How to Get Suho to Watch

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            Baekhyun couldn’t take it.  He couldn’t do this anymore, he couldn’t keep noticing what he’d been noticing and doing what he’d been doing and not talk to anyone about it.

            Finally, one night, Suho left with Sehun for another playdate with L.Joe.  Knowing that meant that Suho would be away for a couple of hours, at least, Baekhyun took advantage of his suddenly leaderless situation and went to where Lay stood in the kitchen with Xiumin and Chanyeol.  Planting both hands on the tabletop and leaning forward, he asked, “Has Suho hyung kissed you?”

            “We kiss all of the time,” Lay said.  “Every eight days.”

            “No, no, has he kissed you first?” Baekhyun asked.  “Does he ever make the first move, lately?  In anything like that?”

            “Are we allowed to talk about this?” Chanyeol asked, looking between them.  Already nervous about that, Baekhyun made a shushing gesture to shut him up.  He made it right back, and Xiumin, laughing, smacked his hand back down.

            “Yes!” Lay told Baekhyun, once everyone else was finished messing around.  “Yes.”  He waved his spoon for emphasis.  “He’s not so shy, lately.  There are still some things - - he hides under the blankets and won’t let me watch him blow me - - but he kisses first and touches more.”

            “And asks for things,” Baekhyun said, feeling even more energetic now that he had confirmation.  “Does he ask for things?”

            “Asks for everything,” Lay said, nodding.  “He wants all of it.”

            “Aaahh, I can’t take this, I feel like he’s going to walk in any second,” Chanyeol said, hugging himself and laughing nervously as he eyed the doorway behind Baekhyun.

            “Go guard the front door and let us talk, then,” Baekhyun said.  He felt guilty, knowing how much Suho wouldn’t like it, but it wouldn’t hurt to talk a little, just this one time, just for a second, right?  “Xiumin hyung, does he ask you for things he didn’t used to talk about?”

            Xiumin raised an eyebrow.  “What, you mean like, ‘Oohh, again, hyung, fuck me again, please, hyung, it feels so good?’”  While Baekhyun was practically melting down the side of the table thinking about Suho talking like that, Xiumin shrugged and grinned.  “I don’t know, I can’t talk about it.”

            “He’s been saying yes to everybody, hasn’t he?” Lay asked.  “And everybody stays in there longer.”

            “You’re all in there forever,” Baekhyun said.  “Chen and I barely get to see our own beds anymore.  Since when does sex suddenly take you that long?” he asked Chanyeol.  “You’re finished with me in minutes.”

            “Fast food,” Chanyeol said, raising one hand.  “Steak,” he said, raising the other.  “You don’t rush steak.”

            “Fast food?” Baekhyun demanded, laughing, coming around the table and shoving him.  “Since when am I fast food?”  Backing up, Chanyeol tried to duck and dodge.  “I wasn’t fast food last night, was I?  I wasn’t fast food when you were crawling into my bed.  ‘Hey, come on, let me put it in, don’t you want to taste it?’”

            “Fast food!” Chanyeol said, defending himself from Baekhyun’s fists as he backed toward the door.  “Leftover chicken!  Delivery-”

            “Members!  What’s this?”

            At the sound of Suho’s voice, Chanyeol froze.  Baekhyun stared into his eyes in petrified horror.

            “I can’t leave for a minute?” Suho asked.  Suddenly feeling something on his shoulder, Baekhyun jumped a mile into the air, startled.  Oh, god, it was just Suho’s hand.  He fell back a step, letting Suho separate him from Chanyeol.  “If it’s like this when I leave, do I have to stay here twenty-four hours a day?  I can’t ever go out to do anything else?”

            “No, hyung,” Chanyeol mumbled, rubbing his ear.

            “They were just goofing around,” Xiumin said.  “It’s okay.”

            “Let’s all take some responsibility, and take care of our members,” Suho said.  Which was Suho’s way of chiding Xiumin and Lay for letting them fight.

            “Suho hyung!  I got it!” Sehun called from another room.

            “Walking in and seeing people punching each other,” Suho said to himself, walking away.  “Makes me think I’m in Teen Top’s dorm.”

            Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun.  Staring at him back, Baekhyun shivered, and he laughed.  “Do we need to rent out bank vaults just to hold a conversation?” Chanyeol asked.

            “No, don’t do that,” Baekhyun said.  “He’d just walk in on us, talking about checking on his safe deposit box.”

            “Guys, let’s not talk about this,” Kai said.

            Lay was between Chen and Xiumin on the couch.  Chen was tucked in against his side.  He’d put his arm around Chen’s shoulders just to get comfortable, earlier, but his hand had wandered down over Chen’s T-shirt, and now he was rubbing Chen’s pecs.  “This is different, isn’t it?  Talking about what Suho does in private is wrong, but can’t we talk about what he does right in front of us?  If he does something in the kitchen, that’s not private.”

            “Exactly,” Xiumin said.  “Nothing that happens in this room is private, right?  We can talk about it as much as we want.  And Suho hyung sits in here and watches us screw.”

