Protective

K-pop info and glossary 

Who’s who chart of idols

This story is part of a series.

I write about men having sex with other men.  You must be eighteen or older to read my fiction.  This site is for consenting, responsible adults only.



            When Changjo wakened, he didn’t get up for a while.  He stayed in bed instead, propped his head on one hand, and watched L sleep.  He had a big smile on his face, but it was okay; no one else was in the room to see it.

            It was stupid, how happy he felt just watching some guy sleep.  He kind of had to be in love; there was no other way to explain the fluttery feeling in his stomach.  Maybe he just still felt good from last night; it could be residual pleasure from the smoking-hot incredible sex they’d had.  Or maybe he just liked how handsome L was; it made sense to appreciate a good-looking guy, right?  But, eh, he was pretty sure that it was love.  Embarrassing.  And he still couldn’t stop smiling like a goofy jerk.

            He leaned in until they were nose-to-nose and breathing on each other.  Staring at L’s closed eyes, he whispered, “I love you.”  No response, but that was okay with him.  He pulled down the sheets so he could take a good look at L’s junk, and then he tucked L in again.  Leaving a kiss on L’s bare shoulder, he got up.  Infinite’s dorm was still quiet, and he wanted to take advantage of it and poke around.

            He put on his boxer-briefs and one of L’s black T-shirts.  He visited the bathroom first, and then he checked his phone.  He had annoying messages reminding him what time he had to be back at his own dorm, and he had messages asking about last night and requesting photos, because everyone he knew was a horny perv.  He couldn’t blame them for being curious about L’s sex life, because he’d been hella curious about it, before, too.  He spent a moment sending back vague answers, privately gloating over having such intimate access to L when no one else did.  Then he got over it, because he knew it made L uncomfortable to feel like a prize.  Ugh, it was so awkward, having a conscience.  He was in love with L enough to know and care how L felt about private thoughts he had in his own head.  And he had enough morals to censor himself for someone else’s sake.  Was that love or maturity?  Either way, it was annoying.  Sulking, he texted Suho to complain.  Mainly because he knew that Suho would be proud of him, and he liked it when Suho praised him.

            He considered taking his phone around the dorm, but if he was caught with it, he’d be kicked out, and he couldn’t take that risk.  He could only push boundaries so far on Sunggyu’s turf, so he had to pick his battles, and this one wasn’t worth it.  So he set his phone back by the door.

            Time for a dorm tour!  The door to Sungjong’s room was open, and Sungyeol and Sungjong were asleep together.  They were naked.  Sungjong was curled up on one side, and Sungyeol was spooned up behind him.  It looked like they slept that way a lot, like they were really used to sharing a twin bed with each other.

            Changjo snuck in and looked the room over.  He poked around the closet and opened a few drawers, but he didn’t want to get too ambitious and be caught rummaging too obviously.  Besides, he’d already gone through Infinite’s dorm enough to know what he was likely to find and what he wasn’t, so he didn’t expect to uncover a lot of surprises.

            In Woohyun’s room, he found Woohyun and Hoya asleep together.  They were passed out hard, and they’d burrowed in against each other in a way that told him this was not a casual just-members sex-for-convenience kind of friendship.  Damn, he wished he had a camera.

            He was admiring their relaxed, muscular bodies and enjoying the way they were cuddled together and picturing how the sex might have gone, so it took him a minute to notice a detail.  There was something around Hoya’s wrist.  Intrigued, he crouched down to take a closer look.  It was a black strip of cloth, knotted around Hoya’s wrist with about six inches hanging loose.  Oooohh.  Liking this, he gave the two of them an appreciative look.  Had Woohyun been up to some kinky games last night?  Had the other end of the cloth been wrapped around Hoya’s other wrist, or around something else?  He looked under the bed and poked around the sheets as much as he thought he could get away with, but he didn’t see any other ties, or any toys.

            He lingered for a while, watching them sleep.  He kind of wanted to stay until they woke up, so he could see if Hoya would be embarrassed or matter-of-fact about the remnants of last night’s bondage.  But he had another room to check on, and he wanted to get back to L, so eventually he moved on.

            Sunggyu’s door was shut.  It usually was; Sunggyu didn’t trust him.  He took a second to remember the way that L knocked on doors, and then he mimicked the rhythm on Sunggyu’s door.

            “What is it?” Dongwoo’s voice asked.  “Come in.”

            Grinning, he opened the door.  Sunggyu and Dongwoo were still in bed.  Sunggyu was pulling up the sheet and trying to be modest, but Dongwoo was totally exposed and also totally unselfconscious about it.

            Ya, what do you want?” Sunggyu asked.  “Get out.”

            “Okay, I’ll go,” he lied, crawling onto the bed.

            “Out, get out,” Sunggyu protested.  Laughing, he tried to push Changjo away.

            Refusing to go, Changjo climbed in between them.  “You don’t seem to be going,” Dongwoo said, making room for him.  “How’s L?  You had a good sleepover?”  Dongwoo tugged lightly at his T-shirt, then sniffed him.  “This is L’s?  It smells like him.”

            “Don’t steal clothes,” Sunggyu scolded, carefully tucking the sheets around himself like he had to protect his chastity.

            “Should I take it off?” Changjo offered, starting to lift the hem.

            Ya!”  Laughing, Sunggyu yanked it down again.  “Stay dressed!  What are you doing here, go bother L, we don’t want you here.”

            “Okay, hyung, I’ll go.”  He rolled onto his side and smiled at Dongwoo.  “Did you sleep well?”

            “Sure.”  Dongwoo looked down when Sunggyu reached over and put a pillow over his naked groin.  He gave the pillow an interested look, then laughed.  “Should I cover up?  Hasn’t everyone seen it already?  Is it embarrassing?”

            “I don’t mind,” Changjo said.  He grinned and added, “I like it.  You have a great body, hyung.”

            “It’s healthy,” Dongwoo said.  “Everything works well.  How’s Chunji?”

            Changjo wished that Dongwoo hadn’t brought up that subject, of all things, in front of Sunggyu, because it dredged up too many negative associations.  He was sure that it reminded Sunggyu of how much Chunji had hurt Dongwoo before, and he didn’t need anything to put ideas in Sunggyu’s mind about Chunji hurting Dongwoo again, or Changjo hurting L, or anything like that.  But he couldn’t refuse to answer.  “He’s okay.  Xiumin hyung came over to our dorm and banged the hell out of him the other night.”

