Only Superficial

K-pop info and glossary
 
Infinite
Debut: 2010, Woollim Entertainment
Fan club: Inspirit
Name Real name Birth date Role
Sunggyu Kim Sunggyu April 28, 1989 leader, main vocal
Dongwoo Jang Dongwoo November 22, 1990 main rapper, lead dancer
Woohyun Nam Woohyun February 8, 1991 lead vocal
Hoya Lee Howon March 28, 1991 main dancer, lead rapper
Sungyeol Lee Sungyeol August 27, 1991 sub-vocal
L Kim Myungsoo March 13, 1992 visual, actor
Sungjong Lee Sungjong September 3, 1993 maknae
 
I write about men having sex with other men.  You must be eighteen or older to read my fiction.  This site is for consenting, responsible adults only.


            During a break in practice, Sunggyu was seated against the wall, mentally reviewing their schedule, when Woohyun sat down beside him.  “Yes,” Woohyun was saying, one hand holding his phone to his ear.  “Really?  Ah, I like that.”  He held out his hand and mouthed, “Phone.”

            What?  He had his own phone right there; why did he want Sunggyu’s?

            Woohyun slapped his thigh and mouthed, “Phone,” again with an irritated expression.

            Sighing, Sunggyu handed it over.

            Balancing Sunggyu’s phone on his knee, Woohyun started tapping at the screen.  “I’m putting you on speaker, okay?  Say hi to Sunggyu hyung.”  He handed the phone to Sunggyu.

            “Hello, Kim Sunggyu hyung,” Key said.

            “Hello, Kim Kibum sunbaenim,” Sunggyu said.

            “Woohyun, did you find it?” Key asked.  “He has red pants on.  They’re not as cute as the ones he used to wear, though.”

            Woohyun made his dramatically turned on and kind of frustrated noise, a low “uuhhnf” sound.  “I loved the pants he wore during their comeback.  So tight you could see everything.”

            “So tight you could see there was nothing there,” Key said, and Sunggyu laughed, surprised.

            “Just how I like it,” Woohyun murmured.  “Ah, I found it.”

            Resting an arm across Woohyun’s back, Sunggyu leaned in to see what was onscreen.  It was a promotional photo of a hoobae with slender shoulders and pouty lips.  “Pretty, yes?” Key asked.

            “So pretty,” Woohyun said.  “How old is he, eighteen?”

            “Twenty,” Key said triumphantly.  “Old enough to take out for the night.”

            “Old enough to keep in for the night,” Woohyun said, licking his lips.

            “Do you have to do this on my phone?” Sunggyu asked.

            Not replying to that, Woohyun took his own phone back from Sunggyu’s hand.  “Do you have his number?”

            “I’ll have it by tomorrow,” Key said.  “You want me to vet him for you?”

            “Yes, please, sunbaenim,” Woohyun said with a smile.

            “Mmm.  You know what I want in return.”

            Woohyun made an exasperated, regretful noise and grimaced, turning his face away.  “Key, no, I can’t.”

            “You know what I want,” Key said in a smug, melodic voice.

            “I can’t,” Woohyun said.  “Do you know what you’re asking me?”

            “It’s up to you,” Key said.  “Do you want him or not?”

            Holding the phone to his mouth, Woohyun said, “You’re a sick fuck.  A very, very sick fuck.  I would never pull this shit with you.”

            “Call me when you’re ready to trade,” Key said.

            Woohyun cursed under his breath and put his own phone down, picking up Sunggyu’s.

            “What does he want?” Sunggyu asked, curious.

            “Nothing.”  Woohyun leaned against his shoulder, gazing at the screen.  “Look at him.  Look at that neck.  Have you ever seen someone so pretty?”

            “Yeah,” Sunggyu said, and chuckled.  “The last hoobae you picked up from Key.”

            Woohyun laughed.  “And I got that one for free.”  He sighed, studying the photo.  “Shit, he looks like a great lay.”

            Did he?  Sunggyu didn’t think so, but his taste in guys was nothing like Woohyun’s.  “Can’t you get him without Key’s help?”

            “It’s so much easier when Key does it.  You know he has people who handle the details.”

            “Mmm.”  There was always a lot of back-and-forth crap between companies to make sure that idols’ reputations were protected.  When Woohyun tried to take his social life into his own hands, their manager tended not to like it.  “If he did you a favor for free last time, he’ll do it again.”  Key and Woohyun were best friends; Sunggyu was sure that Key wouldn’t actually withhold any information if Woohyun really wanted it.

            “Ugh.”  Woohyun rolled his eyes and gave back Sunggyu’s phone.  “He wants me to do something for him and he’s being a brat about it.  I’ve told him no a hundred times.”

            “What is it?”  He didn’t know why Woohyun wouldn’t just tell him.  They never kept anything from each other for long.

            “It’s nothing, it’s stupid, he’s so embarrassing.”

            Sunggyu checked the time.  “You ready to get back to work, or do you need to sit around jacking off to your hoobaes for a minute?”

            Laughing, Woohyun got up.  “Come on, our brave leader.  Let’s make these dongsaengs sweat.”

