Hoya was exerting at Dongwoo’s command, blew his mind. It was so stunningly erotic that his hands came closer and closer to Hoya’s body, tempted by the sight of gorgeous, taut flesh.
Hoya obeyed him without hesitation, pulsing and popping and flowing with each movement of his hands. It felt as if they were connected, as if the invisible puppet strings between them were real, as if Dongwoo could draw Hoya upward merely by wishing it so. Hoya’s gaze was focused entirely on Dongwoo’s face, as if nothing else could capture his attention. His movements were as trusting as they were erotic, his body flowing naturally under Dongwoo’s command.
Dongwoo had to touch him, to feel the ripple of muscle, to stroke Hoya’s warm, flushed skin, to feel his body rise up against Dongwoo’s palms. God, it-
Hoya looked away, suddenly distracted, breaking the connection.
Surprised, desperate to get the moment back, Dongwoo splayed his hands over Hoya’s ribcage.
“Seyong,” Hoya said, sitting up. “Excuse me, hyung,” and before Dongwoo could catch him, he was getting up, grabbing his ringing phone, and leaving the room.
What - - had he - - “Fuck!” Dongwoo shouted, slamming his fist down on the bare floor where Hoya had used to be. That could not have happened. Hoya could not have run out on him while they’d been - - while they were - - during - - and for Seyong?! For Kim Seyong, really?! While Dongwoo was lusting and needing and, god, rock-hard, Hoya was scrambling to answer the phone for that kid?!
“What the fuck,” Dongwoo said, dropping back onto his ass. “What the. Fuck.” Flopping across his back, arms spread, he tried to absorb what had just happened. How sexy and handsome and his Hoya had been, right under his hands, responding to every little twitch of his fingers. They’d been connecting, communicating, together, in the moment, in perfect harmony, perfect rhythm. Hoya had been moaning. It had never felt so right between them, never been so good.
And Hoya had tossed that aside to answer the fucking phone.
Dongwoo was so confused and hurt that he felt disoriented. Had he misunderstood the moment? Had he misread Hoya’s responses to him? But what the hell had that moan been, then? Had he been having a private, sexual moment all by himself, while Hoya was just learning the choreography? No, no, they’d been in it together, he hadn’t imagined it. Had it been getting too good? Too intense? Maybe Hoya had wanted to stop him before he went too far. Maybe grabbing the phone had been Hoya’s way of breaking the mood and escaping to give them both a chance to cool off. He’d been seconds away from running his hands right over Hoya’s body, and there would’ve been no holding back then.
His conscience pricking him, Dongwoo bit at his lower lip. It shouldn’t have been up to Hoya to stop him. He should have stopped himself.
He stayed there on the floor while his sweat cooled. After a while, Hoya came back in and said, “It’s late. Should we go?”
Back to the dorm, to separate beds in separate rooms. “Yeah,” Dongwoo said without any energy whatsoever, and Hoya reached a hand down, helping him up.
“Yeah?” One glance at Hoya’s cheerful, smiling face woke him up, giving him a fresh jolt of energy. He knew that he shouldn’t do it, but he couldn’t resist nudging Hoya back, his thigh rubbing against Hoya’s.
Hoya grinned, running a hand over his thigh before pushing it away. “Their flight’s coming in tomorrow evening, so we’re going to see if we can meet up tomorrow night.”
Hoya’s hand was right against the top of his thigh. Dongwoo undulated, testing, and it stayed right there, riding the wave of his body like he’d never moved. “He’s going to be thrilled to see you.”
“I’m pretty excited to see him, too.” Hoya moved aside, hand dropping, to make room as Sunggyu came into the bathroom. Together, the two of them glanced at Sunggyu, then looked at each other and mimicked Sunggyu’s sleepy, bleary expression. Snickering, Hoya left; Dongwoo watched Sunggyu start to shower, then went back to shaving.
Sunggyu was sitting on the floor with Woohyun, ordering Sungjong around while Sungjong dug through Hoya’s clothes. L and Sungyeol kept trying things on and coming up with deliberately horrible combinations. Hoya was pretty much ignoring all of them and looking over some shirts while Dongwoo cleaned up after L and Sungyeol.
