I write about men having sex with other men. You must be eighteen or older to read my fiction. This site is for consenting, responsible adults only.
Warm sunlight streamed through the café’s windows. Outside, Angels and Starlights waited.
Inside, N checked his watch. “Aish.”
L.Joe’s eyebrows went up. “You have to go?”
“Ugh, yeah.” N offered an apologetic smile. “I have rowdy members waiting for me.”
L.Joe chuckled. “And they’re telling their friends, ‘Aish, I have a bossy leader waiting for me.’”
N gasped, pretending to be affronted. “They’d better not!”
L.Joe chuckled again and drained his cup. As they got up, he flipped his hair out of his eyes. “Maybe we can meet again.”
“Yeah.” N’s smile was happy and a little shy. “I’ll call you.”
L.Joe bit his lip and grinned. “I’ll look forward to it.”
Days later, L.Joe stopped by VIXX’s waiting room. He flirted with Ravi, which went really well, and he flirted with Leo, which was totally amazing and awkward, and he flirted with N, which was really easy. When N suggested that they meet for dinner sometime, he immediately agreed. “But just us, right? If you can get away.”
“Oh, I don’t even know these people,” N said with a dismissive laugh. “How’s Wednesday?”
Wednesday. Sehun day. L.Joe licked his lips, savoring it. He was already anticipating the snugness of his collar, already looking forward to being on his knees. “Ah, I can’t, Wednesday. Thursday?”
L.Joe saw N a few more times after that. It wasn’t serious, just some flirting, some sparks. He got the feeling that N was taking it slowly on purpose; N was very committed to being an idol and felt very responsible for VIXX, and wasn’t willing to take a lot of risks. But they hung out backstage, and they went out when they were both free, and they both had a good time.
One night, they had plans to catch a movie. He was about to hop in the shower when Chunji called, “Ya! L.Joe!”
“What!” he yelled back, pulling off his shirt.
“So bring it to me!”
“Get over here or I’m hanging up!”
Who would call him on Chunji’s phone, anyway? “Who is it?”
“Hanging up now!”
“Asshole,” he muttered. Going out to the front room, he pounced right on top of Chunji on the couch, knocking Chunji over and grabbing the phone. “Yes?” he demanded.
“L.Joe, it’s Suho hyung.”
Oh! “Hyung?” Licking his lips, he felt weirdly…obedient. So embarrassing! He always had to shake off the impulse to submit to Sehun’s leader.
“Chunji said that you’re busy tonight, and I don’t want to interrupt your plans. So if it’s not convenient, you can tell me. But our shooting was rescheduled, and Sehun’s free tonight. I can bring him over to see you, if you’d like that.”
What? “Now?” he asked, breathless, his chest tight. So suddenly!
“Yes, in about an hour, maybe less. But if you’re busy-”
“Not busy,” he said immediately, hurriedly. “I’m not busy, really, hyung. Tonight’s good, it’s great tonight.”
“Okay. We’ll be there in about an hour, then.”
“Yes. Thank you.” Stunned, he melted off of Chunji, sitting back against the cushions. He had to take a moment to process this. Sehun was coming over. That night! In an hour! God, Oh Sehun? He hadn’t expected another visit for weeks!
Chunji took the phone from his hand. “Poor N hyung.”
“I know. Shit.” He nibbled on his lower lip, feeling a twinge of guilt. It wasn’t a huge twinge of guilt, since his emotions were really wrapped up in rejoicing and anticipating Sehun. Still, “What am I going to tell him?” he wondered, meeting Chunji’s eyes.
“You could always tell him that your ass master is coming over to tie you up, so you can’t make it.”
In between fighting with Chunji and showering for Sehun’s visit, he called N. “I’m sorry, hyung, I thought that I could make it tonight. I won’t be able to go, I have a meeting.”
“We can’t meet?”
“Not tonight. I’m sorry. It’s sudden.”
“I understand. It happens sometimes, right? Maybe another time.”
He felt bad about it; it was already difficult enough to coordinate their free time. But all thoughts of N fled his mind as soon as Sehun walked through that door.
Chanyeol had to stop by the KBS building. Sehun hopped out of the van and went in with him. “Meet me in ten minutes,” Chanyeol said.
“Sure,” he said, already walking away.
“I mean it,” Chanyeol said. “Ya! Don’t make me wait for you!”
“Got it!” he called back, speeding up. Seconds later, he was walking into Teen Top’s dressing room.
