Suho on Top
I write about men having sex with other men. You must be eighteen or older to read my fiction. This site is for consenting, responsible adults only.
This story picks up directly after “Guardian Angel.”
Sehun stretched out beside Suho in bed, his head pillowed on his arms. “So.” His smile was knowing and affectionate. “You liked having Teen Top visit.”
Suho blushed; he knew what Sehun meant by that. “I think that we all grew closer.”
Sehun laughed, then tried to hide it behind his hand. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Closer. That’s good.”
“Shut up,” Suho said, laughing. “What are you trying to start conversations about? I haven’t asked you about what you and L.Joe did all of that time. I can have my privacy, too.”
“Oh, you didn’t ask about that?” Sehun asked. “No, you only made him get naked and show you everything.”
“Someone has to check up on things.” He wasn’t bending on this point. “It would be irresponsible if I let you do anything and everything you want without making sure that you’re being safe and careful. I trust your judgment as much as I can, but you and L.Joe were never together so much all at once before.”
Sehun looked sullen for a minute. He didn’t like it, but he didn’t argue, either. He had to know that being allowed to keep L.Joe in his room all to himself every night had been a big privilege, and at least he had the sense not to complain too much. “I’m surprised that Changjo didn’t try harder to keep you all to himself.”
“It’s only fair to take turns,” Suho said. “I don’t play favorites.”
Sehun blinked, then frowned. “Turns?” His eyebrows going up, he burst into laughter. “They took turns?!”
“What?” Suho demanded, embarrassed. “It’s the fairest way.”
“Oh my god, they took turns,” Sehun said, like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. “Who did, Changjo and Ricky and Niel and Chunji hyung?”
“Yes, and it’s not funny! It’s polite, it’s fair, it keeps things orderly.”
“Wait, wait. L.Joe sunbae didn’t get his turn?” Sehun asked, sitting up.
“I think that he had other priorities.”
“But.” Sehun flopped down again, on his back this time. “L.Joe sunbae. And Suho hyung.” He looked dazed. “Suho hyung and…” His voice trailed off, and when he spoke again, it was deep and infatuated. “L.Joe sunbae.”
“It - - ah, maknae, stop that,” Suho complained, pushing Sehun’s hand aside when he started rubbing himself.
Sitting up again, Sehun fixed him with a direct gaze. “You have to do it. As soon as they get back from Japan.”
“It’s okay. These things happen when they happen. There’s no timetable, it should be natural, when we grow closer.” He wasn’t rushing things with C.A.P., either, and he felt good about that. It was nice to let it develop on its own. He was kind of racking up a long list of sex partners at this point, and he was still figuring out how he felt about that. Part of him saw it all as natural and healthy and good, a sign of all of the strong, flourishing friendships in his life, and part of him wondered if he was using emotional intimacy as an excuse to get banged by as many guys as possible.
“When he gets back from Japan,” Sehun said again. “Shit, I can’t watch.”
“No, you can’t watch!” Suho exclaimed.
“What would you do with him, do you think? Hypothetically.”
“That’s none of your business!”
“He likes a lot of things,” Sehun said. “And he’s good at a lot of things, really good. And he’s considerate, D.O. hyung likes him. He gets off twice, you know that, right?”
He’d heard, yes. He couldn’t really wrap his mind around it. He hadn’t spent any time at all, none, none at all, imagining going down on someone who came twice. Sucking L.Joe off, and making L.Joe come, and then sucking more, going for it, getting a second load, right in his mouth. “I don’t need to arrange all of the details now. It’ll happen when it happens, and it’s none of your business.”
“He’s so sexy,” Sehun said. “Way sexier than any of our members.” He smiled, looking bashful and proud. “You’re going to like it, really, you’re going to love it so much.”
“Our members are very sexy,” Suho said, feeling the need to be loyal.
“You have to stop being so shy. You should do more things around the dorm. Like kissing, you don’t have to be behind a closed door to kiss somebody, do you?”
“Maknae,” Suho said firmly. “You don’t get to watch.”
“I wonder what he’d think about it,” Sehun mused. “I wonder if he’d feel shy.”
Suho doubted that. “I’ve seen him with his members. And I’ve heard about him with our members. No one ever said anything about being shy.”
“Mmm, but you’re my leader,” Sehun said thoughtfully, gazing into the distance, ruffling his own hair. “It might be a little different, you’re not just anybody.”
Something about the way he said that gave Suho pause. Being a leader gave him a position of authority, but over his own members, not just anyone, and L.Joe was a sunbae. On the other hand, he and C.A.P. had been co-parenting enough that he’d adopted the Teen Top members lately, so maybe L.Joe saw him in that role. But it sounded like Sehun meant something else by that. Like being Sehun’s leader, specifically, gave him some special - - Suho’s thoughts ran into each other, blurring, and he coughed.
Coming out of a reverie, Sehun blinked at him, then smiled and patted his shoulder. “Okay? Didn’t have enough vitamins today?”
“It’s not like that! Between us!”
Sehun looked mystified for a second, then laughed. “It’s not? When you summon everyone to dinner and tell us all how to act?”
“That was - - I was trying to resolve misunderstandings!”
“You’re the one who set us up with each other in the first place. You’re the one we need to get permission from. You’re the one who takes me over to his dorm. You’re in charge of me, and I’m - - I, he and I, you know.”
You’re in charge of me, and I’m in charge of him. That was what he’d been about to say. That there was a hierarchy, and Suho was on top. “It’s not that way,” he mumbled, embarrassed. “I hope he doesn’t expect anything like that! He’ll have to be disappointed.” He remembered Chunji asking to be spanked. Asking for it so casually, so matter-of-factly! He also remembered Chunji trying to pin him down. Holy shit, was he not ready for either of those things.
“No, he’s not going to expect you to do anything,” Sehun said. “It just might make a difference to his mindset, in his own head.”
“Well, then maybe that’s something for the two of you to talk about,” Suho suggested. He had no idea what, exactly, they usually talked about. Did they talk? Did they have conversations when they were behind closed doors? “It’s nothing to worry about, anyway. If anything happens between us, it should come up naturally, on its own.” He definitely wasn’t going to plan it out ahead of time! He’d tried that with Changjo, and he’d barely been able to stand it. Putting first-time sex on the calendar between photo shoots and interviews was no way to live.
“Ah. Gives me time to fantasize about it,” Sehun said, fondling himself again.
Suho would never, ever get tired of watching Sehun play with his own balls. They were so big, so plump, Suho wanted to kiss them. “Maknae,” he said pointlessly, staring.
Leaning down, Sehun kissed him. He kissed back, his eyes closing, and as he guided Sehun on top of him, Sehun whispered, “Touch me, hyung, put your hand on me.”
“Do you want it?” he asked, kissing Sehun, running his hands over Sehun’s sides. “Or do you just know that I want it?” He was really bad at hiding his desires, and Sehun was too good at reading him.
“Both,” Sehun said. He smiled. “That’s what’s so fun about sex, hyung, we can all get what we want.”
Xiumin walked into the dorm first. “Ya! Kids! Hyung’s here!”
“Where have you all been?” Baekhyun demanded, jogging over to the door to greet him.
“In Shanghai,” Lay said, following Xiumin inside. “And Beijing.”
“Who are these strangers?” Chanyeol asked.
While everyone hugged, more members piling in around the door, Chen managed to fit inside, too. He dropped his bags and took off his shoes, and he hugged his members, and he was glad to be home again, and then he saw Suho. “You!”
Suho looked taken aback, and then turned red, wide-eyed and embarrassed. Guilty, he looked guilty, and he should, the rat! The tease! The jerk!
“Who are you talking informally to?” Xiumin asked.
“Him!” Chen said. He advanced on Suho, who backed up nervously. “You know why! You know what you did! What you aren’t doing!” he corrected himself. “What you won’t do!”
“Chen-ah,” Suho said, still backing up. “We should talk about it, let’s discuss it later.”
“What is there to discuss?” he demanded. “What do we need to talk about?”
“Ya, you can’t speak informally forever,” Suho said, finally standing his ground now that Chen had backed him against an armchair. “We’ll discuss it in private, later.”
“You texted me!” He couldn’t stand it. “You teased me! You’re a tease!”
Suho looked shocked. “I’m not!”
“Tease!” he accused again.
“Suho hyung’s a tease?” Baekhyun asked.
“What - - oh,” Lay said suddenly.
“What?” Chanyeol asked.
“Oh,” Baekhyun said, first in a tone of realization, and then, “oh,” in an excited, breathy, hopeful way.
“Oh, shit,” D.O. said.
“What?” Chanyeol demanded.
“Really?” Xiumin asked.
“What is everyone talking about?” Chanyeol demanded.
“I can’t explain it,” Lay said. “We’re not allowed.
“Put two and two together,” D.O. said. Kai snickered.
“What are you doing with your hands?” Suho asked, blushing again, looking past Chen’s shoulder, scandalized.
“Just demonstrating how two and two go together,” D.O. said.
“Wait, what?” Chanyeol asked. “You don’t do that? Then what do you do with Chen, if you don’t do that?”
“You have zero imagination,” Xiumin said.
“I assumed, I mean, if he doesn’t do it with me, I thought that he didn’t do it with anybody else, either,” Lay said. “Was I wrong?”
“You’re right, hyung, I assumed it, too,” Baekhyun said. “It just never came up with Chanyeol, because he’s such a fantastic, impressive top that no one ever thought to ask him if he wanted to try bottoming for once.”
“Why - - why do you say that like you’re being sarcastic?” Chanyeol asked.
“Hold on,” Sehun said. “You texted him about this? You texted?”
“You texted about sex?” Xiumin asked. He clicked his tongue. “Too bad, we’re going to have to confiscate your phone. I’ll need you to go sit quietly and reflect for a while.”
“I was discreet,” Suho said. “And this isn’t some conversation we all need to have as a team! I’m glad that you’re all home, now go and unpack or something.”
“Why’d you text Chen?” Baekhyun asked. “You forgot my number?”
“It isn’t a competition,” Kai said.
“No, but wait, wait,” Baekhyun said. “If we go in order, Chen’s after me, not before. Xiumin hyung, Lay hyung, I’m third, Chen’s fourth, that’s how it goes, right? You were going to see me and then see him, and do things-”
“Different things happen with different people,” Kai said. “No one owes you a sex position.”
“If he gets it and I don’t, I’m making everybody’s life hell,” Baekhyun said firmly. “You understand that, right?”
“No one owes you sex,” Kai said again.
“I knew this was a mistake,” Suho said. “Do you see how nothing’s happened, and there are already problems?”
“There are more problems because of what you aren’t doing, than because of what you are,” Xiumin said. “If you’d just freaking do it, we’d all be over it.”
Chen was starting to feel bad. He didn’t regret yelling at Suho, at all, because the goddamned tease totally deserved it. But he did feel bad that they were putting pressure on Suho; he hadn’t meant for that to happen. “It’s okay. We should only do what we’re comfortable with, and if you aren’t comfortable, then it’s not right. I won’t bring it up again.” He rubbed Suho’s shoulder, smiling. “You got me all excited and hopeful, but it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I don’t like it when people put pressure on me or expect things from me, so I shouldn’t do that to you, either.”
“I hate sex,” Suho said, hugging him. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” he said honestly, hugging Suho. “I love you. And you don’t hate sex, don’t say that, no one believes you.”
Baekhyun had only gotten back to the dorm a couple of hours before Chen, and he hadn’t unpacked yet. Following Chen into their bedroom, he said, “Let me see that text. You know you have to let me see it, right?”
Chen glanced back to make sure that no one else was around, then pulled out his phone, pulled up the text log, and handed it over.
Baekhyun didn’t know what he’d expected, but Suho had texted, “Chen-ah. When you get home, maybe we should talk. There are things that we can share, things that we can do, and it’s only right if I share them with you first.”
He had no idea how Chen had gotten anal sex out of something so vague. But his main problem was, “You first? You first?!” he demanded, tossing the phone aside and pushing Chen. “Why should you be first? What am I, trash?”
“Ow! I don’t know, don’t take it out on me,” Chen said. “Maybe you’re such a dominant, sexy, powerful top, he doesn’t think of you that way.”
“Okay, now you’re just making fun of me.”
Laughing, Chen hugged him. “I missed you! Why were we apart for so long? You should’ve come to see us in China.”
“Ya, ya, don’t change the subject.”
Chen hauled his suitcase onto his bed and started unpacking. “I don’t know. Maybe I bother him about it more than you do, so he thinks I want it more. I’ve tried not to ask for it, I know it’s wrong to put pressure on him.”
Baekhyun couldn’t believe that they were talking about this. “We should shut up, he’ll walk in here any second.” But he couldn’t help himself. “I’ve tried not to ask, too, I just, I really want it. I really, really, really want it. And I don’t get the problem, I don’t see what’s wrong with it!”
“He’s worried about power imbalances.”
“Kai talks too much,” Baekhyun complained, sitting beside the suitcase on Chen’s bed. “If he were a different kind of leader, things might get weird, but he’s not that kind of leader. Or that kind of hyung.”
“Well, tell him that.”
“I have! ‘Oh, it just doesn’t seem right, Baekhyun-ah, it’s too much like taking advantage, blah blah blah.’ God, I’m going to die unfucked,” he moaned, dropping onto his back.
Chen laughed at him. “You’re not in any danger of that!”
“Chen-ah?” Lay asked, walking in. “Do you still have that text message that Suho sent you? Can I see it?”
“Yeah, let me see it,” Xiumin said, walking in and picking up Chen’s phone.
“I wonder what changed his mind,” Baekhyun said. Curiosity taking hold of him, he sat up. “Why’d he suddenly want it? Did he get too horny, with just Sehun around?”
“We shouldn’t speculate,” Chen said.
“It wasn’t just Sehun around, Teen Top was here,” Lay reminded them.
“Then he definitely got horny,” Baekhyun said. “Sehun said that they had sex all over the dorm.”
“In our beds,” Lay said. “It’s too bad that Suho made Sehun change all of the sheets before we got back.”
So EXO had been out of town, and Suho’s sex life had dried up. And Teen Top had been around, and screwing boisterously right in Suho’s face. And Suho had suddenly really, really wanted to screw someone, too. Not enough to start on Sehun, apparently, but enough to reach out to Chen about it.
“Holy shit!” Chanyeol shouted from the next room. The next thing they heard was Sehun frantically shushing him.
Xiumin’s eyebrows went up, Chen and Baekhyun exchanged a look, and the four of them went into the next room.
“Holy shit!” Chanyeol exclaimed again. “Did you guys know about this?” he demanded.
“Oh my god, hyung, quiet,” Sehun said, making placating gestures and keeping an eye on the door.
“Everything all right?” Suho called.
“Yes!” Xiumin called back. “What?” he whispered, “what happened?”
“What’d I miss?” D.O. asked, slipping into the room.
“Don’t close the door, it makes him suspicious,” Sehun whispered when Chanyeol reached for it. Smart kid. Baekhyun had to remember that. “I just…” He gestured them all closer, and they crowded in, Baekhyun squeezing close, Chanyeol throwing an arm around Lay and another around Chen. “While Teen Top was here. Suho hyung let them take turns.”
Let them take turns doing what?
Sehun gave them a significant look.
“Holy shit!” Chen exclaimed.
“You’re kidding,” Baekhyun said. “You’re kidding, you have to be kidding, are you kidding, you have to be kidding.” He had no idea how to take this.
“Ricky and Suho,” Lay said, rubbing at his forehead.
“Tell me everything,” Xiumin said, grabbing the front of Sehun’s shirt with both hands. “Everything, maknae, spill it!”
“Niel must have loved it,” Lay said. “All of that, god, Niel must have loved it. Chunji and Suho? Chunji? Chunji and Suho?”
“C.A.P. and Suho?” Chanyeol demanded.
Baekhyun sat on the nearest thing, a suitcase. His mind was spinning and he couldn’t handle the images exploding in his brain.
“No, no,” Sehun said hastily. “No, no, not that, not C.A.P. hyung. And not L.Joe sunbae, either. Just, the others, Ricky and Niel and Chunji hyung. And Changjo.”
“Oh, thank god,” Baekhyun breathed, feeling faint. Suho and C.A.P.? He wasn’t ready for his image of Suho to change that much. He still felt weird about Suho and Sunggyu.
Sehun didn’t tell them much else, because Sehun didn’t know much else.
“Do you think he did it with them?” Lay asked. “What he texted Chen about?”
“No,” Baekhyun said. “He wants Chen to be first, and Chen wouldn’t be first if he did it with one of them.” He didn’t know if he should be honestly insulted, or if he should worry about his relationship with Suho and how Suho really felt about him, or if it was just something as simple as Suho genuinely thinking that Chen wanted or needed it more than he did. Was he at least second on Suho’s mental list? He was on the list, right? If there was a list, he had to be on it.
“Who was he with the night he texted you?” Xiumin asked Chen.
“How would I know?” Chen asked.
“Changjo would know,” D.O. said.
“What, are you going to ask him?” Chanyeol asked.
Baekhyun was. He pulled out his phone.
“It had to be Niel,” Sehun said.
While the other members agreed that it must have been Niel, Baekhyun texted Changjo. He double-checked the date with Chen, then asked, “That night, whose turn was it?”
Changjo texted back, “Hi, hyung, it’s great to hear from you! You’re back in Seoul, now? How was your vacation?”
He rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to make small talk, we texted each other a dozen times yesterday. Whose turn was it?”
He looked up at his members from where he sat on the suitcase. “How do you get Changjo to talk?”
“Bribe him?” Chanyeol guessed.
“Punch him?” Xiumin asked.
“Give him information,” D.O. said.
Suho was in the doorway. “Is this a happy team reunion, or should I be nervous that you’re all in here plotting against me?”
“Plotting,” D.O. said. “Always plotting.”
“Ya, why are you so creepy?” Chen asked, laughing.
“Hey, smile, hyung,” Sehun said, reaching for Baekhyun’s phone. “Changjo wants a photo.”
“Oh, a photo?” Suho asked, fixing his shirt. Baekhyun handed over the phone, and Sehun took a photo and handed it back. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt, Baekhyun sent it. But that couldn’t possibly work, right?
