Between Members #1
|Debut: 2011, H2 Media (first group to debut under H2
Media, a company started by Hwanhee from Fly to the Sky)
Fan club: MyGirl
|Name||Real name||Birth date||Role|
|Insoo||Kang Insoo||March 10, 1988||lead vocal|
|Gunwoo||Lee Gunwoo||January 30, 1989||leader, main vocal|
|Seyong||Kim Seyong||November 20, 1991||dancer, lead rapper|
|JunQ||Kang Jungyu||August 9, 1993||main rapper|
|Chaejin||Chae Jinseok||December 26, 1995||maknae|
After all of the years of training, being punted from one company to another, working and hoping and trying his best, he was finally going to debut. Three days! It was so close he could almost touch it. They’d recorded the songs, they’d learned the choreography, they’d been photographed. Their stage outfits were ready. They’d even had their idol makeovers. They were ready.
Seyong felt ready. He felt prepared. He’d wanted this for so long, it almost didn’t feel real, and he wasn’t going to trust it, really believe in it, until he was onstage and the lights were up and the fans were cheering. But he felt like it was finally time, finally his turn. Their turn. He was glad to be in Myname. Of all of the people he’d trained with, he was glad to be debuting with these members. He liked them. He loved them, he trusted them. They were good friends and they were talented members and he was so, so proud of them.
It was almost four in the morning when their manager took them back to the dorm for the night. Seyong was hungry, but there wasn’t much to eat, so he guzzled water and took a shower. The exhaustion of his overworked muscles was catching up with him. Stumbling out of the bathroom, he crawled into his bunk and fell asleep, oblivious to the noise and motion of the other members around him.
He didn’t know how much time passed before he felt someone shaking him awake. Confused, not sure what time it was or even what day it was, he sat up, rubbing at his face with both hands. “Hey,” Gunwoo was saying. “Let’s talk.”
Gunwoo was his leader now, so instead of shoving his head under his pillow and trying to go back to sleep, he got up. Once he was standing, he realized that he felt better. Having cleaned up and gotten some rest, he actually felt human again. Looking around the room, he saw only Gunwoo and Insoo. “Where are the kids?”
The room held two bunks and Gunwoo’s bed; Gunwoo tugged at his hand, and as he sat down, Insoo sat on his other side by the head of the bed. “They fell asleep on the couch,” Insoo said, gesturing to the closed bedroom door. “This isn’t about them.”
“It is about them,” Gunwoo said. “A little.” He licked his lips, held Insoo’s gaze for a second, and smiled at Seyong. “You know how it is between members.”
“Yeah,” he said, wondering what Gunwoo was talking about. What was going on? Was everything okay with the kids?
Gunwoo chuckled and smiled at Insoo. “He doesn’t get it.”
“I don’t get it,” Seyong admitted, laughing.
Insoo grinned and leaned closer. Then Insoo’s hand was cupping his jaw, fingers gliding over his skin, and the way Insoo was smiling at him was sending sparks of electricity down his spine, and suddenly he knew what they were talking about.
Oh. Yes. That. “Ah,” he said, smiling nervously, unable to look away from the sexual flirtation in Insoo’s eyes or the gorgeously sensual curves of Insoo’s mouth. “How it is. Between members.”
Insoo chuckled, caressing his chin for a moment before sitting back again. “You understand.”
Blushing, Seyong rubbed his chin and glanced at Gunwoo. This was the one part of debuting that none of them had talked about. Seyong had tried not to think about it too much, but it was on his mind most of the time, anyway. He’d often wondered if Chaejin wanted to have sex with him and what JunQ liked. He wished that he could mess around with Insoo and Gunwoo. Insoo’s strong body was all muscular curves, and Seyong had spent a lot of time over the past few weeks watching Insoo’s confident, graceful, self-assured moves and wanting to rub his face against Insoo’s muscular back. Insoo’s mouth was so amazing, Seyong had trouble not reaching out and touching it just to feel the shape of it for himself.
Gunwoo was so strange that Seyong was fascinated by the idea of this guy being in authority over him for every single day of his life for years to come. Gunwoo’s long, slender body turned him on, and whenever he had a rare moment to himself to masturbate in peace he kept imagining Gunwoo watching him with those big, dark eyes and that odd, alien stare of curiosity. The idea of Gunwoo looking at him - - touching him, even, stroking a hand up his bare thigh - - got him off quickly and intensely.