            Dongwoo’s face lit up.  “Lucky Mini!  I wish that I could play with them, too.  I don’t understand the ‘no threesomes’ rule.  Chunji and I get along, Chunji and Mini get along, Mini and I get along, why can’t we all get along together?”

            “Because you don’t have any sense,” Sunggyu said.  He batted at Changjo’s back.  “Get out, go.  If I can’t do you, you have no use to me in my bed.”

            “You could do me,” Changjo pointed out, rolling onto his back.  Easing his shirt up, he smiled at Sunggyu.  “I’m good at it.  I think you’d like it if you tried it.”

            “Anybody younger than Sungjong is off-limits,” Sunggyu said.

            “Really?”  Changjo pretended to be confused.  “Isn’t Chunji hyung’s birthday after Sungjong hyung’s?  I thought that Chunji hyung was younger.”

            “It’s a new rule,” Sunggyu said.  “As long as you’re awake, make breakfast.”

            “Make it how?” he asked, laughing.  “Does hyung think that I’m a cook?”

            His shirt was still up, and Dongwoo started touching his bare stomach.  It felt good, and he pushed the waistband of his underwear down a couple of inches to give Dongwoo plenty of room.  “I’m hungry, breakfast would be good.  Chunji’s filming again today, isn’t he?  Is he off tonight, do you think he can go out?”

            “You see him too often,” Sunggyu said.

            Dongwoo seemed to take that seriously, and he looked thoughtful while he kept petting Changjo.  “When it comes to Chunji, nothing feels like too often.  I don’t ever get enough, with him.”

            Really?  Changjo had way too much Chunji, sometimes.  “I don’t know if he’ll have time tonight, but you should ask.  If he’s busy, maybe you could see Lay hyung, instead.”  Everything that Changjo had seen and heard of Dongwoo and Lay together, made him want more.

            “Oh, yes, they’re back, aren’t they?” Dongwoo asked.  Sitting up, he patted around the bed.  He found a phone under a pillow, said, “Oh, this is yours,” gave it to Sunggyu, and kept looking.

            Changjo kept his face completely innocent.  “Did Suho hyung call?”

            Sunggyu hit him with the phone.  “Is it your business?”

            “Leaders together,” Dongwoo said.  “Maybe I should date a rapper.  Is L.Joe - - no, Sehun might not like it.  Is C.A.P. - - no, L might not like it.”  He laughed.  “Who else is there?”

            “You could date one of EXO’s rappers,” Changjo suggested.

            “There are rappers in EXO?” Sunggyu asked.  Changjo couldn’t help it, he snickered.

            “Sure, there’s Chanyeol, isn’t there?” Dongwoo asked.  “Ah.”  Coming up with his phone, he shifted comfortably, seated with the pillow knocked aside and completely forgotten.  He dialed a number, and the display said, “The Prettiest.”  Changjo wondered if Chunji had written that, but, no, Chunji would’ve put, “The Handsomest.”  He ran his hand through his hair, and Changjo admired his lean, wiry physique.

            “Ah, hyung?” Chunji asked.

            Dongwoo’s hand went right to his cock.  “Our Chunji.  Were you sleeping?”  Changjo stared, fascinated, as he rubbed at his cock.

            Then, so fast that Chunji hadn’t even answered yet, Sunggyu grabbed Changjo and wrestled him off of the bed.  “Out, and close the door behind you.”

            Not ready to leave yet, Changjo backed toward the door slowly.  As he watched Dongwoo fondle himself, he bought time by smoothing down his own clothes.  “Um, breakfast,” he remembered.  Pretending to be on the verge of going, he put one hand on the doorknob while he devoured Dongwoo with his eyes.  Dongwoo wasn’t self-conscious at all, not even a little bit.  “You wanted breakfast?”

            “You wanted to live?” Sunggyu asked.

            He could take a hint.  “Okay, see you,” he said, and slipped out of the room.

            When he got back, L was still asleep.  He climbed on top of L and covered L with himself like a blanket.  Relaxing in, he waited.

            It didn’t take long.  In moments, L was stirring under him.  Then he heard a confused grunt, and then L said, “Ugh, you,” and dumped him aside.  There wasn’t much room for him to go anywhere without falling off of the bed, and they spent a couple of minutes pushing at each other, not really wrestling or trying to win, just playing.  L’s smiling face made him happy, and he lost on purpose, relenting just so that L would crawl on top of him.  As soon as he was on his back under L, his heart started pounding, and he wanted to be kissed so much, he ached.

            Looking affectionate, eyes all full of stars, L brushed lightly at Changjo’s bangs.  “So cute,” L murmured, and then L kissed him.  It was exactly what he’d wanted, and he held onto L’s waist, needing L to stay.  When his tongue snaked into L’s mouth, L moaned, and he tugged on L’s hips, coaxing L down against himself.  Grinding against him, just a little, just enough to turn his whole body on, L moaned again.  L was completely naked against him, and his hands were all over L’s ass, cupping, rubbing, trying to get L to keep rocking against his cock.  Mmm, yes,” L breathed, and everything only got better from there.



            Infinite was in the building.  Changjo fidgeted, impatient, until the stylist was finished with him.  Then he slipped out of the dressing room and went upstairs.  Infinite was filming on the fourth floor.  He toyed with his phone and pretended to be busy and distracted for a few minutes, and then he saw someone he knew.  He struck up a conversation with her, and then he waited.

            L and Sungjong came around the corner.

            He smiled at the staff member, pretending to still be listening.

            L was approaching.

            He pretended to notice them for the first time.  Bowing respectfully, he said, “Oh, hello.”  Everyone else said hello, too, and he straightened, and his eyes and L’s locked, and for one long, intense moment, the stars in L’s eyes were only for him.  He smiled, and L said, “Teen Top fighting,” and he said, “Hyungs fighting,” and he was totally in love, and L was his boyfriend, and the next time they saw each other they were going to have really amazing sex.  L and Sungjong kept walking, and he gave the staff member a pleasant, expectant look, and she went back into her story like nothing had happened.



            The festival was in one of those venues with too few, too-small dressing rooms.  Infinite and Teen Top had to share a room, which was ideal, as far as L was concerned.  The Teen Top members amused his members and kept everyone’s mood up, and he got to be with Changjo.  But another group was in there with them, and that was annoying.