            Grinning, Sunggyu let Woohyun pull him to his feet.  “Is that what you and Key say when you’re picking up hoobaes?  ‘Let’s make these dongsaengs sweat?’”

            Woohyun flashed him a smug look, squeezing his hand and pulling him forward.  “Sweat isn’t the fluid I care about, hyung.”



            After practice, getting into the van for the drive back to the dorm, Sunggyu thumbed his phone on to find his pretty hoobae gazing up at him.  Embarrassed and irritated - - frustrated - - jealous, he was jealous - - he cleared the screen.

            All of the women Woohyun liked had the same look.  Athletic, tough, aggressive.  They tended to be a few years older than he was, and in support jobs - - lighting, staging, props.

            All of the guys Woohyun liked had the same look, too.  Smooth, waifish, over-styled.  They were always idols.  Hoobaes.  Younger than he was.  The more androgynous, the better.

            He picked up the women by flirting with them, and he got the guys through Key, who seemed to keep tabs on the sexual history and availability of every idol in the business.  He went out with them a couple of times, had sex a few times, and moved on.  According to him, it wasn’t that he lost interest; he just didn’t want to get attached, didn’t want them to get attached, wasn’t interested in emotional entanglements.  “I don’t have time for a relationship,” he always said.  “Besides, if I want someone to keep tabs on me and nag me and always be in my face, I have Sunggyu hyung.”

            Sunggyu’s taste in guys had always been kind of general, before.  He hadn’t been very picky.  He also hadn’t gotten very much action.  Becoming an idol had definitely made a vast difference in the amount of sex available to him, but it had also changed his tastes.  Narrowed his interest.  Given him a very specific idea about what he wanted in a guy.

            Before, asked about his ideal type, he would have said, “A guy.  Anyone around my age who’s interested and not a jerk.”

            Now, he would say, “A guy with broad shoulders and a great body.  Chocolate abs, muscular arms.  Gorgeous, thick hair you want to run your hands through.  A sexy, killer smile.  Smart and confident and really driven, so you can feel his passion and his determination burning in him onstage.  Someone who will laugh with me when I’m happy and cheer me up when I’m not.  Someone who works hard and knows what he wants out of life and makes sacrifices to get there.  Someone I respect and admire.  A dongsaeng I’m always proud of and always happy to talk to.”  He could go on forever.  Or he could sum it up simply: Nam Woohyun.



            Leaning over the bathroom sink the next morning, shaving, Sunggyu stared at his reflection.  The same face he’d always had stared right back at him.  He sucked in his cheeks for a moment, but it didn’t help; he looked nothing like those pretty hoobaes Woohyun liked to fuck.  Not from the neck up and not from the neck down, either.  Not even after the stylists were finished with him.

            Pointing a finger at his reflection, he said, “Inspirits want me.”

            “Sure they do, hyung,” L said, turning off the water in the shower.

            “I’m very handsome,” Sunggyu argued.  He tried to give the mirror a smoldering look, but he couldn’t hold it for long before he had to turn away, laughing.

            “That’s right, sexy,” Dongwoo said, passing him by with a smack on the ass.  “Go, out, my turn,” he said, dragging L from the shower.

            “Ah!  Hyung!  I’m trying to dry off!” L protested, slipping on the tile floor.  Sunggyu caught him around the waist with a grunt.

            “Dry off over there,” Dongwoo said, starting the water again.

            L grabbed the towel he’d dropped, then straightened.  “Did you let Woohyun hyung take your picture?”

            “Why?  Take my picture for what?” Sunggyu asked.

            L quickly gave him an innocent look.  “Nothing.  I’ll go get dressed.”

            Suspicious, Sunggyu watched him go.



            As they were gathering at the door to head out to the van, Sunggyu asked Woohyun, “You want to take a picture of me?”

            “No,” Woohyun said, and laughed.  “Why?”

            “What?” Sungyeol asked L.  “What are you giggling about?”

            “Nothing.”  L turned away, coughing lightly, then smiled, looking so innocent and wholesome and sincere that Sunggyu knew he was full of shit.  “Should we go?”

            “What?” Sunggyu asked L.  He just laughed and stepped behind Hoya, so Sunggyu reached for him, catching a handful of his shirt and dragging him forward.  “What’s going on?  What’s so funny to you?”

            “Nothing,” L said, still laughing.  “It’s nothing, hyung, honest.”

            Maintaining his hold on L, Sunggyu looked over at Woohyun.  “Do you know about this?”

            “I don’t know what’s going on with him,” Woohyun said.

            Sunggyu didn’t necessarily believe that, but he didn’t not believe it, either.  Deciding to let it go for the moment, he pushed L toward the door.  “Let’s go.”



            A few hours later, they were all standing around in the hallway, adjusting their mics and reviewing choreography, ready to go onstage.  Sunggyu was thinking about their rehearsal and reminding himself to leave room for Hoya to pass behind him after the chorus, when the back of Woohyun’s hand brushed his chest.  Looking up, he followed Woohyun’s line of sight and saw hoobaes walking past.