He was attracted to Insoo and Gunwoo. Really, very, much too attracted. Maybe because they were so confident, so sure of themselves. It was enough to make him wish, sometimes, that things were switched around some, that he was the maknae. Part of the unspoken rules was that it was the dongsaengs’ responsibility to take care of their hyungs’ needs, and it was the hyungs’ responsibility not to take advantage too much. Insoo and Gunwoo would probably ask Chaejin and JunQ to do whatever they wanted to be done - - Seyong wasn’t sure exactly how far they would go - - but since Seyong fell right in the middle, he was too old to be asked. He’d probably just ask the kids for a little attention now and then, and mess around with them, and make sure they had a good time. He’d probably never do any of the more, um, intense sexual things he fantasized about with Insoo and Gunwoo, but maybe, after they debuted, when they were more used to getting off with the kids, he could get away with things like running his hands over Insoo’s firm, muscular, naked ass.
Gunwoo folded his legs up, loosely hugging his knees. “The kids are pretty young. They’re still in school and we don’t want them to feel burdened. We already ask for a lot from them, and they have a lot of responsibilities.”
What did that mean? Seyong looked from Gunwoo to Insoo and back. “Then you’re not going to…? You don’t want to…?”
“I don’t think we should,” Insoo said. “They’re too young for it.”
It was like the death of a dream. Even if he couldn’t have sex with his hyungs, himself, it had meant a lot to him that they’d be having sex near him, around him. If Gunwoo messed around with Chaejin, and Seyong messed around with Chaejin, then it was almost like Gunwoo was messing around with Seyong. Sort of. He’d needed this to happen; he’d been looking forward to it. No, more than that; he’d been counting on it. Once sex was introduced into the group’s dynamic, it wouldn’t seem as strange if someone caught him staring too much while Gunwoo changed clothes or caught him getting turned on when Insoo spent most of the day only half-dressed or caught him whispering his hyungs’ names while he was jacking off. And those things were going to happen. Those things already did happen, and it was getting harder and harder to explain them away.
He didn’t want to seem like some horny creep, though, so he nodded like he agreed. “I understand.”
Gunwoo looked right into his eyes. “Then you’ll accept responsibility?”
What? Seyong looked over at Insoo, but Insoo just looked at him with a calm little hint of a smile that didn’t tell him anything. “Accept responsibility?” he echoed. His hyungs had already talked about this and come to some sort of agreement, but what-
Gunwoo shrugged and smiled at him. “You know how it is between members.”
Yes, but they’d just said…
So shocked that he was sure he’d misunderstood, Seyong looked rapidly from one hyung to the other. “Me?!”
“The kids are too young,” Insoo explained, like it all made perfect sense. “That leaves you.”
“I,” Seyong began, but he didn’t know what to say. His mind was full of feelings and urges and instincts, but no words, no coherent thoughts. Him? They were asking him to take care of them? They were asking him to service them, to be their sex maknae? “I.” Oh, god, was this actually happening? Hopeful, thrilled, he avoided his hyungs’ eyes and ran his hands through his hair. This was so great he was afraid to believe in it. Did they mean it? They wanted him to - - to - - to serve them, to satisfy them, to - - oh, ah, he was so turned on he felt dizzy. “Okay. Yes, yes! What. What. What are you, what do you, what would I have to do?” Smiling giddily, he risked a glance at Gunwoo.
“Whatever we want,” Gunwoo said, like it was all so simple it wasn’t really worth getting into.
“Sex,” Insoo said frankly, like it was a really ordinary thing to talk about. “When we ask for it. I don’t know,” he shrugged, scratching his forearm and looking at Gunwoo. “A couple, a few times a week?”
Sex? Real sex? Not playing around or messing around or getting each other off? Not a few casual handjobs here and there? Were they going to want blowjobs? Were they going to want to fuck him? This was so many universes better than the pitiful, yearning sex life he’d been looking forward to that he was having trouble not leaping around the room, screaming in victorious delight.
“More than twice a week. I need it more often than that. I like sex,” Gunwoo said. He blinked slowly and looked at Seyong, and then he added, “And cuddling.”
“I like cuddling,” Insoo said, like he was defending himself.
Gunwoo grinned at him. “You like getting head.”
Insoo grinned back, eyes crinkling at the corners. “It’s a mouth on my cock. What would I not like about that?”
Gunwoo’s fingers plucked at Seyong’s sleeve. “What kind of lube do you like?”
Oh, god. It had never occurred to him that his hyungs would talk to him like this, and he really felt like he should be masturbating, but this wasn’t a lewd fantasy, this was really happening, an actual conversation taking place in his own life.
