Natural Affection

K-pop info and glossary
 
Infinite
Debut: 2010, Woollim Entertainment
Fan club: Inspirit
Name Real name Birth date Role
Sunggyu Kim Sunggyu April 28, 1989 leader, main vocal
Dongwoo Jang Dongwoo November 22, 1990 main rapper, lead dancer
Woohyun Nam Woohyun February 8, 1991 lead vocal
Hoya Lee Howon March 28, 1991 main dancer, lead rapper
Sungyeol Lee Sungyeol August 27, 1991 sub-vocal
L Kim Myungsoo March 13, 1992 visual, actor
Sungjong Lee Sungjong September 3, 1993 maknae
 
I write about men having sex with other men.  You must be eighteen or older to read my fiction.  This site is for consenting, responsible adults only.


            It started after a break-up.  A bad break-up that left Woohyun so shattered that he felt broken, lost, disoriented.  How could he have been so wrong about who his boyfriend really was?  How could he have been so stupid as to believe that lying, self-serving, heartless, immoral jackass was a good, loving, ethical person deserving of his heart?  Was his own judgment really that off-base?  Had he truly been so easily fooled?

            In the days after the break-up, he didn’t trust himself anymore, and he didn’t trust anyone around him.  He felt as if he were viewing everyone from a distance, skeptical of every smile, a protective shield around his heart.  If his ex had tricked him so well, who else was he wrong about?  Who else was a fraud at love?

            The other members were the first people he thawed to again.  He couldn’t keep up his guard around them; he couldn’t doubt them.  He knew them too well.  Loved them too well.  And the first one to elicit a spontaneous throb of affection in his bruised heart was Dongwoo.  Earnest, enthusiastic Dongwoo, playing with L and Sungyeol during a break in practice, dancing away from them.  L caught Dongwoo, and he burst into laughter, doubled over, open mouth showing all of his teeth, before turning around and hugging L, still laughing.  He looked so genuinely happy that Woohyun’s emotions went through a chaotic tumble - - resentment, anger, jealousy, denial, acceptance, admiration - - before settling on a quick, painful flicker of love.  It really felt as if Dongwoo were so affectionate, he pulled affection out of Woohyun, too.  He cupped L’s face in his hands, caressing L’s cheeks, and L leaned in, trying to kiss him.  Laughing, he ducked the kiss, then snuck in a quick kiss to L’s cheek.

            Woohyun tried to stay sour.  Weren’t all people just using each other?  If he and the other members didn’t need each other to stay famous, would they have anything to do with each other?  Wouldn’t Dongwoo be just as affectionate and kind to a completely different set of people, if their CEO had placed them on other teams?

            The answer was yes, but Woohyun began to wonder if that was a bad thing.  Dongwoo was so friendly and so energetic that he’d try to get along with people in whichever situation he was in.  He was so honest himself that he trusted people to be the same with him.  If anything, he was too loving, too affectionate, too trusting.

            Woohyun was lucky to have those traits in a friend, but more and more he began to wonder what it would be like to have those traits in a boyfriend.  To have someone whose love he never had to question.  To have someone who would always give affection and never withhold it just to manipulate him or make a point.  He felt like he couldn’t trust anyone, felt like he couldn’t soak up enough reassuring love, and there was Dongwoo, a cheerful fountain of it.

            Everything else grew from there.



            They were being interviewed for a magazine when they were asked one of the typical questions: “If you could borrow a trait from any other member, what would it be?”

            Woohyun’s answer was easy.  “I would want Dongwoo hyung’s giving nature.  He opens up to people easily and shares his affection well.”

            Dongwoo said, “I want something from everybody!  I want to dance as well as Hoya and be as tall as Sungyeol and be as good-looking as L.  I want a cute butt like Sungjong and I want to sing as well as Sunggyu hyung and I want to be as good to the fans as Woohyun.”  When the interviewer pressed him to choose just one, he laughed and said, “I want to be like Hoya, then.  Anything Hoya has, I want it.”

            Woohyun knew that it shouldn’t bother him when Dongwoo said things like that.  He knew that it was just Dongwoo teasing, having fun.  It was partly Dongwoo’s genuine affection for Hoya and partly fan service, and Woohyun shouldn’t think twice about it.  He understood that, intellectually.  But it started to grate on him, started to feel like another sharp pinprick every time it happened.

            At a photo shoot later, the photographer separated them: Woohyun with Sunggyu, Dongwoo with Hoya, the other three together.  “Does it have to be this way?” Woohyun asked, laughing a little to play it off.  “I’m tired of this hyung.  Can’t I be with Dongwoo hyung this time?”

            “The fans will like it this way,” their manager said.

            He and Sunggyu did their shoot first.  Finished, instead of going to change for the group shots, Woohyun lingered behind the photographer, watching Dongwoo and Hoya’s shoot.  He’d always liked watching Dongwoo during photo shoots; Dongwoo gave the photographers a lot to work with.  Instead of admiring the variety of poses and expressions Dongwoo rolled through, though, he found himself attentively observing Dongwoo and Hoya’s skinship.

            Dongwoo touched Hoya more than Hoya touched back.  And every so often, Hoya would shrug Dongwoo off.  Some old part of Woohyun understood that; he’d used to feel the same way.  Skinship with Dongwoo was always great at first, and then he’d take it too far, and Woohyun - - or Hoya, or Sunggyu, or anyone - - would have to nudge him away.  Lately, though, Woohyun soaked up as much of Dongwoo’s physical affection as he could get.  What kind of person was Hoya, to take that attention for granted?  To push it away?  Didn’t he understand what he was refusing?

            Sunggyu elbowed him.  “Maybe you should be less obvious.”

            “I’m watching a shoot,” Woohyun muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, unwilling to take his gaze from the hand Dongwoo had splayed over Hoya’s abs.  “We monitor each other’s work all of the time.”

            “You’re glaring like you’re trying to kill Hoya with your mind.”

            Hoya brushed Dongwoo’s hand off and Dongwoo moved into another pose, back-to-back with him.