            “Usually in that chair,” Lay said, gesturing to the one turned toward the couch.  D.O., currently seated there, gave it a wondering look.

            “It doesn’t last very long, though,” Chanyeol said.  “I think that he gets nervous.  He just, all of a sudden, he runs out.”

            “He runs out during some of my best moves,” Xiumin said.  “I was just about to get Sehun off last night when I looked up and he was gone.”

            “I wish that he’d stay,” Chen admitted.  “It’s kind of nice.  Even if he doesn’t join in, I like that he’s comfortable enough to watch us.”

            “Maybe we should let him know that we like it,” Kai said.  “Get him to do it more often.”

            “What?” Sehun asked.  “I thought you didn’t want us to talk about it.”

            “If we’re going to talk about it, let’s do something about it,” Kai said.  “He gets up and leaves because he’s self-conscious about it, right?  But he doesn’t have to be.  How do we tell him that without freaking him out?”

            “How do you indirectly tell someone you want him to look?” Chen asked.

            “Do it in front of him more often?” Chanyeol asked.

            “Should we initiate it more right in front of him?” Sehun asked.

            “That’s so hot,” Lay said, wrapping his arm around Xiumin’s shoulders.  Glancing down, Xiumin grinned at his hard-on and put a hand on his thigh.

            “We could invite him over to watch it,” Baekhyun suggested.  “Not the members doing it, but - - like if Chen’s going down on Xiumin hyung, Chanyeol and I can stand right beside them and talk about something and ask Suho hyung for his opinion.”

            “That’s good,” D.O. said, nodding.  “That would be easier for him.  It’ll give him an excuse to stand there and pretend he’s doing something else.”

            “It’s so funny,” Chen said.  “We’ve all been so careful not to include him, it’ll be weird to find ways to get him to stay and watch.”

            “Just don’t force it,” Kai said.  “If he gets uncomfortable, let him go.”

            “He’s always uncomfortable,” Xiumin said.  “It’s sex.  Even when he’s begging me to nail him again, he’s-”

            “Hyung!” Kai objected.

            “He doesn’t beg you to nail him,” Chen said.  “He doesn’t say it like that.”

            “If he ever does, tell me,” Lay said.  “I need to know about that, I need to hear it.  How would he say it, do you think?  ‘Nail my ass, hyung, please,’ or maybe-”

            “Lay hyung,” Chen said, patting his hand.  “Maybe you should think about that privately.  I don’t think that Suho hyung wants us to talk about that out loud with each other.”

            “‘Please, please, nail me hard,’” Lay decided.  “I think that sounds right.”

            Chanyeol coughed in surprise and looked away.

            Everyone else froze, staring at Chanyeol.

            “Is that - - is that what he says to you?” Baekhyun asked.

            Turning red to the tips of his ears, he mumbled, “Did I leave the - - I should check on the - - does anyone want something to drink?” and fled to the kitchen.

            Chen was on his back in Xiumin’s bed, making out, feeling good and turned on, when Xiumin asked, “What does he do with you?”

            “What?  Who?”  Rubbing his thumb along Xiumin’s jaw, he took another kiss.  “Mmm…”

            “Suho.  When it’s your night.  What does he do with you?”  Xiumin broke their kiss, eyeing him speculatively.  “Does he fuck you?”

            “Hyung,” Chen objected, laughing.  “We do things, we do things people do together.  Let’s not talk about that.”

            “I know what he’s doing in there with the rest of us,” Xiumin said.  “He’s a lot more assertive about begging for it lately, and he’s asking us for the same things.  But you and Baekhyun, what’s he begging you for?  Do you fuck him?”

            “Hyung.  You know I can’t tell you that.”  Wrapping his arms around Xiumin, he kissed Xiumin’s cheek.  “Don’t worry about it.  We only have so many body parts.  We’re not doing anything new you’ve never heard of.”

            Xiumin eyed him intently, and one eyebrow rose in a wicked arch.  “I’d give anything to see him balls-deep in your hot ass.”

            Sometimes, so would Chen.  As he distracted Xiumin with another kiss, he couldn’t suppress a yearning shudder.  The more assertive Suho was, the more sexually confident Suho became, the more Chen wanted him and the hotter their time was together.  Lately, Suho was sexier and sexier to him, and he ached from wanting to feel Suho press inside of him.  He fantasized about Suho crawling into bed with him, fantasized about Suho climbing on top of him.  He had hot, urgent dreams where he sat on top and rode that hard, sexy cock for hours.

            But it had been established between them a long time ago that Suho wouldn’t do that, that things would only go so far and no farther.  He didn’t want to push Suho too much or bring up things that only made Suho unhappy.  But the rules seemed to be changing.  Suho was more assertive and more open, with him and with the other members.  Suho had started to ask for things.  Maybe soon it would be okay for Chen to ask for something, too.