            What was even more annoying was that one of them wouldn’t leave him alone.  It was someone who’d been after him for a long time and didn’t like to take no for an answer.  He tried to go along and be polite, just to keep things civil, but the guy’s attention was obnoxiously insistent.  He didn’t want to be rude, but he didn’t like this guy, and he didn’t want to be flirted with, and he really wanted to make it stop.  He put up with it for as long as he could, until the touching went too far and the conversation turned obscene.  When things got to the point where he couldn’t take it anymore, he left.  He excused himself and went into the hallway.

            He wanted to be alone, but he had nowhere to go.  He walked away quickly, needing to put distance between himself and that guy, between himself and unwanted attention.  His head down, his hands in his pockets, he walked without paying attention to his surroundings, just getting away, mentally and emotionally closing in on himself.  That worked for a couple of minutes, and then someone tried to talk to him.  He put on a false front of polite friendliness, and he used that as his armor until he found a bathroom.  He went into a stall and just stood there for a while.  He wasn’t going to go back to the dressing room until he had to, but he had nowhere else to go, so he waited, silent and unmoving, while time passed.

            His phone pinged.  Sungyeol wanted to know where he’d gone.

            Changjo had to be out of the stylist’s chair.  He was missing time with Changjo.  Fuck.  Furious with that other idol, frustrated with himself, he turned in a circle in the stall’s confines.  He couldn’t let some asshole get between him and Changjo, but he didn’t want to go back.  Suddenly feeling exhausted, he leaned against the wall, staring moodily at nothing.

            Sungyeol called.  He answered.  Ya, where are you?” Sungyeol asked.  “Come back, we have to go on soon, you don’t even have your mike.”

            “Yeah.”  He hung up and stood there for another minute, unmoving.  Then, rousing himself, he left the stall.

            He didn’t care about that other idol at all anymore.  He was upset about walking away when he could’ve spent time with Changjo, though.  Regretting that, he hurried on his way back, wanting to see Changjo.  But when he got to the dressing room, Teen Top was already gone.

            He didn’t see Changjo again until sometime later.  They were all on the ending stage together, and when he looked around, he saw Changjo and the other idol side-by-side, laughing and talking.  L couldn’t be obvious about watching, not with so many cameras around, but he hated seeing the two of them together.  He wanted to go over and rip them apart.  He couldn’t stand the thought of that obnoxious asshole making a move on Changjo.

            Logically, L knew that Changjo could handle himself, but logic wasn’t playing a large role in L’s mind at that point.  Watching them together, he felt sick and sad, and he felt angry, and he felt a little bit desperate.  He had to separate them, but how?  He couldn’t physically carry Changjo off.  And he didn’t want to act too protective and draw too much attention to his relationship with Changjo; not in front of cameras, and not in front of someone so willfully dedicated to exploiting weaknesses and crossing boundaries.

            And then he realized what he could do.  It was so simple, he smiled.  He moved across the stage, waving to fans and speaking to other idols.  In his own way, he was making a beeline for Changjo, but to anyone else’s eyes, he was simply meandering and mingling.

            The two of them were still together, talking, laughing.  Changjo was so hugely important to L, and so incredibly precious to him, that just the sight of Changjo was like a punch to the gut.  And Changjo looked so friendly and curious and innocent, it made him look young, as young as he always tried to convince everyone that he wasn’t.

            Moving in, L smiled, tapping the guy on the shoulder.  When he turned around, L flashed dimples and said, “Great performance.  You’ve worked hard.”

            “Hey, thanks,” the guy said, smiling right back at him and putting a hand on his arm.

            L scratched his ear, pretending to be harmless and friendly.  “What are you doing later?  Going out?”

            He had all of the guy’s attention now; Changjo might as well have disappeared altogether.  It was exactly what he’d wanted.  He smiled and joked and flirted, and they made plans to meet later in the week, and he had no intention of ever keeping that appointment, but the guy didn’t need to know that.

            With the festival over, they gave one last wave to the fans.  As soon as they were offstage, the guy’s members pulled him away.  L said a cheerful good-bye, content to see him go.

            Problem solved.  L strolled toward the dressing room, in no rush, hoping that the other team would be gone entirely by the time he got there.  Oh, but he didn’t want to miss Teen Top!  With that thought, he sped up, pulling off his mike.

            When he got to the dressing room, everyone else was there, getting ready to take off.  He couldn’t believe it when he saw that the other idol and Changjo were talking to each other again!  The other idol laughed and put a hand on Changjo’s arm, and Changjo said something and moved closer, and the other idol’s hand was on Changjo’s chest, and L was already moving across the room, closing in on them.

            Before he could get there, they were saying good-bye, smiling at each other like they had plans to screw later.  He held himself in check just long enough for the guy to walk away, and then he was moving in so close, he could smell Changjo’s sweat and cologne.  “Don’t,” he whispered, having so much trouble keeping his hands to himself that he had to put them in his pockets.  “Don’t talk to him, he’s no good.”  Telling Changjo not to do something was mostly only effective as a way to encourage Changjo to do it, but he felt so protective, he couldn’t censor himself.

            “I know,” Changjo whispered.  He smiled and waved at someone across the room.  Then he turned his back to the rest of the room, picking up a bottle of water.  “You’d better not see him, I mean it.”

            “I won’t,” he said, surprised.  Changjo knew him too well to think that he’d go through with something like that.  Unless Changjo thought that he and the guy were actually close?  But Changjo had just agreed with him about - - wait, what was going on here?

            He remembered, suddenly, how innocent and cute Changjo had looked earlier, talking to the guy onstage.

            Being cute was an act.  An adorable act Changjo put on to please and amuse and weaken people he liked; an act he used to manipulate people he didn’t like into taking him lightly.  It was only not an act, only his genuine state, with the people he was closest to, and that other idol definitely wasn’t on that list.  So either he’d been trying to charm that idol, or he’d been trying to get that other idol to underestimate him.

            And this was Changjo.  Abruptly, L felt incredibly stupid.  He’d felt so protective, so panicked at the thought of some obnoxious predator getting his hands on Changjo, that he’d forgotten who he was dealing with.  There was no way that Changjo would talk to that guy for a minute and not see exactly what kind of asshole he was.  And that idol had been in the industry long enough for Changjo to have heard all about him already.