While Seyong was trying to pick up his brain off of the floor, Insoo burst into laughter. “‘What kind of lube do you like?’ What kind of question is that?! What are you asking?”
“It’s a good question!” Gunwoo insisted, laughing like this was a really good moment. “Different people like different kinds! Maybe he’s allergic.”
Insoo rolled his eyes at Gunwoo and nudged Seyong’s thigh with his bare toes. “Are you allergic?”
Blushing, embarrassed, feeling like a young silly kid compared to his hyungs, he admitted, “I don’t know much about that. I’ve never used it.”
“About lube?” Gunwoo asked. Hearing Gunwoo’s calm, smooth voice say that word over and over again was doing dangerous things to Seyong’s brain. He was never going to be able to talk to Gunwoo ever again without thinking about this conversation. Every time Gunwoo gave them instructions he was going to remember Gunwoo asking him about lube. Oh, god, he was never going to stop being turned on. “You’ll get used to it.”
He was going to get used to it. Gunwoo said it calmly, matter-of-factly. Oh, god, Seyong’s cock was hard. He was turned on and he was sweating and he felt like he was breathing too loudly and he wanted to move, wanted to squirm, wanted to shift his legs or touch himself or something, shit.
“You’ll get used to it,” meant, “I’m going to fuck you a lot.” That was what it meant. That was basically what Gunwoo had just said to him. “I’m going to fuck you a lot.” “Oh,” Seyong moaned, laughing helplessly, putting his face in his hands. Was this really happening? It was too good to be real, it was too perfect to be true.
“You’re not cracking up, are you?” Gunwoo asked. “You’re okay with this, aren’t you? I have to fuck you! I need to get laid!”
“Ya,” Insoo said lightly, reaching past Seyong to push at Gunwoo’s shoulder.
“Do you know how long it’s been?” Gunwoo demanded. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited? I’ll wait until we debut! I can wait that long! But as soon as we debut, someone’s giving me sex! I’m not waiting any longer!”
“You’re going to wake up the kids,” Insoo said. A strong arm curled around Seyong’s waist, pulling him close against Insoo’s side. Taking a deep breath, hoping, he lowered his hands. Instead of waking up and finding himself in bed, or in the practice room, he was still seated on Gunwoo’s bed. “Don’t listen to him,” Insoo was saying, and his heart beat faster at the nearness of Insoo’s face, at the directness of Insoo’s gaze, at the perfect pink curl of Insoo’s lips. “He gets noisy and excited when he’s horny.”
“Am I noisy and excited all of the time?” Gunwoo asked. “I’m horny all of the time!” He stared at Seyong, widening his intense, black eyes. “Do you know what the highlight of my sex year has been?” He reached out and smacked Insoo’s leg. “Watching this hyung jack off!”
No! “What?” Seyong asked, thrilled, jealous, fascinated. He stared at Insoo, wondering if Insoo would deny it. Had his hyungs been up to this without him?
“You love it,” Insoo said with a smug grin, and blew Gunwoo a kiss. “You know you love it.”
“You,” Gunwoo said, “are the worst tease in the world. You are the worst. I hate you every day.”
“Hyung,” Insoo told Seyong, putting his hand to his own chest, “is a man with sexual needs. Our leader,” he reached out and guided Gunwoo closer, “is a man with sexual needs. We’re both looking for the same thing. We both want the same thing, but we can’t get it from each other. Understand?”
“I need an ass,” Gunwoo said firmly, and Insoo burst into laughter. “I need a mouth,” he continued, ignoring Insoo. “I need to put my penis in something. I need someone who will hold still and let me - - why are you laughing?” he demanded, smacking at Insoo’s shoulder. “Why?”
“You can’t say it like that!” Insoo protested.
“I want him to understand what we’re talking about,” Gunwoo said, and planted a hand on Seyong’s thigh. “Do you like it?”
“Yes.” He felt like he was sparkling with happiness. His smile was so wide, his cheeks hurt. This was the best news he’d had in months. This was all of his fantasies being dumped into his lap at once. “Yes, I want it.” Did Gunwoo want him to do it now? Could they start now? When was Insoo going to kiss him? Licking his lips, Seyong glanced at Gunwoo before his eyes were drawn back to Insoo’s confident, patient gaze. “I’ll take care of you, hyung. I’ll accept responsibility for both of you.” He felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest.
Insoo cupped Seyong’s chin lightly and smiled at him, stroking his cheeks. It was a hyung’s approving smile, and it made Seyong feel happy and embarrassed. “We’ll start when we debut,” Insoo said.