            D.O. wondered if anyone else had the same questions he had.  He wanted to talk to Kai about it, but Kai was pissed off at how much talking everyone was suddenly doing about Suho’s sex life.

            He waited until Kai was stretched out in bed, texting Taemin.  Then he sat down on the edge of Kai’s bed and put his hand on Kai’s back.

            Kai rolled onto one side, making room for him, and plucked at his shirt, tugging him in.

            He scooted closer.

            Pushing his phone away, Kai shimmied around, curling around until his head was in D.O.’s lap.  Smiling, D.O. stroked his hair.  He closed his eyes, smiling.

            “Don’t get mad at me.”

            “I’m never mad at you.”

            D.O. snorted.  “You’ve been mad at me before.”

            He smiled, pressing his face against D.O.’s stomach.  “Never.”

            He was so cute, D.O. laughed and kept petting him.  “Okay, then don’t get angry now.  Everyone’s talking about how different Suho hyung is-”

            In a flash, Kai was sitting up straight.  “We can’t talk about that!  Why does everyone keep talking about that!  How many members do we have?  Why can’t any of them respect a hyung’s privacy?  He does everything for us and we can’t do this one thing for him?”

            D.O. waited until the outpouring of words stopped, and then he continued.  “-but no one’s talking about why.  Why is he different?  Why now, why all of a sudden?”

            Kai gave him a quick, discerning glance.  “You think you know.”

            “Maybe.”  He patted his lap.

            Kai folded right over, curling up, head in his lap again.

            Pleased, he threaded his fingers through Kai’s hair.  “I think that it’s either Changjo or L sunbae.  Or both of them?  I think that whatever they’re saying to him, it’s making him feel different about sex.  Or different about us.”

            “Different about us?”

            “Not in a bad way.”

            Kai made a soft, unhappy growling noise and sat up again.  “Do you think that it’s L sunbae?”

            D.O. knew that, after what had happened at noraebang, Kai still held a grudge.  But D.O. had talked to Suho about it at length, and he knew that Suho was completely comfortable with L and had put that completely behind them.  “Maybe.  When we’re alone, he’s said some things to me that sound like things Infinite would say.  About a leader being responsible for his members.  But Changjo’s the one who texted him, ‘Are you looking?  Do you like what you see?’”

            Kai’s eyes widened in surprise.  “That kid!”

            “Suho texted back, ‘Dongsaeng-ah, stop bothering hyung with foolish questions.’  But he didn’t ask what Changjo meant by that.  I think Changjo and L sunbae are both,” he phrased it carefully, “influencing him.”

            Kai looked uneasy.  “Should we talk to him about it?”

            “Is it a bad thing?” D.O. asked.  “If it’s making him feel more confident?  If it’s bringing him closer to us?”

            Kai shifted uneasily, tucking a leg under himself.  “I don’t want strange sunbaes having that much influence on him.”

            “They’re not strange sunbaes, really,” D.O. reflected.  “It’s just that we don’t trust them, and he does.”

            “Should we talk to him?” Kai asked.

            “I don’t want to make him second-guess himself.  Not while he’s feeling more confident.”

            “Should we talk to them?”

            That seemed like the next logical step.  “L sunbae won’t listen to you.”

            Kai studied him, brow furrowed.  “Who would Changjo listen to?”

            “Suho hyung.”

            “Hmm?”  Passing through the living room, Suho paused at Chen’s call.

            Standing by the TV with Baekhyun, Chen pulled him closer, fingers circling his wrist.  “You have to be honest.”

            “About what?”

            Chen stood to Suho’s right, holding him tethered.  Directly to his left, Sehun was sprawled in a chair, head back, legs spread.  Xiumin was between his thighs, sucking his cock, and Chanyeol stood over him, erection in Sehun’s mouth.  His long, naked body looked so handsome, so erotic, that Suho ached with the desire to kiss along each and every beautiful line of muscle.

            “…can’t just tell the stylist noona that,” Baekhyun was saying.

            “We have to be able to collaborate with them,” Suho said.  Chanyeol’s erection looked so smooth, so satiny, sliding between Sehun’s lips.  Reflexively, Suho swallowed, remembering the way it felt filling his mouth, easing down his throat.

            “…have to listen to them sometimes, though,” Chen was saying.  “They’re professionals, they know what looks good.  If it were up to you, you’d go around looking like this all of the time.”

            “This!” Baekhyun repeated, laughing.  “It’s so bad?  What’s wrong with how I look?”

            Xiumin’s head bobbed up and down over Sehun’s cock.  He sucked slowly, steadily, not rushing it, and Suho burned with lust.  The pleasure mounting in Sehun’s body had to feel incredible.  So much arousal, so much tension.

Suho swallowed again, remembering the heat of Sehun’s silky erection against his lips.  He loved going down on Sehun.  He wished that he were in Xiumin’s place, licking Sehun’s cock.  That gorgeous, delicious cock.

He’d missed more of the conversation.  “Are you sure that you want to bring the Shinee sunbaenims into this?” Baekhyun asked.  “You’ve seen what their stylists do to them.  Why does it seem like they’ve worn their grandmothers’ upholstery onstage?”