A minute later, Changjo texted back, “Chunji hyung. Why?”
“Chunji,” Baekhyun blurted out. “It was Chunji.”
“What was Chunji?” Suho asked.
“I should have guessed that,” Xiumin said.
“I don’t blame you at all,” Lay said, patting Suho’s shoulder. “I think we all understand.”
Suho was glad to have his members back, glad to have everyone together again. They were all refreshed after their vacations and ready to get back to work, and he enjoyed their positive energy and their friendly teamwork.
It was so good to have his members all together at once that he tried to cancel his date with Sunggyu. But when he mentioned it, Chen scolded him and D.O. told him to go out and have fun and Xiumin said, “I hope you don’t expect me to stay in, too, I have places to be.” So he went to see Sunggyu, anyway.
He was in such a good mood over his members being back that he couldn’t hold it in. He spent the first half of their date being foolish, doing aegyo and making jokes and flirting with Sunggyu. It all made Sunggyu laugh and blush, and that only encouraged him to do more of it.
They were alone in Infinite’s dorm, and they were on the couch in the front room when Sunggyu laughed and put an arm around him and asked, “What is this, you don’t get enough attention at home? You’re in such a good mood tonight, did Xiumin bring back strange pills from China?”
“Don’t joke about that! That’s what I need, rumors about my members smuggling drugs!”
“Rumors, what, who can hear me?” Sunggyu asked, looking around.
“It’s nice to have everyone back from vacation.” He liked having Sunggyu’s arm around him so much that he snuggled in, tucking himself against Sunggyu’s side. “I missed them. I’m even glad to be working hard again. I don’t usually like the practice room this much.”
“It’ll wear off,” Sunggyu predicted.
He laughed, pulling his legs up. Comfortable, he rested his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder. Sunggyu’s arm settled more snugly around him. Having a boyfriend was an amazing thing. Risky but so, so worth it. Sunggyu was maybe his most expensive luxury. “I can tell you anything, right?”
“That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? What good is a hyung you can’t confide in?”
“I messed up a little with my members. I got excited about something and I got overconfident about myself, and I told Chen that I was ready for something I’m not really ready for. And now he’s upset with me for going back on my word, and the other members keep talking about it. I wish they didn’t gossip so much, it’s not right, it only leads to problems. And Chen called me a tease! I’m not a tease.”
“Sex,” Sunggyu said. “We’re talking about sex, you mean sex.”
He laughed. “How many times are you going to say that word? Yes, okay, sex.”
“I don’t know why you’re telling me about it. You know how I feel, you know what I’m going to say.” Sunggyu’s tone turned suspicious. “Or is that why you’re telling me, so I’ll tell you to go ahead and do it, because you want permission? You want excuses? You want someone to pin it on? Go ahead, pin it on me, it’s all that Kim Sunggyu’s fault, he told you to try new things.”
There might be some truth in there. “You’re so sure about it.”
“I’d better be sure, I have sex with my members all of the time.” Sunggyu shifted. Squirmed, actually. And then he didn’t say anything else.
Suho didn’t know what was weirder, the squirming or the sudden silence. Sunggyu had nothing to say? “You all right?”
“What? I’m fine.” He barely paused for breath. “If you want practice, you can try it on my members. I’ll help, I can give you pointers, I know a lot about it.”
“I know what you know about it,” Suho said. “I don’t need help. Why does everyone always want to watch everything? Sex isn’t private? It can’t be just between two people anymore?”
“What’s private these days?” Sunggyu asked. “I haven’t had a bathroom to myself since 2010.”
Suho made a sympathetic sound and patted his thigh. “You’ve suffered a lot.”
“I know.” He kissed the top of Suho’s head. “You can’t practice on me.”
That had never occurred to him.
Now it was occurring to him.
“You, do you.” He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his thoughts, but his mind was taking all of the sexy, aroused sounds and images of his members, when he fingered them, and filling in what it might be like with Sunggyu. “Why did you have to bring that up?”
“I didn’t bring up anything! This is your conversation.”
“You brought up practicing!”
“I’m trying to be helpful! You’re nervous about it, and practicing helps. What kind of idol doesn’t know that practice helps?”
“Practicing on you!”
“That’s off-limits!” Sunggyu exclaimed, springing away from him, creating distance between them on the couch.
“Then don’t bring it up!” he shot back, swinging to face Sunggyu.
“Are you yelling at me?” Sunggyu demanded, looking as flustered as Suho felt.
“I’m not yelling at anybody!”
They stared at each other for a minute.
He couldn’t stop picturing it. “Do you…”
“Don’t ask me that,” Sunggyu said. He looked painfully uncomfortable, and then he just looked embarrassed, his expression bashful, his hands touching at the couch, his pants, the couch again. “You’re my boyfriend, you can know private things,” he decided, resuming his spot again. “It doesn’t have to be a secret. Some of my members lick me there. It feels funny. It feels nice. It feels…different.” He squirmed again, tucking his hands between his thighs. “Don’t judge me.”
“Judge you on what? I’m not judging you.”
“You’re looking at me weird!”
“This is my normal face!”
“Then your face is weird!”
He burst into laughter. “Stop being so uptight and nervous. I don’t care what you do with your members, I don’t judge people on those things.” He couldn’t believe that Sunggyu was telling him about it, though. “Do you do it a lot?”
“A lot? I don’t know, what’s a lot? I don’t think that it’s a lot,” Sunggyu decided.
He wondered which members. He wondered how much Sunggyu liked it. “You do have a very cute butt.”
“I do not, what are you saying?” Sunggyu asked, laughing at him.
“It’s very cute!”
“You have terrible taste, what do you know?”
“Who do you think has a nice butt, then?”
“Sungjong,” Sunggyu said. “L. Chen.”
“I think Changjo’s is nice,” Suho admitted.
Shaking his head, Sunggyu pulled Suho close again, wrapping an arm around him. “My boyfriend has shallow, hormonal crushes on younger guys. What am I going to do?”
“You can put up with it,” Suho said, leaning against his shoulder again. “Do you really think that it’s okay for me to have sex that way with my members?” No, “okay” wasn’t good enough. “Would it be a good thing?”
“It’s a good thing,” Sunggyu said.
“Hold on,” he said, sitting up again. “If it’s so good and important for me to indulge my members in everything and be close to them in all of these ways and do these things, then what about you and C.A.P.?”
“What about me and C.A.P.?”
“If I have to do everything in both directions, why don’t you? Everyone says that C.A.P. only likes one position, and you only do it one way, too. Why do I have to go both ways? Maybe I only need a one-way street, too.”
“Isn’t it enough that I sing and dance and lead all of these fools, and now I have to bottom for them, too?” Sunggyu asked. “They should be grateful that I have sex with them at all.”
“Oh, they should be grateful,” Suho said.
“Try getting C.A.P. to bottom for Niel, and get back to me, and maybe then I’ll consider it.”
Suho laughed. “That’s a terrible example! You know Niel doesn’t want to.”
“Half of my members don’t want to, either, so it’s okay. Hoya isn’t dying to put his cock in extra places, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“I bet that he would if you asked him.”
“If you want him to top somebody so badly, you ask him for it.”
Okay, this conversation had gone far enough. “Anything good on TV?” Suho asked, reaching for the remote.
Sunggyu took it from him and kissed him on the mouth. He blushed; he still wasn’t used to that, to having a boyfriend, to having a hyung who just kissed him in the middle of conversation, in the middle of the living room. It was hard to get used to, and he knew that Sunggyu could tell that it was difficult for him, because he’d seen how hands-on and direct Sunggyu was with Infinite, and he was sure that if he were more comfortable with it, Sunggyu would kiss him more often. He was torn between feeling guilty for being so skittish and feeling grateful that Sunggyu was so patient. He was glad, very glad, that Sunggyu did it, though; he wanted to grow more accustomed to it, wanted that to be something easy that happened between them. “If you think that it’s a good idea, go and screw Chen,” Sunggyu told him. “If you think that you aren’t ready for it, you can wait. But don’t hold back because you think that he’s not ready for it. That’s not right, and it’s not fair to him. You know what’s best for Suho and what’s best for EXO, but he knows what’s best for Chen.”
That made sense to him. He nodded, thinking it over. Then he smiled. “Can I-”
“Off-limits!” Sunggyu exclaimed.
He burst into laughter. “I didn’t even say it!”
“I know what you’re thinking. Here.” Sunggyu thrust the remote at him. “Watch TV. I’m going to get drinks.”
“Since when do you get drinks?” Suho asked as Sunggyu got up.
“I’m a good host.”
While Sunggyu walked away, Suho didn’t bother with the TV. He just eyed Sunggyu’s ass. Sunggyu’s shirt was too long, but he knew what was under there, anyway. He wondered-
Pivoting, Sunggyu clasped both hands over his ass, staring at Suho. “What are you looking at?”
“It’s a good show,” he said, slouching comfortably on the couch. “One of my favorites.”
“The TV isn’t even on!”
“Such a good show,” he said, smiling, still watching Sunggyu.
“You didn’t used to be like this,” Sunggyu accused. Turning around again, he knocked a videogame off of a shelf. “Oops!” He leaned over slowly. Very slowly. His shirt sliding up, his ass in the air. “Oh, so far down there.”
Doing a little squirming of his own now, Suho watched, licking his lips.
“So clumsy,” Sunggyu said. Finally picking it up, he straightened slowly. Very slowly. And then stretched, massaging the small of his back, pulling his shirt up and arching his back. “So tired, aahhh.”
Suho loved it. Loved that he would go so far just to indulge Suho’s desires. “I need to watch this channel more often.” He was so sexy, all over. Suho wanted to wrap both arms around him and press up against his back. “Doesn’t it seem warm in here? You’re at home, you should relax, you don’t have to be formal with me.”
Sunggyu shot him a narrow look over one shoulder.
He smiled. “Changjo and L think that it’s important for me to get in touch with my sexuality and express what I want.”
“Two sex therapists.” Muttering to himself, Sunggyu went to the kitchen.
Basking in his own happiness, Suho stayed put. He was really glad that he’d come over tonight.
“God damn it,” Sunggyu said from the other room.
He sounded exasperated. “Hyung?” Suho asked, sitting forward.
Wondering, he asked, “Everything okay?”
“Yes! No. Yes! Stay put.”
Whatever was going on, it couldn’t be very serious. He was just in the kitchen getting drinks, what kind of catastrophe could he be having? Unless he’d set something on fire. Which Suho wouldn’t think was very likely, if he was just getting drinks, but Teen Top seemed to have a lot of stories about dorm fires. And dressing room fires. And van fires. Like, “We weren’t on the highway, or anything,” made it okay.
Sunggyu came back carrying two bottles of water.
In his underwear.
Staring, Suho groped for the bottle, fingers grasping vaguely at the air. He was in his underwear.
“I spilled,” Sunggyu said. “So clumsy.” Standing over Suho, he tried pushing the bottle into Suho’s hand. “What, take it, take it.”
He’d never seen Sunggyu undressed in the living room before. Somehow all of that bare skin looked even more bare, outside of the bedroom. “What’d you spill?” he asked distantly. The details of Sunggyu’s body fascinated him. Sunggyu’s flat stomach. The black tuft of underarm hair. The lines of muscle in each bare thigh. The waistband of Sunggyu’s dark gray boxer-briefs was slightly askew, a half-inch higher on one side than the other.
Ketchup? “You need ketchup to make drinks?”
“New recipe. Terrible recipe, it was a bad idea. Why do you ask so many questions?”
Sunggyu was still trying to hand him the bottle, but he didn’t want it. He stroked the waistband of Sunggyu’s underwear, smoothing it into place, and then he ran his hands over Sunggyu’s waist, pressing his face to Sunggyu’s stomach.
“Getting in touch with what you want,” Sunggyu guessed.
God, yes. “I want this,” he said against Sunggyu’s skin. He closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead against Sunggyu, back and forth. “I want you.”
“Well, take what you want, that’s what I’m here for.”
“I thought that you were here for me to confide in.”
“I’m good for a lot of things, I know how to multi-task.”
He pulled Sunggyu closer, leaning back, and Sunggyu knelt on the couch. Still nuzzling, in love with the taut smoothness of Sunggyu’s skin, the furry little trail leading down from Sunggyu’s navel, he slid his hands back and down, cupping Sunggyu’s ass. It felt round and firm, but soft, too, with a little give to it. God, he was turned on. Rubbing Sunggyu’s ass, he kissed Sunggyu’s stomach, moaning.
“We don’t need these,” Sunggyu said, and he heard the water bottles hit the floor. Reaching up, he pulled Sunggyu down. Their mouths met in a deep kiss, and it was exactly what he’d needed, yes, yes. He was stretching out and Sunggyu was pushing him down and he was on his back, and he’d never done this on a couch before but it was perfect, it was amazing. There wasn’t enough room and Sunggyu was heavy and the side of the couch kept crowding him, giving him no elbow room, and it was fantastic. Sunggyu’s kisses had him hot and moaning, and Sunggyu’s hand was sliding under his shirt, and their legs were all tangled together, and they were right out in the open, all lights on, no closed-up rooms or firmly shut doors.
Sunggyu had so much bare skin for him to enjoy, he tried touching all of it, feeling Sunggyu up. It was so decadent! He wanted to make out in the living room all of the time, it was so free, so unrestricted, like this was just a normal thing that he could do, make out with his boyfriend and not care when or where or how. He could feel Sunggyu’s hard-on against him, and he squirmed against it, groaning, “Oh, hyung,” and Sunggyu moaned into his mouth, pushing his shirt up.
“Oh, wow, shit,” someone said, and someone else burst into laughter, and people were there, and Suho was so horrified he could’ve spontaneously combusted.
His first instinct was to bolt, but Sunggyu shoved him back down, arm locked across his chest and holding him in place. “What are you doing here, get out,” Sunggyu said, looking over one shoulder.
His heart knocked painfully in his chest. It was only Woohyun and Hoya, his friends, Sunggyu’s members. It wasn’t a parade of strangers. It was okay, it was okay, he kept trying to tell himself that it was okay.
“We live here,” Woohyun said.
“So this is what you get up to when no one’s home,” Hoya said.
“Go to your rooms, nobody wants you here,” Sunggyu said.
“Go to my room, what am I, four years old?” Hoya asked.
“Cute panties,” Woohyun said, patting Sunggyu’s ass.
“Get off of me, so embarrassing,” Sunggyu said, batting at Woohyun’s hand.
“Don’t do anything weird on that couch,” Hoya said, strolling away. “People sit there.”
“I’ll be in my room like a punished kid,” Woohyun said, backing away. “Come see me if you want any tips.” Smiling, he waved, then went into his room and closed the door.
They were gone. Not gone, still too close, close enough to hear, and they might come back at any second, and anyone else could walk in, anyone at all.
“Not dead?” Sunggyu asked, studying his face.
He wanted to get up and run. But he made himself stay. Sunggyu was right, this wouldn’t kill him. He was in Infinite’s dorm, not a subway station. It wasn’t open to anyone in the public. No one would see him who didn’t already know that he and Sunggyu did this. They’d only been kissing. He had all of his clothes on. No one minded it but him. “Not dead,” he finally agreed. Trying to relax, he rubbed at his face. “Are they really going to stay in their rooms?”
“Ninety percent chance for the next half hour or so, yes.”
Experimentally, he kissed Sunggyu’s cheek. The ceiling didn’t come crashing down on his head. “I liked this,” he whispered. “It’s really nice, on the couch.” Making out on the couch with his boyfriend. It was so sexy. So normal. He felt like he could be just about anybody, acting like this. He envied his members even more, now. All of those lazy evenings making out on the couch.
Sunggyu smiled at him, caressing his cheek. “You look so handsome on my couch.”
He smiled, too, stroking Sunggyu’s sideburn. “You look so sexy, picking things up off of the floor. You should drop things more often.”
Sunggyu laughed, and they kissed again. “When did you become like this? So naughty,” Sunggyu said, looking very happy about it.
Suho made sure to escape to the bedroom before the half hour was up, but before that, he had twenty long, wonderful, self-indulgent minutes on the couch. He also got to watch Sunggyu pick up both water bottles. The people who accused him of living too well had no idea.
Changjo tried to make as much noise as he could, going back into the dorm. L and Suho were with him, and he wanted to show them off. Niel and L.Joe came out to say hi; L disappeared, but Suho hung out for a minute, blushing when L.Joe’s flirting got too embarrassing. When L.Joe started touching, Changjo rolled his eyes and broke it up, pulling Suho away.
L was in the bedroom already, standing over Ricky. On the desk chair, Ricky was on the phone, spinning to get away from L, scrunching up and trying to push L away without actually making contact. Smiling, L loomed closer, and he squirmed, batting L away and curling into a ball. “Mmm. Yes, hyung. Yeah, I like that, too.” Staring up at L, he mouthed, “Go away!” L just smiled and leaned closer.
“Who is that, is that Onew hyung?” Changjo asked loudly, walking right over. “Tell him I said hi, tell him he should come over soon.”
“Maknae!” Ricky exclaimed, kicking him. “I’m trying to talk! Go in some other room!”
“Don’t be rude, we have guests,” Changjo said, smacking at his foot. “Suho hyung and L hyung came here to relax.”
“And where am I supposed to go?” Ricky asked. “Isn’t this my room?”
“Be respectful to your hyungs and get out,” Changjo said, pushing his chair across the room.
“Hey!” Ricky grabbed at an armrest for balance. “Maknae! You know I’m going to have to make you pay for this!”
“No one’s afraid of you, stop whining,” Changjo said, giving a big push and sending him zooming into the hallway.
Grabbing at the doorjamb, he barely caught himself and spun the chair around, glaring back at Changjo. The way his eyebrows drew together warned Changjo not to sleep too soundly tonight, and Changjo grinned, relishing the threat. Then he pushed away from the wall, sending his chair down the hallway. “Sorry, hyung, the maknae’s acting up again. Kids these days are so foolish.”
“Cute,” L said, closing the door.
“He’s not cute,” Changjo said.
Suho laughed, sitting on Changjo’s bed. “Don’t be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.” L had never really noticed Ricky, before. He wondered what was so interesting about Ricky now, all of a sudden.