When they debuted? That was days from now! “We can do it now,” Seyong said, feeling breathless with excitement, already anticipating the feel of Insoo’s hard, muscular body against him.
“Mmm.” Gunwoo stretched, sprawling across the lower half of the bed, kicking out his feet. “No. We’re too tired and sore for it now.” He laughed. “We should be tired and sore after, not before we even start!”
Smiling, Insoo tightened his arm around Seyong’s waist, his hand splayed over Seyong’s chest. “What happened to you yelling about ‘I can’t wait any longer!’”
“Right.” Gunwoo sat up and crawled toward Seyong with a mischievous look on his face. “Let’s start now.”
“Yes, okay,” Seyong said immediately, ready for it.
“No.” Insoo pushed Gunwoo away. “It’s a tradition. It doesn’t start until we debut.”
“Just a blowjob,” Gunwoo said, running his hand up Seyong’s thigh and settling it right next to Seyong’s balls. Electricity sizzled right through Seyong and he gasped, spreading his thighs, wanting more of that right away.
“No!” Laughing, Insoo smacked Gunwoo’s hand away. “Wait for us to debut first.”
“Uunnngh!” Groaning, Gunwoo flopped across the bed, then kicked his feet until they got up. “Everybody leave me alone to die.”
“Okay, good night,” Insoo said, smiling in amusement.
Gunwoo rolled away, against the wall, his back to the room.
Since he’d realized how badly he wanted his hyungs, and since he’d become self-conscious about being caught, Seyong had tried to keep his hands to himself. Not that he’d always succeeded, but he’d tried to limit how much he touched them. After this conversation, he felt like he had freedom to touch them as much as they would allow. Wasn’t this conversation permission? He didn’t have anything to hide anymore. As Insoo turned away, he ran his hands over Insoo’s back, rubbing the worn cotton of Insoo’s tank top and the firm musculature underneath. “Hyung?” Insoo’s smooth, round muscles and hard, warm body always felt fantastic against his hands.
“Mmm?” Insoo turned, an arm around his shoulders, gazing attentively into his eyes.
Blushing with pleasure, he licked his lips. “I don’t want to break tradition, but isn’t there anything we can do?”
“Forget tradition,” Gunwoo said, climbing out of bed, all determined eyes and long limbs. “Come here and sit on my penis.”
Seyong thought that sounded like a fantastic idea. He’d had no idea that Gunwoo would be so aggressive, and it was making him even more eager. But Insoo said, “We can’t-”
“I can,” Gunwoo said, and grabbed Seyong’s chin, pushing his face toward Insoo’s. “Have you seen this dongsaeng? Do you see how handsome he is?” Letting go of his face, Gunwoo yanked up his shirt, exposing his torso. Reflexively embarrassed, he tried to squirm away, but Gunwoo put a hand on the back of his neck to keep him in place. “Have you seen this? Do you not want to fuck him?” Dropping his shirt, Gunwoo asked, “Have you seen his ass? I like it. I like it so much I want to bite it.” Gunwoo growled in his face, grinning, baring even white teeth and then biting at the air, teeth clamping together audibly.
Gunwoo was incredibly strange, and Seyong was just beginning to realize exactly how exciting that weirdness might be, sexually. “Let’s do it now.” His breath was coming fast and if it hadn’t been for Insoo’s arm around him he would’ve launched himself at Gunwoo’s long, lanky body. “It’s almost debut. It’s close enough.”
“Yes,” Gunwoo said firmly. “I’m biting your pretty little ass.”
“You’re a pervert,” Insoo said, like he liked it. “You’re a danger to society.”
“No, I’m a danger to his ass,” Gunwoo corrected.
“Go.” Insoo pushed Seyong away. “Go out and sleep with the kids.”
Seyong hesitated, unwilling to go. The way they’d been talking about him, touching him, was so much more unpredictable and exciting and arousing than his fantasies. He wanted to know what else they might do. He wanted to volunteer-
“Go. Do what hyung says,” Insoo said, pushing him toward the door.
“Listen to your leader,” Gunwoo said suddenly, pulling him back. “Get in my bed.”
“Listen to hyung,” Insoo insisted, intervening.
“Listen to your leader,” Gunwoo argued, dragging him toward the bed.
“Listen to hyung!”