Sehun’s hand landed in Xiumin’s hair, and Suho bit back a moan.  He remembered sliding his own hand through Xiumin’s hair, moaning, writhing, trying not to pull, panting for air as Xiumin sucked on him.  Xiumin was so good, so experienced, and Suho could never hold still for it, always had to move, squirming, begging.  Biting his lip, he raked his gaze up Sehun’s naked body to Chanyeol’s cock again.  Sehun’s lips were wrapped tightly around that long, red shaft, and saliva flooded Suho’s mouth as Chanyeol rocked in and out.

“Gaauughh, unh, yeah,” Sehun moaned, and Suho wanted to kneel down beside Xiumin and guide Sehun to climax.  “Unh, yeah, suck it,” he panted, and his eyes opened.

Sehun stared into Suho like there were no secrets between them, like he knew all about the hot jolts of desire pulsing between Suho’s thighs, like he’d been the one to put them there.

Suho couldn’t do this, couldn’t be here, no.  Immediately, he looked away, twisting his arm from Chen’s light hold.  “You should give your opinion,” he told Baekhyun, “but you have to listen to the experts.  They’ve been doing this a lot longer than we have.”  He knew that it was abrupt, but he had to go, and he walked away, a hot twist of need racing through him and making him shudder.  Rubbing at his mouth, he blinked, trying to get those images out of his mind: Sehun’s long body draped on the chair like an invitation, Chanyeol’s naked erection filling Sehun’s mouth, Xiumin’s soft lips and bobbing head.  Grimacing, squeezing his eyes shut, Suho stood in the middle of his room, yanking his shirt down over his hard-on and trying to catch his breath.

            “Okay, let’s try it again?” Xiumin asked, and everyone nodded.

            “And no,” Chen smacked Sehun in the back of the head, “eye contact!”

            When he was invited to come in and watch Chanyeol and Chen try to beat some videogame record one night, Suho agreed.  Chen pushed him into a corner of the sofa, sitting beside him.  Baekhyun was on Kai’s lap on the other end of the sofa, the two of them making out, but they had all of their clothes on and Chen made a nice buffer, so Suho stayed put.

            Then Sehun crawled into his lap, settling in to stay, and Chen slid down to kneel on the floor beside Chanyeol.  Wrapping his arm around Sehun, he glanced over to see that Baekhyun’s shirt was off.  The tent in Baekhyun’s pants made him want to touch it, to cup its warmth and feel Baekhyun squirm.

            “Whoa, hey!” Chen exclaimed, laughing.

            “Wait a second, wait a second,” Chanyeol said, sounding flustered.

            “Did you just skip a level?” Sehun asked.

            “Mmm, it’s hard,” Kai murmured, running his hand over Baekhyun’s hard-on.  Suho bit his lip, knowing just how good Kai’s touch felt, wanting to feel that light pressure.  Baekhyun wriggled happily, kissing Kai harder, and Suho was too turned on for this.  He had to get the maknae off of his lap, he couldn’t just sit here and get worked up, what if Sehun noticed?  “Want to get off?” Kai invited.

            Yes.  Yes, he did.

            “Ahhh, yeah,” Baekhyun breathed, pushing his waistband down.  His bare hard-on looked so good, heat scorched Suho at the sight of it.  Thick and red, it looked like a handsome treat, like the answer to Suho’s desires.

            As Kai’s hand wrapped around Baekhyun’s erection, Baekhyun’s hips rocked upward, and Suho grunted in Sehun’s ear.  Embarrassed, he wanted to get up, to get away, but he couldn’t do that without causing a scene and being obvious.  He didn’t want to ruin their good time, he just wanted some sort of safety zone, a barrier.  More space, an out.  Walls between him and them.

            “Ouch!  Chanyeol hyung, are you sure that you’ve played this before?” Sehun asked.

            “I have the top score,” Chen said as Kai’s tongue dipped between Baekhyun’s lips again.

            “Second highest score,” Chanyeol corrected as Baekhyun pushed his underpants down farther.  Suho stared, feasting on the sight of him.  His bare, taut thighs, his narrow hips, the thick thatch of black pubic hair, made Suho want to taste him, to kiss the line of his pelvis, to burrow between his thighs in pursuit of his luscious, pink balls.  Still jacking his cock, Kai was neglecting his balls, and Suho wanted to make up for that, to mouth them and suck on them a little.  To make him feel good, to make him writhe.

            “Ahh, yeah,” Baekhyun panted.  Twisting, he moved to one side, leaning back over the armrest.  As Kai covered him, he tugged Kai’s shirt upward, revealing Kai’s smooth, muscular back.