Their manager came in and handed Hoya a small plastic store bag. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t,” Hoya said.
“What’s that?” Woohyun asked as their manager left.
“Nothing,” Hoya said, and walked out of the room with it.
Sunggyu chuckled. “‘What’s that?’ What do you think it is?”
“What?” Sungjong asked, looking around, while Woohyun burst into laughter.
“Condoms,” Sunggyu said. “Condoms and lube.”
The world screeched to a halt.
Condoms and lube.
Their manager had just given Hoya condoms the night before his date with - - “No,” Dongwoo said, and pushed L out of his way, sprinting across the dorm.
Hoya was in his bedroom, a box in his hand. When Dongwoo shoved him against the pole of the bunk bed, little plastic-wrapped discs flew out of the box, scattering across the room. “Hyung,” Hoya said, having the nerve to be startled.
“What is that?” Dongwoo demanded. His right hand balled in the front of Hoya’s tank top, pinning Hoya to the pole; his left hand snatched up one of the condoms. “What is this?!”
“Hyung.” Hoya’s eyes were wide. “You know what a condom is.” He blinked, his lips curving like he wanted to laugh. “Do you not know what a condom is?”
“I know! I know what it is!” Dongwoo shouted. “Why the fuck do you have it?!”
Hoya frowned, looking less certain now. “For Seyong.” He licked his lips. “It’s okay, hyung, it’s all arranged. Our manager talked to Myname’s manager and-”
“He’s a man!” Dongwoo shouted. “Man! You’re having sex with men, now?”
“I like him,” Hoya said, and impatiently shoved Dongwoo away, breaking his grip. “What’s your problem?”
Dongwoo felt like he couldn’t explode fast enough. “I haven’t had you once in all of this time! I’ve kept my hands to myself and my mouth to myself and my cock to myself, trying to protect your goddamned reputation! I’ve been trying to protect you!” There wasn’t enough screaming in the world to express how fucking upset he was. “You’re throwing it away for some hoobae?!”
“I’m not throwing anything away.” Hoya looked pissed off, which only confused and infuriated him further, because how dare Hoya look angry with him?! “I never asked you to protect my reputation. If you don’t want me, it shouldn’t matter to you if someone else does.”
“If I don’t want you? Are you out of your fucking - - aaauugh!” Dongwoo slammed both hands against the top bunk. “When have I ever not wanted you? When? When?!”
“When have you?” Hoya demanded. “When you won’t kiss me, you won’t fuck me, I’ve been waiting for years!”
Dongwoo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What world are we living in?! What happened to right hand left hand, open the door and leave Infinite?”
“That?” Hoya asked in disbelief. “They were trying to scare us.” He looked incredulous. “Why did you take that seriously? What do you think Sunggyu hyung and Woohyun have been doing?”
“I don’t know!” Well, no, obviously he knew exactly what Sunggyu and Woohyun had been doing, but he’d figured that was up to them. He certainly hadn’t taken it as permission. He hadn’t been willing to risk Hoya’s future. “Don’t you care what happens to you? Your career, your reputation?”
“Do you think I’m stupid?” Hoya asked. “I’m not going to take photos of it or write on Twitter about it. Seyong has his own reputation to protect. It’s not the best situation, but I really like him and I’m really tired of not getting any cock.”
“Oh, poor, sad Hoya,” Dongwoo muttered, feeling angry and mean. “What have you been waiting for?”
“I’ve been waiting for you!” Hoya snapped. “If I had you, I wouldn’t want him. If I had you, I wouldn’t want anything! Now I finally have Seyong, and you’re angry?”
Dongwoo stared at Hoya’s flushed, furious face, feeling like Hoya had just slammed a boulder into his chest. Stunned, he rocked back, bumping into the bunk bed. It all began to sink in. What they’d been arguing about. What they were saying to each other. What he’d done, what he’d missed out on, what he might have now.
“You’re going to want this,” Sungyeol’s voice said, and someone pushed something into his hand. He heard the members snickering, and then he heard the bedroom door close behind him.
Hoya rolled his eyes and snatched the bottle of lube from Dongwoo’s hand. “Go.”
“Uh.” Dongwoo realized that Hoya wasn’t in the right mood for this, but he really, really needed to ask. “Can I fuck you?”