            Changjo had been playing young and cute on purpose.  Shit, had Changjo drawn the guy’s attention on purpose?  “Why were you talking to him?” L asked quietly, trying to read Changjo’s face.

            Changjo looked annoyed.  “I was getting him to like me, before you showed up,” he whispered.

            Getting him to like him?  “Why?”

            More annoyed.  “So I could fuck him up, that’s why.”  Changjo coughed and rubbed his nose, probably trying to cover for having just cursed in public.  His gaze darted from side to side, and when nothing happened, he shot a quick glare at L and whispered, “He was bothering you.”

            Oh, shit.  L wanted to laugh and hug him, right then and there.  “Changjo-ah,” he whispered, smoothing Changjo’s hair.  “You can’t destroy everybody you don’t like.  You can’t declare war on everybody I don’t like.”

            “It would be easy,” Changjo said.  “It would all be over in like a week.”

            “What would, his career?” L teased.

            Changjo nodded.

            This kid!  L hugged him.  “Don’t worry about it.”

            Changjo hugged him too hard.  You don’t worry about it.  I’ll take care of everything.”

            “Maknae!” C.A.P. called.

            L looked into his eyes, loving him completely and needing him to absorb this information.  “Don’t do anything.  Okay?  I mean it.  I’m telling you,” L gave him a little shake, “leave it alone.”

            He sulked.

            “Maknae!” Chunji shouted.

            “Maknae!” L.Joe shouted.

            “Maknae!” Niel shouted.

            Mak-” C.A.P. began again.

            “My turn, mine,” Ricky complained.  “Maknae!” he yelled.

            “Don’t do anything,” L repeated, stroking Changjo’s hair again.

            Changjo grimaced, patting at his hair.  “You’re going to mess it up.”

            He wasn’t agreeing, which meant that he still completely intended to wreak vengeance.  “Promise me that you won’t do anything.”

            “That’s it, we’re leaving without him,” Chunji decided.

            L crossed his arms over his chest and whispered, “If you won’t agree, I’m going to talk to C.A.P. about it.”  C.A.P. would keep Changjo away from the idol and confiscate his phone.  Not to please L, but to keep Changjo out of trouble.

            Changjo looked stubborn, then looked annoyed.  “I can’t talk about it here,” he whispered.  “I won’t do anything now, but we’ll talk about it later.”

            That was okay.  It was a good compromise.  And L agreed, he wanted to talk about it, and they couldn’t have an honest conversation here in public.  “We’ll talk later.”

            “Hey, how’s it going?” C.A.P. asked L.  He grabbed Changjo by the ear.  “We’re leaving now.”

            “I, ow!  Hyung, I, ow!  We were saying good-bye!  Ouch!”

            Smiling, L waved good-bye.



            “So we were stuck at practice forever,” Changjo explained.  On his back on Niel’s bed, he walked his feet up the wall.

            “Good, you need it,” L said.

            “Okay, I’ll hang up first,” he said.

            L laughed, and he liked the sound of it so much, he smiled.  “Ah, don’t be sensitive.”

            He stretched his legs to touch his toes to a higher point.  He could almost reach the mark where L.Joe had thrown a shoe at the wall.  Mmm, almost.  Concentrating, he wiggled his toes, trying to touch it.  “You saw Suho hyung?”

            “Yeah.”

            Immediately, L had all of his attention.  Relaxing his legs, he focused on the conversation.  Something was wrong; L’s tone was off.  “How is he?”

            “Ah, he’s fine.”

            Changjo could practically see L trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong.  “Tell me everything.”  He had to know all of it.  He had to gather all of the information possible so that he could fix the problem.  Had Suho said something to upset L?  Had L done something to upset Suho?  Was something going on with Suho that he didn’t know about?  Mentally, he scanned his last conversation with Suho for clues.  At the time, he’d mostly been gloating over the fact that Suho had said, “Ah, that hyung of yours, he’s too handsome.”

            “It’s nothing,” L said.  “We only went to dinner.  We bumped into someone…”

            The way L’s voice trailed off, the way he didn’t finish his thought, made Changjo sit straight up in bed.  “Bumped into who?”

            “Ah, nobody,” L said, but he didn’t sound very convincing.

            While Changjo focused on ways to pry information out of L, in the back of his mind, he was already forming other strategies.  He’d simply ask Suho about it, and Suho would tell him everything.  If he had to, he’d just look on-line; fans would have photos of it.

            “I,” L said.  “No.  Shit,” he muttered to himself.  He made a frustrated sound.

            “What?” Changjo demanded.  “What is it?”

            A resigned sigh.  “Changjo-ah.  I want to talk to you.  Can you come over?”

            Already, Changjo was up and off of the bed.  “C.A.P. hyung!”

            It wasn’t the simplest thing in the world, but an hour later, Changjo was at Infinite’s dorm.  Sunggyu scolded him for coming over so late and making a nuisance of himself, warned him not to keep L up all night, and smacked L in the back of the head.  When the lecture was finally over, they went into L’s room.  Closing the door, L said, “Sorry.”

            “It’s okay.”  He sat on the side of L’s bed, bouncing a little.

            “You didn’t have trouble coming over?  I thought that C.A.P. wouldn’t let you.”

            “He said no, but I blew Chunji hyung.”

            L smiled, standing over him and toying with his hair.  Chunji?  Not C.A.P.?”

            Mmm.”  Cupping L’s hips, he guided L closer, burying his face in the soft cotton of L’s sweatshirt.  Then he looked up, tapping his fingers against L’s waist.  “What happened with Suho hyung?”

            Frowning, L pulled away.  Then he sat on the bed, tucking his legs in.  He looked conflicted, and after scratching the back of his head, he laughed.  “I don’t know if I should tell you.”

            “Why?”

            L bit his lip, studying Changjo with solemn eyes.  “I want you to hurt somebody.  And I don’t think that’s right.”

            “Not Suho hyung?” he asked, to make sure.

            L blinked at him, surprised.  “No!  Not Suho hyung.”

            “Good, then sic me on him.  Who is it?  Eyebrows?”

            “Eyebrows?” L repeated.