            Ugh.  Woohyun turned his glare on Sunggyu, instead.  “Why am I in a couple with you?”

            Sunggyu smiled.  “Because you love me.”

            Woohyun wrinkled his nose.  “I have terrible taste.”

            “Awful,” Sunggyu agreed, slinging an arm around his shoulders.  “Let’s change.  You can watch me undress.”



            They were standing backstage at Inkigayo, doing a brief interview.  Dongwoo was right in front of him, so he wrapped his arm around Dongwoo’s waist.  Right away, Dongwoo relaxed back against him, leaning into his shoulder.  The simple coziness of it was so comfortable, he rested his chin on Dongwoo’s shoulder.  A moment later, Dongwoo’s hand was caressing the side of his face, stroking his cheek, knuckles lightly brushing his chin.  The natural, easy affection felt so good, he tipped his head against Dongwoo’s, soaking it up.

            When the interview ended and Dongwoo began to move away, he pulled Dongwoo back, wrapping both arms around Dongwoo’s waist, not ready to let go.  Unquestioningly cooperative, Dongwoo leaned against his chest again, companionably staying with him.  While the other members drifted, thanking the camera crew, talking to their manager, Dongwoo’s head tilted back against Woohyun’s shoulder.  Dongwoo’s eyes were closed; he could see the long, straight fringe of black eyelashes.  Lowering his face, he brushed his cheek against Dongwoo’s, closing his eyes.  This was what he wanted, what he needed.  Dongwoo had so much fondness, so much love to give, wouldn’t it be okay if he took more than his share?

            “Are you two sleeping?”  L sounded like he might laugh.

            “Yes,” Dongwoo said.  “This is my Nam-pillow.”

            “Kids,” Sunggyu said.  “Everybody, let’s go.”

            Reluctantly, Woohyun opened his eyes to see the backs of the other members.  He hated to break the moment, but he had to follow.  Stealing one last intimacy, he kissed Dongwoo’s neck.

            With a laugh, Dongwoo kissed his cheek, then stepped away, pulling his arm.  “Come!  Let’s not be left behind.”



            Dongwoo returned any affection which Woohyun extended.  When Woohyun hugged him, he hugged back.  When Woohyun tucked in around him, he snuggled in.  When Woohyun touched his chest or his abs, he undulated and grooved and danced.  When Woohyun smiled at him, he smacked Woohyun’s ass.

            How could Woohyun ever have found his skinship annoying?  Now, Woohyun couldn’t get enough.  Whenever Dongwoo stayed in one place long enough, Woohyun practically crawled on top of him, greedily soaking up his attention.  Whenever he was particularly energetic, Woohyun held him close, and he fidgeted on Woohyun, stroking, tapping, laughing, nibbling, bouncing in place.  It was like trying to trap a feisty squirrel, but it felt terrific.  It was hard to know where to draw boundaries, since Dongwoo barely had any.  Wanting more and more, Woohyun kept wondering how far it was safe to go, how much it was okay to take.

            One night at the dorm, while the members sat together on the floor, talking, he stretched out with his head in Dongwoo’s lap.  Dongwoo stroked his hair, occasionally caressing his forehead.  It was so comfortable that he relaxed drowsily, his troubled heart’s yearning momentarily sated.

            He didn’t think that he’d fallen asleep, but he did stop paying attention to the conversation around him for a while, letting contentment and Dongwoo’s easily offered affection lull him.  Then he heard Dongwoo say, “No!  What do you mean?” in a dismayed, confused tone different from the laughter and joking of the past minutes.

            “Didn’t anyone else notice?” Hoya asked.  “Woohyun always seems angry with me.  He looks at me like he wants to knife me.”

            “That can’t be it,” Dongwoo objected.

            “What’s he angry about?” Sungyeol asked.

            “I’ve noticed it,” Sungjong said.  “He’s always standing around with this ‘grr, die’ expression.  I couldn’t tell if he hated you or Dongwoo hyung.”

            Dongwoo laughed, lightly splaying his hand at the base of Woohyun’s throat.  “I don’t think it’s me!”

            “He’s just under stress,” Sunggyu said.  “Don’t take it personally.”

            “It can’t be serious,” Dongwoo said.  “Who could hate you?”  His hand wasn’t on Woohyun anymore.  It was probably on Hoya, now.  “Maybe he’s jealous.”  Dongwoo’s tone was teasing and flirtatious.  “You’re so handsome, you dance so well.  Maybe he’s thinking, ‘Grr, I hate you, my ass will never look that good.’”

            “I do have a great ass,” Hoya agreed.

            It took everything Woohyun had to hold still.  Damn it!  Damn it!  He shouldn’t take this to heart, he shouldn’t let it hurt, it was meaningless, it was nothing.  Why did it cut him so deeply?  Why did he feel so wronged, so betrayed?

            Why couldn’t Dongwoo defend him?  Something simple on his behalf, like, “No, Woohyun wouldn’t hate another member.”  Instead, Dongwoo took up for Hoya.  Woohyun wasn’t handsome?  Woohyun couldn’t dance?  What the hell did Woohyun’s ass look like?

            Dongwoo’s hand took forever to return to him.



            It was the variety show filming that finally pushed him too far.  They paired Dongwoo and Hoya for a quiz segment.  They paired Dongwoo and Hoya for the pepero game.  They invited Dongwoo and Hoya to do a couple’s sexy dance.  After three hours of filming, not only watching Dongwoo hug and touch Hoya but also watching Hoya push Dongwoo’s hands away, Woohyun was on the verge of losing it.  He hid it during the filming, but afterward, he couldn’t pretend that everything was okay.

            As the members walked back into the dorm, he heard Hoya trying to get his attention.  Not trusting himself, trying to remember that he wasn’t angry with Hoya, that this wasn’t about Hoya, that his resentment and jealousy were completely inappropriate, he went into his room.

            “It’s stress,” he heard Sunggyu saying after the slam of the door stopped ringing in his ears.  “Leave him alone.  Hoya!  Leave him alone!”