            Immediately, he recognized the pretty guy from his phone screen.  Everyone bowed, murmuring pleasantries, and Sunggyu tried not to be obvious about staring.  The guy was all round eyes and pouty lips and high cheekbones.  He was slender, almost delicate-looking, with his hair pulled back in a ponytail.  It took Sunggyu an extra moment to realize that he didn’t even have any make-up on; his face just looked that way on its own.

            Okay, now, seriously.  That had to be plastic surgery.  And his hair was probably fake extensions, anyway.  And since when was having a tiny cock a good thing?

            When they were out of sight, Woohyun turned around with a delighted, smug smile.  “Perfect.”

            Sunggyu crossed his arms over his chest.  Did Woohyun have to go directly from looking at that guy to looking at him?  They were in public, so he couldn’t say much, but he did say, “Plastic.”

            Woohyun grinned.  “Who cares?  We should thank his doctor for giving us something so pretty to look at.”

            L slid his arm around Woohyun’s shoulders.  “Woohyun hyung, my camera’s in the van, if you want to borrow it for - - oof!”  Doubling over as Woohyun’s elbow caught him in the gut, he laughed, twisting away, running behind the other members as Woohyun grabbed at him.

            “You!”  Woohyun caught up with him, pushing him back against the wall and holding him there.  Still laughing, L cringed as Woohyun whispered into his ear.  After a moment, L nodded, and they hugged.  Woohyun lightly slapped the back of L’s head and came back to Sunggyu, tossing his hair and straightening his shirt.

            “You’re going to tell me what that was about,” Sunggyu said.

            Woohyun smiled slightly.  “No, I’m not.”

            “After we get offstage.”

            Woohyun kept his calm half-smile.  “No.”

            “Ya!”  Sunggyu smacked his shoulder in amused disbelief.  “Who do you think you are?  I’m your hyung!  I’m your leader!  If I ask, you tell.”

            Woohyun laughed, shrugging.  “So don’t ask.”

            After their performance, back in the dressing room, before Woohyun even got back Sunggyu went straight to L, backing him into a corner and staring into his eyes.  “Woohyun, photo, what.”

            L tried the innocent look.  “I don’t know-”

            Sunggyu gripped the back of his neck and didn’t smile.  “Talk.”

            L laughed, looking handsome and charming.  “Hyung, I don’t know!  Ask Woohyun hyung.”

            Sunggyu tightened his grip and leaned in closer.  “I’m asking you.”  He wouldn’t care - - it couldn’t even be that serious - - but he was irritated that they were keeping something from him.  If they were more casual about it, he’d let it go, but Woohyun clearly didn’t want him to know about it.  Therefore, he had to know about it.

            L hesitated.  “You’ll protect me from Woohyun hyung?”

            Sensing victory, Sunggyu cupped L’s chin in his hand, smiling.  “Don’t I always look out for my dongsaengs?”

            “No?” L asked, and laughed.  Then he glanced past Sunggyu into the rest of the room; judging from the voices, there were too many people around for them to speak openly.  L hugged him, arms coming around him comfortably, and whispered in his ear.  “Key hyung wants a photo of you naked.  He wanted one before and Woohyun hyung gave him something else instead, but he won’t take anything else this time.  Woohyun hyung is too embarrassed to ask you.”

            Sunggyu couldn’t possibly have heard that right.  Cupping L’s face in both hands, he tried to read his expression.  “Photo?”

            L nodded as well as he could with Sunggyu holding onto his face.

            “Me?”

            L nodded.

            Sunggyu leaned closer and whispered into L’s ear, “Naked?”

            L chuckled in his ear.  “He wants to see your cock.”

            Backing up, Sunggyu waved his hands in helpless, bewildered shock.  “Why?”

            L grinned and held his forefingers a few inches apart, then moved them further and further away from each other.

            Mortified, Sunggyu caught his hands, pushing them down.  “Don’t!”

            L shrugged, smiling at him.  “Key hyung likes it.”

            And how would Key know - - unless Woohyun had told him?  Embarrassed, Sunggyu rubbed a hand over his face, wondering what that conversation had been like.  He’d heard Woohyun’s opinions on the subject plenty of times before.  It usually went something like, “I love giving it to guys with tiny cocks.  The bigger it is, it just gets messy.  I don’t want a lot of balls in my way - - I’m there to have a good time, not juggle.  And the bigger the cock, the more they want you to do with it.  I won’t go down on anybody over three inches.”  What else had he said to Key?  Did they sit around talking about their members’ cocks?

            L was inching away.  Sunggyu caught his arm and pulled him back.  “What did Woohyun give Key last time?  Instead of the photo?”

            L shifted closer and said, “Me.”  Smiling, he curled an arm around Sunggyu and whispered, “He took me over to Shinee’s dorm and Key hyung went down on me.”

            Shoving him away, Sunggyu stared at him, not sure whether to laugh or not.  “You’re lying!”

            “I’m not!  I wouldn’t make that up.”  L gave him a happy, embarrassed smile.  “It was terrific.  He’s so much better than-”  Cutting himself off, L looked over Sunggyu’s shoulder.  “Woohyun hyung.  Where have you been?  We’re about to go.”