            He nodded.  During the ride to Infinite’s dorm, he’d used his phone to check in on fan accounts and sasaeng activity.  “That old man with the eyebrows was at the restaurant with you tonight.”

            L burst into laughter.  “Old man!  He’s only a year older than I am!”

            “Right, he’s practically a grandpa.”

            “Eyebrows,” L said again.  “I think that he thinks that they’re his charm point.”

            “He’s wrong.  What did he do, he made you uncomfortable?  Was he bothering you?”

            “Not me,” L said.  He hesitated, and Changjo tensed.  “The way he treats Suho hyung…”  He frowned at the bed, then met Changjo’s eyes.  “I don’t like it.”

            Changjo was already on his feet and heading for the door when L grabbed his wrist.

            Ya!  Where are you going?” L asked, pulling him back.

            “I’m calling C.A.P. hyung,” he said, trying to tug himself free.

            “C.A.P.?  For what?” L asked, not letting go.

            “To make plans.”

            “What - - ya!”  L yanked harder, and he gave in, sitting on the bed again, facing L.  Looking exasperated, L said, “I don’t want you to go and beat somebody up!”

            “Why not?  It’s for Suho hyung!  For just anybody, C.A.P. hyung wouldn’t do it, but he will for Suho hyung’s sake.  We’ll just find the right time and-”

            “Why are you like this?” L demanded, laughing.  Clasping his shoulder, L gave him a quick shake.  “I don’t want that!  I just want things to be uncomfortable for him.  I just want him to stop.”

            “Then why me?  You can do that yourself.”  Not that he wanted to be left out of it.  He’d be glad to make someone think twice before bothering Suho, or anyone else, ever again.  But if it was that simple, L didn’t need his help.

            L bit his lip and looked guilty.  “Suho hyung told me not to do anything.  I don’t like the way that Eyebrows treats him.  Eyebrows takes him too lightly, and touches him too much, and talks to him like they’re close, when they’re not.  He shouldn’t have to put up with it, but he’s too polite, he doesn’t want to cause problems.  It’s not the first time, I’ve seen it before, and the way that Eyebrows jokes about Suho hyung and talks about him in public, I don’t like it.”

            “Talks about him?” Changjo repeated.

            “On variety shows.  On the radio, too.  He uses Suho hyung’s name in every sentence out of his mouth, and he acts like they’re a lot closer than they are.  It’s not right.  Suho hyung’s too careful with his image for someone else to tarnish it like that.”

            “You should’ve told me this before!  I didn’t know!”

            “Suho hyung wouldn’t like it if we took on his problems for him,” L said.  “Tonight, I said that he should say something to Eyebrows, or that I could say something, and he told me not to.”  L held his gaze.  “But if he hasn’t told you not to…”

            Changjo nodded.  He’d handle it.

            “But Suho hyung wouldn’t like to hear that we interfered.”

            Right.  So no one would ever have to know that he’d had anything to do with it.  If Eyebrows’ behavior changed, who could really say what had caused it?  “Do you want me to tell you what I’m going to do?”

            L shook his head.  “But don’t go too far.”

            Changjo snorted.

            L smiled.  Ya, don’t,” he insisted, rubbing Changjo’s arm.  “No beating anyone up, and don’t go too far with other things.  He’s not a criminal, he’s just an asshole.”

            He’d do more research and consider his options.  “I’ll think about it.”

            L sighed, then pulled him close and kissed him.  L gazed into his eyes and started to smile, stroking his hair.  He liked being smiled at like that, and he kissed L back, and L hummed a little, kissing him again and again, soft kisses, tender chaste kisses that made him want more.  “Here, come here,” L murmured, hand stealing over his thigh.

            Hell, yes.  He pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside, and then he was climbing on top of L and L was pulling him down and they were kissing deep, making out, rolling into the wall and back again.  He was so hot for L all of the time that just one kiss pushed all of his buttons, and he felt driven to make something happen.  He was so turned on that he was kissing L urgently, grinding against L, taking off more clothes.  L, meanwhile, was wrapping around him like a parasite and slowly trying to devour him, consuming him in one deep, sensual kiss after another.  “Yeah, right, I love you, too,” he said, to get it out of the way.

            Mmm.”  Cupping his face in both hands, L stared into his eyes so intently that he felt like there was no way anyone should be able to see so deeply inside him like that.  “Fuck, I love you so much,” L muttered, and then kissed him again, trying to suck his soul right out of him.

            They made out forever, and then L went down on him, and it was so good, his whole body vibrated when he came.  Then they made out for about eight million more hours, and by the time he got L naked and inside of him, he needed it so much, he felt lit up like an electric fence.  L was on top of him, moving against him, thrusting into him in a slow, steady rhythm that pumped ecstasy right into his veins.  The way L looked down at him, smiling at him like he felt good, made him feel really special and sexy, and shit, that was embarrassing.  And then L stopped just to kiss him, rubbing his cheek and kissing him tenderly and gazing into his eyes and telling him things like, “I love you,” and, “I’m so glad you came over tonight,” and, “Keep moaning like that, I want my hyungs to hear the way you sound when you’re stuffed full of my fat cock.”

            That turned him on so much that he started rubbing himself.  L fucked him slow and deep, and he made enough noise to keep the whole dorm awake, and when he got off, L came with him, looking blissful and moaning, “Oh, oh, ooooohhh, Changjo-ah, yes, my Changjo.”  Eyes closing, L smiled dreamily.  When he touched L’s cheek, L’s eyes opened, and the way L looked down at him, like he was the most beautiful, satisfying thing in L’s life, made him feel like L really did love him.  He smiled back, and L melted down over him like he was completely irresistible, and then they were kissing again.

            They made out for a long time, all over again.  And then L went down on him again, giving him a slow, thorough blowjob, spending so long down there he was pretty sure that L liked his cock as much as he did.  He’d already gotten off enough that he held on for a while, letting the pleasure build, riding with it, squirming around and letting L play.  When he finally came, his body shook with cataclysmic force, and he cried out helplessly, the strength of his orgasm wrenching sound from him as he spurted and spurted in L’s mouth.