            The door was opening.  Woohyun crossed his arms over his chest, stepping back, as Hoya walked in.  Looking pissed off and confused, Hoya demanded, “What’s wrong with you?”

            “Nothing.”  He didn’t know what to say.  He couldn’t explain it.  “It’s not about you.”

            Through the doorway, he heard Sunggyu saying, “Take the kids for ice cream.  Give us time to talk.”

            “Yeah,” Dongwoo said.  So obedient, such a damned pushover, why did Woohyun love him so much?  But that was why.  Because he was so warm-hearted, so decent, so earnest.  God damn it.

            “If it’s not about me, why do you keep snarling at me?” Hoya demanded.

            “It’s not!  About!  You!” Woohyun shouted.

            “Ya.”  Sunggyu came in, frowning.  “I sent the other members out.  Let’s figure out what to do about this.”

            “About what?” Hoya asked.

            “Why the hell is it you?” Woohyun demanded.  “Why couldn’t it be me?  Why couldn’t it be L?  You’re the worst at skinship in our whole team!”

            “I’ve been thinking about it,” Sunggyu said.  “What if we switch?”

            “Switch what?” Hoya asked.  “What are you talking about?”

            “Couples,” Sunggyu said.  “It doesn’t have to be Hyunsung couple, Yadong couple.  We could switch.”

            Was he serious?  “The fans will hate that,” Woohyun said.

            “What new couples?” Hoya asked.

            “You and me,” Sunggyu said, “and Woohyun and Dongwoo.”

            It was perfect.  Woohyun’s heart was hammering in his chest.  “Can we?”

            “Dongwoo hyung won’t like it,” Hoya said.  “You’re too pushy and manipulative.  He won’t want to be a couple with you.  He’d do it with L, though.”

            Woohyun only made it a few steps forward before Sunggyu intervened, shoving him back.  “Ya!  Stop it!”  Pushing him farther away, Sunggyu turned to Hoya.  “Are you stupid?  He’s in love with Dongwoo.  He wants to be a couple.  Are you going to help or are you going to say useless things?”

            “What?”

            Woohyun couldn’t stand Hoya’s astonished expression.  Shoving past, he strode out of the room, taking an impatient turn around the dorm, trying to shake his nerves, trying to settle the feverish tumult of his emotions.  Could Sunggyu’s idea work?  Was Hoya right?  He wanted to be a real couple with Dongwoo, not just for the fans but for real, but it was still a step forward.  It would give him even more of an excuse to be close.  It would give him even more access to Dongwoo’s affection.

            The reasons he loved Dongwoo so much, the things he found in Dongwoo, were things that he lacked.  He wasn’t as soft-hearted or guileless as Dongwoo.  He was controlling, ambitious.  But he wasn’t a villain!  He wasn’t a criminal!  He was just a little manipulative, sometimes.  Dongwoo’s love was generous enough to accept that, wasn’t it?

            Standing in Dongwoo and L’s room, he stared down at Dongwoo’s rumpled blanket.  He was so hurt and so frustrated, he’d just wanted a chance to heal.  He’d wanted someone’s love to soothe his broken heart.  Dongwoo had brought him this far without even being aware of it, without doing anything new or different.  What would it be like if Dongwoo deliberately tried to demonstrate affection?  What would it be like if Dongwoo wanted him?  What would it be like if Dongwoo loved him back?

            “Okay?” Sunggyu’s voice asked behind him.

            Swallowing, he nodded without turning.  He didn’t want to admit that it wasn’t possible.  He didn’t want to face any reality where Dongwoo’s love for him only went so far, and no farther.

            “Hoya and I are going to be a couple.  You and Dongwoo will be a couple, too.  We’ll tell him when he gets back with the kids.”

            What if he didn’t want to do it?  What if he hated it?

            “Ya.”  Sunggyu’s arms came around him from behind.  “Stop being tense and creepy,” Sunggyu said into his ear.  “He loves you.  Rapper couple, dancer couple, porn couple, what’s that?  They look awful together.  So what if you’re manipulative and pushy?  He loves you anyway.  Dongwoo doesn’t know how not to love us.  I could kick him in the balls eight times a day and his heart would still follow me.”

            Ugh, it was so true.  “Why am I in love with someone like that?” Woohyun asked.

            “He’s like an energetic puppy,” Sunggyu said.  “He’s impossible not to like.  You just have to figure out how to discipline him.”

            Discipline him?  Woohyun laughed, looking at Sunggyu over his shoulder.  “Are you taking this conversation in a weird direction?”

            “Ya, not like that!”  Sunggyu laughed.  “Keep that private.”

            “Hello?  We’re back,” Sungyeol’s voice said from the front room.

            “We brought you ice cream,” Dongwoo added.

            Typical.  So typical Woohyun wanted to laugh.  Not, “We got ice cream for ourselves but not for you.”  Not, “I’ll give you some ice cream if you do me a favor or show me a talent.”  Just honest, generous, “We brought you ice cream.”  No strings attached.  It made Woohyun want him even more.

            After the ice cream was gone, Sunggyu and Woohyun went into their room with Hoya and called in Dongwoo.  As they sat, Woohyun inserted himself between Dongwoo and Hoya.

            “We’ve been Hyunsung couple and Yadong couple for a while now,” Sunggyu said.  Dongwoo nodded.  “It’s not good to do the same thing forever.  We’re doing more variety shows now, and it’s good to keep things fresh.”  Dongwoo nodded trustingly, and Woohyun put a hand on his thigh.  Without glancing down, he put his hand over Woohyun’s, lacing their fingers.  “We should try new couples.  Sungya couple, Woowoo couple.”

            Dongwoo snickered.  “Woowoo?  What is that?  It sounds silly.”

            “Two-woo couple,” Hoya suggested.

            “What about the fans?”  Dongwoo frowned.  “If they like the couples, shouldn’t we keep them?”

            “They’ll like the new ones,” Sunggyu said.  “Do you really want to be famous for being part of a porn couple?”