L sat down right up close beside Suho. “What’d you want to talk about?”
“Nothing.” Suho stretched his legs out. He pouted for a second, and then he looked exasperated. “I want to tell you about how I kissed on the couch the other day and how nice it was and how much I liked it, but then you’ll just get pushy and tell me to do it some more and try it at my own dorm and everything.”
“You kissed who on what couch?” Changjo asked, sitting on the edge of Ricky’s bed, facing them.
He shifted uncomfortably, then smiled broadly, happily. “Sunggyu hyung kissed me on his couch. In his dorm.” He blushed as his smile widened. “It felt really nice.”
L laughed at him, and he pushed L away. “Couches are great,” Changjo said. How far had they gone? Just kissing? Suho was too shy! It was good that he was trying new things, though. He probably would’ve done more than just kiss if Sunggyu had asked, too. He was really horny and easy when it came to Sunggyu. So it was good that Sunggyu hadn’t pushed him too far. Things like this, Sunggyu not rushing him, reassured Changjo about their relationship. “You should make out on your couch sometime, it’d be great. Start with D.O. hyung, he probably won’t want anything else.”
“And if you want something else, you can just take it to your room,” L said. “Start on the couch and finish somewhere private.”
“Do you ever do that?” Changjo asked. “If I start on the couch, I usually finish on the couch.”
“Mmm, it depends,” L said. “Sometimes Sunggyu hyung wants to finish in private.” He scratched the back of his head. “Depends on the mood.”
Changjo put that together with what else he knew about them. “So he bangs you on the couch, but when he wants to make love to you, he takes you to bed.”
L smiled, blushing. “Pretty much.”
Suho winced, adjusting himself in his pants and then shifting and clearing his throat like he hadn’t just done that. “What do you think about - - don’t you think - - everybody keeps saying that I need to - - never mind.” When they both laughed and demanded an actual sentence, he insisted, “Never mind! It’s nothing, it’s all annoying, I’m tired of talking about it.”
“We haven’t talked about anything yet,” L said. “What is it?”
“You know you want to tell us,” Changjo said.
He sighed, looking put-upon. “Everybody says that if I want to be a good leader, I have to top and bottom for my members. But why is it just me? Why don’t C.A.P. and Sunggyu hyung have to do both, too? It doesn’t seem fair. No one complains about Onew hyung, and I don’t think that he does it both ways, either.”
“You’re right,” Changjo said immediately. “C.A.P. hyung should bottom for us as much as you bottom for EXO, and I think that we should go right now and insist and make him agree to it.”
“Selfish,” L said, laughing. “No, but Sunggyu hyung, if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to do it. It’s okay.”
“How does he know he doesn’t like it?” Changjo asked. “How much has he tried it? He should let all of his members give it to him a few times and really try it.”
Laughing, L waved him away. “Shut up. It’s fine if he doesn’t want to. He’s sensitive there, he’s tender, it makes him uncomfortable.”
He’d mentioned that before, but he never said anything else about it. “But how do you know that? What have you done to him, how far does he let you go?”
“He doesn’t want me to tell you about that. Don’t worry about it.”
“I still think that I have a good point,” Suho said stubbornly. “If he doesn’t have to bottom, then I don’t have to top.”
“But C.A.P. doesn’t want to bottom,” L said. “You want to top.”
“You totally wanted to bone Chunji hyung,” Changjo reminded him. “And you really want to give it to Chen hyung.”
Suho looked annoyed, squirming and crossing his legs. “That’s another thing. I’m supposed to do Chen first, right? But Sunggyu hyung told me to practice. I don’t want to practice on Chen, but if I practice on someone else, then he won’t really be first. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I think that he’ll be unhappy if I do that with other guys before him. And I don’t think that I need practice! But I do want it to be good. Everyone’s talking about it so much and making such a big deal of it, what if it’s not good and he’s let down?”
“You need to worry about it less,” L advised him.
“You’re overthinking it,” Changjo agreed. “It’s just sex.”
“Do what feels right when the moment comes up,” L said. “If you’re with Chen and it feels good and you want to try it, put it in. If you’re making out with Baekhyun and he’s moving like he wants it, try it. If you want to screw me, go ahead.”
“Or me,” Changjo offered.
“I don’t think that Chen will really hold it against you if you get to someone else first,” L said. “I think he’ll be more upset if you hold back and don’t do it at all.”
“Don’t worry so much about who’s doing what and what people might think and who’s first in line,” Changjo said. “Just do it when it feels good.”
“Have you thought about it a lot?” L asked. “Do you picture yourself doing it? You should fantasize about it. Masturbate and get used to it. Think about the positions you want to try and how good it’s going to look and how great it’s going to feel.”
“You know I don’t masturbate,” Suho said, blushing.
“Start,” Changjo said. “You’re the leader, you’re the hyung, you can lock your bedroom door and do whatever you want.”
“Think about sliding inside Chen,” L said. “Think about Xiumin hyung climbing on top of it and sitting right on your hot cock. Think about Lay hyung wriggling all over it and asking for more. You take so long to get off, you could drill Changjo for an hour.”
“You should definitely think about that,” Changjo agreed. “Think about that a lot.”
Blushing, Suho laughed. “Now it’ll be hard not to think about those things! Stop suggesting new ideas.”
“This shouldn’t be new!” Changjo said. “Don’t pretend that you’ve never thought about it before.”
“I have to be a leader,” Suho protested. “I can’t be responsible and make smart decisions if I’m distracted all day thinking about Xiumin hyung doing that. Why did you have to say that?” he demanded, smacking L’s shoulder.
“Think about it!” Changjo encouraged him. “Xiumin hyung’s very good at that, he really knows what he’s doing.”
“I wonder how D.O. likes it,” L mused. “Would he want you to go in nice and slow?”
“He’d probably make really sexy sounds,” Changjo decided. “Deep and breathy, you know. ‘Ah, oooh, hyung, not too fast.’”
Suho shuddered and threw his pillow at him.
“If you want to practice, you could try Niel,” L said. “He’s not picky.”
“You know what everybody likes, right?” Changjo asked. “There are guys like Hoya hyung where you have to go hard and fast and get pretty aggressive, and there are guys like Baekhyun hyung where you want to start slower and kind of tease him with it and get him excited.”
“Slow and deep for Chen, right?” L asked.
Changjo nodded, grinning. “But you can do anything you want with Lay hyung. So he’d be good to practice on.”
“So embarrassing, taking advice from my maknae,” Suho complained.
“Hey, it’s not my fault that I got to everybody before you did,” Changjo said. “And it’s good advice, you should take it. You’ve said it yourself, everybody loves me.” Suho’s members said great things about him.
“The main thing is, don’t overthink it,” L said. “Just do what feels right. Go with whatever makes you feel good. And what makes them feel good. They’ll let you know.”
“You’ve been with Baekhyun hyung a million times,” Changjo said. “It’s not that hard to read his cues.” He rubbed his hands together. “Are you ready to go talk to C.A.P. hyung now? I think that you should explain to him that he’s being a bad leader and letting us all down by not letting us screw him. I’m ready to bone him tonight. For the good of the team.”
D.O. got a text from Changjo.
Hey, hyung. You should let your members know that they don’t need to pressure Suho hyung into doing anything. It’s best for everybody if they don’t bring it up or bother him about it. If he feels like he’s under pressure, he’ll never try that new choreography. Let him figure it out on his own, okay?
D.O. texted back: Got it. Then he went to talk to his members.
Suho worried that his members would bring it up again, but they didn’t. He was tense on Baekhyun’s night and on Chen’s, too, but they didn’t mention anything about it. He was relieved, and after he got through their nights, he breathed a little easier.
It was still on his mind, though. He really wanted to try it. He was kind of preoccupied with the idea. Topping. Being inside Baekhyun. Making Chen moan like that. Feeling Kai move on his cock. He had hot, demanding dreams about Chunji and woke up grinding his erection against Sehun.
When he was busy, pinging around from one schedule to another, he could distract himself with work. But when he was around the dorm, and he had nowhere to be, nothing to do, it was harder to ignore his body’s urges. Harder to ignore his own interest in his members. Trying to relax on the couch one night, he kept being preoccupied. Kept noticing things. How sexy Kai’s mouth was. How smooth and agile Lay’s movements were. How handsome Sehun was, strolling around laughing. Xiumin and Chanyeol started making out right in front of him, and he just sat there, watching it. He felt horny. He was fascinated, like he’d never seen them together before, like he’d never fully appreciated the delicate shape of Xiumin’s lips or the low, lusty sound of Chanyeol’s groans. When Xiumin dragged Chanyeol out of the room, into the bedroom, Suho envied how easy it was for them, how comfortable they were doing whatever they liked.
It was their dorm; they should be comfortable.
This was his dorm, too. Maybe he should be comfortable. It was just a couch, his own couch in his own dorm, not some bus station in the middle of the city. He showered in front of his members; why couldn’t he kiss in front of them? That wasn’t so much to ask, was it? That wasn’t some shameful, shocking thing to hide. Just kissing.
Baekhyun flopped down beside Suho on the couch with a noisy sigh, legs sprawled.
Sehun slumped on the chair, looking bored. Lay came over and sat on his lap.
Baekhyun flicked his fingers through his bangs. He had really pretty hands. Such pretty ways of gesturing, of touching, of holding things.
Lay undid Sehun’s fly, drawing his cock out. Suho couldn’t see well at that angle, but he recognized the color in Sehun’s cheeks, the sparkle in Sehun’s eyes.
Baekhyun was watching, too. Nibbling on the pad of his thumb.
Lay slid down, kneeling in between Sehun’s thighs, and started to suck.
Suho licked his lips. “Baekhyun-ah.” It just came out. It felt terrifying. It felt natural.
“Mmm,” Baekhyun said, gaze riveted on Lay and Sehun.
Suho licked his lips again, turned on, a little bit anxious. Hopeful. Horny, so horny. “Baekhyun-ah.”
“Unh-hunh.” Baekhyun squirmed a little, staring. Lay was making wet, messy sounds on Sehun’s cock, and Sehun was murmuring, “Yeah, hyung, keep going.”
Suho was a little bit annoyed, now. Why couldn’t his members ever pay any attention to him? “Baekhyun-ah.”
“Mmm?” Baekhyun flicked a glance at him, gaze immediately going right back to Lay and Sehun. Then he blinked and gave Suho a smile, laughing nervously. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He looked self-consciously around the room, and then he looked at Suho, leaning back slightly. “What?”
“Do you, um.” He licked his lips, not sure how to ask. He’d never asked in public. But this wasn’t public, it was his home, this was his dongsaeng, it wasn’t weird.
“Do I what?” Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he laughed again. “Don’t you want to ask Chen? It’s his night, isn’t it? I was last night - - did you forget about me?” he demanded. “Did you forget about that already?” Now he was getting indignant. “I - - that’s not - - I was great last night!”
“Why do you talk so much?” Suho asked. Flustered and fed up, he almost gave up. “No one forgot about anything.” He was turned on, and Sehun was moaning, and he needed to do something about it. “I liked it,” he admitted, leaning closer. “I always like it between us.”
Baekhyun’s breath faltered for a second. “You do?” he asked, looking kind of delighted, kind of turned on, his gaze flickering down to Suho’s mouth.
“Yeah,” he said, and he leaned in just a little more, his lips parting. “Can I just,” he whispered, all kinds of things fluttering in his chest.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun breathed, “yeah, okay.”
“Just for a second,” he whispered, and he pressed his lips to Baekhyun’s.
It was perfect. It was just right, normal, familiar, and it was perfect. Their lips fit together like they always did, and kissing Baekhyun turned him on like it always did, and breath shuddered out of him. He loved Baekhyun’s soft, delicate lips, and when they parted for him, he moaned, licking in. God, god, he’d just moaned, he was moaning out loud where anyone could hear him. He shivered, thinking that he should stop, he should get away, he’d made a mistake here. And then Baekhyun shivered, too, moaned, too, and he knew those cues, he was used to those cues, his dongsaeng was turned on.
Wanting to soothe, wanting to please, knowing what Baekhyun wanted, he slipped Baekhyun a little more tongue. Rubbing Baekhyun’s back, he coaxed Baekhyun closer. Between slow, deep kisses, Baekhyun whispered, “Oh, god, hyung.” He rubbed the small of Baekhyun’s back, pulling Baekhyun’s shirt up a little to get to skin. In the back of his mind he thought that he’d stop at any minute, but he was really turned on, and kissing was so good, god, he couldn’t stop just yet.
Baekhyun’s hands fluttered over his thighs, patted at his chest. Remembering what Changjo had said, he teased Baekhyun with his tongue, and Baekhyun moaned noisily, gripping his shirt and throwing a leg over his. Sliding his hand into Baekhyun’s hair, he tilted Baekhyun’s head to just where he wanted it, kissing slower, indulging himself, really getting what he wanted. Moaning, making all kinds of noise, Baekhyun collapsed against him, one hand rubbing insistently at his chest, tugging on his shirt with needy little pulls.
When Baekhyun’s thumb rubbed over his nipple, he squirmed, too turned on for that. Too turned on for everything, god. Just kissing, only kissing, was some kind of amazing torment. He wanted more, but he couldn’t have more, not here, not like this, so he did everything he could, got everything he could out of it, poured all of his desire, his need, into his kisses. He was moaning a lot, but he was so turned on, he couldn’t stop it, needy sounds of pleasure rising right out of him.
Baekhyun was as turned on as he was, shuddering and quivering against him, feeling him up, moaning. He was used to doing things when Baekhyun got like this; he was used to responding in certain ways. Used to taking clothes off, stroking Baekhyun’s cock, going down on Baekhyun, getting the lube. It was hard to hold back, hard not to respond to the usual cues in the usual way. He felt like he was battling his instincts; he kept wanting to reach for Baekhyun’s cock. Stroking the small of Baekhyun’s back, he toyed with the waistband of Baekhyun’s underwear, wanting to take it off, wanting to feel Baekhyun naked in his hands.
“Oh, god, hyung,” Baekhyun gasped, squirming closer. Moaning, he pushed his hand down the back of Baekhyun’s underwear, his fingers sliding along the cleft of Baekhyun’s ass.
Realizing what he was doing, right in the middle of the dorm, on the couch, he gasped, jerking back. For a second, he and Baekhyun stared at each other, and he felt hot, felt shocked, wanted more, wanted to get away. Baekhyun looked flushed, staring at him, lips parted and red, expression horny and dazed, and he couldn’t believe that he’d made Baekhyun look like that on the couch.
Then he realized that the other members were staring. All of the other members were staring. Sehun and Xiumin’s mouths were hanging open; Lay was masturbating. D.O.’s hand was clamped over Chanyeol’s mouth. Kai was eyeing Suho with the same devouring intensity he turned on the other members before he mounted them. “No, no,” Chen said. “Don’t stop now.”
“I,” Suho said, swallowing, embarrassed, wiping his hand over his mouth. “Room, my room, I have to do something in my room,” he babbled. He was so eager to get off of the couch that he practically fell off of it, stumbling across the room. “In my room,” he explained, and he ran away.
In his room, he hopped around helplessly, not sure what to do. His body was sending all kinds of signals, scrambling up his thoughts, telling him to go back to Baekhyun, telling him to finish what he’d started. Making out was the problem, he wasn’t built for making out, he needed the rest of it, getting all worked up and then stopping wasn’t the way! How did people do this? He was halfway out the door, intent on going straight to Xiumin and asking for it, before he grabbed at the doorjamb and forced himself back into his room. Groaning, uncomfortable, he rubbed himself through his pants.
But he thought of the last time that something like this had happened. The last time he’d been caught making out on the couch. “Not dead yet?” No. No, it hadn’t killed him. He’d tried it, and he had a lot of feelings about it, but he’d survived it.
He wanted to do it again. He wanted to go back. He wanted Baekhyun. He felt like he’d always want Baekhyun, like it would never be safe to go near that couch again. His cock was just so hard, and he loved the way Baekhyun shuddered against him and kissed him back, god, his pretty, sexy dongsaeng…
Groaning again, he threw himself across his bed. He squirmed, grimacing, adjusting himself in his pants. He texted Sunggyu, and L, and Changjo. I tried that thing tonight. On the couch. Remembering the way he’d found his members gathered around, staring, he squirmed again, uncomfortable. Why couldn’t they mind their own business sometimes? It was just kissing on the couch, they did it all of the time, he couldn’t try it once?
His phone rang. It was Changjo. Embarrassed, he licked his lips and answered. “Ah, dongsaeng-ah.” His voice shook and cracked; he cleared his throat.
“Who was it?” Changjo asked. “How was it? Who was it? How far did you go? Are you okay? Tell me everything, tell me all about it.”
“You shouldn’t be so nosy about a hyung’s private business,” he scolded. He hesitated, licking his lips again. He remembered kissing Baekhyun, Baekhyun caressing his chest and moaning, Baekhyun’s smooth, warm skin. He felt like his cock would always be this hard. “It was Baekhyun. Nothing happened, don’t get so excited. We just…” He couldn’t describe kissing over the phone!
“Was it good? You should try it again. You can’t make assumptions about it after just one time, you have to try it again. Do it tomorrow and see what happens.”
He couldn’t talk about this. It was too fresh; he felt too flustered. “I have to go. Get some sleep. Listen to your hyungs.” He missed Baekhyun. He craved sex. “Changjo-ah.”
“I’ll come over right now,” Changjo said immediately.
“No! No, no, don’t.”
“Okay, but be nice to Chen hyung tonight. Don’t lock him out of his own room. Let him in, let good things happen.”
Chen, god. He wished that Chen would walk in that instant. He hoped that Chen would stay away until he’d calmed down. He felt like he’d never calm down. “I will. Good night.”
“Congratulations, hyung.” Changjo hung up.
He rolled over, aching. His phone rang again. He told himself not to answer it, but he couldn’t resist. “L-ah.” He winced, needing to touch himself again. “I can’t talk about it.”
“How was it?” L asked.
He wanted to tell L how incredibly horny he felt. He wanted to tell L how great it had been. “I…”
“Who was it?”