            Drained, he collapsed, panting.  Damn, he loved sex, and damn, he loved L, and damn, his life was good.  L crawled over him, nuzzling his abs, licking his pecs, and he drifted, drowsy and blissful, soaking up L’s affection, making encouraging noises so L would keep going.  L was totally hot for his body, and kind of obsessive, so the nuzzling went on for a while.  Then he pulled L into a tight hug, and L snuggled right in, as close as possible without actually being inside him again.  He was so sated and so well-loved, he fell right to sleep with the familiar sensation of L still lightly gnawing on his shoulder.



            Changjo hadn’t replied to any of his texts.  Frowning, L scrolled through his messages, double-checking.  Changjo hadn’t said anything since asking for a selca first thing that morning.

            He called.

            “Ah, is this L hyung?” someone asked.

Ya, who’s this?”

            “It’s Chunji.  Changjo doesn’t have his phone right now.”

            That brat.  In trouble again?  “I’ll come over.”

            “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, hyung.  Maybe another time.”

            “Where are you?”  He checked the time.  “At the dorm?”

            “Yes, but-”

            “I’ll be there soon.”

            He almost left just as he was, but at the door, he glanced down at himself and reconsidered.  He washed up and changed into better clothes.  Once his hair looked okay, he left.

            Niel opened the door for him.  “L hyung.  Hello.”  Niel looked unsure about what to do with him.  “Uh, C.A.P. hyung?  L hyung’s here.”

            “Well, let him in,” L.Joe said, tugging Niel away from the door.

            “Are we allowed to have visitors?” Niel asked, shooting L a dubious look.

            L went in, pushing the door shut, and took off his shoes.  “Where’s Changjo?  In his room?”

            “Ah, you came,” C.A.P. said.  Niel’s eyes widened at the sound of C.A.P.’s voice, and L.Joe scurried away.  C.A.P. seemed so normal and relaxed, it made his members’ fear even funnier, and L smiled as he approached.  “It’s not a good night for a visit.”  C.A.P.’s eyes narrowed, and he looked over his shoulder.  “I don’t hear any counting.”

            “One hundred seven,” Ricky said, breathless and desperate.  “One hundred eight.”  It sounded like he was in the kitchen.

            “Changjo was supposed to come over tonight,” L explained.

            “One hundred nine.  One hundred ten.”

            C.A.P. shook his head.  “He’s not going anywhere.”

            “One hundred eleven.  One hundred twelve.”

            “I can’t see him at all?  Not for a few minutes?”

            “He’s not going to see you, friends, or daylight, if I can help it.”  C.A.P. shrugged.  “You can hang out with Chunji, if you want, he’s around.”

            What would he want with Chunji?

            C.A.P. grinned at him.

            He chuckled.  He was glad that he and C.A.P. were at least on speaking terms again; there weren’t too many people who knew him this well.  “What’d Changjo do?”

            “Nothing!” Niel said hastily from the couch.  “Nothing.”

            C.A.P. rolled his eyes.  “If it’s that embarrassing to talk about, then don’t fucking do it in the first place.”

            L.Joe’s being weird again,” Chunji said, coming into the room.  He gave L a curious onceover.

            “What’d you say to him?” C.A.P. asked.

            “Nothing.”  Chunji grinned unrepentantly.  “I just asked him if L hyung was here, and how he looked, and if L.Joe wanted to be his sexy baby tonight if Changjo can’t do it.”

            C.A.P. pushed Chunji out of his way.  “Stop starting shit,” he said, heading for the bedrooms.  “I’ll talk to him.  Make out with L.”

            “Talking won’t help,” Chunji called after C.A.P.  Then he said, “Ew,” and looked at L and laughed.

            Ew?” L repeated.  He didn’t remember Chunji ever saying that to him before.  He never thought about sex with Chunji at all, actually, but now that they’d brought it up, he had to admit, those were some pretty, um, positive memories.

            He heard a thud and a yelp.  It didn’t sound like Changjo, but-

            L.Joe,” Chunji said.

            If C.A.P. was busy, then who was going to stop him from seeing Changjo?  “I’ll leave soon,” he said, and headed for Changjo’s room.

            “Hyung,” Chunji said.  “Wait, ah, shit.”

            He knocked lightly on Changjo’s door.

            “Hyung, really,” Chunji said behind him.  In the background, Ricky was still counting.

            “What?” Changjo demanded belligerently, snatching the door open.  Scowling, he was naked to the waist, his hair rumpled.  He looked like he’d been asleep, and his eyes widened in surprise when he saw L.  “Hyung?”

            “I can’t stay,” L said, and kissed him.  Mmm, oh, kissing him was one of L’s favorite things, one of life’s purest pleasures.  His soft, bare skin felt warm under L’s hands, and his muscular body was so sexy, its seductive power drew L in.  Caressing him all over, stroking his taut, gorgeous body, L kissed him more and more deeply, wanting to blend into him.

            “Suck me,” Changjo whispered, backing him against the door.  He could’ve stayed there with his back against the door and Changjo’s sensual heat pressed against the front of him for hours.  Days.  A lifetime.  “Suck me, you know you want to.”

            “Shut up,” L said, because he did want to, he’d love to.  “Stop getting in trouble,” he complained, mumbling it between kisses.  Deep, compelling, sexy kisses.  “We can’t see each other if you’re always being punished.”

            “I didn’t do anything,” Changjo said, still kissing, the corded muscles in his back shifting at L’s touch.  Niel hyung wanted it, anyway.”

            “Kim Myungsoo.”  C.A.P.’s arm coiled around his neck, dragging him away from Changjo.  “Encouraging misbehavior?” C.A.P. asked, nose pressed against his ear, voice threateningly deep.

            “I couldn’t stop him,” Chunji said.  “He’s a hyung, I couldn’t do anything.”

            Anger flashed over Changjo’s face, and he glared at C.A.P.  “What are you going to do, punish him, too?  Push him around?  He’s not someone you can beat into submission.”

            “Stop before you get into more trouble,” L chided.  He pulled away from C.A.P.  “Let me stay for a few minutes, and I’ll go.”

            “No visits,” C.A.P. said.  “You’ve had enough.”

            He hadn’t had nearly enough.  He still felt warm where Changjo’s hands had cupped his face.  “I can’t do anything?”

            C.A.P. laughed.  “What are you going to do, pay me off in autographs?”

            Chunji hyung’s not being punished, is he?” Changjo asked suddenly.  “L hyung, you could take Chunji hyung with you when you leave, right?  Maybe he could visit Dongwoo hyung tonight.”