            Dongwoo laughed.  “Are those my only choices?  Porn couple or Woowoowoowoo couple?”

            “We’ll start tomorrow when we’re filming,” Sunggyu said.  “We’ll have to sell it to the fans, so do lots of skinship.”

            Dongwoo laughed, looking at Woohyun.  “It’s like an arranged marriage.  Are you my new boyfriend?”

            Woohyun smiled at him.  “You should be happy.  I’m a lot better at touching guys than Hoya is.”

            Eyes widening, Dongwoo laughed as if the sexual innuendo delighted and embarrassed him.  “You don’t have to do all of that!”

            “You don’t like blowjobs?” Hoya asked.  “Don’t turn down a good thing.”

            Dongwoo’s laughter was embarrassed, but he didn’t let go of Woohyun’s hand.



            Woohyun tried to balance his time with Dongwoo.  When they were out, in front of cameras, in front of fans, he stuck to Dongwoo’s side and never kept his hands to himself.  He took as much skinship as he could get, feeling like parched earth that could never soak up enough water.  But when they were at the dorm, or practicing, he wasn’t as forward about it.  He wanted to give Dongwoo room; he didn’t want to crowd the guy twenty-four hours a day.  No, that wasn’t entirely true; he wanted to.  He just didn’t think that it was prudent to.  He had to make smart choices and careful moves.

            It was difficult, though, not to wrap his arm around Dongwoo’s waist, knowing that Dongwoo would obligingly lean against him.  Difficult not to slide his hand over Dongwoo’s firm thigh or up the tempting, taut smoothness of a bare arm.  Caressing Dongwoo’s neck, he fantasized about his touch drifting upward, about stroking Dongwoo’s cheekbones, about running his fingers through Dongwoo’s soft, thick hair, and, most of all, about rubbing his thumb across Dongwoo’s lower lip.  Dongwoo’s mouth was so distracting, and he’d spent so much time fantasizing about it, that just looking at it turned him on.

            It was awkward that Hoya knew that he was in love with Dongwoo; he’d rather nobody know at all.  Hoya kept referring to them as boyfriends.  Woohyun would have told Hoya to stop it, but maybe it wasn’t so bad to have someone plant the idea in Dongwoo’s head.  Whenever Hoya said it, Dongwoo laughed like it was embarrassing but didn’t argue that it wasn’t true.

            Woohyun took advantage of being a couple whenever he could.  When he saw a camera, he made sure that he had Dongwoo at his side.  He brought Dongwoo up in interviews and volunteered Dongwoo on variety shows.  Now he was the one paired with Dongwoo on photo shoots, and it was fucking glorious.  In front of the camera, Dongwoo was always ready to play up the mood.  When the theme was fun and playful, that was great, but when the mood was intense and sexy, it was even better.  While Dongwoo flirted and smoldered, Woohyun moved in, unable to resist the allure of his lascivious stare and sensuous pouting.  Woohyun took Dongwoo’s collar in both hands, slowly pulling it open, exposing more of Dongwoo’s hard, lean chest.  The smoothness of Dongwoo’s skin was so enticing, he licked his lips, lusting for a taste.  Dongwoo leaned toward him, an elbow on his shoulder, smirking at the camera.  While Woohyun’s thumb rubbed along Dongwoo’s collarbone, Dongwoo touched his own lips, then turned slightly and nipped at Woohyun’s jaw.  Loving it, Woohyun gave him an approving, inviting look, and Dongwoo’s smile sizzled with flirtatious, erotic promise.

            “Ya.  Kids,” their manager said.

            Frustrated by the interruption, Woohyun shot their manager a very unwise but heartfelt scathing look.

            That ended up being the shot the magazine used: Dongwoo gazing at Woohyun’s face, lips parted; Woohyun with one hand at the base of Dongwoo’s neck, sending a warning look to one side.  With their bodies close, Dongwoo looking completely absorbed in Woohyun, and Woohyun looking protective, possessive, they seemed to be clandestine lovers caught in some private moment.

            Dongwoo liked it.  He started reenacting it for fans, yanking his collar aside and staring into Woohyun’s face.

            Woohyun hated it.  Hated it because it wasn’t real, because it was just pretend.  All of it was fake, a game.  His heart pounded every time he had Dongwoo in his arms, and as far as Dongwoo was concerned, none of it meant anything.  It drove him wild, it hurt like hell, and it made him wish that he still liked manipulative jerks.  At least when a manipulative jerk just wanted to be friends, he could tell himself that it was a ploy.  When Dongwoo just wanted to be friends, it was out of a genuine lack of interest or romantic feeling or sexual desire, and there was no pretending otherwise.

            They were in the practice room late one night when Sunggyu gave them a short break.  While some of the members ran to the bathroom or grabbed their phones, Woohyun guzzled water and watched sweat trickle down Dongwoo’s naked back.  Looking at Dongwoo, Hoya asked, “Why don’t you two make out more?”

            “What?”  Dongwoo laughed, glancing in Woohyun’s direction.

            “You have a sexy boyfriend like him and you don’t want to make out?  He has a better body than you do and he’ll blow you.”

            “Ya!”  Woohyun didn’t know whether to thank Hoya or punch him.  “Shut up.”

            “Do you make out with Sunggyu hyung?” Sungyeol asked Hoya.

            “Gross,” Sunggyu said.

            “I think you should,” L said.

            “I think if Sunggyu hyung and Hoya make out, Dongwoo hyung and Woohyun have to,” Sungyeol said.

            “Have to?” Dongwoo repeated.

            “I agree,” Hoya said.  Woohyun didn’t know whether to agree or rebel.  Did he really have to resort to this to get Dongwoo to kiss him?  Was he so desperate that he’d play along?

            “Ten minutes in the bathroom,” Sungyeol said.

            “Five minutes,” Sunggyu said.  “Not the bathroom, it smells in there.”

            “No, do it here,” L said.  “If you leave, you can’t prove that you did it.”

            “I’ll time you,” Sungjong said.

            “Wait,” Dongwoo said, looking around.  “What?”