            Sunggyu turned to find Woohyun regarding them with suspicion.  “What are you talking about?”

            “Nothing.”  L tossed his hair and looked completely calm.  “Did you talk to,” his eyes darted to one side where a PD was talking to their manager, “the guy?”

            “Yeah.”  Woohyun eyed Sunggyu warily.  “What were you talking about before I walked up?”

            “Nothing.”  Sunggyu tried to look normal.  L had to be full of shit.  Blowjobs?  Photos of his dick?  L had to be lying.

            Key did have a growing collection of photos of other idols, though.  Naked, or almost naked, usually with their faces covered.  There were a few that were so lewd, Sunggyu hadn’t believed that they were real until Key had pointed out identifying characteristics.  Sunggyu had asked him if he sent naked photos of himself in return, and Key had snorted and said, “No!  Do I look stupid?”

            But why would Key want a photo of him?  And if Key did, why hadn’t Woohyun asked him for it?  If his cock was the only thing standing between Woohyun and that hoobae, what was Woohyun waiting for?  Why shush L?

            Woohyun moved in on L.  There was an edge to his smile.  “What are you telling people?”

            “Nothing!” L insisted, laughing.  “What’s wrong with this suspicious hyung?  We’re waiting for you so we can go!”  He smiled, running his hand over Woohyun’s arm.  “Did you get his number?”

            “Of course.”  Woohyun tossed his head, grinning.  “He’s a very polite hoobae.”

            That was that, then.  “Kids,” Sunggyu said, turning.  “Let’s go.”



            The next couple of weeks played out as they always did.  Woohyun talked with the hoobae over the phone, then arranged for a few dates, getting Sungyeol to cover for him with their manager.  He strutted around proudly and told Sunggyu how amazing the sex was.  And then he decided that he’d had enough and pointed the hoobae in the direction of a few other idols who might be interested.

            Then, for a few weeks, he was all Sunggyu’s.  He was affectionate, he texted to check in whenever their schedules pulled them in separate directions, he laughed at every joke Sunggyu made.  They stayed up talking all night and fell asleep on the same pillow.

            Then, as he always did, he started to get restless.  He snapped a little more often and needled Sunggyu more often and touched Sunggyu less often, too.  Sunggyu didn’t know why he got so irritable when he was horny, or why he took it out on Sunggyu specifically, but that was the way it always went.

            There had been a couple of times - - two, exactly two - - when Woohyun had been like this and Sunggyu had been so aggravated by it that he’d gone ahead and risked everything and just asked, “Do you want to have sex with me, or what?”  After all, if Woohyun was this agitated over not getting laid, why not just grab whoever was nearby and available?  Did he really have to have someone with just the right look before he could get a hard-on?  Wasn’t Sunggyu good enough to get off with?

            Both times, Woohyun had given him a tense, disgusted look and said, “Stop joking,” and immediately walked away.  It had hurt like hell the first time, it had hurt even worse the second time, and Sunggyu hadn’t been able to face a third time.



            They were in the thick of Woohyun’s agitated period when Key stopped by the dorm with Jonghyun and chicken.  After everyone ate, Key pulled the three of them into Sunggyu and Woohyun’s room to talk.  As they settled on the floor together, Key asked Woohyun, “Any action lately?”

            “Ugh, I wish,” Woohyun said.

            “I might have someone for you,” Key said with a grin.  He nudged Jonghyun.  “Call.”

            “The things I do for this dongsaeng,” Jonghyun said, digging his phone out of his pocket.  While Jonghyun called, Key fixed his own bangs as if whoever they were calling could see his hair.

            “Hello?” a soft, husky voice asked.

            “It’s Jonghyun hyung,” Jonghyun said.  “I’m here with Kim Sunggyu hyung, Key, and Nam Woohyun.”

            “Oh,” the voice said, sounding flustered.  “Hi, hyung.”

            “Hey, baby,” Key said in English.  Jonghyun laughed and handed him the phone.

            Woohyun was mouthing something to Jonghyun.  Smiling, Jonghyun nodded.  Woohyun made his “Uuhhnf” sound and bowed until his forehead was on Jonghyun’s knee.  “Ugh, thank you, hyung.”

            Laughing, Jonghyun stroked his hair.  “You’re welcome.”

            Key was gesturing for them to shut up.  “Isn’t your comeback next week?”

            “Yes, hyung.”

            “We should go out to celebrate,” Key said.  “Would it be okay with your manager if your hyungs take you to dinner?”

            Comeback next week.  Was it that hoobae?  The one Woohyun had been chasing since last year’s debut?  He’d been begging Key for a way in, but Key had said the kid’s managers were too strict.

            “Ah,” the hoobae said.  “I don’t know.”

            Key glared at Jonghyun.

            Taking the phone back, Jonghyun said, “Ah, we won’t keep you out all night.  You have to eat, don’t you?  Hyung will take you somewhere nice.”

            “Oh,” the hoobae said breathlessly.  “Yes, hyung.  Thank you.”