            “Yes,” Chunji said immediately.

            “Why do you think I care where Chunji goes?” C.A.P. asked.  “I’m not making your punishment lighter just so Chunji can go off and get laid.  At least be smart and help me get laid.”

            “Here, I’ll blow you right now,” Chunji said.  “And then I can go, right?”

            “That’s great, that’ll show off Teen Top’s class,” C.A.P. said.  “You’re going to show up at Dongwoo hyung’s door with someone else’s cum in your mouth.”

            Chunji laughed.  “If you think that’ll bother Dongwoo hyung, you don’t know him very well.”

            “What’s wrong, don’t want to share?” Changjo asked, giving C.A.P. a mocking, disgusted look.  “Can’t let L hyung see me, can’t let Chunji hyung see Dongwoo hyung?  Is it difficult for you?”

            C.A.P.’s expression showed genuine surprise.  “No, what?”

            “Don’t cause more problems just because you’re angry,” L told Changjo, pushing him back into the bedroom.  “Come and see me when your punishment is over.”

            “Then maybe it won’t ever be over,” Changjo said, staring over his shoulder, staring daggers into C.A.P.  “Maybe some people like it when I can’t see you.”

            “What are you talking about?” C.A.P. asked.  “Are you this stupid?  You’re in trouble because you broke about twenty different rules in ten minutes.  Don’t say anything else you’ll regret.”

            The way Changjo’s jaw clenched told L that whatever came next wouldn’t be good.  He gripped Changjo’s chin in one hand, forcing Changjo to look at him.  The fire in Changjo’s eyes was so malevolent, he could practically feel the furious energy pouring off of Changjo.  “No,” L said.  “Piss him off, and you’ll only be in more trouble.  No phone, no visits, no going out.  You won’t be able to see me or Suho hyung, you can’t meet EXO.  The worse you act now, the more trouble you are, the harder he’ll think he has to come down on you next time.  You don’t want to lose your phone, you don’t want to miss going on MT.  Drawing blood feels good, but it doesn’t feel as good as having sex with Chen, right?”

            Bit by bit, Changjo’s expression relaxed.  He was thinking now, weighing his options, strategizing.

            L smiled, stroking the side of his neck.  “Pick your battles, Changjo-ah.  And don’t fight with your members.  Don’t push him away if you can’t afford to lose him.”

            “I won’t lose him,” Changjo muttered.  As his gaze slid past L to C.A.P. again, his expression darkened into a scowl.  “I can’t get rid of him.”

            “A contract isn’t a relationship,” L said.  “A job isn’t family.  It doesn’t matter how long your contract is, you can lose him and never get him back.  How long have you been in this industry, that you don’t know that?”

            “It’s not that serious,” C.A.P. said.

            L rolled his eyes, turning to C.A.P., keeping a hand on Changjo.  Ya, is that what you want to say right now?  To me?  Nothing’s ever serious, right?”

            Groaning, C.A.P. rubbed his eyes.

            “Why did you ever like him?” Changjo asked.

            “I don’t know, I wasn’t very smart when I was younger,” L said.  He hugged Changjo, savoring the sensation of Changjo’s strong arms wrapping around him.  “Come see me soon.  I really wanted to get laid tonight.  I called your name again last night and Hoya hyung’s been teasing me about it.”

            “Liar,” Changjo said, smiling at him, looking delighted.

            Mmm, I miss you.”  Sighing, feeling wistful, he hugged Changjo again, rubbing his nose against Changjo’s shoulder.  “I love you.”

            Changjo gave him a tight, hard squeeze.  In his ear, so no one else could hear, Changjo whispered, “I love you, too.”

            He smiled, kissed Changjo again, and said, “Call me when you get your phone back.”  Then, ignoring everyone else, he walked toward the front door.  Ricky was still counting in the kitchen.

            “Hyung,” Chunji said, following him.

            “You’re not coming with me.”  He put his shoes back on.

            “You could take him,” C.A.P. said.

            “Don’t want to.”  But it would make Dongwoo happy.  Ugh.  Resigned, L scratched the back of his head and looked at Chunji.  “You really want to go?”

            Chunji lit up.  “Five seconds!” he shouted, sprinting away.  Ya!  Out of my way!”

            “Ah!  Hyung!” Niel called, protesting.

            “I told you to move!” Chunji said.

            Sighing, L leaned against the door.  Oh, he’d better check with Sunggyu before he just showed up with some random idol.  He pulled out his phone.

            C.A.P. was beside him.  Not saying anything, just standing there.

            “What?” Sunggyu asked.

            “Hyung, I’m coming back.  Chunji’s coming with me, he wants to see Dongwoo hyung.”

            “What?  Chunji?  Is this my private dorm or a train station?” Sunggyu demanded.  “In and out, everyone coming and going, no privacy.  Fine, fine, bring Chunji, bring everybody, we’ll have a big party.  Cake, bring some cake, we can all celebrate.”

            C.A.P. was smiling, his eyebrows up.  L shook his head, exasperated, not even sure where to start.  Was anyone else’s leader this difficult?  “Someone else is over there?”

            “Feeldog was here, Baram was here, Woohyun’s bringing Key, Xiumin just left, now Chunji.  Anyone else, you want to bring all of Teen Top with you?  Maybe pick up some other idols on the way?  Is VIXX busy tonight?”

            That was a lot of people, all in one short night.  And they were all there to visit other members, not Sunggyu.  L smiled.  “No, hyung, just Chunji.  But I’ll be there soon.  I miss you.  I’ll be glad to get back to the dorm.  If everyone else is busy, and the dorm’s noisy, could I hang out in your room?  There are things I want to talk about.  Or maybe we could just rest.”

            “Rest, yeah.”  Sunggyu cleared his throat.  “I don’t need extra dongsaengs cluttering up my room, but okay, if you want.”

            “That’d be nice,” L said, still smiling.  “I’ll see you soon, hyung.”

            When L hung up, C.A.P. rubbed his nose.  “You know he sees right through you.”

            “He likes it anyway.”  L put his phone back in his pocket.  “I’d invite you over, but you probably want to stay and keep an eye on the kids.  And all of my members hate you, anyway.”

            C.A.P. pressed his lips together, then nodded, accepting it, even smiling a little.

L smiled back.  Sungjong’s willing to get over it, though.”