Seyong didn’t want to pick sides, but he definitely liked Gunwoo’s idea best. Both hyungs were laughing, tugging him back and forth, pulling him all over the room. Loving the feel of their hands on him and their happy arguments, he waited until he was close to the bed again, and then when Insoo grabbed him he threw his arms around Insoo and leapt backward, toward Gunwoo and the bed. They landed with a crash, a pile of bodies, Gunwoo’s legs everywhere, Insoo heavy across his body.
Laughing, Gunwoo said “ow” a bunch of times but didn’t seem to mean it. Seyong waited for a second to make sure that the bed wasn’t going to break or anything, then ran his hands over Insoo’s pecs. “Hyung?”
Insoo’s gaze searched his face. “I can’t,” Insoo said, and then his hand was sliding up Seyong’s side, drawing up Seyong’s shirt. Yes, yes, Insoo was looking at his mouth, leaning in, about to kiss him. Moaning with anticipation, burning with heat where Insoo’s hand was sliding up his body, Seyong parted his lips, ready for Insoo’s kiss, eager for Insoo’s mouth, needing-
“Hyung!” The bedroom door banged open. “Are you okay?” JunQ demanded.
“Are you hurt? What happened?” Chaejin asked.
For an instant, Seyong stared wide-eyed at Insoo, torn between the urge to scramble up like nothing had happened and the urge to wail with fury at the interruption. Then, groaning and laughing, Insoo buried his face against Seyong’s shoulder, smacking his hand against the bed.
“We were playing,” Gunwoo said. “We were wrestling.”
Sighing, Seyong wrapped his arms around Insoo, not wanting to let go. Maybe the kids would leave.
“You were being so noisy,” Chaejin said.
“I’m sleeping in here,” JunQ said, moving farther into the room. “It’s too uncomfortable out there.”
“I just wanted to bite it,” Gunwoo said sadly, climbing toward his pillows. “I just wanted one little nibble.”
“Bite what?” Chaejin asked.
“Hyung’s being weird,” Seyong said, blushing. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Hyung,” JunQ said, patting Insoo’s back. “Are you coming to bed?”
“Three more days,” Gunwoo said. “Three more days.”
“I’m not going to make it,” Insoo moaned, tucking himself more closely against Seyong’s body, curling forward, his face against Seyong’s shoulder. “I can’t do it, I can’t wait.”
Enjoying every tiny second of this moment, Seyong rubbed his back, caressing the sinewy lines of his body in long, loving strokes, trying to figure out how to say, “It’s okay, we can do it right now,” in a way that wouldn’t alert the kids. It felt fantastic to think that his hyungs were attracted to him. He’d wanted them so badly, and despaired of ever finding a way to get what he needed, that it had never occurred to him that they might want him, too.
“Just a nibble,” Gunwoo was saying to himself. “Just put it on a plate and eat it.”
“Ya!” Insoo’s head came up and he grabbed at Gunwoo, who kicked his hand away. “You keep your teeth to yourself! We have to share, and I don’t want your bite marks on it!”
“I’m the leader!” Gunwoo shot back, kicking at his shoulder without making contact. “I can bite whatever I want!”
“What are the hyungs fighting about?” Chaejin asked, sounding bewildered. Seyong would have tried to come up with an answer, but they were being so ridiculous he was busy laughing. He knew that they didn’t mean it, but they were fighting over him, and it was so great and unexpected that he felt happier and happier with every silly remark.
“You - - stop it,” Insoo said, pushing Gunwoo’s foot away. “Stupid.” He glanced at Seyong, who was still laughing, and groaned, covering Seyong’s face with one hand. “Don’t look at me for three days. Don’t even come near me. I don’t want to see your pretty, handsome face for three days.”
Laughing against Insoo’s palm, he slid his hands down to the firm curves of Insoo’s ass.
“Ya!” Insoo leapt off of him, springing away from the bed. “Not for three days!”
“Members!” Gunwoo shouted. “Go to bed.” Then he grinned at Seyong. “Except you, you come here.”
Seyong would have risked it - - he didn’t know what he could get away with in front of the kids, but he intended to find out - - but Insoo grabbed him, dragging him from the bed and dumping him on the floor. “Three days!” Insoo yelled.
“Three days!” Gunwoo shouted back. “Rock and roll!”
Seyong lay there on the floor, smiling at life. Three days. In just three days, they’d debut. In just three days, his life as an idol would finally begin. In just three days, he would be able to taste, for himself, with his very own tongue, the delicious curves of Insoo’s lips. Just three days.
“Does anybody else have such weird hyungs?” JunQ asked.
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July 12, 2013
by Matthew Haldeman-Time