            Sunggyu eyed Hoya.  “Don’t put your tongue in my mouth.”

            Hoya raised his eyebrows.  “Why would I want to?”

            Sunggyu gave the room a cursory glance, then pulled Hoya to the far corner.  “Ugh, five minutes is a long time.”

            Hoya grimaced, looking at him.  “Can you shave first?”

            Turning away, Sunggyu asked, “Can I do this with L?”

            “No!” L exclaimed, laughing.  “Hurry, five minutes.”

            Gripping the front of Sunggyu’s shirt, Hoya yanked him around and kissed him, right on the mouth.  While the other members turned away, laughing and cringing, Woohyun stared in horrified fascination.  Their lips pressed together, Sunggyu pushed Hoya back against the wall, one hand at his nape.  Against Sunggyu’s mouth, Hoya muttered, “Time?”

            “Thirty seconds!  Keep going,” Sungjong urged.

            “Grab his ass!” Sungyeol said.  “Use your tongue!”

            “No biting!” L called.

            Sitting on the floor now, Dongwoo laughed, clapping his hands together.  “So awkward!”

            It really was awkward.  They were just standing there, pressed together, waiting.  “Kiss, move your mouths, do something,” Woohyun said.

            “If you don’t do more, it won’t count,” L said.  “You’ll have to do it again.”

            “Ya!” Sunggyu exclaimed in protest, breaking away and turning to face them.  “Says who?  This-”

            Cutting him off, Hoya dragged him back and kissed him.  Sunggyu made an uncomfortable sound, and Hoya, still kissing him, slapped lightly at the side of his face.  Then Sunggyu’s lips parted, and Woohyun could see the pink streak of Hoya’s tongue, and the other members were shuddering again, recoiling.

            “They’re really doing it,” Sungyeol said.  “Why are they really doing it?  Why?!  Kissing, they’re kissing!”

            “Can I take a photo?” L asked.

            “Don’t take a photo!” Dongwoo exclaimed.

            “I’m going to be sick,” Sungyeol said.

            “It’s not that bad,” L said.  “I could jack off to it.”

            While Dongwoo collapsed in laughter, Sungjong said, “Time!”

            Laughing, Sunggyu and Hoya broke apart.  “What were you doing, biting?” Sunggyu asked, wiping at his mouth with one hand.

            “What?” Hoya asked.  “Women like it.”

            “Nobody likes that!” Sunggyu protested.

            Hoya grinned.  “Then why were you getting hard?”

            “Ya!”  Sunggyu shoved Hoya against the wall again.  “I was not!”

            “Oh,” Hoya said breathlessly, melting back against the wall, licking his lips.  “You want it again?”

            “Five more minutes!” L said.

            “No!”  Sunggyu held Hoya by the throat until he laughed and submitted, then said, “Woowoo couple’s turn.”

            “Why?” Dongwoo asked helplessly.  “Why are we doing this?”

            “If I had to kiss this hyung, you can kiss Woohyun,” Hoya said.  “At least he’s handsome.”

            “Ya!”  Sunggyu grabbed at Hoya again, who ducked away with alacrity.

            “You have to use your tongues,” Sungjong said.  “To be fair.”

            “We’re not doing it in front of the whole team,” Woohyun said.  He wanted it to be private, not some spectacle.  “Everybody get out.”

            “Get out?” Sunggyu repeated.

            “How are you going to prove that you did it?” Hoya asked.

            “L can stay,” he decided.  “We don’t need more than one witness.”

            “I want to see,” Sungjong complained.

            “I don’t,” Sungyeol said.  “That scarred my eyes badly enough.”

            “Go,” Woohyun ordered the kids.  There was some grumbling and teasing and shuffling, but eventually everyone left except L and Dongwoo.  Squatting at Dongwoo’s side, he tried to fix his bangs, buying time.  Should he go for the seductive angle?  Try teasing?  Make a joke of it?  It was humiliating to do this as a game when what he so desperately wanted was for it to be real, but should he take what he could get?  His pride balked, and he hesitated.  It shouldn’t be like this.

            Dongwoo licked his lips and looked at him.  “Is it okay?”

            Was what okay?  “Yes,” he said, just to find out what Dongwoo would say next.

            As it turned out, Dongwoo didn’t say anything.  He just licked his lips again, slid his hand around to Woohyun’s nape, and leaned in, lips parted and wet and…soft…

            Moaning, Woohyun closed his eyes.  The slow sweep of Dongwoo’s tongue was electrifying, and a thrill of excited pleasure raced through him as the kiss deepened.  He’d fantasized about kissing Dongwoo, but he’d never imagined that it would be like this, that Dongwoo would be the one to start it, that it would be so rhythmic and sensuous.  His muscles weak, his body hot, he fell to his knees, landing astride Dongwoo’s leg.  The stroking of Dongwoo’s tongue turned him on, sending flames licking up between his thighs, and he moaned again, sliding his hand into Dongwoo’s hair, wanting to touch, needing something to hold onto.

            “Mmm…”  With a soft sound of arousal that hummed down Woohyun’s spine, Dongwoo put both hands on his waist and slid them upward.  Pleasure and anticipation raced over his skin, tightening his nipples, as he felt Dongwoo’s hands slide up his chest.  His back arching, he sucked at Dongwoo’s tongue, encouraging, wanting more, yes, so much more.

            “Good, so good,” Dongwoo breathed against his mouth, kissing him again, hands sliding under his shirt this time, stroking his bare skin.  Ugh, he couldn’t take it.  Too turned on to think strategically, he pushed Dongwoo back, flat across the floor.  Cooperating easily, Dongwoo kissed him boldly, making low, aroused noises into his mouth.  Dongwoo’s thumbs had found his nipples and were teasing him, rubbing, flicking.  With a deep shudder, he groaned around Dongwoo’s tongue, his whole body aching with pleasure and need.