L’s chuckle was so sexy, he bit his lip, aching. “And he let you off the couch? How much did you get done before he let you up?”
“Nothing happened! It wasn’t like that!” It could’ve been, though. Baekhyun had wanted it. Baekhyun had wanted him. It wasn’t even Baekhyun’s night, and he’d felt Baekhyun needing it from him. He licked his lips, feeling kind of sexy, feeling flattered. He knew that his members took turns coming to his room because they wanted to be there; it wasn’t only out of some sense of obligation. But it was still nice to have Baekhyun respond to him like that and not nudge him away. Oh, god, what if Baekhyun had turned him down?! What if he tried to put the moves on Sehun or something and Sehun brushed him off? “When you - - oh, who am I asking?” He rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Your members never say no to you, do they?”
“My members? Let’s try it,” L said. “Woohyun hyung, are you busy? Could I talk to you for a second?”
“Not right now!” Suho protested.
L chuckled, then made a soft, sexy sound right in Suho’s ear. “I think I got a yes this time. Should I ask another one?”
Burning up with fever, Suho sputtered, still protesting.
“L’s busy now,” Woohyun said, and the call ended.
Why were they like that all of the time? Infinite’s dorm was a scandal.
Changjo texted, “Call me tomorrow.”
L texted, “You did well, hyung, enjoy it,” and then a bunch of random letters and symbols that didn’t make any sense. Suho decided not to think about what Woohyun was doing to make L lose control like that.
Breathing shallowly, Suho tried to calm himself down, but his whole body was tense with need, and he kept thinking about the couch, about Baekhyun, about what might’ve happened if he’d taken Baekhyun’s shirt off, undone Baekhyun’s fly.
Sunggyu called. Shuddering, he rolled over. “Hi, hyung.”
“You’re having a good night?”
Closing his eyes, he pushed his hand down the front of his pants. He didn’t even think about it, he just did it, stroking himself. “I miss you.”
“I think I know what it is about hyung that you miss so much.”
He bit his lip, stifling a groan, his hips pushing up against his hand. “I really miss you.”
“I don’t think that you stayed on the couch long enough.”
“You,” he gasped, his breath coming too fast, “you always know too much.”
“You’re my dongsaeng, of course I know all about you. Who’s tonight, whose turn is it, I don’t keep track of those things.”
“M-m-my Chen.” He rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow, smothering his shaky, needy moans. Thrusting into his hand, he felt like he was burning up from the inside out. His pants were slipping down, his ass in the air, and he wished that someone would come in, wished that Xiumin would walk in and take over, give him what he was aching for. “Hyung,” he whispered, shuddering.
“Chen’s a good dongsaeng,” Sunggyu said. “He’ll do everything for you, he’ll make sure that you have whatever you need. But you have to do the same thing for him, too. Are you going to do it?”
“Yes,” he panted, jacking himself desperately, pleasure making him dizzy.
“Are you listening to hyung? You’ll take good care of your dongsaeng, like he always takes good care of you?”
“It’s not - - that’s not - - you’re not being fair.” He wished that Sunggyu were there in the room with him, stripping his clothes off, fingering him. He wished that Baekhyun were there, licking his cock, sucking him off. Groaning, he arched his back, tightening his grip on himself. Oh, god, he needed to come.
“Should I be nicer to you?” Sunggyu asked. His voice was softer now. “Should I say nice things? Do nice things to you, things that you like?” Suho whimpered, loving it, unable to take it, and he said, “Hyung knows the things you like, Money-ah. You know hyung knows all about it.”
Crying out, he came. Dropping the phone, he clutched at his pillow, shoving it into his mouth, shouting into it as ecstasy caused a riot in his body. His hips thrusting meaninglessly, he spurted everywhere, shooting all over the bed. Whimpering, shivering, he chewed on the pillow, lingering pleasure making his skin prickle. Oh, god. Coming back to himself, he shook himself awake. Looking down at the mess he’d made, he grimaced. He pushed away from it and found his phone. Guilty, embarrassed, he asked, “Hyung?”
“Feel better?” Sunggyu asked.
So much better. Ashamed, but better. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be sorry, you’ve started things you can’t finish and now I’m going to have to bother my members about it.”
Embarrassed, titillated, he licked his lips. Had he turned Sunggyu on? “Hyung?”
“Don’t mind that. You tried the couch tonight, and you survived it?”
“Yes, I survived.”
“Good. You don’t always have to hop off of the couch, Money-ah. You can stay and enjoy some things. Or you can take your dongsaengs from the couch to the bedroom with you, give them a little tour of the dorm, let them enjoy both rooms. Got it?”
Flushed, unsure, intrigued, he licked his lips. “I understand.”
“Okay. Come to see me soon. Or I’ll go to you. But you should come to see me. There are things that I want to say in person.”
“Me, too,” he confessed. “I’ll visit soon.”
“Did it go everywhere?” Sunggyu asked. “Don’t answer that. But where - - don’t answer that, we won’t talk about that.”
Shocked, turned on, he glanced down at the puddle soaking his sheets. “Where - - where did you want it to be?”
“There are a few places hyung likes to see it,” Sunggyu said, and Suho clenched his teeth together to keep from groaning out loud. He humped his bed, rubbing his soft dick back and forth in his own cum, thinking of the times he’d come for Sunggyu, the places Sunggyu had licked him clean. “Hyung,” he whispered, glad that no one could see him like this, wishing that Xiumin would come in.
“Hyung has to go,” Sunggyu said. “You have to hang up. Take good care of your members, Money-ah.”
“Hyung,” he said urgently, not wanting Sunggyu to go.
“I miss you, too, Money-ah. I’ll come over soon, I’ll take care of things.” With that promise, Sunggyu hung up.
Suho lingered in that thought for a moment, tweaking his own nipples and fantasizing about what Sunggyu might do to him. When he caught himself humping the bed again, dragging his cock through his cum puddle, he jumped up, ashamed. Hot, scolding himself, he tidied himself up, and then he changed his sheets.
He felt a lot better, felt more clear-headed, but he was still kind of horny. Embarrassed, he avoided his members, keeping his head down as he moved through the dorm. He got ready for bed. He wondered if he should apologize to Baekhyun, or explain himself.
He’d really liked making out on the couch. He wanted to do it again. He wasn’t sure how it might go next time, or who it might be with, but maybe that was part of the fun. He had a lot of different members with different moods and different desires, and it might be different every time.
He kind of wished that it were Xiumin’s night. He was also kind of grateful that it wasn’t, because he was sure that he’d humiliate himself. He wished that it were Baekhyun’s night. He felt like they’d left things unfinished; there was still a lot that he wanted to do.
He turned on the lamp and got in bed. He had foolish, flirty texts from Changjo that didn’t really say anything but managed to imply a dozen wicked things anyway. He had a text from L that said, “Sungjong and Dongwoo hyung said yes, too. Who else should I try?” He had a few thoughts about that, but he didn’t answer.
Chen leaned around the doorjamb with a shy, hopeful smile. “Is it okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” he said, exasperated and embarrassed.
Chen laughed and came in, closing the door. “I wasn’t sure.” He sat on the bed, his smile happy and curious. “Are you trying new things?”
“We don’t have to talk about it!” He sat up, messing with the sheets, flustered. “It’s fine, it’s just something that happened. It was nice. Well, you all do it all of the time,” he said, feeling the urge to defend himself.
“Nobody’s complaining!” Chen said, squeezing his arm, laughing. “I’ve never seen you kiss before.” Chen scooted closer, hand dropping to his thigh, rubbing lightly. The interest in Chen’s eyes was growing by the sentence. “I’m always the one doing it, myself, so I don’t know what it looks like. You’re really good-looking, hyung, I didn’t think that you’d be so handsome when you kissed.”
He felt himself blush, felt the heat in his cheeks. “It’s just kissing,” he mumbled. Having Chen lean this close, Chen’s hand on his thigh, was stirring him up, making him warm. He put a hand on Chen’s waist, encouraging Chen closer.
Chen kissed him, then smiled at him, stroking the inside of his thigh. “You do some funny things with your eyebrows, though.”
Indignant, he pinched Chen’s waist. “I’ve seen you make all kinds of faces!”
Chuckling, Chen kissed him again.
It was always good with Chen. He’d had such a tense, explosive night, it was a relief to sink into the gratifying pleasure he knew he’d find with Chen. They made out, hot for each other, responding to each other, turned on. Curling around him, Chen kissed his cheek and stroked his hair. “What do you need?”
He needed everything. He didn’t know what he needed. But this wasn’t about him. “What do you need?” he asked, stroking Chen’s cock.
“Mmm, this, it’s nice.” They kissed, and Chen moved against him. Hips rolling, Chen moaned. He knew that moan; he knew that move. He knew this dongsaeng.
A thrill went through him. A deep, sexual thrill.
This was the moment where he usually did his best to respond to Chen’s desires. He’d use his fingers and his tongue, and it always worked well. He knew what Chen liked, and he thought that he was pretty good at it.
But he had more to offer than his fingers and his tongue. There was something else that he could do.
Still kissing, he patted around until he’d found the bottle Chen had dropped. He slipped his wet fingers in, and Chen moaned, drawing a knee up, kissing him harder. His goals were a little different tonight, so he used more lube than usual, going back to the bottle to make sure that he had enough. Usually all he cared about was getting Chen off, but he thought that he should make sure that Chen was relaxed tonight, make sure that Chen was open for him, so he tried to stretch Chen, too. He couldn’t tell if Chen noticed anything different; Chen was moaning a lot, turned on, kissing him, stroking him all over, squeezing his ass.
Just thinking about doing this, really doing it, was so exciting, he felt flustered, felt worked up. That same deep thrill kept shooting through him, turning him on, putting him on edge. He pushed his fingers deep inside Chen, and Chen groaned, grip tightening on his ass. Having his fingers buried in that lubed tunnel made him want to bury something else in there, and he moaned, grinding his erection against Chen’s thigh. Chen twisted against him, moaning, “Ooohhh, hyung,” and he had to do this, he wanted it. He really wanted Chen like this, really needed it so badly, and Chen was so sexy, so ready for it. He wanted to fuck Chen, his whole body burned with the desire for it, lust making his hips rock. They were humping each other, grinding against each other, Chen groaning breathlessly. It was an effort not to slide inside Chen, a struggle to keep his cock to himself, and he couldn’t believe that he’d waited this long.
“Chen-ah,” he panted, his voice low and shaky. “Chen-ah, let’s try it. I want to try it.”
“God, hyung,” Chen moaned, kissing him.
He couldn’t pretend that this was all for Chen’s sake. This wasn’t generosity. This was something that he needed, something his body craved. Rolling onto his back, he tried to wriggle into position. Taking himself in hand, he tried to guide Chen’s hips, and when the head of his erection nudged Chen’s ass, he groaned, feeling that thrill again. “Chen-ah, please.”
“Oh, god, don’t tease,” Chen moaned, rubbing against him. Chen moved like someone who’d done this a lot, someone who knew exactly what to do, and that was such a turn-on that Suho squirmed again, trying to get in him. “Ahhh, don’t tease.”
“I’m not teasing,” he panted, his cockhead wet with lube. “I’m trying to fuck you, let me in, I’m going to die out here.”
“Not teasing?” Eyes opening, Chen stared down at him, breathing hard, looking stunned.
He was tired of talking about it. He didn’t have time to talk, he needed to do it, god, he needed this so badly. “Chen-ah,” he insisted, fumbling with his cock, pulling on Chen’s thigh, trying to line things up, desperate now.
“Oh, oh, god, yes,” Chen said, shifting, and then the head of Suho’s cock was in. Snug and hot, slick and welcoming, fuck, oh, it felt incredible. Amazed, addicted, Suho tried to go deeper, bucking up under Chen, working his hips this way and that, moaning. He was squirming, thrusting, and every little twitch moved his cock inside Chen, worked him deeper in Chen’s ass.
He hadn’t thought that it would be so tight, god, he hadn’t known that it would feel so incredible. His cock was being swallowed up in some kind of hot paradise, and he wanted to get the rest of it in, come on, come on, he wanted all of it. “Chen-ah,” he gasped, thrusting up again.
“Ooohhh, oh, I’m dreaming,” Chen panted. He shifted on top of Suho, rolling his hips, taking Suho just a little bit deeper, then a little more. “God, god, hyung, oooohhhh.”
How could it feel like this? Suho’s erection throbbed, making his hips move, making him writhe, making him want to thrust and thrust and thrust. “Have to fuck you,” he moaned, pulling down on Chen’s hips.
“Yes, unnnnhh, f-f-f-fuck,” Chen panted, squirming on top of him. With another roll of the hips, Chen sank down the whole way, burying Suho inside of himself. They groaned together, and Suho squeezed Chen’s ass, clutched at Chen’s waist, trying to force Chen down even farther, trying to push up into him. “So good, unh.” With a shaky laugh, Chen squirmed again, and Suho groaned, pleasure flooding him. “Ooohhh, wow.” Smiling from ear to ear, Chen stroked Suho’s chest. “Can I stay up here all night?”
“Just keep doing that,” Suho panted, trying to get him to move. “Don’t stop.”
Chen shifted, and they moaned together. Then he did it again, ripping a desperate groan out of Suho, pleasure pulsing up Suho’s cock. “God, unnnhh, ooohhh. Hyung,” he moaned. He was moving up and down, creating a rhythm, rolling his hips, rocking on Suho’s erection. “Oh, god. It’s perfect, it’s so good, hyung, you feel so good inside me.”
“So good, ah, I need more, oh, oh, more,” Suho insisted. He was being demanding and he wasn’t sorry, he wasn’t embarrassed, he needed this. The hot, exquisite pleasure of being in Chen’s ass was turning him on in ways he’d never felt before. His cock was being swallowed over and over again by snug, clenching heat, and every time Chen moved, ecstasy lanced him. He couldn’t get enough, and Chen kept giving him more. The smooth, demanding rolling of Chen’s hips amazed him; all of that experience had taught Chen to move in ways he hadn’t fully appreciated before.
“Yeah, ooooohhh.” Chen groaned, fondling himself, moving faster now, up and down on Suho’s cock. “Fuck, ohh, yes. Oh, hyung, yeah, give it to me.”
“Take it, take everything,” Suho panted, pulling on his hips.
Laughing breathlessly, Chen rode him quickly, rocking eagerly on top of him. “It’s incredible, shit, I knew it was going to be good, but it’s even better, god. Love this, I love it.”
Suho was glad that it was good for Chen, but he didn’t have the discipline to do anything about that. Ecstasy was blazing through him, rendering him incapable of doing anything but begging for more. He’d expected to like this - - he liked everything about sex - - but he hadn’t realized that it would rile up all of these hot, urgent feelings. All of this agonizing pleasure. His whole body was in a state of emergency. “Take my dick, take it,” he insisted desperately, and then he moaned, shuddering all over and squeezing Chen’s ass.
“God hyung, your dick is so hard, ah, oh,” Chen panted.
This desperate, needy, out-of-control feeling, it was what sex always was for him, it was just like being fucked. The incredible highs of pleasure, the insatiable craving for more, his body’s intense demands, the soaring ecstasy, his shameful need, it was all the same. The contrast of having his cock inside Chen or Chen’s inside him made some physical difference, but as far as Suho’s voracious, responsive need was concerned, sex was sex, and he had to have more.
Chen gave him more, riding him so well. He took forever to come, his cock rigid and swollen like a stubborn beast. In the haze of his lust, he stared at Chen, amazed, stunned by the sight of his handsome, beloved dongsaeng sliding up and down on his cock. It was obscene, it was impossibly obscene, and he felt like he was getting away with something by doing this, watching this, being a witness to Chen’s private sexual acts.
Chen rode him long and hard, hugging his erection in that snug tunnel, bouncing up and down on him. The more demanding Chen was, the louder Suho became, howling his pleasure, begging for more of Chen’s ass. Masturbating, Chen came with gorgeous moans and thick squirts, and Suho was captivated, loving him, needing him, gripping his thighs and shuddering underneath him.
When his own orgasm finally came, he shouted Chen’s name, his whole body wracked in the throes of passion, rapturous ecstasy transforming him in an erotic eruption. It felt like he came for ages, shaking, crying out, spurting and spurting and spurting. Groaning, Chen said, “Oh, yes, there it is, give it to me,” and he shuddered, spurting again.
Gasping for breath, he couldn’t believe that it was over. Drained, ecstatic, he whimpered, dazed. He tried to pat at Chen, but his hands were shaking.
Moaning, sounding gorgeously satisfied, Chen lifted off of him. He was still dribbling, and Chen was dripping, and he groaned, ashamed. “Oh, it’s everywhere,” Chen said, laughing. Grabbing a handful of tissues from the nightstand, Chen wiped them both off, and then he pulled Chen’s body closer, needing some comfort, some reassurance, embarrassed by his own neediness but knowing that Chen wouldn’t mind. Making a soft, comforting sound, Chen hugged him, stroking his hair, and he pressed his cheek to Chen’s chest, just holding on, soaking up his dongsaeng’s affection.
It was mortifying to be like this. He felt like he’d just lost his virginity again. A simple thing like sex shouldn’t rattle him! He had sex all of the time. He had sex with Chen every eight days! But, god. Not sex like this. “Was it supposed to be that good?” he asked. “I don’t think it was supposed to be that good.”
“Did I do it wrong?” Chen asked, laughing. Humming softly, Chen nuzzled against him. It was so familiar, so loving, that he felt soothed by it, and he started to relax. “Should I thank you?” Chen asked quietly, kissing his cheek. “Thank you. I wanted that for a long time.”
“I was terrible, wasn’t I? I was bad.” He had to face it. He wanted to acknowledge his mistakes so that he could work on it. “I’ll do better next time.”
“No, you were great,” Chen assured him, chuckling, kissing him. The affection in Chen’s smile made him believe it. “I’m glad that you have so much stamina, I’m glad that you can stay hard for so long. I’d be disappointed if I finally got your cock and you came fast, that wouldn’t have been fair! But I got to stay up there as long as I wanted. It was really the best.”
“I’ll learn more until next time,” he promised, stroking Chen’s back. “I’ll pick up techniques.”