Captivated, Suho wanted to run his hands over Kai’s back, to feel the warmth of Kai’s skin.  When was the last time he’d kissed Kai’s back?  It would be so easy to travel the length of Kai’s spine, to kiss upward to Kai’s neck, to kiss downward, down to the curve of Kai’s ass.  Kai’s pants were starting to slip down, revealing gray boxer-briefs, and Suho wanted to reach over and tug a little, just enough to expose more, just enough to see the rest of Kai’s underwear maybe.  Just enough to see Kai’s ass.  Kai’s firm, muscular ass.

“Faster, faster!” Sehun exclaimed.  “Hyung, what are you doing?”

“Don’t distract me,” Chanyeol said breathlessly.

“Wha, ahh, oh, I’m going to come,” Baekhyun said, squirming, grabbing up a fistful of Kai’s shirt.

“Yeah, yeah, let me see,” Kai said, his voice low and urgent.  He leaned against the back of the couch, lifting up enough for Suho to see even more of Baekhyun, that firm abdomen, those tiny nipples.  “Yeah, yeah, let’s see.”

Baekhyun moaned, turning his head and biting at Kai’s shoulder, his fingers digging into the cushion underneath him.  Kai’s hand was tight and quick on his cock, and Suho was sweating with desire, turned on enough to ache with every tug of Kai’s hand.  “Ahh, coming, I’m coming,” Baekhyun cried, and in a moment cum was spurting and splattering, wetting his stomach and dotting his chest.

The sudden sloppy show of it made Suho feel hunger like a physical need.  Rubbing his hand over his mouth, he tried to force his gaze away, but that fresh, sticky wetness on Baekhyun’s smooth, bare torso taunted him with the ferocity of his lust.  He had to taste it, it would be so good.  His mouth watered, and he couldn’t think of anything else.

Kai kissed Baekhyun, then lifted his hand to his mouth, licking it clean.  Baekhyun’s pink, softening cock was tempting, tantalizing, the head still wet with the last, oozing pearls of cum.  It was such a hauntingly erotic sight, Suho shoved at Sehun, needing to jump on top of Baekhyun, needing to run from the dorm.

“What?” Sehun asked, laughing and trying to shove him back down.  “Where are you trying to go, I’m comfortable.”

“I have to go,” he said, dumping Sehun half on top of Kai.  “I have to go to my room, there’s something I have to do.”  Feeling awkward and obvious and ashamed, mortified and rock-hard, he fled, feeling slow and clumsy with each step, as if he were flailing through molasses.  When he got to his room, Chen was there, so he grabbed up his tablet like he’d only come in to retrieve it, and he fled again.

He went into the bathroom this time, and ran cold water in the sink, and splashed his face until he stopped flinching from the chill.  Dripping, panting, he braced both hands on the sink.  He had to get a grip.  He had to get laid.  He had to get control over himself.  Realizing that he was mentally calculating how many nights until it was Baekhyun’s turn in his bed, he moaned under his breath, straightening, ashamed and furious with himself.  How could he do that, what was his problem?  He couldn’t count on Baekhyun coming to him, he couldn’t take his members for granted like that!  It made him feel like some predatory sleaze.  These were his members, not his harem!  If he started to think that way, then it was time to cut things off for good.

Feeling really horny and also grimly thoughtful, managing both to pore over memories of licking Baekhyun’s cock and firmly lecture himself, Suho went back to his room.  Chen was gone, but Sehun was there.  His brain helpfully reminded him that it was Sehun’s night to - - to what, to service him?  He wondered what the members called it.  Did they refer to it cheerfully?  Mockingly?  With dread?  Uncomfortable, he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Thanks for letting me sit in your lap earlier,” Sehun said, sitting down on Suho’s bed.  “Was it too obvious?  I just wanted to get a good view of Baekhyun hyung and Kai.  It’s so fun to watch Baekhyun hyung get off.  He wriggles around so much.”  He slid down and rolled onto his stomach.  “Can I sleep here tonight?”

He wanted to say no, to point out that Sehun had a perfectly nice bed, to point out that there were plenty of other places to sleep.  But by now it had been ingrained in him that it was his responsibility to accommodate his members, that sharing a bed was an important way to bond, that a leader’s bed should be a safe and welcoming place.  “Yes, of course.”  His heart immediately softening, he stepped nearer to the bed and caressed Sehun’s hair.  “Isn’t it too early for that?”

“Ah, I’m tired.”  Sehun pushed his shorts down, baring his ass.  A lithe twist, a shimmy, and a kick, and he was naked from the waist down.  Rolling onto his side, he folded one arm under his head, reaching down with his other hand and rubbing his fat balls.  “Suho hyung?  Can we close the door?”

Was the maknae trying to seduce him?  “You bold kid,” he said, locking the door.  “What do you think you’re up to?”

“Nothing.”  Pulling his shirt off, Sehun relaxed against Suho’s pillow.  “Your bed’s really comfortable.  Can you come here for a second?”

They were going to have sex tonight.  He knew it, and Sehun knew it, and there was no use pretending otherwise.  Sighing, embarrassed but amused, he walked over to stand beside the bed.  It was hard to know where to look; Sehun’s long, naked body was stretched out unselfconsciously right in front of him, everything on display.  Those narrow hips, those heavy balls.  Wanting to touch but not wanting to make an obscene grab, he put his hand on Sehun’s thigh.