“Sungjong doesn’t like me, he likes my cock,” C.A.P. said.

L raised his eyebrows.  “Isn’t that how you prefer it?”

C.A.P. winced and rubbed his chest, acting wounded.

“Ready, I’m ready,” Chunji said.  He’d changed clothes and brushed his hair, and L had to admit, he looked effortlessly hot.  If L hadn’t known him, L would’ve banged him in a heartbeat.

“See you,” L told C.A.P.  Then he raised his voice, sure that Changjo was still listening from the bedroom.  “Changjo fighting!”

“Hyung fighting!” Changjo called back.  He smiled.  Damn, he loved that kid.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” C.A.P. told Chunji.  “Be back here by seven am.”

“Sure.”  His shoes on, Chunji flashed C.A.P. a bright, sparkling smile.  “Night.”

C.A.P. looked like he wanted to kiss Chunji, but he just nodded and watched them go.

In the van, Chunji lounged, looking pretty and bored.  After a while, he glanced over at L.  “You’re going to take this the wrong way.”

“Then don’t say anything.”

“You could have anyone you want.  But you’re with Changjo?”  Chunji’s expression was focused and curious.  “It makes it seem like C.A.P. hyung really messed you up.”

“I’m not messed up.”  That might not have been true.  “If I am, it’s not only because of C.A.P.  There are other people in my life.  Other things that’ve happened.  Don’t get so excited over what went wrong with one guy.”

Chunji studied him intently.

He looked right back, flatly.

“I’m sorry about all of the crap you’ve been through,” Chunji said.

He nodded.

“I’m sorry about…”  He sighed, shifting in his seat.  “I’m not saying that what happened with C.A.P. hyung, between you, was my fault.  But what I did made it harder, and I’m sorry.  I regret that whatever I did made things bad for you.”

He nodded, more slowly this time, more thoughtfully.  It seemed like Chunji was sincere.  And that didn’t change anything, but it still made him feel a little bit better.  “Things would’ve gone wrong between us, anyway.  It’s not your fault.  He was never going to love me.”

“I’ve never seen C.A.P. hyung love anybody.”

“He puts Teen Top first, ahead of everything else.”  L couldn’t blame him for that.  It was just that the gap between Teen Top and everything else was a huge gulf.  Some people had clearly ranked priorities; C.A.P. had one, constant purpose and nothing else.  It had just taken L way too long to understand that.

“Changjo’s in love with you.”  Chunji was watching him, looking for a reaction.  “Really in love with you.”

He couldn’t tell what the point of that statement was.  He didn’t think that Chunji had a definite point, really.  It was more like Chunji was sounding him out, bringing it up just to find out how he felt about it.  “I know.”  He didn’t blink.  “Dongwoo hyung’s in love with you.”

Chunji writhed, right there in his seat, looking so guilty and agonized and erotic that he stirred up memories of other times, private moments, the history between them that L had considered long dead.  “He likes me,” he finally said.  “He told me, he likes me.  That’s all it is.  Don’t, don’t make more of it than there really is.”

“He’s in love with you,” L repeated.  “Are you really going to use him up and drop him?  Again?”

Abruptly, Chunji twisted in his seat, staring hatefully into L’s face.  “Don’t,” he warned.  “Don’t accuse me and don’t talk about things that you don’t understand.  Dongwoo hyung knows what’s between us, and he knows how I feel about him, and I’ve told him everything.  He doesn’t expect anything from me that I can’t give him.”

“Dongwoo hyung is a better, kinder person than anyone else in your life,” L snapped.  “If you hurt him-”

“You’re going to threaten me?” Chunji asked.  “I don’t know what you’ll do to me if I hurt Dongwoo hyung, and I don’t care, because it’s never going to matter.  But it’s nothing compared to what I’ll do to you if you hurt Changjo.”

L smirked at him, almost amused.  “You think that I’m afraid of you?”

Chunji snorted and sat back, fixing his clothes, his anger and intensity vanishing, his mood changing just that fast.  He smiled as he got comfortable, and he turned to gaze calmly out of the window.  He didn’t say anything else until they arrived at the dorm.



            L was in one of his favorite positions: right on top of Changjo, covering Changjo’s back, his face tucked against Changjo’s shoulder.  Closing his eyes, he rubbed his face against Changjo’s smooth, taut skin, breathing in Changjo’s scent.

            Changjo was texting a hoobae.  L read over his shoulder.  It was impressive, how well Changjo played innocent, stringing people along, getting them to condemn themselves over and over again.  When the photos started to roll in, one sexually explicit proof shot after another, L watched with mild amusement.  After a while, though, L’s attention started to drift, and he mouthed Changjo’s shoulder, mulling things over.  “Changjo-ah,” he mumbled absently.

            Mmm?”  Changjo was texting such convincing wonder and virtue, no one would ever believe that half an hour ago, he’d been balls-deep in L, talking dirty and making L come with joyful, animal abandon.

            “Is Chunji scary?”

            “Scary?”

            “Is he…”  L didn’t know what to say.  “Dangerous” seemed ridiculous.  Maybe “threatening” worked.  Niel’s harmless.  Chunji seems harmless, too, he’s just noisy.”

            Chunji hyung’s very noisy,” Changjo agreed.  Grunting, he rolled over, right onto his back, smushing L against the bed.  Laughing, L pushed at him.  “Oh, sorry, did I squash you?”  Grinning, he sat up.

            L moved the pillow, getting comfortable, then pulled Changjo into his arms.

            Sighing like L was only a burden to him, Changjo obeyed with obvious reluctance.  Then he smiled and snuggled in energetically, gripping L tightly and burrowing in, skin against skin.  Adoring him, L petted him.

            They kissed, and they talked about other things, and they ate, and they had sex again.  Later, at the door, they said good-bye.  While L was getting his phone and his shoes, Changjo said, “Chunji hyung doesn’t scare me.  He’d never do anything to me.  I’m one of his favorite dongsaengs.”  Changjo looked so cute, L kissed him.  He kissed back, and L didn’t want to let go.  “But he’s not only noisy,” he murmured, kissing L again.  “He’s effective.”

            That comment stayed with L for a while.  Because he could only imagine what it took for Changjo, of all people, to consider someone effective.



Series page: "Let's Love"



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Copyright March 27, 2016
by Matthew Haldeman-Time