“Mmm.” Chen’s smile was delighted. “Are you going to practice on the members?”
The other members! There were other guys he could do this with? For a moment, his mind spun. “My life is too good,” he said, dazed. But he had to do this right. “I think that Baekhyun will be next. I think that it matters more to him than to some of the other members. Chen was first, but Baekhyun should be second.”
“He’ll be so excited, he’ll be embarrassing,” Chen predicted, grinning. “It’s okay if you do it just like this, just get hard and put him on top. Baekhyun knows what to do, and he likes being on top, it gets him worked up when hyungs watch him.”
The images and thoughts taking over Suho’s mind were so hot he thought his brain would melt. Hugging Chen, he moaned. “How can I wait a whole week?”
“How can I wait a whole week?” Chen demanded, laughing. “I finally got what I’ve been waiting for, and now I have to wait again? It doesn’t seem fair! Eight days is the longest time, I’ll suffer all week.”
“Was it okay?” Suho knew that he was fishing for compliments; he blushed. “Everything fit okay? It didn’t feel weird? Nothing’s too big or too small?”
“Ah, it was perfect,” Chen assured him, caressing his cheek. He was grateful; this dongsaeng was always there for him. “Nothing’s too big, don’t worry about that!” Chen teased, and he turned away, blushing harder. Laughing, Chen pulled him back, gathering him into another hug. “But nothing’s too small, either. It was perfect, hyung, really. I’ve wanted it for a long time. When I first felt you in me, I thought I’d come, it was so good.”
“Me, too,” he admitted. He wondered if, next time, he could try being on top. He honestly wasn’t sure if he had the self-control for it. But he wanted to try it. He wanted to be able to fuck Chen all of the ways that Chen liked it. He wanted to do all of the things that his members liked. He wanted to be the kind of top that would turn Kai on and get Xiumin off.
Feeling like he’d just overcome a hurdle, feeling proud of himself for it, looking forward to trying more, he kissed Chen’s cheek. “Thank you, dongsaeng-ah.”
“Mmm. You’re welcome,” Chen murmured, kissing him. “God, I love your cock.”
Chen felt giddy. He’d looked forward to this for a long time, and he’d been afraid that he’d never have it. Now that he’d finally done it, he couldn’t believe it. He wanted to tell everybody! He had a great secret burning in his chest, and he had to get it out!
He couldn’t stay away from Suho. He gravitated towards Suho all of the time, backstage, in dressing rooms, at lunch. He pushed other members out of his way so that he could sit beside Suho, and he hugged Suho all of the time, for no reason. Skinship with Suho was amazing, he couldn’t get enough.
Sometimes Suho would get embarrassed, and turn red, and that only made him happier, made him laugh, because they had this amazing secret between them, this fantastic shared experience. Sometimes Suho would be focused on work, and would just put an arm around him, patting his back, distracted and talking to the other members, talking to management, letting him snuggle in as much as he wanted. He loved it.
The sex had been great. He couldn’t have said enough about how great it had been. Having Suho spread out under him, begging for more, had been incredibly hot, and Suho’s gorgeous cock had gotten him off hard, so hard, oh, god. But it wasn’t just the great sex that meant so much to him. It was that barrier coming down between them; it was feeling closer to Suho. It was knowing that Suho trusted him. It had been hard for Suho to take this step, but Suho had been willing to open up and trust him enough to try it. He felt like they were closer than ever, now.
He couldn’t wait to have it again. He couldn’t wait for the rest of the members to get it! He felt really proud of Suho; he felt really happy for what this meant for EXO.
Suho tried to focus on work, because as soon as he let any other thoughts enter his mind, his brain went straight there, to last night. To Chen. To Chen rocking on top of him, sliding up and down on his cock, moaning, “Oh, yes, there it is, give it to me.” Shit. He couldn’t think about things like that, it totally destroyed him, it made heat flash all over him, it made him shake. Chen, his Chen, on top of him like that.
He’d been inside Chen. That seemed like a shocking, miraculous thing, to be inside another person. It was so trusting, it was so intimate, he couldn’t believe that Chen had let him.
But Chen loved him. Loved him enough to do that with him. He was amazed by it; he felt more grateful to Chen than ever.
He could believe, he really believed, now, that Sunggyu had been right about this bringing everyone closer. He felt like the bond between himself and his members would be stronger than ever, if he kept doing this. He felt like something had changed between him and Chen, like something new had grown between them. Whatever part of his heart Chen had owned before, it had grown ten times over since last night.
He couldn’t wait to try it with the other members. The thought embarrassed him; he couldn’t just make assumptions about what they’d like and what they’d be willing to do! But he really wanted to try it. With all of them. He thought that Chanyeol might be weird about it, though. And he wasn’t as sure about Xiumin; the idea of doing that to a hyung made him nervous and really, really turned on. But he was really eager for Baekhyun’s night; he was so excited about it, he got flustered and happy every time he talked to Baekhyun, laughed too hard at all of Baekhyun’s jokes, blushed at everything. That earned him a lot of weird looks; his members could tell that something was up.
He had to talk to someone; he wanted to share his good news, to brag about last night. As soon as he got back to the dorm, he texted L and Changjo and Sunggyu, asking them to call.
Changjo called and asked, “What, what?”
“I did it,” he blurted out. “I did the thing.”
“What thing?” Changjo asked. “No, you didn’t. Holy shit, hyung, did you? Chen hyung, it was Chen hyung, right? What happened, are you okay? I’m coming over.”
“Coming over for what? I don’t want to see you.” He was so horny, he was itching to see Changjo. With his members, he had a sexual timetable, so sex was compartmentalized, regulated. With Changjo, sex was spontaneous, unscheduled, and that only added to his excitement, added to the feeling that he was out of control.
“I’m coming over,” Changjo repeated. “I just have to get rid of my members, first. Send me a selca, I want to see what you look like now that you’ve done it. Who’s next, can I be next?”
“Maknae,” he complained, embarrassed, turned on. He walked around his room, hopping a little, trying to ignore how quickly his cock was hardening. God, were his sexual urges stronger, now? Was that even possible? He was doomed, what the hell was he going to do? “There’s no list, no one’s next.” That wasn’t true. “Baekhyun, he - - I think - - he’s waited a long time.” He messed with his hair, self-conscious.
“Did Chen hyung like it? He loved it, right?”
“Don’t talk about things like that! I’m going to have to hang up.”
“Good, you hang up, I have to get rid of my members. I’ll be over later. Congratulations! I’ll bet you worked hard.”
“Maknae!” he exclaimed, but Changjo had already hung up on him. That kid! Embarrassed, he played with his hair for a second. It kept his hand busy, kept him from touching his cock. Since Changjo had asked for one, he took a selca. Laughing, ashamed, he was surprised by how flushed and happy he looked. He deleted it, too embarrassed to send it, and then he turned in a circle, at a loss, horny, hopeful. His gaze landed on Chen’s bed and he automatically took a few steps toward it. Catching himself, he backed up, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of it. The soft mattress. The rumpled, blue sheets. He imagined Chen lying there. Lying there and watching him. He imagined going over there and-
The strength of his own desires startled him, and he jumped away, alarmed, ashamed. He hurried away; maybe a brisk walk around the dorm was what he needed.
As soon as they got back to the dorm, Baekhyun went right for the couch. The couch had worked miracles for him last night, and he wanted to make it happen again.
He hadn’t realized that all of the other members would have the same idea. By the time he sat down, Sehun and Chanyeol were already there. As soon as he planted his butt, Lay was smushing in with the rest of them. “Hey,” Baekhyun complained, not happy about this. If everyone sat, there wouldn’t be any room for Suho! “Don’t you have to go change, or something?” he asked, pushing at Sehun.
“Yeah, go change,” Xiumin said. He dragged Sehun off of the couch and sat down, instead.
“We can’t all be here,” Lay said. “You’re going to ruin it!”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Chen said. Laughing happily, he sat on the armrest, then stretched out, draping himself along the back of the couch. He’d been in a fantastic mood all day, like a suspiciously fantastic mood. Whatever was going on with Suho, Chen had definitely benefited from it last night. That made Baekhyun sick with jealousy, and super hopeful that whatever was going on lasted for another few days until it was Baekhyun’s turn.
But last night had proven that Suho was totally hot for Baekhyun, right? Like, it had to mean something that he was the one Suho had jumped on the couch, right? And Suho had been totally into him all day today, too. It was kind of embarrassing, how much Suho liked him all of a sudden. Maybe people were finally starting to appreciate how hot he was. About time!
Grinning at himself, he scooted around, getting comfortable.
“What…” Kai stood in front of the couch, staring at them. “Hyungs, seriously.”
“What?” Chanyeol asked innocently.
“Right, what?” Baekhyun asked.
Sehun took the other armrest, draping himself like Chen.
“Do you want Suho to paint you like a French girl?” Xiumin asked.
Sehun grinned. “Hey, whatever he’s into.”
“You, come on,” Kai said. “You can’t all act like this.”
“We need a bigger couch,” D.O. said. “Move over,” he insisted, pushing at Sehun and trying to crawl in between Sehun and Chanyeol.
“You, too?” Kai demanded.
Squishing in, D.O. looked at him with wide, round eyes. “I just want to sit on my own couch. There’s something wrong with that?”
“Okay, no, there’s too many people,” Lay said. “Out, off, get out.” He pushed at Chen and Chanyeol.
“Keep Baekhyun, he worked last time,” Xiumin said. “Keep Chen, he’s a good kisser.”
“Wait, what are you trying to say?” Chanyeol demanded, landing on the floor.
“I’m a great kisser,” Sehun said.
“According to who, your ego?” D.O. asked.
“According to your sub?” Baekhyun asked.
“How much do you even kiss him, anyway?” Chanyeol asked.
“You all get out, go to your rooms or something, you’ll ruin it,” Lay said, trying to shoo people away.
Baekhyun wasn’t going anywhere. He burrowed his butt deeper into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He was the only person Suho had ever kissed on this couch. He practically owned it now.
“If I had L.Joe, I’d kiss him all of the time,” Chanyeol speculated, lounging on the floor now. He took up a ton of space; Baekhyun thought it was kind of rude of him to be so long. “He has such a sexy mouth.”
“I like the way L.Joe kisses,” D.O. said. Xiumin shoved him off of the couch, and he went over to sit in a chair.
“You can’t all stand around watching,” Lay said. “Go to your rooms, seriously.”
“If we all thwart each other, no one will get anything,” Sehun said. “If we cooperate, more of us get more stuff, right? If we scare him off, he’ll never come back, but if we make it easier for him to do it this time, he’ll be more comfortable trying it next time, right?”
The maknae had a point. “Everybody get out, then,” Baekhyun said.
“Rock, paper, scissors?” Chanyeol suggested.
Suho came out of his room. Frowning, he marched determinedly across the dorm, not even glancing at them.
They waited until he’d passed, and then they leaned in. It took a few rounds to determine who got to stay, and while they whispered over the game, Suho kept marching around the dorm, brow furrowed. It was just a thing that he did sometimes; they ignored him.
Baekhyun and Lay won. Xiumin and D.O. won the right to stay and watch. Everyone else had to get lost. Feeling triumphant about owning the couch, Baekhyun scooted around, trying a few positions, sitting this way and that. What looked sexy without making it seem like he was trying too hard?
Suho came right over and collapsed between them on the couch. It was too good to be true; Baekhyun shot D.O. a “do you see this, what do I do now?” look and D.O. just gave him a raised eyebrow back.
Suho slumped back, pouting a little. He patted around without looking and found the remote, which was when Baekhyun realized how weird it was that the four of them had just been sitting there, not speaking, not doing anything, like strangers who’d lost their phones waiting for a bus.
Suho turned the TV on. “Changjo’s coming over,” he said, flipping channels.
“Oh, shit,” Baekhyun said. It slipped out too fast; he winced.
Suho gave him a weird look. “You don’t like it?”
“No, yes, I mean, it’s fine,” he said. “I was thinking about something else. It’s fine!” he insisted. “I love Changjo, don’t you love Changjo?” he asked Xiumin. But if Changjo was visiting, then Suho wouldn’t be on the couch with them.
“Love him,” Xiumin agreed.
“There’s nothing good on TV,” Lay said.
“Yeah, I see that,” Suho said, frowning at the TV and flipping channels faster.
Lay reached right out and ran his hand over Suho’s thigh. “Want to make out instead?”
Baekhyun’s jaw hit the floor. He wanted to scream and rewind time. He wanted to wave his hands frantically behind Suho’s head and warn Lay to stop before everything was ruined.
Suho laughed. “What, just like that?”
Lay’s smile was friendly and easy-going. “Sure, don’t you want to?”
Suho laughed again, shifting towards him. “You want to?”
Lay chuckled, a relaxed, happy sound, his dimples popping. “Don’t I always want to?”
Suho leaned towards him, one hand reaching back and dropping the remote in Baekhyun’s lap.
Baekhyun stared, astounded.
Like it was nothing, Lay cupped Suho’s jaw in one hand, guiding him closer. Lay’s lips parted, lashes drifting down, and their mouths met, just like that. Just like that.
Suho was kissing on the couch.
Baekhyun wanted to look at D.O. and Xiumin to confirm that someone else saw this, that this was really happening, but he couldn’t look away. Suho and Lay were really kissing. Lay’s tongue was in Suho’s mouth, god, he’d never seen that once before in his life. He’d known that this happened, it had been a fact for a while now, that Suho kissed Lay, but he’d never witnessed it, never been able to look right at it and watch it happen.
It blew his mind. It shook him a little. Suho really did this. With guys. With the members. Just kissed them, right on the mouth, like Xiumin or Kai or anyone else did.
Lay’s fingers were sliding into Suho’s hair. Suho moaned, a real moan, right out loud. Hearing that familiar, sexy, needy, turned on sound here, in this context, on the couch, right out in the middle of the living room, sent a ribbon of heat down Baekhyun’s spine. Holy shit. That was a private sound, a sound Suho only made behind closed doors, a sound Suho made for him. Since when was that a public sound, an around-the-dorm sound?
Suho’s hand ran over Lay’s chest. Feeling him up. Whimpering, Baekhyun squirmed, adjusting himself in his pants. God, this was really happening.
Lay’s arm circled Suho’s waist, drawing him closer. He moaned again, rubbing Lay’s chest. They were kissing like they really meant it, breathing hard, and when Lay tugged his own shirt up, Suho’s hand stole greedily over his bare skin.
Baekhyun felt like he was getting away with something, like he’d snuck in to watch something he’d never been meant to see. He felt like he was about to get caught. This all seemed really forbidden. This wasn’t as good as making out with Suho himself had been, but in its own way, it was even more intense. His cock was hard as a rock, and his world was changing with every second. If this was possible, what else might happen? Was this how life would be, from now on? What would it be like, if Suho just kept on acting like this, all of the time?
The other members were coming into the room, watching. Baekhyun swallowed, staring, rubbing his cramped cock. Suho kept stroking Lay’s body, caressing his torso, rubbing all over his skin, nudging his shirt up higher and higher. When Lay tried to take it off, Suho mumbled, “No, no,” and pulled it back down, but like seconds later Suho was nudging it up again, stroking under it, feeling him up.
Suho really liked kissing. Really, really got into it. He was moaning nonstop, making hungry, happy, wanting noises. He’d lean forward and press all up on Lay and practically crawl into Lay’s lap for a while, and then he’d groan and lean back, pulling Lay with him, tilting towards Baekhyun, making Baekhyun’s heart race, and then he’d press forward again, leaning Lay against the armrest. When Lay started rubbing his ass, he groaned, twisting closer against Lay, slanting his leg over Lay’s thighs. “Yeah, come on,” Lay panted, groping his thigh, pulling him closer.
“Oh, Lay,” Suho breathed, grinding against him, hips rolling.
Baekhyun could have gone up in flames. The sight of Suho moving like that, turned on and wanting it and trying to get it, would be emblazoned across his brain forever. And that soft, rough moan, that needy, horny, “Oh, Lay,” holy shit. Baekhyun had heard Suho say Lay’s name a million times, heard it in a thousand situations, but it had never, not once, sounded like that. Lay was the sexiest guy in the dorm, now, it was official, nothing could be done about it.
The doorbell rang.
“No!” Chanyeol exclaimed.
“Go get it, get it,” Chen whispered, shoving at Sehun.
“You get it,” Sehun said, probably not wanting to move, probably not looking away; Baekhyun wouldn’t know, he was trying to eat up every last second with his eyes before it stopped.
“Oh,” Suho said, lifting his head. He glanced towards the door, and then he turned red, visibly realizing that everyone was there, staring. He froze for a second, and then Lay kissed his cheek, still groping his ass. He laughed, blushing a brighter red, wiping at his mouth and then pushing at Lay’s hand. “Stop it! I can’t - - don’t - - I have to go, we can’t - - don’t be like this!”
“Mmm, but I like it,” Lay said, kissing his neck as he tried to get up, squeezing his thighs.
Wriggling away, laughing, looking mortified and thrilled, he shoved Lay’s hands off of him. “I have to go! Play with the other members, I have other things to do.”
“God, I’m so hard.” Flopping back, rosy-cheeked and smiling, Lay curved an arm up, one hand behind his head. He relaxed, his thighs spreading, his other hand rubbing slowly over the bulge in his pants. He looked so sexy, so edible, that Baekhyun whimpered, shifting towards him. “You got me all worked up,” he accused Suho with a dimpled smile. “My fat log’s about to shoot.”
“The way you talk!” Suho exclaimed, backing hurriedly away, delighted and scandalized all at once. “Don’t just say things like that!” He finally tore his gaze from Lay and looked around at the other members, and then he got all flustered and annoyed. “What are you all doing, standing around? No one knows how to answer a door anymore? Don’t you know that there’s a sunbae waiting out there? What’s wrong with everybody these days?” Grumbling, smoothing his clothes and fixing his hair, he walked away.
“Oh, god, am I dreaming?” Chanyeol asked in the loudest stage whisper possible.
“Fuck, hyung,” Sehun said, climbing on top of Lay.
“Don’t get in my way,” Baekhyun said, shoving Sehun’s leg aside and reaching for Lay’s fly.