Grasping his hand, Sehun pulled him onto the bed.  As he knelt astride Sehun’s lap, Sehun sat up, cupping his face and kissing him.  So sexy, so good, yes.  Oh, he was so horny.  Moaning, he kissed back, caressing Sehun’s bare sides as their tongues met and stroked.

“Will you stay up here?” Sehun whispered, squeezing his ass.  “Will you ride me a little?”

“God, no,” he breathed, his cheeks burning with embarrassment as he took another kiss.  “Don’t ask me that.”

“You’d be so hot on top.”  Sehun’s thumb whispered across his cheekbone as their lips brushed again and again.

“Don’t.”  Pushing Sehun down against the pillow again, he said, “Let me, let me do something for a minute.”  He reached back, fumbling for the sheet.

“Hyung, let me see you,” Sehun insisted, sitting up and trying to tug the sheet away from him.  “Just once.”

“Let go,” he scolded, pushing Sehun’s hands away.  “I’ve let you see plenty of things.  You’ll be okay without this.”

“Okay, it’s okay.  But, hyung.”  Sehun kissed him, and against his mouth, Sehun whispered, “Go slow, please?  I want to feel your mouth for a long time.”  Lust seared him, and he moaned, kissing Sehun again and again, stroking Sehun’s hard-on.  “I want to feel your hot spit dribbling all over my balls,” Sehun whispered.  “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

“Oh, god, maknae.”  He hugged Sehun just so he could hide his burning face, so that Sehun couldn’t see him.  He was so turned on, so ashamed, he didn’t know what to do.  What was wrong with the maknae, saying things like that!  Suho had become more forward, and now all of a sudden Sehun said things like that to him?  To his face?  What had he started, here?

He wondered if it might be true.  Sehun had expected to end up in his bed tonight.  Had Sehun been thinking about it?  Planning what they might do together?  Fantasizing about his mouth?  Embarrassed, lusting, he cleared his throat.  “Was there anything else?  Anything else you thought about?”

Sehun shifted sinuously against him.  “Well, if you want to know…”

EXO had an early night off, and most of the members were in the dorm together.  Seated on the floor in front of the couch, Chanyeol and Lay were making out again.  Suho had been on the couch with D.O. and Xiumin, watching a movie, when Chanyeol and Lay had come in to watch with them.  Now the movie was over, and they were starting to make familiar, aroused noises, and Suho didn’t know whether to stay or leave or watch or ignore it.  Was it too obvious if he stayed?  Would he look cowardly if he left?  It was okay to watch if they were just making out, wasn’t it?  This wasn’t lewd, it was just friendly.

            As the tip of Lay’s tongue stroked along the shell of Chanyeol’s ear, Chanyeol groaned, cupping Lay’s ass and pulling Lay into his lap.  “That’s it, hyung, yeah,” he panted.

            “It’s nice, isn’t it?” D.O. asked.  Surprised, Suho looked over at him, then looked at the TV screen, trying to figure out what he was talking about.  “Chanyeol hyung’s little quirks.  I like guys who know what they like.”

            Suho was used to his members discussing each other’s sexual habits.  But why was D.O. looking at him?  Like D.O. expected him to reply?

            “It’s great,” Xiumin agreed.  “Guys with easy buttons are fun to mess around with.  Great time, turning them on and keeping them going.”

            “Auuuhh.”  On Chanyeol’s lap, hips rolling, Lay wrapped his arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders, holding on as he moaned.  “Are you going to give me your cock?  Going to give me that big, hard cock, going to give me all of your meat?”

            “Yeah,” Chanyeol panted, kissing him.  “Yeah, I’ll give you all of it.”

            “Off, off, take it off,” Xiumin urged.  “I want to see everything.”

            “Yeah, yeah, show you everything,” Lay said, pulling his clothes off as if they were in the way, as if they were only a nuisance holding him back.  Naked, his muscles firm and round, he moved onto his back, in front of them at an angle.  While he pulled his knees up, Chanyeol fished under the couch for the lube.

            Suho should leave.  Should get up.  Should have walked away already.

            “Yeah.”  Xiumin propped his elbow on Suho’s shoulder, nibbling on the pad of his thumb.  “C’mon, show us some pink.”

            Suho blinked, scanning the ceiling for a moment, too embarrassed to look.  The sound of Lay’s happy moaning tugged on him, though, and Xiumin’s approving murmurs turned him on.  Xiumin made those sounds at him, when they were alone at night, and the very sound made him feel hot and prickly with need all over.

            “Yeah, that’s what I like to see,” Xiumin said.

            “God, hyung, can I go in yet?” Chanyeol asked.

            “Go in slow,” Xiumin said.  “Nice and slow, show off that cock.”