            Dongwoo’s body was firm and lean under his hand, taut muscle under deliciously soft skin.  When he ran his hand over Dongwoo’s side, Dongwoo’s hips lifted, rolling upward in a fluid undulation.  He knew that he shouldn’t, couldn’t, but his hand was already moving and Dongwoo’s thighs were spreading, inviting, and when he settled his hand over Dongwoo’s fly, cupping, he could feel the stiffening shaft of Dongwoo’s cock.

            “Ooohh.”  Dongwoo raised a knee, rolling, pushing him onto his back, rising over him, grinding sinuously against his hand.  White-hot lust seared away any lingering hesitation on Woohyun’s part, and he had Dongwoo’s fly open in a heartbeat, shoving fabric out of his way and curling his hand around the silken shaft of Dongwoo’s cock.  Fuck, it felt perfect, and as he pumped it in firm strokes, his fingers quickly learning the contours, Dongwoo grunted, hips rocking, thrusting into his fist.  Oh, god, would it be here?  Like this?  It was so fast, so bold, the shameless sensuality of Dongwoo’s kiss, the beautiful crudeness of Dongwoo’s cock in his hand.

            “Hyung,” he whispered breathlessly, and Dongwoo kissed his jaw, pressed light, sucking kisses to his neck.  It felt so good that he moaned, words slipping away meaninglessly from his mind, whatever he’d meant to say losing importance in the face of such hot, erotic pleasure.  Dongwoo’s hand skimmed up the inside of his thigh, and the fleeting pressure against his cock made him groan.  Yes, this was what his body hungered for, this, yes.  Biting at his lower lip, he tipped his head back, his hips twisting as Dongwoo pushed down his sweatpants.

            His cock was, oh god, his cock was in Dongwoo’s hand, his, “Oh, hyung, fuck,” he groaned, pleasure zipping through his body.  He couldn’t understand why Dongwoo was pushing his hand away, but he had to hold onto something.  His other hand sliding through Dongwoo’s hair, he raised his hand to his mouth, moaning in sensual thrill at the slippery saltiness of Dongwoo’s pre-cum on his palm.

            Suction, wet, hot and wet, oh, god, his cock was in Dongwoo’s mouth.  Panting, he pushed himself up on one elbow, staring down his body, his own body, at the sight of Dongwoo’s head in his lap, bobbing over his erection.  “Shit,” he breathed, stunned.  Black lashes, red lips, hollowing cheeks, Dongwoo was sucking rhythmically, and the slide of Dongwoo’s mouth over his bloated, rigid shaft was hypnotic.  Even his most obscene fantasies hadn’t prepared him for how gorgeous it would look, for how amazing it would feel.  Brushing Dongwoo’s bangs aside with shaking fingers, he tried to keep his gaze fixed on Dongwoo’s face, on his erection disappearing and reappearing between Dongwoo’s lips, but the pleasure was so intense that his vision blurred, and he dropped his head back, groaning in incoherent, pleading syllables.  “Ah, ahh, hyung, oh, yes, uunh, ah…”  Under his own desperate moaning he heard the wet sounds of Dongwoo’s mouth on his cock, smacking and slurping, and the sweet pull of suction brought a wave of irresistible pleasure.  As ecstasy broke through him, he cried out in his gratitude, his muscles clenching and unclenching in helpless spasms as his cum spilled into Dongwoo’s mouth.

            Oh.  Oh.  Boneless on the floor, Woohyun panted, the residual shimmer of pleasure bringing a languid, disbelieving dreaminess to his thoughts.  What.  How.  Amazing.  He licked his lips, staring, enchanted, as Dongwoo leaned over him with a triumphant smile.  “Good?” Dongwoo asked.

            “Thank you,” Woohyun said, raising a hand to touch Dongwoo’s face.  Dongwoo kissed him, and a final, sweet note of pleasure sang through him.  Feeling sated and happy, feeling fulfilled in a way that was foreign and wonderful, he stroked his tongue against Dongwoo’s.  Loving this moment, this intimacy, he slid his hand across Dongwoo’s chest, and Dongwoo took his hand, easing it lower, guiding it to the rigid heat of Dongwoo’s erection.  As his hand closed over it, they groaned together, Dongwoo’s hips immediately rocking forward.

            “Yes, we’re practicing,” someone said suddenly, and there was a noisy clamor of voices.  “We’re working hard!”  “We’ll keep working!”  “Just a short break!”

            “Shit,” L said hastily, and damn, Woohyun had forgotten that he was even there!  Dongwoo was scrambling upward, shoving his cock back into his pants, and Woohyun sat up, jerking his own pants up, shoving his shirt down, running his hand through his hair and trying to appear normal, calm, unruffled, while his heart was pounding and his body was trying to reconcile all of that ecstasy and the anticipation of further pleasure with this abrupt interruption.

            The other members closed the door firmly in their manager’s face.  Trying to breathe at some regular pace, not entirely sure what that was anymore, Woohyun immediately turned his gaze to Dongwoo.  Jeans zipped, Dongwoo was splashing handfuls of bottled water into his own face, shaking his hair out and mumbling under his breath.

            “What were you doing in here?” Sungyeol asked.  “That was a lot longer than five minutes.”

            “And a lot louder than just kissing,” Sungjong added.

            “Nothing,” Woohyun said, at the same moment that Dongwoo said, “Blowjob.”

            Sunggyu’s jaw dropped.  Hoya’s eyes widened.  “What?” Sungyeol asked.

            “Did you say ‘blowjob?’” Sungjong asked.

            “You missed so much,” L said.  “You should have come back in.  They wouldn’t have noticed.”

            Getting up, Woohyun tossed his hair out of his eyes.  “Should we practice?”  He wanted to preserve his own memory, his own interpretation of what had happened; he didn’t want it marred by other people’s comments and perceptions.  He didn’t want to hear how strange or meaningless or disappointing it had been to Dongwoo.

            “How was it?” Hoya asked Dongwoo.

            With a nervous laugh, Dongwoo ruffled his wet hair and darted an embarrassed glance at Woohyun.  “Let’s not talk about it!”

            “Tell us everything,” Sungyeol told L.