“Hi,” Niel said.
“What are you doing here?” Changjo asked.
“Hi,” he said. His gaze swept the room once, twice, but he didn’t see what he was looking for. “Where’s L.Joe sunbaenim?”
“We left him at home,” Ricky said.
“Dropped him off by the side of the road,” Chunji said.
“L.Joe who?” Niel asked.
C.A.P. chuckled at that, then said, “He went to talk to VIXX. Next door over.”
He really wanted to see L.Joe; it felt like an imperative, like a need in his blood. But he couldn’t just burst in on L.Joe in some other idol’s dressing room. Especially when L.Joe didn’t even know that he was in the building and wouldn’t be at all braced for the sight of him. Exercising self-control, he sat down to wait.
“You know about him and N hyung, right?” Changjo asked.
He should’ve sat beside someone else. “What about them?”
“They’ve been hanging out.”
Okay. “L.Joe sunbaenim knows a lot of idols. He has a lot of friends.”
“Is that, like…” Niel made a confused face. “How does that work? He says that things aren’t…” He cupped both hands around his mouth, then whispered, “Romantic.” Lowering his hands, he continued, “Not that way with you. But is he allowed to have, you know, allowed to see people?”
“He’s allowed to do whatever he wants,” Sehun said.
“You don’t care?” Chunji asked. His expression was alert.
Sehun didn’t want to say the wrong thing here, but it was no big deal, in his own mind. “It’s not like I don’t care what happens to him.” That was a huge understatement. The better they knew each other, the longer their relationship lasted, the more protective he felt. L.Joe was his, and he had trouble convincing himself that ended when the collar came off. “But he can do what he wants. It’s his life, it’s his private time.” L.Joe hyung was his pet, but L.Joe sunbae was completely independent, and could make friends with - - or date - - anyone at all.
He wondered if this thing with N was serious, and if Teen Top was trying to make sure that he wouldn’t get pissed off if L.Joe had a boyfriend. N? Well, L.Joe did like hyungs. It always amused him to think about that. It was fascinating, not to be his own pet’s type. He grinned. “N hyung’s kind of tall for him, isn’t he?”
Changjo snickered. “I’m so telling him that you said that,” Niel said. “Witness,” he ordered Ricky. “You’re my witness.”
Sehun stayed and hung out for a few more minutes, talking with Niel. After a while, without warning, L.Joe walked in. He was a couple of steps into the room before he saw Sehun, and then he froze. He looked stunned, and it was a good thing that no one else was around, because his expression was lustful and undeniably reverent. He just stood there for a moment, breathing, staring at Sehun like all of his passionate, desperate dreams had come true.
Sehun needed to touch him. Really needed to reach for him. To establish dominance and control. To grip a handful of his soft, silky hair just hard enough to make his eyes close in pure bliss while a pained shudder ran through his body. He needed to be owned, and Sehun ached to take over.
He licked his lips, looking shy, thrilled, scattered, overwhelmed. “Hoobae.”
“Sunbaenim,” Sehun said, bowing slightly.
“You.” L.Joe pushed Ricky off of the nearest chair and sat down, his elbows on his knees. “You’re here?”
“That’s my chair!” Ricky protested. Changjo pulled Ricky down onto his lap.
“Chanyeol hyung had to sign something here, and I wanted to see you.” Sehun wished that everyone else would leave. “You look so handsome.” So fucking sexy. So adorable. He devoured L.Joe with his gaze, cataloguing all of the spots he wanted to touch. The bare skin at L.Joe’s wrist fascinated him. He wanted to wrap a rope around it and slowly, slowly draw it tight.
“Handsome,” L.Joe repeated softly. His smile was bashful.
“How’ve you been?” Sehun asked.
“I’ve been okay.” His gaze kept flickering up and down, here and there, all over Sehun. Never away from Sehun entirely.
“Tell him about where you went last night,” Chunji said.
“What?” He looked confused and distracted for a moment. “Oh. I went out with N hyung, we had dinner. It was late, we couldn’t stay out long.”
The Teen Top members were really pushing this N thing. Did N mean more to L.Joe than he’d realized? “N hyung’s a good guy.”
“Mmm.” L.Joe stared somewhere around the center of Sehun’s chest, fingering the rip in the knee of his jeans. “C.A.P. hyung has that shirt. Angel gave it to him. It looks so much better on you.”