            This time, when Lay moaned, Suho had to look.  Oh, god.  Lay was hugging his knee to his chest, and Chanyeol was easing in slowly, rocking back and forth over the same inches, gradually nudging inward.  The way Lay’s slick asshole hugged Chanyeol’s turgid shaft made Suho hot with desire.  He could imagine how that felt to Lay, could remember the feel of Chanyeol pressing into him, and those short little thrusts looked incredible.

            “Ah, oh,” D.O. said.  Squirming, he snuggled in closer on Suho’s other side, hugging Suho’s arm.  “Oh, that looks nice.”

            “Yeah, it does,” Xiumin said with knowing smugness.  “Yeah, tease that hot ass, don’t give it to him until he’s begging for it.”

            “I want it, I want it,” Lay said immediately.

            “Ah, hyung, I have to move more than this,” Chanyeol panted.  As he rocked in deep, burying himself in Lay, Suho shuddered.

            Staring at Chanyeol’s long thrust, remembering exactly what it felt like to feel Chanyeol’s cock stroke deep inside of him, Suho bit his lower lip.  He wanted that, yes, he wanted to see more of that.  Ah, there it was, Chanyeol was moving again, rocking, taking Lay in long, driving thrusts.  Oh, mmm, yes, yes, Suho shouldn’t be watching this but couldn’t look away.

            “Aw, you can beg better than that,” Xiumin muttered petulantly.

            “Yes, unh, give me that meat, hit it hard,” Lay panted, his knees up around Chanyeol’s ribs.  “Deeper, deeper, fill me up.”

            The way Chanyeol was thrusting, his hips rocking steadily, so deep and rhythmic, had Suho’s body feeling hot and urgent.  Suho wanted to be in Lay’s place, wanted to offer to be next in line.  The way their bodies had shifted, it was harder to see Chanyeol’s cock at this angle, but the roll and snap of his hips had Suho squirming, asshole contracting hungrily.

            “Huuuhhh.”  D.O. grimaced, shifting uncomfortably, and rested his cheek against Suho’s shoulder.

            Xiumin glanced past Suho to D.O., grinning.  “How hard is Little D.O. right now?”

            “So hard,” he admitted.  “Don’t tease me.”

            Suho couldn’t stand the intimacy of them on either side of him, touching him, talking about this.  He’d never been included in the moment like this, never been a part of their sex lives in this particular way.  It was arousing to sit there as they watched, as they acknowledged what was going on, as Xiumin directed the action and D.O. confessed to being turned on.

            “Ah, there, hit it like that, hit it again, ah!  Coming, I’m coming, uuunnnggh!”  Lay’s fist worked fast over his cock as he came.

            Xiumin was undoing his own pants.  As he exposed his thick, leaking erection, Suho’s gut clenched.  It looked so handsome, so sexy, Suho felt feverish with the desire to taste it.  “Come on, Park, get yours or get out, I’m ready for my turn.”

            Realizing that he was licking his lips, Suho jerked his gaze away, staring at the wall, the floor, Chanyeol’s taut ass, anywhere but at Xiumin’s erection.

            “Guunnh, auhh, hold on, almost there,” Chanyeol panted.

            “I’m so turned on right now,” D.O. said.  He sounded thrilled and amazed.

            “Come inside of me, pour that cream deep in my ass,” Lay urged, tugging on Chanyeol’s earlobe.

            “That’s it, Chanyeol oppa, give it a good finish,” Xiumin crooned.

            “Shit,” Chanyeol said, gasping and falling still over Lay, muscles locking as he came.  Lay moaned, caressing his back, and D.O. squirmed, grunting.

            “Tag me in,” Xiumin said.  As Chanyeol climbed off of Lay, he hopped off of the couch, handing Chanyeol a cloth.

            “Yeah, I’ll take it again,” Lay said, reaching for Xiumin.

            As Chanyeol wiped off, looking flushed and smiling goofily, Xiumin crawled onto Lay.  “Unh, ahhmm,” he said, easing his erection right inside.  “So hot and wet.  Feels like Chanyeol already had a good time in here.”

            “Yeah, slide around in his cum,” Lay urged, cupping Xiumin’s ass and pulling him deeper.  “Slosh that sauce around.”

            “Chanyeol hyung,” D.O. said.  “Can I see it?”

            “Sure,” Chanyeol said, running his hand through his hair.  “See what?”  His expression bright, he laughed.  “That?”  He glanced down at his own softening cock.  “It’s not doing anything anymore.”

            D.O. reached out, anyway.  Chanyeol stood up, putting a knee on the couch’s armrest, his crotch right there.  Suho’s gaze flickered over the familiar, handsome terrain: his lean thighs, the density of his black pubes, his taut abs.  His long, satiny cock and pink balls.  Every inch of Chanyeol was so good-looking, all over.

            Suho bit his lip, restraining himself, as D.O. lightly fondled Chanyeol’s cock.  Chanyeol made a soft, tormented sound, shifting his weight, as D.O. toyed with the head and stroked the shaft.  “Ah, okay, I can’t, uh, shit,” Chanyeol said, laughing and bouncing onto his toes, clinging to the couch.  “Sensitive, it’s sensitive, wait.”