            Woohyun rolled off of Jonghyun’s knee to sprawl across the floor, smiling like he could already feel the hoobae sliding onto his cock.

            “Are you working hard?” Jonghyun asked.  “Are you staying healthy?”

            “Yes, Jonghyun hyung.”

            “We’re looking forward to your comeback,” Jonghyun said.  “Fighting!”

            “Thank you, Jonghyun hyung.”

            “Bye bye, baby,” Key said as Jonghyun hung up.

            Sitting up, Woohyun bowed to Jonghyun again.  “You work miracles.”

            “Ya!”  Key tossed his head, looking indignant.  “I helped!”

            “You did nothing,” Jonghyun told Key, laughing.  “What did you do?”

            “A lot!” Key exclaimed, and then didn’t elaborate.  “We’ll give him another call in a few days,” he told Woohyun.  “If he can’t get out alone, we’ll take his leader with us.  We’ll buy them dinner and take them to noraebang.  After that, his pants should come right off.”

            “He might just want dinner,” Jonghyun said.  “I can’t promise you sex.  I’m not a pimp.”

            “I am,” Key said.  “If he won’t put out the first night, we’ll take him out again.  Or you can try the leader, he’s a sure thing.”

            “That fool?” Woohyun asked.  “Do I look desperate to you?”

            “What?” Jonghyun asked.  “He’s handsome.”

            “Woohyun doesn’t like handsome,” Sunggyu said.  “He likes pretty.”

            Woohyun flashed the arrogant smile Sunggyu loved.  “Pretty likes me.”



            Woohyun’s affair with this hoobae lasted longer than the others.  He even brought the hoobae to Infinite’s dorm.  Twice.  The first time on their way out for a date, the second time for sex.  Sunggyu couldn’t stand being in the dorm while Woohyun fucked some hoobae in their bedroom, where they talked and slept and spent their nights side-by-side, so he went with Dongwoo to practice for a while.  By the time they got back to the dorm, the hoobae was gone and Woohyun was sitting on Sunggyu’s blankets.  “You’re back,” Woohyun said, giving a start, like he hadn’t heard them arrive.

            “Yeah.”  Since Woohyun was in his space, he stretched out on Woohyun’s blankets.  When he tucked his face against the pillow, he didn’t smell sex or that hoobae, just Woohyun.

            “Where did you go?” Woohyun asked.

            “Where do you think?  To practice.”  He was so tired his eyes were already closing.  “Did he love your cock?”

            “Don’t they always?” Woohyun asked, but his voice didn’t have its usual confidence.

            Before Sunggyu could ask about that, he was asleep.



            Woohyun dated that hoobae for an extra week or so, then cut things off.  He was quiet, after that.  Maybe he regretted breaking up?  He’d liked this one more than the rest.  Maybe he was starting to think about a relationship.

            Sunggyu didn’t want to think about Woohyun with a real boyfriend, a long-term boyfriend, someone Woohyun really cared about.  He couldn’t face the thought of Woohyun being in love.  But it was going to happen, wasn’t it?  It would be a reality, sooner or later.  God, that hurt.  Sunggyu didn’t know how the hell he was going to handle it.

            Woohyun’s quietness turned into moodiness, then into depression and irritability.  He didn’t like anything, he was frustrated with everyone around him, and when he wasn’t snapping at people he was sitting away from them, staring miserably at nothing.  Dongwoo worried about him, Hoya told him to get over himself, and Sungjong tiptoed around him carefully.  Sunggyu couldn’t figure out what the problem was, unless he was pining for his hoobae, and that was the last thing Sunggyu wanted.  So it was something of a relief when Woohyun started asking Key for another sex partner.

            “I don’t have anybody for you,” Key said.  Woohyun was in a corner of the practice room, doing push-ups with Key on speaker; Sunggyu was close by, going through the hell of letting Hoya stretch his muscles.

            “There has to be someone,” Woohyun said.

            “There’s nobody,” Key said.  “I can’t help it if you go through guys faster than you go through toilet paper.”

            “What about the one with the tattoo on his thigh?”

            “Him?”  Key burst into laughter.  “I’m not pissing off his boyfriend just for you.”

            “Come on!  I’m dying over here.  I’m going to go wild if I don’t fuck somebody.”

            “Fuck L or Sungjong.  They’re pretty enough.”

            “Don’t be an ass.”

            Hoya made a thoughtful noise.  Sunggyu could hardly hear it over the sound of his muscles screaming, but he looked up.  “What?”

            Hoya shook his head.

            “Why are you so worried about his boyfriend?” Woohyun asked.  “You’re a pimp, aren’t you?  Shouldn’t you be able to get me whoever I want?”

            “Do you know a pimp who works for free?” Key asked.  “Get me what I want and I’ll think about it.”

            Snatching up his phone, Woohyun was out of the room so fast Sunggyu couldn’t move out of his contorted position quickly enough to see him go.

            “What was that?” Dongwoo asked.

            “Woohyun hyung doesn’t want Sunggyu hyung to know about the photo Key hyung’s asking for,” L said.  Then he made a parody of a surprised face and said, “Oh!  Oops!”