He laughed. “Thanks.” The longer L.Joe was in the room, the more relaxed he felt. The more L.Joe openly revered him, the more in control he felt, of his pet and of himself. His phone rang, and he handed it to Ricky. “Tell Chanyeol hyung that I’ll be there in a minute.” Wanting to keep talking to his pet, he leaned forward and asked simple questions about Teen Top’s schedule and the performance. He spoke very respectfully, playing an innocent hoobae to put L.Joe at ease. It took a lot of self-discipline not to stare at L.Joe’s sexy mouth, but the more polite he was, the more confident and comfortable L.Joe grew.
Eventually he knew that he couldn’t put off leaving any longer. “It was good to see you, sunbaenim.”
“You’re still going to be at the festival next week?”
He nodded. “Yes, sunbaenim, we’ll be there.”
“Good.” L.Joe finally glanced away from him. What happened next was lightning-quick; in what seemed like one single move, L.Joe frowned, snatched up his phone, and cuffed the side of Changjo’s head. “Ya! What do you think you’re doing?”
“What?” Changjo asked with an innocent chuckle. “Nothing.”
L.Joe punched Changjo again, then went from disgusted and menacing to solicitous in a blink, offering Sehun’s phone. “Sorry.”
“Thanks.” Pocketing his phone, he bowed. “I’ll see you next week, then, sunbaenim.”
“Next week,” L.Joe agreed.
He hated leaving. He wanted to take L.Joe with him. His pet should be wherever he wanted, at his whim, at his convenience.
A few feet from Teen Top’s dressing room, he ran into VIXX. Everyone said hi, and he took an extra look at N, curious. He liked N, and their teams had always gotten along well. He wouldn’t have chosen N for L.Joe, himself, but he couldn’t say who he would’ve tried to pair L.Joe up with, instead. He wondered what N thought of L.Joe.
He felt so protective, he wished that he had the right to vet L.Joe’s boyfriends. Not that he thought that L.Joe would choose bad guys, just, he really wanted the authority to approve or reject boyfriends. He couldn’t stand the idea of his pet with someone who didn’t appreciate exactly how amazing L.Joe was.
Everyone else was having sex in the front room. L.Joe had felt himself getting overwhelmed and had needed to step away for a minute, so he was in EXO’s kitchen, slowly opening drawers, one after another. He’d started off opening cabinets to distract himself, and then he’d started looking for snacks, and then he’d gotten curious about how his owner lived, and now he was taking his time, memorizing the contents of each drawer. This was Sehun’s kitchen. These were the measuring spoons that Sehun used. He wondered if Sehun ever actually used them, though. What would Sehun measure?
He heard a soft sound behind him, a discreet cough. Sehun. His owner was here. Carefully, he pushed the last drawer closed.
“You all right?” Sehun asked politely, conversationally.
“Yeah.” He turned partway around, peeking out of the corner of his eye. Sehun had underwear on, at least. Black boxer-briefs. The urge to be on his knees, nuzzling black cotton, rubbing his nose against Sehun’s balls and inhaling his owner’s heavy musk, was so intense that he turned away again, struggling to fight it.
“Do you want something to drink?”
“No.” He opened the second drawer from the left again. “Do you use these?”
“Use what?” Sehun asked, opening the fridge.
Sehun laughed. “No. Do you use them in your dorm?”
“God, don’t ask about that.” Closing the drawer again, he tried to face Sehun. He got halfway there and winced. “It was a while ago. We wanted to see who came the most, who had the most, you know. We tried to get off and catch it in the spoons to measure it. We just made a mess, we’re so stupid.”
“Shit, you’re kidding!” Sehun said, laughing. “Who won?”
“It was just four of us, not the maknaes. I won, but they said that I cheated, since I came twice.”
“Your dorm’s fun,” Sehun said, and when L.Joe risked a glance at his face, he was smiling. “I like Teen Top’s games.”
L.Joe wanted to get closer to him, to stand nearer. To touch. It was such a thrilling, terrifying, erotic thing, to touch Sehun. Every time he did it, he felt like he was getting away with something amazing.
Slowly, moving like he didn’t really care, Sehun strolled around the island. Stopping beside L.Joe, he leaned back against the counter, his elbows resting on it, one knee bent. He looked incredibly long, all sharp angles and lean lines. “I was thinking about something. Not that you care what my opinion is, I’m just a silly hoobae. But what do you think about dating L sunbae?”