Hoya stared at him in silence with the tense, critical expression Hoya reserved for only the most worthless of people, then said, “Hyung. Don’t misunderstand me, but. You’re an asshole.”
Gasping, Dongwoo smacked his shoulder. “Don’t call me that, you little shit! I’m your hyung!”
Hoya shot Dongwoo that look again, then relaxed, putting his hands on his hips. “Suddenly? Why now? Because of Seyong?”
“I don’t care about Seyong!” Grabbing Hoya, Dongwoo shoved him down across his bed, climbing right on top of him and leaning into his face. “Stop talking about Seyong. You’re not dating Seyong, you’re not fucking Seyong. You’re having sex with me, goddamnit! Me! Me! Me!”
Hoya smiled at him. “It seems like you might want me.”
“Augh, yes,” Dongwoo groaned, and kissed him. Mmm, ah, the kissing was good; Hoya kissed hard at first, aggressively, and then delicately, like he had as much control over his tongue as over the rest of his body, and he knew exactly what to do with it to set Dongwoo on fire. Moaning, too consumed with lust to wait, Dongwoo pushed at his waistband, and he tugged at Dongwoo’s shirt, and then they were twisting against each other, stripping, and they were so used to being partners and working around each other’s bodies that there was no awkwardness, no need to dodge elbows, just efficiency and fluidity and teamwork, and then they were naked and Dongwoo was touching everything and Hoya was grinding against him, moaning, undulating and nipping at his neck and whispering, “Dongwoo hyung, now, now is good, I want it now.”
Dongwoo couldn’t get in fast enough. Thank god the lube and condoms were right there. He hadn’t done this in so long he could barely comprehend how good it felt, how much he needed it, and he’d never done this with Hoya but their bodies fit together perfectly, naturally, like they’d choreographed this, too. The bunk was so small and crowded that they barely had any room to maneuver, but Dongwoo loved being this close to Hoya, pressed together, their sweat-slick bodies gliding and rocking against each other. They shifted positions without talking, communicating by touches and movements and wordless moans of pleasure and need. On his side, pressing up against Hoya’s muscular back, Dongwoo groaned in gratification as Hoya undulated sinuously against him, Hoya’s ass rubbing against his thighs as he thrust in deeper. He couldn’t get enough of Hoya, of the sexy moaning sounds Hoya kept making, of the incredible eroticism of Hoya’s body. His hands ran over every inch of Hoya he could reach, and all of it was fantastic, firm and supple in all of the right places, powerful flexes of muscle, smooth planes of satiny skin. Kissing Hoya’s shoulder, nuzzling against Hoya’s neck, he grunted and asked, “You like it?”
“Yes.” Making a soft, gorgeous sound, Hoya rolled against him, rubbing back into him and then leaning forward, reaching back for his thigh and pulling him along.
Pressing forward, covering Hoya’s back and thrusting in hard, Dongwoo groaned. “Nnn, ah, that’s it, unh, yes…”
“Hyung,” Hoya whispered, rocking back against him. “Please, hyung. Make me come.”
“God, unh, yes.” While their bodies met in rhythm, Dongwoo slid his hand down Hoya’s abs to the stiff jut of Hoya’s cock. Hoya shuddered against him and he rubbed his face against the back of Hoya’s neck, panting. “Fuck, uunnnh, I love this. I love you.” His hand pumped the shaft, coordinating the beat with the thrust and slide of their hips, pleasure saturating him while Hoya moaned and writhed against him. “Tell me I can have this,” he said, panting it as he drove into Hoya again and again, tightening his grip on Hoya’s cock as precum wet his palm. “Tell me I can do this again, tell me I can have you.”
“Hyung,” Hoya moaned, bucking against him, hips jerking sharply. “Dongwoo hyung, yes. Whenever you want.” Hoya’s body drew tight, and he pounded into Hoya quickly, knowing it was time, wanting it, pushing for it. Gasping, Hoya bucked again, cock twitching in his grasp.