            “But Sunggyu hyung does know about it,” Dongwoo said.

            “We all know about it,” Sungjong said, stretching much more gracefully than Sunggyu was.  He sounded bored with the entire topic.

            “Really?” Sunggyu asked.  Oh, god, his thighs were on fire.  He squinched up his face so that Hoya would see that he was in pain and stop, but Hoya just grunted and pushed harder.  Sadist.  “Key really wants that photo?”

            “And Woohyun really doesn’t want you to know about it,” Sungyeol said.

            “How do you all know about it?” Sunggyu demanded.

            “L,” everyone said.

            L grinned.  “I think it’s funny.”

            “Why doesn’t Woohyun have sex with you?” Hoya asked.

            “With who?” L asked.

            “You,” Hoya said.  “Or Sungjong.”

            “Because he loves them,” Dongwoo said.  “He doesn’t treat those hoobaes like real people.  Did you notice?  It’s just sex, it’s not personal.  He doesn’t want to treat someone he loves the way he treats someone he has sex with.”

            “Are you making this up?” Sungyeol asked.

            “It’s true,” L said.

            “He said it to me,” Sungjong said, pushing his hair back and sitting up straight.  “Over a year ago.  He was really horny and I asked him if he wanted me to do it.  He told me that I’m a good dongsaeng and he didn’t want to use me.”  He shrugged.  “I didn’t care, I would have done it just to get him to shut up about how horny he was.”

            “I can’t have sex with someone I don’t care about,” Dongwoo said.  “Woohyun only has sex with people he doesn’t care about.”

            It wasn’t really a flattering idea, but Sunggyu couldn’t say that it wasn’t true.  “Why doesn’t he just ask me for the photo?”

            “Wouldn’t you say no anyway?” Sungyeol asked.

            “Of course I would!  I’m not giving Key a photo of my stuff!”

            “Your stuff?” Hoya repeated while everyone burst into laughter.

            “Really, hyung,” Sungyeol said.  “Aren’t you too old to be embarrassed to talk about it?”

            “My cock, my cock, my cock!” Sunggyu said while the members collapsed in laughter.  “Whatever.  Why won’t he ask me?  Woohyun loves trying to talk me into stupid things.”

            “Is that how you got that hairstyle?” Hoya asked.

            Sunggyu glared at him over one shoulder.  “If I could reach you, I’d punch you.”

            Hoya just grinned and tried to rip his legs apart in another stretch.



            They ran into Shinee backstage at a festival the next evening.  As soon as he saw an opening, Sunggyu pulled Key into a corner.  “Hey,” Key said with a flirtatious grin.

            Sunggyu made sure no one was within earshot, then whispered, “Have you ever given L head?”

            Key gave him a surprised look, then laughed.  “I’m not going to answer that!”

            “L already told me.  I just want to know if he’s making it up.”

            “Hyung.  That’s private.”  Key’s expression was scolding but teasing.  “I can’t tell you things like that.”  He smiled.  “Now, if you-”

            Suddenly, Woohyun was beside them, nudging Sunggyu back, looking from one face to the other.  “What’s this about?”

            Why did he care?  Why did it matter to him what Key and Sunggyu talked about?  Why was he so worried about a stupid thing like a request for a photo?  Sunggyu already knew all about Key’s photo collection, so why did Woohyun not want him to know that Key wanted a photo of him specifically?

            Sunggyu was tired of wondering about it and tired of waiting for Woohyun to make sense.  As soon as they got back to the dorm, he pushed Woohyun into their room and closed the door.

            “What?”  Woohyun looked surprised and annoyed.

            “Are you trading our dongsaengs to Key so you can get laid?”

            “What?!”

            “L said that you gave him to Key so that Key would get you a new hoobae.”

            “It was just a quick blowjob.  L loved it.”

            Then it was true.  Feeling his eyes widen, Sunggyu wasn’t sure what to say next.  “Key wants a photo of me?”

            Woohyun turned red.  “That little shit.  He told you.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sunggyu asked.  “If you’re so eager to get laid, why aren’t you trying to talk me into it so you can get more hoobaes from Key?”

            “You wouldn’t do it anyway.”

            “But why aren’t you trying to talk me into it?”

            “Oh?  How?” Woohyun asked.

            “It doesn’t have to be a photo, does it?  Can’t he just look at it in person?  Is that good enough?”

            “You want to show Key your cock?” Woohyun demanded like it was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard.

            “Isn’t that what you want?” Sunggyu asked, bewildered.  “If that’s what gets you laid, shouldn’t you be happy?”

            “No!  No, I’m not happy that you want to show Key your cock!  And it’s not just show,” Woohyun snapped.  “He’s going to want to see it hard, he’s going to want to touch it, he’s going to - - fuck it, fine, if that’s what you want, if you’re so fucking eager to shove your cock down Key’s throat, do it!  Do it!  Do it!”  Woohyun stormed past him, reaching for the door.

            “Ya!”  Grabbing his arm, Sunggyu yanked him back.  “What-”

            “Off!” Woohyun snapped, jerking his arm free.