            On the floor, Xiumin and Lay were rolling around, egging each other on, Lay on top now.

            “I kind of like this,” D.O. decided, stroking the lines of Chanyeol’s pelvis.

            Suho liked a lot of things.  Sex, for one.  A lot of sex.  Deep, intense sex that-

Suho’s phone rang.  Relieved, he gasped, grabbing for it like it was a lifeline.  “Yes, this is, I have to take this,” he said to no one, to anyone.  Hopping over Xiumin and Lay, he raced out of the room, limping and stumbling.  “Yes, hello?” he asked breathlessly, making it into his room before he doubled over, wincing.  The deep, aching throb of his cock was making him light-headed.

“Hyung,” L’s voice said in his ear, lazy and knowing.  “Why do you sound like that?”

“Practice.  Exercise.  We’ve been working out.  I’m, it’s nothing,” he said.  He dragged his hand through his hair, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes.  “What do you need?”

“You should come over,” L said.  “We can work out together.”

He wondered what L looked like naked.  What L’s erection would feel like inside of him.  “I can’t go across town to work out with you when I have so many members to exercise with here.”

            “They can exercise with each other.  It’s good for you to work out with new people once in a while.  Get a change in your routine.”

            “I can’t.  I don’t remember why I can’t, but I had some really good reason.  Be nice to hyung and stop asking.”

            “There’s not someone else, is there?  Someone else you’re exercising with?  You aren’t going to pick up a new fitness trainer?” L asked.  “Besides Changjo, I know all about Changjo.”

            “No.  There’s no one else.  Do you think that I have time for someone else?” he asked, laughing at the thought.  “Between EXO and EXO-L and my two favorite dongsaengs, I’m too busy to tie my own shoes anymore.”

            “Just promise that when you’re ready to try a new fitness routine, you’ll talk to me first,” L said.  “Before other people.”

            L meant before Changjo.  But Suho couldn’t make that promise.  Wincing, he bit his lip, trying to figure out what to say.

            “Ah.”  L laughed.  “It’s like that?”

            “No,” he said quickly, guilt twinging in his chest.  “No, there’s nothing like that.  It’s just…  If things ever changed, if things were ever different…  I love him, and I wouldn’t want to hurt him.”

            “You love him.”  Suho could almost see L’s expression, the smile he wore when he was hurt and trying to get through it, dimple showing, sadness in his eyes.  “You don’t love me.”

            “L-goon,” he said, dismayed, pushing away from the wall.  “Of course I love you.  Hyung’s always loved you.  Haven’t I told you?”  Maybe he hadn’t.  He searched his memory, but he couldn’t remember saying it.  “My heart isn’t so small that I can’t love both of you at once.”

            “Okay.”  L’s voice was shy.  “I love you, too.  I know that I sound selfish, but I want things to be right for you.”

            “Thank you, dongsaeng-ah.”  Sitting on his bed, he leaned back, drawing his knees up.  “Should we meet sometime this week?  Are you busy?”

            “Oh, I’m not allowed to make eye contact, but Chanyeol hyung can shove his crotch in his face?” Sehun demanded.

            “I didn’t shove my crotch in his face,” Chanyeol objected, surprised.  He laughed, eyes sparkling.  “I shoved it in D.O.’s face, but he asked for it.”

            D.O., standing guard by the practice room door and peering out through the glass panel to watch the hallway, smiled.

            “I think it went okay,” Lay said.  “I was kind of busy-”

Xiumin nudged Lay, waggling his eyebrows, and Lay laughed.

“-but it seemed like he liked it.  He stayed for a while, anyway.”

“We kind of had him surrounded, but he didn’t have to say anything or do anything,” Chanyeol said.  “So he was like a part of it, but he didn’t have to interact if he didn’t want to.  I think that made him feel more okay with it?” he guessed.

“Let’s try it again soon,” Chen said.  “Tomorrow night?”

They sketched out plans, bargaining over who would sit with Suho and who would commit which sexual acts in front of him.  They were trying to decide what to say and how to move and what would be too far, when D.O. said, “Incoming, incoming,” and scurried away from the door.  While Kai slung a casual arm around D.O., the door opened.

“Hey,” Suho said, walking in.  “Everyone ready to start?”

Baekhyun laughed, happily and nervously, Chen laughed and smacked at Baekhyun, hugging him, and Sehun cleared his throat, moving in to ask Suho a distracting question.  While Sehun turned Suho’s back to the room, Lay and Xiumin high-fived.

Wrapping his arm around Kai’s waist, D.O. watched Chanyeol lean over to stretch.  He smiled to himself.

“Yeah?” Kai asked him, kissing his cheek.  “You want some of that later?”

“Mmm.  Maybe.”  D.O. smiled at Kai.  “I want some of you, first.”

Series page: "Let's Love"

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Copyright January 10, 2015
by Matthew Haldeman-Time