            “We’ve played around enough,” Woohyun said.  “Let’s practice.”

            “We have work to do,” Sunggyu agreed.  “You can gossip later.”

            The rest of practice was pretty bad.  Their choreography was ragged.  Woohyun didn’t know what everyone else’s excuse was, but his thoughts were all over the place: Dongwoo’s deep kisses, the slide of Dongwoo’s hands over his skin, the way Dongwoo had rolled him over and thrust into his hand, the hot suction of Dongwoo’s mouth.  The responsive undulations of Dongwoo’s body, the warmth of Dongwoo’s hard, silky cock in his hand, the soft hunger of Dongwoo’s kisses against his neck.  He’d never expected Dongwoo to be the aggressor, to keep escalating.  Was it just hormones?  Had it meant anything?  Could it happen again?

            When practice ended, Dongwoo gave him a shy smile and asked, “It’s okay?”

            He brushed his knuckles against the corner of Dongwoo’s mouth, smiling.  “You want to go back to the dorm and do it again?”

            L whistled.  Dongwoo laughed and said, “Okay, but let me shower first.”



            They went into Dongwoo and L’s room and barricaded the door as best they could to keep out nosy members.  They made out for as long as they could take it, kissing each other, touching each other, exploring each other.  He sated some of the yearning desires he’d been clinging to, giving in to the urge to nuzzle his face against Dongwoo’s chest, to lick Dongwoo’s tiny pink nipples, to massage Dongwoo’s pert, firm ass in both hands.  He whispered, “Ah, hyung, you’re so fucking sexy,” and Dongwoo moaned and kissed him harder.

            He was on his back, Dongwoo’s lean body naked against him, Dongwoo’s hips grinding against his in a delicious rhythm of friction that felt so much like sex he kept moaning, hugging Dongwoo’s waist with his thighs and arching upward in needy pleasure.  Lifting up slightly, making him crave the heat and silk of Dongwoo’s skin again, the weight of Dongwoo’s body, Dongwoo gazed down at him, eyes heavy-lidded, hand cupping his jaw and tipping his head back.  Panting, open-mouthed, he stared up at Dongwoo, not bothering to hide his sexual hunger.

            “So handsome,” Dongwoo said.  His lips were red, swollen from Woohyun’s kisses, and there was a faint mark on his neck from Woohyun’s mouth.  “I didn’t know that it would be so good.”

            His heart lurched in his chest, and his legs clenched so tightly around Dongwoo’s waist that Dongwoo’s hips stopped moving.  “Did you ever think about it?”

            Dongwoo laughed.  “A lot, at first, when we were trainees.  I thought about all of the members.  Then I got used to it and I didn’t think about it anymore.”  He laughed again, running his hand over Woohyun’s chest.  “L’s cute and Sungjong has a nice butt, but we’re together so much, sharing a bathroom and everything, the titillation’s kind of gone, you know?”  He smiled, leaning closer.  “But you’re so grown up and so sexy lately.  Even when the kids are late for practice and you’re yelling.”

            Amazed, Woohyun smiled up at him, brushing his hair out of his face.  “You think I’m sexy?”

            Dongwoo smiled, blushing.  “Should I make a confession?”

            “Yes.”  Rolling them over, right off of Dongwoo’s blankets onto the floor, he pinned Dongwoo beneath him.  “Yes, confess.”  He wanted to hear every word.

            Laughing, Dongwoo squirmed a little beneath him in a way that felt so good he moaned, leaning in and kissing Dongwoo’s neck just to elicit another sinuous writhe.  “Oh,” Dongwoo said breathlessly.  Smiling up at him, Dongwoo wrapped lean, muscular legs around him.  “I hope you won’t misunderstand.”

            That wasn’t a good beginning.  Woohyun gave him a skeptical, warning look.

            Dongwoo’s expression was guilty.  “There were a few times I wished that you weren’t in Infinite.  Not really!” he added quickly, splaying his hands against Woohyun’s chest.  “Not like that.  You’re so handsome and so sexy and confident and calculating, I didn’t see you only as a member.  I saw you as a man, too.  I wanted you to see me as a man, not as a member, not as the hyung you’ve known for so many years.  But it’s like with the others.  We share a bathroom, you’ve seen me throw up, you think I’m annoying, you scold me.  I’m your hyung and you scold me!  I wished that we could meet as new people, that I could have a chance.  ‘Hello, my name is Jang Dongwoo, please get to know me.’  I didn’t think it was possible.”

            Staring at Dongwoo in wonder, he could only imagine what else he’d missed.  What else about Dongwoo had he overlooked?  How long had this been going on?  “You see me that way?”

            Dongwoo nodded.  “Tonight, when you said that it was okay to kiss you, I thought about it.  ‘Here’s my chance!’  You never wanted to kiss me, before.”

            His mind was spinning, his heart pounding.  Dongwoo liked him; Dongwoo wanted him.  All of this time he’d been falling in love, had Dongwoo wanted to be with him?  Was it possible?  “I want to kiss you every day,” Woohyun said.  “I want to kiss you all of the time.”

            “Ah, your mouth turns me on so much,” Dongwoo said, cupping his face and kissing him.

            Woohyun had so many more questions, so much more to say, but with every stroke of Dongwoo’s tongue, words faded from his mind, until he found himself borrowing some of them from Dongwoo.  “My name is Nam Woohyun,” he said, kissing Dongwoo, his pulse racing.  “Please love me.”

            “Yes.”  Dongwoo’s voice was soft.  Their noses brushed, and for a moment, Woohyun just nuzzled against Dongwoo’s cheek, feeling his heart fill.  “Woohyun-ah, I do.  Every day I love you.  I’ll only love you more.”

            It was exactly what he’d needed to hear.  He took a moment to let it sink in, accepting it, believing it.  Dongwoo’s hands were sliding over his back, fingers circling his shoulder blades, palms cupping his ass, and he breathed against Dongwoo’s ear, closing his eyes.  It was a gift, a luxury, to be loved this well.