There were fading scratches on Sehun’s ribcage. L.Joe needed to know who’d done that. “L hyung?” He couldn’t get his brain to understand what Sehun was talking about. He wished that he could touch. He could, though; this was just some silly hoobae, he could touch if he wanted.
“If you want to date or get a boyfriend. I think that it should be someone like L sunbae. Someone who’s really handsome and talks about making love. Someone who gets protective and would take care of you.”
Puzzled, he smiled. Foolish hoobae. “L hyung already has a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, but he’d dump Changjo for you.”
Laughing, he finally met Sehun’s eyes. “He would?”
Sehun’s smile was so affectionate, he felt like a spotlight had just landed on him. “Anybody would, for you.”
He didn’t know what to do when Sehun flirted with him like this. He felt giddy; he was super embarrassed, to hear these compliments from his owner! Loving it, he blushed. More sure of himself now, he touched Sehun’s side, but he did it very lightly, just the barest brush of fingertips. Beside the scratches, not over them.
Sehun shifted slightly, a subtle motion, giving him more access. His heart pounded. His owner was letting him touch. God, he wanted to put his mouth on Sehun’s skin, wanted to taste. “How are things with you and N hyung?”
“L hyung, N hyung, are you working your way through the letters?” Sehun snickered like a foolish hoobae. Like a maknae. He couldn’t believe that his owner was someone’s maknae. Now that he could feel Sehun’s smooth, taut skin under his fingertips, he didn’t want to stop. He drew a meandering line down towards Sehun’s hip. He wondered what Sehun thought about him and N. “I don’t know. We’ve talked a couple of times lately, but…”
“Just talked?” Sehun asked, sounding amused. “I thought that it was a lot more than just talking.”
“We didn’t have sex!” he exclaimed, embarrassed. “We just saw each other a few times. We hung out.” Nibbling on his lower lip, he traced the line of Sehun’s pelvic bone. Being this close, being able to explore Sehun’s body like this, turned him on so much that he felt completely absorbed, his gaze riveted, his cock aching.
“You’re not dating?”
“I don’t think that I can date.”
“It’s hard, especially between idols, but if you like him, you can try. Is he the kind of hyung you like?”
Surprised that Sehun had misunderstood, he looked up, into Sehun’s brown eyes. “No, I mean, I can’t date anybody. Not because I’m an idol, because of you.”
Sehun looked taken aback. “Me?”
Glancing towards the door, he made sure that no one was lurking around. He met Sehun’s eyes again, then dropped his gaze. His fingertip circled Sehun’s navel. There was nothing in the world as captivating or erotic as Sehun’s long, narrow body. “I don’t have time for…” He almost said, “other guys,” but that seemed too much like lumping Sehun in with random idols, and Sehun was too significant for that. “I don’t have time for guys. For a boyfriend.”
“You had time to see N hyung.”
“I can see somebody once in a while. To hang out or talk or grab dinner. But it can’t be anything more than that. It wouldn’t be fair. Everything I do, Teen Top has to come first. And then there’s you. You always say that I’m a priority for you, right? You’re a priority for me, too.”
“We’re not together all of the time. You shouldn’t give up on dating just because of that.”
“But what kind of relationship is that? Any time Oh Sehun calls, I’ll cancel everything. I can ask someone to respect that when it comes to Teen Top, it’s not great but they’ll understand it. I can’t ask someone to understand always coming in second to you.”
“If he cares about you, he’ll understand it.”
“Would you get a boyfriend? Would you date?” He raised his gaze to Sehun’s eyes again.
Slowly, Sehun shook his head. “I can’t. I’d never risk neglecting you. I can’t take on any more commitments that might get in the way.”
Then he understood it exactly. “Anyone I date, if it’s another idol, he’ll have his own schedules. When he has time to see me, he’ll want me to be there, with him. Ditching him if you call me, it seems like too much to ask. He might be understanding this time or that time, but every time? And unless my boyfriend is one of your members, I can’t tell him everything, anyway. He’ll want to know who I’m seeing and what’s going on, and what can I say, that I have a secret sex life he can’t know about? Lying, that’s no way to start a relationship.”
Sehun looked troubled, frowning down at L.Joe, tucking his lips in. Finally, he said, “I don’t like this. It’s no good this way, it’s not right that you can’t have a boyfriend just because of me.”
“You don’t have a boyfriend because of me,” he pointed out.
“That’s my choice. You’re my responsibility.”
“Then it’s my choice, too.”
“You should have a personal life. You should date and have boyfriends.”
“I have plenty of sex and plenty of friends.”