Laughing, moaning, Lay said, “Yeah, that’s it,” and kissed Sehun, one hand sliding into Baekhyun’s hair.
When Suho opened the door, Changjo stared at him for a second, taking him in. He was bright red, he could barely hold still, and there was a huge tent in his pants. “Hyung,” Changjo said, laughing. “Have you been like this since last night?”
“Shut up,” Suho said, dragging him inside and closing the door. Taking that as a yes, he only laughed harder. It was so funny, so sexy to see Suho like this, all agitated and horny. “I didn’t invite you over so you could laugh at me!” Suho complained, pushing him towards the bedroom.
“You didn’t invite me, anyway,” he pointed out, letting Suho shove him into the bedroom. “You even told me that you didn’t want to see me. That was mean, hyung, what if you’d hurt my feelings?”
“Your feelings are fine.” When he closed the door, Suho immediately opened it again. He closed it, and Suho opened it, exclaiming, “We don’t need it shut! Are you making assumptions?”
“Aren’t we going to talk?” he asked. “Do you want to talk with the door open? Should we invite Chen hyung in, too, so I can get all of the details? I’ll go get him,” he offered, moving towards the hallway.
Suho grabbed at him, snatching him back. “Get - - stop it - - get in here!” Dragging him into the room, Suho forced the door shut. “Stop it before somebody hears you.”
“You’re the one who wanted the door open,” he pointed out. Suho was hilarious like this.
“Were you, did you…” Suho milled around in the one foot of space between him and the door, sneaking covetous, yearning looks at his body. “Have your members, I mean, how was your day, how’ve you been? Were you busy?”
Was this just Suho being flustered and not making sense? Or was this one of those times where Suho got incoherent and self-conscious trying to talk about sex? What was this hyung asking him? “Are you trying to find out if I got laid yet today?” he asked, delighted.
“Shut up,” Suho said. Splaying a hand over his chest, Suho tugged on the front of his shirt, leaning back against the door, gazing up at him and inhaling deeply, drinking him in with hungry eyes. “Did you, have you?”
“Why, what’s the answer you want to hear?” Loving this, he moved in good and close, letting Suho have him. His hands slid over Suho’s waist, and Suho moaned, arching, trying to pull him in for a kiss. Running his hands under Suho’s shirt, he breathed against Suho’s mouth, and Suho groaned, whispering his name like it hurt. “Do you want me to be all unsexed and horny so I can pound the fuck out of you? Or do you want me to have spent all day doing my members and still be hot enough for you to come over here and give it to you, too?”
“You, I just want you,” Suho breathed, and kissed him.
They groaned together, Suho’s need for it taking hold of them both. Yeah, they were about to have some incredible sex. Suho was grinding against him, desperate to rub that hard cock against him, trying to get off right there against his body. He half-pulled, half-carried Suho to the bed, and Suho fell back across the mattress, eager for it, dragging his shirt up, one hand fumbling for the lube.
He stripped off his own clothes in a heartbeat, glad to get rid of them. As soon as his cock was out, Suho was on it, kissing it, tongue stroking all over him. Turned on, loving this, he stayed on his knees, cupping the back of Suho’s head, watching Suho feed on his cock. Sinking back, pulling him along, Suho reclined against the pillows, mouthing his hard-on, sucking him, and he undulated, sliding back and forth between Suho’s lips. The look of it totally turned him on, his cock right in Suho’s handsome face, his hard meat thrusting between Suho’s reddened lips. “Spoil me a little, hyung, lick it for me.”
Groaning, Suho jacked his cock, licking at the head, tongue wet and hungry on him. Arousal made him ache, and he moaned, staring down at Suho’s upturned face. This beautiful hyung wanted him this badly; it was the biggest turn-on in the world, to have someone so enthralled, to have someone willing to give him anything and everything. Cupping the back of Suho’s neck, he gently nudged his thick cockhead back between Suho’s lips, and Suho moaned, swallowing him down, taking the whole thing. Watching Suho’s red lips close around the base of his cock, Suho’s nose buried in his black pubes, feeling Suho’s hands slide over his thighs, one hand gripping his ass and trying to pull him deeper, Suho’s mouth hot and needy on him, he shuddered, pleasure burning swiftly through him. “Like this,” he panted, thrusting a little, and Suho whimpered, sucking hard. “Take my cock like this, I’m gonna come in your mouth.”
Suho slurped on him, sucking his cock with single-minded devotion. He rocked shallowly, controlling himself, fascinated by the rhythm of his long shaft dragging between Suho’s lips. Suho clung to him, squeezing his ass, sucking hard. In between happy, mewling whimpers, Suho made low, gurgling sounds, and he could hear his thick pre-cum clogging Suho’s throat. “Yeah, I’m so wet, you feel it?” he whispered, thrusting into Suho’s mouth. “Some guys choke on my big cock, hyung, but not you. You know just what to do, you always treat me right.”
Squirming under him, Suho moaned around his erection. Drool was trickling from the corner of Suho’s mouth, and he liked the look of it so much, he wanted to see more. He pulled out, taking himself in hand, rubbing his leaking cockhead over Suho’s lips, around Suho’s panting mouth, leaving pre-cum smeared over Suho’s chin. Moaning plaintively, Suho clutched at his thighs, trying to drag him back in. “Fuck me, please,” Suho begged, desperate for him. “I want to feel you in my throat.”
God, this hyung. “Yeah, yeah,” Changjo said, sliding back in, rocking a little, making Suho whimper again. “Open up, hyung, there’s a lot, you want to take it all?” One hand braced on the headboard, he rolled his hips, fucking tenderly, thrusting down Suho’s throat. Suho’s fervent suckling tugged on him so urgently, he could practically feel his cum rising up, ready to boil over. “Damn, yeah, like this,” he panted, grinding against Suho’s face. “Suck it, take all of it. You’re gonna make me come like this, you’re getting me off, I’m gonna unload my balls in you.” Moaning enthusiastically, Suho sucked harder and harder, as eager for his climax as he was, probably more. The force of his orgasm hit him hard, and as pleasure overtook him, his balls exploding, he stared down at Suho’s flushed, beautiful face, at Suho’s hungrily working throat. “Drink up my jizz, drink everything,” he panted, ecstasy making his voice shake. “I love watching you swallow all of it.”
Gurgling blissfully, Suho nursed out every drop, lovingly rubbing his ass and milking him dry. When he finally dragged his softening, sensitive cock from Suho’s mouth, Suho only pulled him close, pressing wet, tender kisses to his abs. Catching his breath, he stroked Suho’s hair, wondering what he’d ever done to deserve this, while Suho nuzzled his abs and licked at him like nothing had ever tasted so good. Moaning softly, ecstatically, Suho kissed his navel.
He wanted to marvel over how these sexual changes - - making out with Baekhyun, screwing Chen - - were affecting Suho a lot, but Suho was always like this. This was just how sex with Suho went. Intense, and enthusiastic, and demanding, and so, so incredible. “I came hard,” he said softly, petting Suho’s hair. “You’re always so good to me, hyung, you spoil me too much.” He’d discovered that it was easier for Suho if he phrased it that way, like this amazing, needy sex was something nice Suho was doing for him, like it was a way for Suho to be a good hyung, like it was all a deliberate choice Suho was making. During sex, when he said it, it totally pushed all of Suho’s buttons, and in between the more explicit stuff, it was reassuring, putting Suho more at ease about whatever had just happened.
“Mmm.” Suho stroked his chest, guiding him down. He slid down Suho’s body, and Suho groaned gratefully, squirming against him. Suho was rock-hard and responsive to it, and as soon as they started kissing, he ran his hands over Suho, taking off clothes. Latching onto his mouth, kissing him deeply, pouring love into him, Suho writhed against him. It was hard to get Suho’s clothes off while Suho was trying to wrap around him and cling to him and grind against him, but all of the twisting and humping turned him on, and he had fun, wrestling Suho down. “Changjo-ah,” Suho whispered, begging for more with every touch.
Suho was always so hot for him. Totally lusted after his body. Not just his cock, either, Suho wanted all of him, couldn’t get enough of him. Suho’s desire for him, every fascinated caress, every deep kiss, made him feel wanted, made him feel super sexy. Suho’s hands slid through his hair, stroked over his back, palmed his ass, guided him closer and closer, wouldn’t let him go. When Suho whispered, “I love you,” he felt like he’d already had the words written all over his skin.
“I’ll give you what you need,” he whispered, kissing Suho again. “You don’t have to ask for it, you don’t have to worry about anything. I’ll make sure you have everything you want, okay?”
Suho’s arms tightened around Changjo. “I want too much.” His voice cracked. His whisper was painfully ashamed, and his skin was hot when he hid his face against Changjo’s neck. “I want everything, I want all of it. I want all of you,” he whispered, his hands fanning over Changjo’s sides, rubbing, pulling, trying to coax Changjo impossibly closer. “I don’t know how I’ll live if you aren’t inside me. Deep, deep inside me.”
God, Suho. “But I want to be inside you,” Changjo said softly, rubbing his nose against Suho’s cheek, nuzzling so that Suho would know that he was here, they were together, it was okay. “I’m going to bury my dick in you all night, I’m going to keep you filled up with my cock. You know I can, you know it’ll be good, right?” He kissed Suho again, gently. “I can stay hard all night, you know me. There’s nothing to worry about. Let’s just keep doing what feels good.”
Suho made a soft, hungry noise, kissing him. He didn’t waste time after that, and when he thrust in, Suho wailed, a wild, ecstatic sound that left no doubt about how much Suho wanted this. Cock throbbing, he fucked Suho quickly, thrusting a little too hard, making Suho’s body shake, making sure that Suho felt every inch of him. “I’m deep in you now, you feel that?” he asked, his thrusts rhythmic and aggressive. “You’re full of my cock.”
“S-s-s-so good, oh,” Suho moaned, pulling his knees higher, higher. “Oh, god, please, yes.”
Changjo kept going, giving it to him from every angle, screwing him all over the bed, rolling him over and nailing him from behind until he came in a messy burst, not stopping even then, taking him on a thorough, obscene tour of his sheets. It was an intense workout, but god, it was worth it. Suho loved it, he couldn’t get enough, he writhed all over Changjo’s cock and begged for more. By the time he’d worked himself up enough to get off again, he was moaning, “Please, please, I want to come,” over and over again. Fucking him steadily, Changjo jacked him until the fire hose went off in a spectacular explosion. Cream flew everywhere, and Suho cried out, yelling, “Yes! Yes! Yes, oh, do it to me, don’t stop!” for the whole freaking dorm to hear.
Eventually, Changjo slowed down. Panting, whimpering, covered in jizz, Suho relaxed under him, shuddering, thighs hugging him. “It’s so good,” Changjo said, thrusting tenderly. “I didn’t think that I could last so long, are you impressed?”
Suho laughed weakly, groaning. “Can you, will you… I want to see it.”
“I’ll totally do it,” Changjo promised. “I’ll totally do it however you want it. What are you asking for?”
Whimpering again, Suho squirmed.
Something he wanted to see. “You want to watch me come? Sure,” Changjo said, pulling his cock out. “Can I come on you? Nowhere shocking, not above the neck.”
Groaning, Suho arched, staring at his cock. “It’s so…” He licked his lips.
Changjo grinned, loving it. Suho had just had as much of his cock as anybody could take, and still looked hungry for it. “Don’t look away, it - - oh, ah, ah, here it comes, ah, yeah, just for you.” His body was excited about finally getting to come again, and he got off fast, cursing under his breath. His cum flew out in enthusiastic spurts, arcing upward and splattering all over Suho’s chest. Now their cum was all mingled together, making splashy designs across Suho’s skin, decorating all of that sexy muscle definition. “You know you look amazing like this.”
“Well, don’t look at it,” Suho scolded, pushing his hand away when he tried to touch. He grinned and poked at it anyway, smearing a little. Squirming, making happy, breathless sounds, Suho pulled him down, kissing him again.
Rolling onto his side, he kissed Suho some more. “God, hyung.” He exhaled noisily, stretching. “That was like a marathon.”
Suho reached past him to grab some tissues from the nightstand. “Don’t get full of yourself.”
“Why not?” he asked, watching Suho wipe up. “I did a great job.” His arm snaking around Suho, he darted in, sucking cum off of Suho’s chest. He nibbled a little, and he licked at Suho’s nipple, and Suho laughed, and they cuddled up together.
“How’ve you been?” Suho asked, toying with Changjo’s hair and gazing into his eyes. “Have your hyungs been taking good care of you?”
“No, they’re awful,” he said promptly, hugging Suho close. “You have a fantastic body, you know that, right? I mean, you’re kind of little, but-”
He shut up when Suho socked him in the chest. “Nothing’s little!”
He grinned, pinching Suho’s ass. “Sure, hyung. I understand.”
Suho gave him an exasperated look and went back to petting him. “How are things with L, are you being good to him? Have you looked out for him?”
“He’s the hyung, shouldn’t he be looking out for me? He’s great. He looks like that and he’s totally in love with me, you think I have complaints?” He scowled, toying with Suho’s earlobe. “We never freaking see each other, he’s always touring and filming and going places.”
“You’re always touring and filming and going places, too,” Suho pointed out. “I know it’s hard on you. It’s difficult, when you’re both so busy. But don’t get discouraged. Just see him as much as you can, when you can, and make it count.”
“Is that what you and Sunggyu hyung do?”
“I’m not talking about him, we’re talking about you and L.”
“You always get shy and uptight when it comes to that hyung,” Changjo said. “It’s cute. But okay, we won’t talk about him.” He gave Suho a cute look so that Suho would kiss him again, and once the kiss was over, he asked, “So what else can we talk about? Anything interesting going on, lately? Any news about,” he grinned and zoomed in, nose-to-nose, “Chen hyung, maybe?”
Laughing, Suho pushed him away. “What do you think you’re asking me about?”
“I’m asking you about how you liked screwing Chen hyung,” Changjo said. “So how was it? Were you nervous? Which positions did you try? How much did he love it?”
Suho hesitated. He looked anxiously at the door. He even dragged the sheet up off of the floor and pulled it up over them. Then he frowned at Changjo and said, “I can’t,” and bit his lip. Then he burst into a helpless smile. “It was amazing, though!”
Laughing, Changjo squeezed him. “I told you!”
“It, wow. No wonder everybody likes Chen so much!” He was so happy and so earnest, Changjo had to laugh at him. “No, I mean it! I never felt anything like that before! And he really knows what he’s doing, doesn’t he?”
Suho told Changjo everything, all of it, about what it felt like and what it looked like and how incredible it had been. Changjo laughed at him and congratulated him a lot and prodded him for details. Then they talked about making out on the couch, and about how it had gone with Baekhyun - - and with Lay! - - and what it might be like with the other members. Then they talked about Chen some more, because Suho was really, really excited about it, and Changjo could listen to Suho talk about screwing Chen for hours.
“He’s so sexy,” Suho said, breathing kind of hard. “Have you ever - - do you put him on top, do you do that with him?”
“Sure,” Changjo said, grinning. “Feels great, looks great, why wouldn’t I let him ride my cock from up there?” The words “ride my cock” made Suho blush. “Chen hyung’s the best, he knows what he likes. Confident bottoms who really know what they’re into are super sexy.”
“I think.” Suho nibbled on his lower lip, rubbing his thumb between Changjo’s pecs. “I think that everybody was right, all of this time. I think that I’ve been too slow to catch up.” He met Changjo’s eyes. “This is good for us, for me and my members. It’ll bring us closer. It’s something else that it’ll be good for us to share. I didn’t feel like I was taking advantage, at all. It was good for me, and it made Chen happy.”
“Then you’ll keep doing it?” he asked. “What about the couch, you feel good about that, too?”
“Why does everybody have to watch?” Suho complained, looking annoyed. “I look up and everybody’s standing around, staring at me. Kissing isn’t some kind of spectator sport! I don’t need a spotter!”
Laughing, Changjo squeezed his waist. “It’s okay, hyung, it’s not hurting anything. Let them look, it’s fun.”
“But it’s good for the team, right?” he asked, wrapping Suho up in his arms. “You’ve had all of this time to get used to them making out all over the dorm, they just need to get used to seeing you do it, too. EXO is one, right? Whatever one person does, everyone else is a part of.”
“Not when it comes to kissing!”
“See, this is why no one invites you to orgies,” he said, grinning.
Suho gasped, looking offended. “Not invited!” he exclaimed, indignant. “Since when am I not invited? I don’t go because I don’t want to go! Who said that I wasn’t invited?”
“Sorry, hyung, we just don’t want you there,” he lied.
“I’m always invited! I could go if I wanted!”
He shrugged, pretending not to care. “Well, if you want to come, next time, just let us know, and maybe we’ll let you play, too.”
“Not invited,” Suho grumbled. “I could go any time I wanted. Everybody would be glad to have me there! I’d probably be the most popular one.”
Laughing, Changjo covered his mouth with one hand. “Okay, don’t get too excited about yourself.”
“I’m the one who arranges and schedules it! How am I not invited?”
After a while, they got up and put their clothes back on. Suho tried to walk him to the door, but he veered off. “Maknae,” Suho called after him. “What are you - - why are you like this?”
“Be right there, hyung, one second,” he called back. He peeked into a couple of rooms and found Chen in the kitchen. “Hey, hyungs,” he said to Lay and Kai, and then he kissed Chen.
Chen laughed and kissed him back, hugging him. “What’s this?”
“Nothing.” He kissed Chen again, enjoying it. Humming happily, Chen kept kissing back, starting to take over, hands starting to slide under his shirt.
“What - - maknae!” A hand grabbed the back of his shirt and Suho dragged him back. “Stop that, don’t bother him.”
“I’m not bothered,” Chen said, stealing another kiss, bright-eyed.
“How was it?” Changjo asked as Suho hauled him away. “Just between us! Top five?”
“Don’t ask him about that!” Suho scolded.
Chen laughed happily. “Oh, that? Suho hyung, what did you tell him?!”
“Nothing, there’s nothing,” Suho said hastily.
Changjo grabbed at the doorframe, not ready to go yet. “Top five?” he repeated.
Chen counted on his fingers. “Yeah. Top five!”