“Come on, yeah, come on, that’s it,” Dongwoo urged, fucking him through it until he was crying out and spurting cum between Dongwoo’s fingers. Panting, he buried his face in his pillow, thighs spreading and hips lifting like even in his ecstasy he was greedy for more cock. Plunging into him, Dongwoo groaned, loving it, loving him, loving the squeeze of his ass and the sound of his satisfied moans and him, just him, everything about him.
“Ah…” Arching his back and rubbing his cheek against his pillow, Hoya sounded deliciously content. “Mmm, hyung, come inside me.”
“Fuck, yes,” Dongwoo moaned, sliding his hand up the line of Hoya’s back. He barely had time to breathe again before he was coming, ecstasy crashing through him in an uncontrollable wave as if summoned by Hoya’s words. Groaning as bliss rattled him, he buried his cock deep, pumping his hips as his cum spurted out in long, thick pulses. Seeing stars and breathing hard, he smiled helplessly as euphoria washed over him. His thoughts were an incoherent jumble and his emotions were spilling out in all directions, but one thing he was sure of was Hoya. “My Hoya,” he said, nuzzling between Hoya’s shoulder blades. “My Hoya, mine.”
“Mmm.” Hoya stretched, and he loved it, loved feeling every movement of Hoya’s body right against his skin. “Do you want to make an agreement?”
“Sure. What agreement?” Feeling gloriously content, he slid off of Hoya’s back as Hoya rolled over to face him. Their bodies lined up again, writhing familiarly against each other for a moment as Dongwoo curled his arm around Hoya’s shoulders.
Hoya’s expression was smug. “You can keep fucking me, and I won’t date other guys, if you’ll give me head whenever I ask for it.”
That sounded terrific. “Is there a downside?”
Hoya grinned, running his fingertip along Dongwoo’s upper lip. “Not for me.”
“What?” Dongwoo asked, laughing. “What does that mean?”
He didn’t just see Hoya’s shrug, he felt it. “How much do you like giving head?”
“I don’t know!” Laughing, he felt happy and self-conscious. He’d never talked to Hoya like this, about this. “A lot,” he admitted. “I like it a lot.” Wanting to know everything about Hoya’s sexuality that it had never been safe to ask before, he asked, “What do you like?”
Hoya chuckled, looking away like he was embarrassed. “You,” he said, threading his fingers through Dongwoo’s hair. “I like you, hyung.” He blushed and met Dongwoo’s eyes again. “Should I tell Seyong that I can’t see him tomorrow?”
“Yes! Yes, yes.” In his exuberance, Dongwoo took a moment to pepper kisses all across Hoya’s face. Laughing, Hoya got a firmer grip on his hair and held him still. When Hoya’s tongue flicked along his jaw, he moaned, his back arching, and Hoya whispered, “I’ll be yours, hyung,” before kissing his mouth.
By the time Hoya came home, most of the other members were in bed. Dongwoo and Hoya and L sat on the floor, talking about Seyong and Myname and the movie, and Dongwoo wrapped himself around Hoya, stroking Hoya’s body and caressing Hoya’s hair and nuzzling against Hoya’s neck and running his hands under Hoya’s clothes and soaking up all of the skinship he’d missed while Hoya had been out. Hoya shifted to accommodate him, accustomed to the attention, keeping one hand resting matter-of-factly on his thigh while they talked.
Eventually, L said good night and left them alone. Dongwoo tightened his arms around Hoya and rested his chin on Hoya’s shoulder.
“You want to come next time?” Hoya asked.
“Yeah,” Dongwoo said. He kissed Hoya’s cheek. Now that L was gone, he slid his hand down between Hoya’s thighs, cupping familiarly. “We need to do a special stage for next weekend.”
“What? Since when?”
“I don’t know, since tonight. A minute and a half intro to our performance.”
Hoya leaned back against him, making a thoughtful noise. “Just the two of us?”
“Yeah.” He kissed Hoya’s neck, nuzzling up into Hoya’s hairline. “We can choreograph it ourselves, right?”
“Of course.” The hand on his thigh squeezed. “Fuck me first, I think better after sex.”
Immediately agreeable to that idea, Dongwoo hopped up, taking Hoya’s
hand and pulling him to his feet. Together, they walked into their bedroom and
shut the door.
Copyright July 24, 2013
by Matthew Haldeman-Time
Copyright July 24, 2013