“You should have love, too. You deserve it. Don’t you want to be in love with somebody?”
He didn’t know that he wasn’t in love with somebody. It was just kind of complicated and easier to leave vague. “Who’s the sunbae here? Worry about yourself.”
Sehun still looked troubled.
Tucking his hands behind himself, he drifted away a step or two. He hadn’t meant to make Sehun feel bad. What if Sehun decided that their relationship was interfering too much, and that he needed a boyfriend more than he needed an owner? He tried to squash those thoughts, tried to stamp them down like a bug, but he started to feel sick, tendrils of anxiety snaking through him.
“You could try dating one of my members,” Sehun suggested.
Immediately feeling better, he snorted.
“Or one of yours.”
The word “fuck” came out of him in an explosion of laughter.
“What?” Sehun asked, laughing with him. “It’s a good idea! It solves the problem, doesn’t it?”
“I’d rather date a blow-up doll than one of my members.”
“It solves everything! Who do you want? You can date Baekhyun hyung, and I’ll date Niel.”
“Niel?!” Never! “He’s not good enough for you!”
“You like Baekhyun hyung, right? He’s a hyung, he’s - - I don’t know, is he good-looking? Do you think so? If he’s your type-”
“He’s better-looking than Niel!” L.Joe couldn’t get past the idea of Niel and Sehun together. It was too disgusting; he couldn’t take it.
“N hyung was too tall for you, anyway,” Sehun said.
“Ya! What are you saying?” he demanded.
Eyeing L.Joe, Sehun ran his hand through the air just above L.Joe’s head. “Maybe you should try Xiumin hyung.”
Had it been anyone else, he would’ve shoved Sehun away, but he couldn’t just push his almost-naked owner. Embarrassed, he glanced down at his feet. So annoying to be barefoot in front of Sehun all of the time. “I don’t have to date anyone.” Looking up at Sehun again, he frowned. “And if you date somebody, it had better be someone better than Niel. At least be with someone sexy.”
Sehun grinned at him. “I already have someone sexy.”
Who - - oh. Relishing the compliment, he felt himself blush.
Sehun’s expression turned serious again. “I’m sorry that I’ve made it inconvenient for you. I don’t want to get in the way of other parts of your life.”
He shook his head, not liking the way Sehun saw the situation. “You’ve only made things better. I don’t have any regrets when it comes to you. The only thing I want to change is that I want to see you more. But you can’t apologize for anything, I don’t like it.”
Sehun nodded. “Then if it’s like this, I’ll take my responsibility even more seriously, okay? I’ll take good care of you, sunbaenim. I’ll make up for anything I’ve been lacking.”
He needed to - - he just - - he reached up, threading his fingers through Sehun’s hair, and pulled Sehun down to his mouth. Groaning, he kissed Sehun hungrily, licking his way into Sehun’s mouth, feeling determined and turned on and demanding. “Need you to fuck me,” he whispered, leaning back and dragging Sehun closer. It felt so good to be caught between the island and Sehun’s body, he moaned. “Need you to tie me up and fuck me so, so hard, mmmmm, need it.”
“Okay, sunbaenim, okay,” Sehun said, sounding breathless.
He wanted to be gagged and groveling and helpless under Sehun’s command. His need for it was deep and physical and compelling. “Say ‘television,’ say it,” he whispered. He still had a hand buried in Sehun’s hair, because he could, because he was allowed to touch this hoobae however he wanted. “Tell me to go your room and wait for you.”
“Mmm.” Cupping his face, Sehun broke their kiss. While Sehun looked into his eyes, he looked right back.
This chic, handsome idol, this whiny, giggly maknae, this polite hoobae, this hot, confident guy, whoever Sehun was, L.Joe would do anything to be with him. No one else could compare; no one else stood a chance.
A slow blink, and then a small, knowing smile. Sexy and unbearably handsome, Sehun rubbed his thumb over L.Joe’s lower lip. “Television.” It was a suggestive whisper, erotic and dangerous, and L.Joe shuddered, completely under his spell. “Go to my room and close the door. Do push-ups until I get there. I’ll be there whenever I feel like it, to do whatever I want.”
Bliss descended onto him, and he felt completely at ease. Sehun was in control. “Yes, Sehun-ah.” Captive, he waited until Sehun’s hand dropped, until Sehun let go of him. And then, obediently, he went to do Sehun’s bidding.
May 6, 2016
by Matthew Haldeman-Time