            “What’s wrong with you?  Why are you being so weird about this?” Sunggyu demanded.

            “Do it!” Woohyun shouted again, glaring at him with pure ferocity.  “But don’t tell me, don’t take me, don’t involve me.  I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to be there when you-”  Cutting himself off, he turned away.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

            “What?” Sunggyu asked, astonished, worried about him, touching his shoulder, his arm.

            Grunting, Woohyun pushed him away.  “Go fuck Key.  I don’t even care.”

            “If you don’t care, why are you so angry?  If you don’t care, why are you keeping things from me?”

            With a frustrated roar, Woohyun shoved him back with more energy this time.  “How stupid are you?!  How much do you hate me?!”

            “Hate you?!”  Sunggyu didn’t understand anything about this conversation anymore.  “Hate what?  Hate why?  What do you mean?”

            Breathing hard, Woohyun turned away.  “Forget it.  Forget it.”

            “Nam Woohyun!”  Sunggyu pulled him back, holding onto him with both hands, trying to see into his eyes as he kept his face away.  “Talk to me!  I’m your hyung.  You can tell me everything.”  Woohyun wouldn’t look at him.  “Why are you acting like this?”

            When Woohyun finally met Sunggyu’s eyes, he looked so hurt and distressed and pleading that Sunggyu pulled him closer, wanting to hug him, wounded at the sight of his unhappiness.  “It wouldn’t be so bad between us, would it?  It wouldn’t be so terrible.  I know I’m not experienced in the things you like, but it could be good.”

            Between them?  “What?”  Sunggyu felt breathless.  “What are you talking about?”

            Woohyun pulled away from him but looked too drained to run now.  “I’m tired of silly hoobaes.  I’m tired of seducing people I won’t give a fuck about a month later.  I’m tired of putting so much energy into something that doesn’t even matter.  Can’t you even try?  Can’t you give me a chance?”

            “Try.”  Sunggyu stared at him in bafflement.  “Me and you?  You don’t want me.”

            Woohyun looked like he was choking on his own surprise.  “Who says I don’t want you?!  What kind of lie is that?”

            “Are you joking?” Sunggyu demanded.  “Look at me!  I’m not young and pretty!  I’m not plastic and androgynous!  You’ve never wanted anyone like me in your life!”

            “Hyung.”  Woohyun put his hands against Sunggyu’s chest, peering into his face.  “What is this?  Are you joking?  Should I laugh?  Those are the things I like about people I don’t care about.  It’s just sex, so how they look is all that matters, that’s all I’m interested in.  It’s only superficial.  That’s not how it is with you.”  His hands slid down to Sunggyu’s waist and his expression was open now, subtly beseeching.  “I love you.  You turn me on all of the time, with everything that you do.  You’re so much more handsome to me than any of them.  When they smile at me I don’t feel it anywhere except between my legs.  When you smile at me, I feel it everywhere.”

            Sunggyu had never heard Woohyun talk like this.  “You think I’m sexy?”  Wait.  “Are you in love with me?”

            Woohyun studied him warily.  “What if I say yes?”

            Caressing Woohyun’s cheek, Sunggyu smiled at him, feeling pain lift and jealousy roll away.  “I love you, too.”

            Woohyun blushed but smiled back at him.

            It felt so good to be smiled at like that, Sunggyu kissed his cheek, stroking his soft, thick hair and nuzzling against his cheek, wanting to be close.  “I didn’t know.  I thought you only liked certain kinds of guys.  I thought you’d never want me like that.”

            “Do you want me?”  Woohyun’s voice was quiet.  “I couldn’t tell you what Key was asking for.  It was so embarrassing, I was afraid that I’d give myself away, that you’d figure out how much I wanted it, too.  And I knew that if I asked you, you’d say no, but what if Key asked to see it in person, and what if you said yes.  Every time I think about standing there watching someone else suck your big, gorgeous cock, I want to stab him in the face.”

            “Don’t stab anyone in the face!” Sunggyu protested, laughing.  “Did I hide my feelings for you this well?  I thought that everyone could tell.  I want you every day, all of the time.  You turn me on every time you’re near me.”  Cupping Woohyun’s chin in one hand, he gazed into Woohyun’s eyes, smiling.  “My big, gorgeous cock?  Is that what you call it?”  He’d never imagined that he’d hear Woohyun talk this way, and he wanted to hear more.  A lot more.  “I thought you only liked little ones.”

            “I like you.”  Woohyun hugged him, smiling right into his face, the two of them just grinning broadly, happily at each other.  “I like everything about you.  Now tell me again how much you want me.”

            Sunggyu had imagined, in foolish and fanciful daydreams, what it would be like if Woohyun wanted him back and loved him like this.  How incredibly happy he’d be, how amazing it would feel.  He hadn’t ever realized how it would feel to make Woohyun that happy in return, to be the source of such joy in Woohyun’s expression.  He was indescribably happy, but he’d made his best friend happy, too, and that made everything even better.  “Do you know what it’s been like?”  He ran his hands over Woohyun’s back, down to Woohyun’s ass, and when he squeezed, Woohyun laughed, and he’d always loved making Woohyun laugh, always felt so good making Woohyun’s eyes sparkle like that.  “You bring this incredible, sexy body around me all of the time!  You give me that confident, sexy smile all of the time!  How many days have I not seen you naked?  Are you trying to kill me?  Have you ever looked at yourself?”