“Don’t compare things!” Suho complained, kicking at the backs of Changjo’s legs and prying at his fingers. “You need to leave.”
“I wonder who else is in his top five,” Changjo said, abruptly letting go of the doorframe and heading for the front door. Suho stumbled after him, cursing, thrown off-balance. “He included me in there, right? Probably me. You and me and who else, do you think?”
“Sunggyu hyung,” Suho mumbled, catching up by the door.
He grinned. “Are you answering my question, or do you just say his name to yourself sometimes, for fun? ‘Kim Sunggyu, Kim Sunggyu, Kim Sunggyu.’”
Suho stood up straighter suddenly, red-faced. “I am not L.Joe!”
“Okay, hyung.” He kissed Suho’s cheek and pocketed his phone. “Call me later. Tell me how it goes on the couch! Call L hyung, he likes it when you pay attention to him.” He opened the door, then closed it again, considering. “Seriously, who do you think is in his top five?”
“That’s private! And it’s not right to compare, everyone’s different.”
He’d talk to Chen and figure it all out later. “Congratulations on your new couch,” he said, opening the door again.
“It’s not new,” Suho said.
He grinned, stepping out. “Yeah, but it all of a sudden got a lot more interesting, didn’t it?”
Suho checked on his members. When he got to his room, he was too exhausted to change his sheets. Putting that off, he flopped down on Baekhyun’s bed, instead. He couldn’t just sleep there, he had to get up. Ungh, later.
He was still there, drowsing, when he heard Chanyeol’s voice. “Hyung? Are you asleep?”
“Awake,” he mumbled, rolling off of the bed and onto the floor. Rubbing his eyes open, he blinked blearily at Chanyeol. “What do you need, dongsaeng-ah?”
Oh, right. Yawning, he crawled over to his bed. “Need to change the sheets,” he explained. Grabbing at the bed, he dragged himself up, then collapsed onto it. He was tired, but he couldn’t neglect his dongsaeng. “C’mere,” he mumbled, patting at the mattress. “You’ve been a good dongsaeng, you worked hard today.”
Chanyeol closed the door and came over to the bed. “Are you going to pass out on me?”
So handsome. Suho had such good-looking members, really. “No, I’m awake.” He felt really good. Really sated. Really calm inside. Chanyeol was too far away; he pulled Chanyeol in for a kiss. Pulled Chanyeol onto the bed with him. “What do you want?” he murmured, stroking between Chanyeol’s thighs.
“Oh, god, okay,” Chanyeol said breathlessly.
“That wasn’t an answer,” he chided, tugging down Chanyeol’s shorts. As long as Chanyeol wasn’t being specific, he’d amuse himself with what he wanted. Sliding down the bed, he opened his mouth for Chanyeol’s cock.
“Shit, yeah,” Chanyeol said, moaning. “Yeah, let’s start with this.”
“No, you already had your turn,” Xiumin said, dragging Baekhyun off of the couch.
“But I know how to get it done,” Baekhyun argued as Xiumin dumped him on the floor. “Ow! Don’t you want someone who’s tried and tested?”
“How hard can it be?” Chanyeol asked. “All Lay hyung did was say, ‘Hey, you wanna make out?’ and it happened.”
“No, but it’s the way you say it,” Sehun said. “Don’t get too aggressive about it, you’ll spook him.”
“Whoever’s already had a turn has to get out,” Xiumin said. “It’ll be me and Chen tonight.”
“Wait, why do you just get to decide?” Chanyeol asked.
“Let’s do rock, paper, scissors for it,” D.O. suggested.
“What are we deciding?” Suho asked, sitting on the armrest, right beside Sehun.
Everyone stared at everyone else in panic. “Nothing,” Xiumin said.
“What to watch,” Chanyeol said. “What, uh, what do you want to watch? Anything?” he asked, turning on the TV.
“Oh, nothing’s ever on,” Suho said. “Wait, is that new variety show on tonight? When does that start?”
“Oh, uh, that starts soon, doesn’t it?” Lay asked.
“Yeah, let’s watch that,” Baekhyun said.
“Everybody wants to see it?” Suho asked as the members elbowed each other for space on the couch and crowded onto chairs. “Maybe it’ll be more popular than I thought.”
They waited through the tail end of the previous program, and then the new show started. After the first commercial break, Sehun wrapped an arm around Suho, pulling Suho right down into his lap. Suho leaned against Sehun’s shoulder comfortably and kept watching the show.
Xiumin, seated right beside Sehun, rested his hand on Suho’s thigh.
“We’re not going to have to go on this show, are we?” Sehun asked.
“I hope not,” Suho said, pouting at the TV. “The hosts are so awkward, what are they doing?”
“I feel so bad for the guests,” Chen said. “They have to laugh so much over nothing.”
“Maknae,” Suho said, and then he glanced at Sehun. “Never mind. Kai, go get us something to drink. What do you want, water?” he asked Xiumin.
“Eh, grab me a soda,” Xiumin said.
“I’ll do it,” Chen said, getting up.
“Thanks, hyung,” Kai said.
Xiumin wondered why Chen was being so nice all of a sudden.
Chen came back and passed out drinks. Then he settled himself on the armrest, leaning in familiarly right behind Suho.
Xiumin shot him a warning look.
He smiled at Xiumin and ran his fingers through Suho’s hair, stroking it. “I like your new haircut, hyung.”
“Oh, thanks,” Suho said. “It’s not too short?”
“Mmm, no, it’s nice.”
Suho’s phone rang. “Oh, L-ah,” he said, and answered it. Immediately, Sehun’s arms wrapped more tightly around him, closing him in. “Dongsaeng-ah. Mmm. Mmm.” He tried to get up, and Sehun wouldn’t let him go. Xiumin’s hand stayed on his thigh, pressing him down. “Ah, you must be tired.” He tried to unwind Sehun’s arms from around him, but Sehun didn’t budge. “I - - hold on. Maknae!” he exclaimed, wriggling.
“Where are you trying to go?” Sehun asked.
“I’m trying to be considerate and leave so I’m not talking all over the show. It’s called manners, why don’t you have any?”
“No one cares if you talk, it’s a crappy show, anyway,” Sehun said.
“Yeah, I stopped paying attention like twenty minutes ago,” Kai said, stretched out on the floor with his head in D.O.’s lap.
“Go ahead and talk,” Xiumin agreed, patting his thigh.
“Is L coming over?” Chen asked. “Invite him over.”
“Oh, no,” Suho said. “I think he’s busy.”
Chen grinned. “Don’t you want to see him?”
Suho’s cheeks were turning pink. “Not for a few more days. Not until after, uh, not yet.”
“Invite him over, invite him over,” Chen urged, smiling.
“So disloyal to your own members!” Suho scolded, laughing.
“No, come on,” Chen said. “It’s L!”
“A few more days what?” Chanyeol asked. “After what?”
“What are you talking about?” Baekhyun asked.
“Nothing,” Suho said. He slapped Chen’s thigh. “See what you started!”
Xiumin took the phone from Suho’s hand. “Is Hoya there?”
“Yeah,” L said.
“What are you doing with my hyung?” Chen asked.
“Who is this, what?” Hoya asked.
“Chen wants to talk to you,” Xiumin said, and thrust the phone at Chen.
“What?” Chen asked, laughing. “Hi, hyung.” He smiled happily, laughed again, and rubbed the side of his neck, blushing. In seconds, he was sliding off of the armrest and walking away.
One down, seven to go.
“That’s my phone,” Suho said helplessly.
“I hate this show,” D.O. said.
“We’re probably going to have to go on it next week,” Baekhyun said.
“Isn’t it over yet?” Suho asked. “Turn it off, I can’t take it anymore.” He slumped against Sehun’s shoulder.
Xiumin curled up against Sehun’s other shoulder, smiling at Suho, blinking innocently.
Suho laughed softly, looking pleased.
Xiumin walked his fingers up Suho’s leg, giving a little eyebrow. “You know…”
Suho blushed. “Why can’t a couch just be a couch sometimes? Don’t you all ever just sit here?”
“Sure,” Xiumin said, and grinned, his hand settling firmly on Suho’s thigh. “Just tell me no.”
Suho’s lips parted, and he stared at Xiumin, breathing shakily. Then, “Kids, go to your rooms.” He slid right off of Sehun, right onto Xiumin. Catching him, Xiumin leaned back, across Chanyeol’s lap. His kisses were uncertain at first, too desperate, and Xiumin’s hand ran down his back, fingertips digging in. He moaned, “Oh, hyung,” and relaxed right into it, trusting as soon as Xiumin took charge.
Behind Suho’s back, Xiumin waved the other members away. Then he hooked his leg over Suho’s, tethering Suho to himself. Suho’s deep, loving kisses made him want to settle in and enjoy this, made him want to keep it going all night.
“Mmm, hyung,” Suho panted, kissing him, and he cupped Suho’s ass, giving it a light squeeze. Moaning, Suho kissed him harder, grinding against him.
The friction of Suho’s cock against his made him groan. The sinuous, insistent movements of Suho’s hips were sending him intense, irresistible signals. But if he followed through on that, he might spook Suho and ruin couch time forever. The problem was, Suho was completely incapable of ignoring a hard cock, so as long as Xiumin was turned on, Suho was going to be preoccupied with wanting it.
He had to get control here. Sliding his hand up Suho’s nape, he took a firm grip, his fingers threaded through Suho’s hair. Then he twisted his body, pushing up, tipping them in the opposite direction, down across Sehun’s lap. Firmly on top, he settled in, pulling Suho’s leg around his waist.
“Ooohhh, hmm…” Suho squirmed under him, arms wrapping around him. He pushed Suho’s shirt up a little, and Suho moaned again, kissing him lovingly and stroking his back.
“My pretty Suho-ah,” Xiumin whispered, kissing him lightly, tenderly, plucking up soft kisses from his parted lips.
“Ooohh, hyung,” Suho breathed, hands sliding over his neck and pulling him down for a long, hungry kiss. God, that did it for him, every time. He loved how much Suho wanted him, it was incredible.
They made out for so long that the desire pulsing between his legs turned into a deep, throbbing ache. His cock was so hard that his pants felt painfully tight, and he was grinding against Suho urgently, needing relief. Suho’s lust for him, Suho’s love for him, were like bottomless wells, and no matter how much he took, Suho gave him more, more, kissing him devotedly, suffusing him with pleasure.
He had to do something, he had to come. He didn’t want to get off in his pants like a kid, but he couldn’t take this anymore, Suho was too much for him. Whose night was it, anyway? He glanced over; D.O. was still seated on the floor, staring intently.
Running his thumb around the shell of Suho’s ear, he whispered, too softly for even Sehun to hear, “Be good for me, kitten, hyung needs to get off. Then you can take D.O. to your room, okay?”
Suho shuddered under him, hands dragging hungrily over his body under his shirt. “Please, hyung,” Suho breathed, mouth claiming his in another kiss. He groaned, a frisson of heat burning through him as Suho’s need for him overtook him again. Grinding his cock insistently against Suho, rocking rhythmically, he took what he needed, not holding back anymore. Suho’s moans got louder, louder, more ecstatic, as he thrust against Suho’s shuddering body.
“Yeah, uh,” he grunted, humping Suho right there on the couch, right in front of everyone. With needy, blissful moans, Suho stroked his nipples, leg tightening around him, demanding more. His pleasure hit its peak, release finally granted to him, and he moaned, clutching at Suho’s hip as he spurted in his pants. God, “Oh, unh.”
“Did you come?” Suho whispered, kissing him, thumb rubbing and flicking at his nipple, tongue stroking over his lips. “Did you come?”
“I, oh, I gotta.” He shook his head, recovering, and then he kissed Suho again. “Yeah, yeah, I did.” But Suho hadn’t. It would be brutally cruel to leave Suho needing it like this, but he couldn’t just get Suho off right there on the couch. Technically, he could; he was pretty sure that he could make it happen. But Suho would be ashamed, afterward, and he’d never forgive himself if he pushed Suho that far. “You should go to bed,” he whispered, kissing Suho lightly, brushing his thumb over Suho’s cheekbone. “It’s late, kitten, you should go get some rest.”
Suho pressed his lips together, blushing, his gaze scanning Xiumin’s face. Looking embarrassed but understanding, he nodded.
Xiumin kissed him again. “Good night.”
As Xiumin crawled off of him, Suho got up. Looking more and more embarrassed, more awkward, he fixed his hair, tugged at his clothes, tried to yank his shirt down over his bulging hard-on. “What are you all doing, I’m not the new variety show, you don’t all have to watch! Have you been here this whole time?” he demanded, like it was just dawning on him. “I told you to go!”
“Hey, don’t look at me,” Sehun said.
“Switch?” D.O. asked Kai. “You tonight, I’ll take tomorrow?”
“Hey, yeah,” Kai said, immediately accepting. “Yeah, deal. Okay, hyung?” he asked Suho, getting up from the floor.
“That’s up to you, I don’t decide those things,” Suho said. “Xiumin hyung’s right, we should all be going to bed, I don’t want you all staying up all night.” He started off for his room. “Kai, could you get my phone from Chen?”
“Sure, hyung.” Grinning, Kai jogged away.
Slumping back on the couch, Xiumin exhaled. “Good move,” he told D.O.
“I think he’ll be a lot happier with Kai tonight than he would be with me,” D.O. said.
“How was it?” Lay asked, kneeling between Xiumin’s feet and already reaching for his fly. “Can I see your fresh load?”
“I can’t believe you got off!” Chanyeol exclaimed.
“I can’t believe I didn’t,” Sehun said. “Shit, why did you do that right on top of me? Were you trying to kill me?”
“You’re welcome,” Xiumin told him.
“Oh, yeah, that’s a good, juicy one,” Lay said approvingly, easing down Xiumin’s underwear.
“God, that was amazing,” Baekhyun said. “Did I really just see that? Did you see what I saw? Suho hyung was - - and - - and then he - - and he was - - you all saw that, right?”
“Can we talk about it?” Chen asked. “I want to talk about it!”
“What were you whispering to him?” Sehun asked.
“Nothing.” Xiumin had to keep a few things private. “How is it?” he asked, draping his leg over Lay’s shoulder as Lay started sucking on his underwear.
“Delicious,” Lay breathed, going back for more.
The members spent all day pulling each other aside for hushed conversations and speculation. The fact that Suho had made out on the couch three nights in a row had the whole team spinning. Everyone wanted to be next, and everyone wanted to see more, and everyone wanted to get a shot while it lasted. They were giddy with excitement over this new trend, and they were worried that it would come to an abrupt end.
D.O. listened while every one of the members argued, “No, no, I should be next.” They all seemed convinced that all of the other members would mess things up and spook Suho and ruin everything, and that they, alone, had the secret ability to keep the trend going for one more night. D.O. didn’t think that anyone had some perfect handle on the situation, because there was no definite pattern. All three nights had been different, so far, because Baekhyun and Lay and Xiumin were different people. But Suho was used to them as members and used to whatever happened with them behind closed doors, and Suho wasn’t going to be spooked by, for example, Kai’s assertiveness, because he was used to Kai. He knew Kai, and how Kai behaved, and Kai’s approach to sex. Being right out in the open on the couch was the new thing Suho was getting used to, not interacting with the members. Seeing him kiss Kai would be new to them, but actually kissing Kai wasn’t the part that was new to Suho at all.
D.O. tried to explain that to them, but only about half of them really got it.
Sehun asked, “Do you want to do a lot with Suho hyung, tonight?”
He stared Sehun down. “Why?”
“If you only want to kiss him, you could do that on the couch. And then it could be my night, to, you know, finish things for him.”
“And then tomorrow’s my night?” Xiumin asked. “Yes, deal, let’s do it.”
D.O. didn’t appreciate being rushed into the decision. But Sehun’s idea wasn’t bad. “Okay. If he wants to. I’ll do it.”
“We can’t just decide who his couch partner is for him,” Kai said.
“No,” D.O. said. “But we can always recommend somebody.”
Suho couldn’t wait to get back to the dorm and get back to the couch. He wanted to dive right onto it. It was like some explosive new addiction. Changjo had been right; the same old couch really was way more interesting all of a sudden! It was on his mind all day, an itch he couldn’t wait to scratch.
The pleasure he’d found there. The erotic torment. Kissing his members. His sexy, experienced members. Not being able to go too far made it safer but also hotter. It churned up all kinds of need in him, all kinds of urges. Afterwards, when he got to his room, when he finally got what he needed, it was explosive. Like the slow, intense build-up on the couch made the final show in the bedroom all the more intense.
He was really glad that he’d had Kai last night, and not D.O. He wasn’t proud of himself for that thought, but after what Xiumin had started with him, he wouldn’t have been able to hold back with D.O. It would’ve been hell, trying to contain the fire that Xiumin had lit.
When work was over and they finally made it back to the dorm, he quickly did everything he had to get done, rushing through his to-do list, reading paperwork, making phone calls. As soon as that was behind him, he rushed over to the couch.
D.O. was there. No one else.
Oh. Deflated, he sat down. Annoyed with himself, he scolded himself for making so much of nothing. His members made out on the couch all of the time. To them, this was meaningless, something they took for granted, something they didn’t even think about. It had been novel to them the first couple of times, but now they didn’t care anymore, and why should they?
He felt rejected. He wanted to sulk and complain about it. What were they all so busy doing, anyway, that they couldn’t hang out on the couch? Why were their bedrooms so interesting, all of a sudden? They’d gone from whining about only getting to see him every eight days to taking him for granted awfully fast!
Key called him. He flopped around on the couch and talked to Key. He texted Sunggyu. D.O. leaned against him. He wondered if he should just go to sleep early. He caressed D.O.’s hair. Why was the dorm so quiet tonight, anyway? Nobody was doing anything. Were his members becoming boring? He texted Chunji. Chunji texted back a selca that made him want to go to his room for some alone time.
Realizing that he and D.O. hadn’t said one word to each other, he wondered if he was being a neglectful hyung. “Everything’s okay?”
Still slouched against his side, D.O. nodded.
“Your throat’s all right? You’ve been busy, lately.”
He put his arm around D.O., resting his cheek on the top of D.O.’s head. “You’ve always worked hard. I’m grateful.”