            Shouldn’t he say it in return?  What kind of jerk was he, to withhold what he so greedily devoured?  His conscience pricked him; he licked his lips.  “I love you,” he admitted.

            Dongwoo laughed softly, happily, and hugged him.  “Good.”

            He laughed, relieved at Dongwoo’s easy reaction.  He’d never had a boyfriend like this before.  It felt, at once, wonderfully familiar and like a fresh new adventure.  “I’ll try to be good to you.”

            “There’s.”  Dongwoo wriggled against him.  “Something.”  A lithe squirm.  “You could do for me.”  Dongwoo was grinding against him, letting him feel the renewed stiffness of Dongwoo’s cock.  “Interested?”

            “Mmm.”  Sliding his hand down, he cupped Dongwoo’s balls, then smirked, enjoying the sound of Dongwoo’s stuttering groan.  “Maybe.”

            “Ah, Woohyun-ah.”  Dongwoo undulated, kissing him, hips pushing up against him.  Dongwoo’s sexual frankness turned him on, and he indulged in long, deep kisses while he stroked Dongwoo’s cock.  Enjoying the breathless happiness of Dongwoo’s moans, he rode the undulations of Dongwoo’s needy, aroused body until he felt the slippery wetness of pre-cum leaking onto his fingers.

            Dongwoo’s moaning was taking on a pleading, insistent quality that only made him want to tease and draw things out.  The silken length of Dongwoo’s erection, however, was too great a pleasure to resist, and he slid downward without hesitation, moaning lustily as he sucked the head into his mouth.

            “Ah, ahh,” Dongwoo moaned, burying a hand in his hair, “yes, yes,” gripping his upper arm, “like that, yes.”

            Dongwoo’s fingers were digging into his arm, but discomfort was unfathomable when he had such a sexy cock in his mouth.  Admiring the blunt mushroom cap of the head, he stroked it with his tongue while his hand stroked the shaft.  Dongwoo’s legs were shifting around him, knees bending, feet tucking in, and just as he began to suck, Dongwoo started to thrust, pushing into his mouth.  The slide of Dongwoo’s cock between his lips, the sense of penetration, turned him on so much that he groaned in his eagerness, hungry for more.  Rocking upward, Dongwoo was groaning loudly, shamelessly, pleading, “Yes, suck it, suck it, please, ah, harder, uh, harder.”  Dongwoo’s heels dug in, Dongwoo’s cock driving into his mouth in quick, plunging thrusts, and he gripped Dongwoo’s muscular thighs, supporting, pulling, needing more of Dongwoo’s erection, all of it.  “Ah, so good, so good, your mouth, ah, oh, ah!” Dongwoo groaned, and cum filled Woohyun’s mouth in long spurts, spilling down his throat.

            Swallowing, he kept his head down, letting Dongwoo’s cock slip out of his mouth.  He was so turned on he felt like this had all been for his pleasure, not Dongwoo’s.  That thrusting!  God, Dongwoo’s hips were wicked.  Licking his lips, he stared at Dongwoo’s cock.  He wanted to put his mouth on it again, already.  His own erection was twitching like a wild thing and all he could think about was licking Dongwoo’s skin and making Dongwoo groan so sincerely, so fervently, so shamelessly again.

            Legs going lax, Dongwoo moaned softly, his hand slowly, slowly dropping from Woohyun’s hair.  “Oh.  Did you kill me?”

            Only Dongwoo could make him laugh when his cock was aching like this.  “No.”  Crawling upward, he looked down into Dongwoo’s face, smiling at the sight of Dongwoo’s dazed eyes and red cheeks.  Feeling as if he were breathing in Dongwoo’s pleasure, contentment filling his chest, he tapped Dongwoo’s mouth shut and pressed a kiss to it.  “Jang Dongwoo?  Nice to meet you.  What do you do for a living?”

            “I…”  Dongwoo licked his lips, then slid a hand over Woohyun’s ass, giving it a familiar squeeze.  “I’m a rapper.  I write my own lyrics.”

            Dongwoo’s sexual brazenness was rubbing off on him; he arched his back, pushing his ass more firmly against Dongwoo’s palm.  “Hobbies?”

            With a flirtatious smile, Dongwoo squeezed his ass again, thumb sliding tantalizingly, teasingly, along the cleft.  “For fun, I fuck my gorgeous boyfriend.”  Dongwoo’s free hand tipped up his chin, and he closed his eyes in pleasure as Dongwoo kissed his mouth.  “And tell him how much I love him.”



            The host passed around pepero sticks.  While Sunggyu grumbled and Hoya looked at the stick with skeptical indifference, Dongwoo pulled Woohyun aside.  “Practice,” he explained.

            “Oh, practice?” Woohyun asked, shifting to give the cameras a better angle.

            “Mmm.”  With a lewd curl of his tongue, Dongwoo dragged the tip of the stick into his mouth and rested both hands on the back of Woohyun’s neck, closing his eyes.  “Go.”

            Smiling, Woohyun splayed his hand at the base of Dongwoo’s throat, fingers curling over the neckline of his T-shirt to hold him in place.  Biting off the end of the stick, he slid closer, closer, until they were breathing on each other, noses brushing.  It was a delicious tease to deny himself what he wanted, to be so close to Dongwoo’s mouth and not kiss it, and he closed his eyes, imagining that he felt the soft press of Dongwoo’s lips.  With a sigh of pleasure, he bit down and pulled away, opening his eyes.

            The remaining piece fell into L’s waiting hand.  “Oh,” he said in surprise, bringing his palm to his face.  “Tiny!”

            Woohyun grinned at Dongwoo.  “Let’s win.”

            “We’ll win,” Dongwoo agreed, wrapping an arm around his waist and guiding him back toward the waiting host.  “Love you, I love you.  You’re very good at that.”

            He smiled, confident in the cozy warmth of Dongwoo’s affection.  “Practice helps.”



More fiction

Home  |  K-pop  |  tumblr  |  Twitter

 

Copyright August 10, 2013
by Matthew Haldeman-Time