            Laughing, Woohyun was right against him, and he could feel hardness nudging him.  Realizing that Woohyun was aroused, that he was the one responsible for it, turned him on, and he cupped Woohyun’s ass, pulling Woohyun closer.  “Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Woohyun asked, shifting against him.

            His hands rubbed greedily over Woohyun’s hard, muscular body.  “I tried!  I asked you if you wanted sex.”

            “I thought you were joking!  Weren’t you teasing me?  How could I know that you meant it?”

            “I thought you only liked women and pretty boys!”

            “How could I want anymore more than I want you?”

            Sunggyu smiled, relieved and overjoyed and high with anticipation.  “What about how much you hate relationships?”

            “With other people!  Hyung, we’re already in a relationship.”

            He grinned.  “Am I your boyfriend?”

            Woohyun ground against him, kissing his jaw.  “Only if you fuck me.”

            He’d never kissed Woohyun before.  There had been games and playing around, but never a real kiss, never the way he’d wanted to.  Parting his lips, he gazed at Woohyun’s mouth.  So familiar, so red.  How many times had he stared and fantasized.  Wondered.  Lusted.

            “Hyung.”  Woohyun’s voice was low and breathless.  “Hurry.”

            He’d been so hurt and so jealous for so long.  Had Woohyun felt that way, too?  They’d been so stupid, so confused.  They’d missed so much.  They could have so much, now, they could share so much.  They’d gotten it wrong so badly for so long, he wanted to be sure that they did it right, now.  He ran the backs of his fingers over Woohyun’s cheek.  He’d never had enough of looking at this face.  “I love you.  Understand?”

            Woohyun blushed the way he did when he was really touched and delighted, the way he only ever did in the rarest moments, the way he only ever did for Sunggyu.  And how had that not been a clue?  “I love you, too, hyung.”

            Sunggyu kissed him.



            While the phone rang, Sunggyu crawled on top of Woohyun’s gorgeous, naked body.  When he flicked at Woohyun’s tight, red nipples, Woohyun laughed, pushing his hand away, head falling back.  Grinning, he leaned in and kissed the taut column of Woohyun’s neck, sucking lightly until Woohyun groaned with pleasure and pulled him closer.

            “Hello?” Key asked.

            “Say hi to Sunggyu hyung,” Woohyun said, running his hand over Sunggyu’s ass, across Sunggyu’s thigh.

            “Ah, hello, Kim Sunggyu hyung,” Key said.

            “Hello, Kim Kibum sunbaenim,” Sunggyu said.

            “You sound grotesquely happy,” Key said.  “I like it.”

            “I like it, too,” Woohyun said, grinning, his hand between Sunggyu’s thighs, passing intimately over Sunggyu’s cock.

            Laughing, Sunggyu kissed Woohyun’s happy mouth.  “We’re just calling to remind you that Woohyun won’t need any more phone numbers,” Sunggyu said.  “He doesn’t need any more favors or any more hook-ups.”

            “Not even that cute little hoobae with the frosted hair and the navel ring?” Key asked.  “He’s looking for a friendly sunbae.”

            “Mmm.  Is his name Kim Sunggyu?” Woohyun asked, fondling Sunggyu’s cock, sending tremors of heat racing up Sunggyu’s thighs.

            “No,” Key said.

            “Then forget about him,” Woohyun said.  “I only want that hyung.”

            “Mmm.  Send me lots of photos,” Key said.  “Lots and lots.”

            The rhythmic stroking of Woohyun’s hand was starting to make Sunggyu moan in a way he couldn’t control.  “No photos,” Woohyun said.  “Maybe I’ll let you look in person sometime.”

            “I like that,” Key said.  “Bye, hyung.”

            “Bye,” Sunggyu said as Woohyun hung up.  As soon as Key couldn’t hear, he groaned, kissing Woohyun’s familiar, lusting mouth.  “What about the hoobae with the navel ring?”

            “What about him?” Woohyun asked.  “Why are you wasting my time talking about some kid when you could be fucking me?”

            Laughing, he reached for the lube.  “What if he’s really cute?  What if he gives great head?”

            “Does he spend all day pestering me and bragging about himself?  Is he going to work me into exhaustion at practice and then take me home and fuck me until I fall asleep coming?  Does he have the world’s tightest eye smiles?”

            “Probably not,” Sunggyu admitted, rocking against Woohyun’s hand a little as he lubed up his fingers.

            “Then I don’t want him,” Woohyun said.  “Until you find me another Kim Sunggyu, all I want is you.”

            Sliding his finger inside Woohyun, Sunggyu grunted with desire and said, “My eyes aren’t that small.”

            “Oh, god,” Woohyun groaned, squeezing his cock.  “Shut up and fuck me.”



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Copyright July 26, 2013
by Matthew Haldeman-Time