“Oh my god!” Baekhyun shouted from another room. “Do something!”
“Shut up!” D.O. shouted back.
“Be more respectful to your hyungs,” Suho chided.
D.O. gave him a doubtful look. “Even that one?”
Laughing, he smoothed D.O.’s hair. “Yes, even that one.”
D.O. shrugged. They sat together like that for another moment. It was nice. The members were arguing in another room, but they weren’t loud enough for Suho to care yet. Then D.O. raised his head and kissed Suho’s cheek.
It was such a sweet, unexpected thing that Suho turned his head, surprised. D.O.’s hand slid over the side of his neck, guiding him in, and D.O. kissed him again. He kissed back automatically for a second, trying to figure this out, and then habit took over, his eyes closing. Desire welled up in him, pleasure simmering in his veins, and he kissed back more seriously, slipping his tongue into D.O.’s mouth.
“Oh! Oh! It’s starting,” Sehun said.
Flustered, Suho lifted his head. “What-”
“Ignore them,” D.O. said, pulling him back in.
It was such a deceptively simple thing, kissing on the couch. With D.O., that was all it was. There was none of Baekhyun’s crackling sexual energy, none of Lay’s matter-of-fact raunchy encouragement, none of Xiumin’s Xiumin-ness. It was just simple kissing, simple pleasure. Warm, sensual intimacy. There was a slowness to it, a steadiness to it, that kept the wildfire in check.
Suho was more in control of himself with D.O. than he was with anyone else, more in control with D.O. than he was capable of being with anyone else, because D.O. needed him to be. The desire building hotly inside of him was a private thing, something he kept locked in, while he seduced D.O. with slow kisses and ran his hands lightly over D.O.’s sides.
When D.O. pulled away, he let go. “You can take him,” D.O. said to someone else.
A hand reached down to Suho, and he looked up to see Sehun. The rest of the members were hanging back, watching, and Sehun was smiling at him invitingly. “Bedtime?” Sehun suggested.
With - - wait. Wasn’t it D.O.’s night? Was it Sehun’s night? Wait, he’d thought - - was he going to have an outlet for his need? He was stunned, his thoughts reordering themselves, but his body was on all systems go. All of the desires that D.O. had awakened, all of the need he’d been tamping down, roared to life. That inner, sexual momentum propelled him forward, and he grabbed Sehun’s hand, surging to his feet. “Yeah, okay,” he said too quickly, too agreeably. Xiumin snickered, and he blushed, ignoring that, starting off for his room. “Night!” he called, dragging Sehun along.
“Night, hyung,” Chanyeol called, and he heard his members high-fiving behind him.
The other members had filmings and photo shoots, but Chen had a few hours to himself. So he got his manager to drop him off at Infinite’s dorm.
He didn’t waste any time dragging Hoya straight to bed. Woohyun came in and fucked him, and god, he’d needed that. Sungyeol tried to come in, but Hoya locked everyone out, and the two of them settled in together, snuggling and talking, making out and going down on each other.
He really wished that he could tell Hoya about having had sex with Suho. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say about it, exactly. He just wanted to be able to talk to someone, to share. It had been such a great experience, sexually and in other ways, that he wanted to tell someone about it. He loved confiding in Hoya, he could tell this hyung anything.
He considered trying to talk about it in code, but how hard would it be to crack the code? Hoya knew everything about him; Hoya would know what he meant right away. And he didn’t want to use some cheap technicality to breach Suho’s privacy.
But even if Hoya couldn’t know anything, weren’t there people who knew all about it already? Suho had told Changjo, that was definite. If Changjo knew, what about L? What about Sunggyu?
“Are all of your members here?” he asked Hoya, pushing himself up on one elbow.
“You came here to see Sunggyu hyung, didn’t you?” Hoya asked.
“Yes,” he lied, laughing. “Is he here? And what about L, is he here?”
Hoya rolled over, grabbing his phone. Resting his head on Chen’s stomach, he dialed. Smiling, Chen caressed his eyebrows. “Hey,” he said. “Are you in the dorm? Where, in your room? Ah. What about L, is he around? Oh. Okay. Mmm.” He hung up, tossing his phone aside. “They’re in Grandpa’s room.”
Great, then Chen could - - oh. “Do they need privacy?”
“Mmm, from the sound of it, yeah. Give them ten minutes.” Hoya rolled over, coiling an arm around Chen. “What do you want them for?”
“I just want to ask something about Suho hyung.”
He ran his fingertips over the lines of Hoya’s pelvis, amazed by this hyung’s tight, toned body. “If they’re doing something they need time to finish, why did Sunggyu hyung answer the phone?”
“He’s a good leader who’s always there when his members call?” Hoya guessed. He squinted, then shook his head. “No, that can’t be it.”
The two of them pulled some clothes on and went to the kitchen. Dongwoo came in to talk to Hoya, and Chen slipped out, going down the hallway. Not hearing any sounds coming from Sunggyu’s room, he knocked.
L opened the door, gave him a brief, polite smile, and moved past him down the hallway.
“Don’t just - - at least hand me my pants before you go, what is this?” Sunggyu called after him.
Smiling, Chen picked up a pair of underwear from the floor and held it out.
Giving him a narrow look, Sunggyu snatched the underwear from him. “What do you want?”
“It’s a little awkward,” he admitted, taking a seat on Sunggyu’s desk chair. “Have you talked to Suho hyung? About anything new?”
Sunggyu wriggled around under the covers, being very careful not to let Chen see a thing while he put his panties on, like Chen hadn’t seen everything up close before. “We’ve talked. What do you want to know about?”
“He’s confided in you, hasn’t he? About some private things?”
“You know the rules, what’s private is private.” Sunggyu shoved the covers aside, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Swiping up a shirt from the floor, he pulled it on, then pawed through his hair, trying to flatten it.
“If he told you anything that you can’t talk about, I won’t ask you about it. But maybe he mentioned something about me? A private thing about him and me that happened a few days ago? Something I can’t talk about, that you can’t talk about, either, but if we could talk about it, I’d want to tell you how great it was?”
Sunggyu nodded solemnly a few times, then smiled at him happily. “Was it great? I knew he could do it. He’s good at everything he tries, it’s a little bit annoying. Did you have fun? He took good care of you?” Concern drew Sunggyu’s eyebrows together. “It wasn’t too much for him?”
“It was the best!” In a rush of enthusiasm, Chen wanted to tell Sunggyu everything. There was finally someone he could talk to! “He was really into it, it was so hot. I came so hard, you don’t even know.”
Getting up, Sunggyu smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “I knew that you’d be good to Money. It’ll be better once he gets used to it, experience always helps.”
Chen laughed at that. “I’ll give him as much experience as he wants!”
“We shouldn’t talk about it,” Sunggyu decided. “But I’m glad that you liked it. It’s a good thing between members. You have needs, and it’s your leader’s job to make sure that you have what you need. Make sure he doesn’t try to get out of it from now on. Just tell him, ‘Hyung, it’s time, we’re doing this now.’ He doesn’t let you starve, he makes sure that you get some sleep, he has to give you this, too.”
“Is that what your members say to you?” Chen teased. “‘Hyung, it’s time, we’re doing this now?’”
“My members say all sorts of nonsense,” Sunggyu said. “I don’t listen.”
Even if they hadn’t been able to go into detail, it was still great to have been able to tell someone that Suho had fucked him, that he’d loved it, that he wanted to do it again. Soon Baekhyun would know all about it, too, and then the other members! They’d at least be able to whisper to each other, and share looks, and be part of a secret club together. And if he wanted to talk about it, he knew that Suho did, too, so he was glad that Suho could confide in Sunggyu and talk to Changjo. He hoped that Suho had told them good things about him!
Happy, relieved, Chen went back to the kitchen.
L was in there with Hoya. They were standing really close together; L kind of had Hoya backed against the counter, a hand on Hoya’s hip, fingers tucked in the waistband of Hoya’s boxer-briefs. L’s knee was bent, his thigh nudging Hoya’s, and he was saying something too soft for Chen to hear.
Licking his lips, Hoya was nodding, his gaze flicking down to L’s mouth. “Yeah.” There was a thickening bulge in his underwear, just enough of a tent to make Chen’s mouth water. Noticing Chen over L’s shoulder, he straightened, starting to push away from the counter.
L’s hand slid over his stomach, pressing him back, keeping him in place. L cast a brief glance back in Chen’s direction, and then smiled at Hoya. It was a seductive, heart-stopping smile, and for just a second, Chen fell in love. L murmured something low, gazing right into Hoya’s eyes, and there was so much sex and romance in the air that Chen wanted to back out and leave them alone for it.
Blushing, Hoya nodded. “Yeah, later.”
Fingers slipping along the waistband of his underwear, L whispered something else, then stepped away, hand dropping. Murmuring, “Hey,” to Chen in passing, L left.
Shifting his weight, Hoya coughed. Avoiding Chen’s eyes, he tugged his shirt down, covering himself. It was really cute and a turn-on to see him so embarrassed. “Talked to Sunggyu hyung?” he finally asked.
“Yeah. Is that what it’s like, living with L?” Chen asked, curious. He took a couple of chips from the bag open behind Hoya on the counter. “He just goes around seducing you whenever he wants?”
“Sometimes. Depends on his mood.”
Whatever L had just been doing to Hoya had been a lot sexier than when Chanyeol flopped into the kitchen and asked, “Hey, how about it? I’m horny, you want to?” There was a lot more romance in Infinite’s dorm than Chen got from his members. Although there were probably exceptions. “Is Dongwoo hyung romantic with you?”
“There’s no porn couple,” Hoya said immediately. “It’s not a thing.”
Laughing, Chen rubbed his arm. “I didn’t mean that! I’m just asking-”
“Not talking about it,” Hoya said.
“Or maybe you’re romantic with him,” Chen teased.
Hoya blushed. Clearing his throat, he turned away, opening the fridge. “Want anything else to eat?”
Sehun had been last night. Now the cycle started over again. Xiumin. Lay. Baekhyun.
Suho’s chance with Baekhyun was only three days away. It seemed like the shortest time ever. It seemed like it would last for ages. Three days!
Being around Baekhyun all day made him a little bit frantic. He was fascinated by Baekhyun’s movements and mannerisms. Whatever else was going on, the happy sound of Baekhyun’s laughter made him turn toward Baekhyun, his heart lifting in his chest. The smooth line of Baekhyun’s neck haunted him, and he invented reasons to touch, acting like he was brushing lint away, pretending that he’d seen a stray hair fall on Baekhyun’s collar. When Baekhyun reached past him, intending to pick up something, he grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and then couldn’t explain why he’d done it. He felt like he had a crush on his own dongsaeng; he felt like he was desperately in love with someone who didn’t know anything about his feelings.
He wished that he had a long, busy day, that he had a million extra errands to run, that he could avoid the dorm. But practice ended early, and then a meeting was canceled, and he ended up at the dorm hours before he’d wanted to be there.
He wanted to hide in his room, but it was Baekhyun’s room, too. He went to Chanyeol’s room, closed the door, and called Chen.
“I need to do the thing, but I can’t. I have to wait three days to do it again, how am I supposed to wait that long?”
Chen laughed at him. “Are you talking about that thing?”
“Yes! You know what I’m talking about, don’t play around with me right now. What am I supposed to do? I can’t wait three days. I’m going to end up doing something I’ll regret.”
“Maybe you could just do it with Xiumin hyung and not wait.”
“I need more practice first, I can’t just approach Xiumin hyung like this, I have to get more experience under my belt.”
“Xiumin hyung and Baekhyun could switch nights. I think it would be okay, just once.”
“No! I can’t mess around with that, I don’t arrange those things.”
“What do you want me to say when you disagree with all of my suggestions? What else do you want me to come up with?”
“Where are you? You’re not coming home soon, are you? I don’t want to see you.”
“What,” Chanyeol said, opening the door.
He pushed the door shut in Chanyeol’s face and leaned against it.
“I’m at Infinite’s dorm. Do you want to come over? L would solve your problem for you, I think.”
He groaned, rubbing at his face. He was supposed to wait for Baekhyun. He couldn’t remember why that was so important, but it was a decision he’d made while he was sober. He needed to stick with it. If he started making new decisions while he was in this mindset, who knew what he’d do?
He’d go out and screw Baekhyun on the couch, was what he’d do.
“Maybe I should get a hotel,” he said, despairing. “Don’t come home tonight, okay? Stay with Hoya.”
Chen’s laughter was delighted. “What are you saying to me? Is it dangerous to come home? When you talk like this, it makes me want to go to the dorm right now.”
“Stay there!” he insisted. “I don’t want to see you until tomorrow.” Hanging up, he scratched through his hair. What was he going to do? He had to get away. Or send his members away! He’d send them all to Infinite’s dorm. He wished that he could see Sunggyu tonight, but Sunggyu had a variety filming. But if he got permission, he could ship all of his members away, send them to Infinite’s dorm, to Teen Top’s dorm, to Shinee’s dorm, anywhere, was Donghae busy? Donghae would love to have his members visit.
There was a knock at the door. “Hyung?” Chanyeol asked.
Opening the door, he kept a wary eye out for Baekhyun. Maybe he should just go directly to bed. It was hours early, but he could say that he was tired. He needed rest, right?
“What were you doing?” Chanyeol asked, peering past him and looking into the room.
“Nothing,” he said. “Aren’t you in my room all of the time? I can be in yours.”
“Hyung,” Sehun said, jogging up, looking flushed and determined. “Hyung, can I go to Teen Top’s dorm? Chunji hyung said that I can go. Can you take me?”
Yes. Yes, that would get him out of the dorm. And Changjo was busy, Changjo wouldn’t be there to tempt him. He could get away from Baekhyun and avoid Chen and not even have to deny himself Changjo. “Yes, let’s go,” he said. “Tell Xiumin hyung that he’s in charge, I’ll change and meet you at the door. Don’t take too long, it’s rude to keep L.Joe waiting.”
Sehun looked stunned for a second, then said, “Thanks,” and ran away.
“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked, but Suho was already walking away.
He managed to get out of the dorm without even seeing Baekhyun. In the van, he collapsed in his seat. He was relieved. He’d be away from the dorm for hours, he’d let Sehun and L.Joe take as long as they liked, and then he could just go home and go straight to bed. With Xiumin, if he was lucky. And maybe sex with Xiumin would help him get his equilibrium back, would help reconnect whatever wiring was loose, so tomorrow would be better. He couldn’t stay like this, he had to get a grip.
Sehun had to stop by a bakery to grab a gift for Chunji and C.A.P. Somehow he’d gotten it into his head that he needed to bribe them and flatter them, but Suho didn’t discourage it. It was nice to see him treating his hyungs well.
On the way, Suho texted Changjo to make sure that Changjo was busy and away from the dorm. He didn’t get an answer; he took that as a good sign.
At Teen Top’s dorm, L.Joe opened the door. He gazed up at Sehun with a shy, joyful smile, and the two of them just stood there for a year, looking at each other. “Hi,” Suho finally said.
“Hi,” L.Joe breathed, staring up at Sehun.
“Maknae,” Suho scolded, slapping him on the ass.
“Sunbae,” Sehun said suddenly, in motion again.
“Is that for Chunji?” L.Joe asked, letting them in. “Chunji! Ya! They’re here!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Chunji called.
“Um,” L.Joe said, reaching for Sehun and then pulling his hand back, shyly curling his fingers in. “Do you want to?”
“Yeah, let’s talk in your room,” Sehun said. He set the bag down, and the two of them disappeared into L.Joe’s room.
With the click of the closing door, Suho relaxed. He opened the bag to see what Sehun had bought; it smelled delicious. Mini doughnuts! Very virtuously not sneaking one, he sat down on the couch. He’d spent so much time here, waiting for Sehun, it was a comfortable place for him. He relaxed, leaning back. Moving a bottle of lube out of his way, he checked his phone. Turned on the TV.
“Oh, hey, hyung.”
Suho looked up, and time shifted. Chunji was walking towards him, but everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. He blinked, feeling like he was under some new enchantment. Or like some old enchantment had finally fully taken hold.
Chunji brushed his bangs out of his eyes, a slow, graceful move, so chic that Suho wanted to rewind him and see it again. He smiled at Suho, a simple, warm smile, and the welcoming affection in his eyes grabbed hold of Suho’s heart.
He stared at Chunji’s relaxed posture and confident stride. Broad shoulders, lean hips, how had he never fully appreciated how appealing Chunji’s build was, before?
“What’s this?” Chunji stopped by the bag on the table, opening it. “Nice.” He took one out, then picked up the bag. Then he sat right beside Suho on the couch, one leg tucked under himself, and held the doughnut out. “Want one?”
His eyes were beautiful. Everything was still happening in slow motion, and when he blinked, the slow sweep of his long, black lashes was mesmerizing. Suho leaned towards him, captivated. His enchanting smile. His frank question. Everything about him made Suho’s heart race.
Laughing, he leaned back. “Yes or no?” Setting the bag aside, he took a bite. He had on an open flannel shirt over shorts and a tank top, and the shirt had slipped off of one shoulder. His smooth, pale skin was enticing, and Suho licked his lips.
Catching Suho staring, he glanced at his shoulder, then pulled his shirt up. “You okay?”
Suho didn’t know how to answer. No, no, he wasn’t okay at all. He was losing his battle for self-control. “I should go.”
Another gorgeous sweep of lashes; Chunji’s gaze flitted over Suho. “Yeah, sure.” Finishing the doughnut with another bite, Chunji shrugged out of his flannel shirt, pulling it off. His smooth, bare arms evoked memories of Suho’s bedroom, Suho’s bed, the two of them twined naked together, skin against skin. “You got somewhere important to be?”
“Um, I have other appointments. Things to do,” Suho said vaguely. How long had it been since the last time he and Chunji had kissed? It seemed like forever ago. It seemed like an impossible thing; it didn’t seem real that he’d ever made out, had sex, with someone so beautiful, so dangerous.
“You’ll have plenty of time for it,” Chunji said. “They won’t be out of that room for a while, and they’re way too interested in each other to care about what happens out here.” Putting a hand on his shoulder, Chunji climbed right into his lap, settling astride him like he’d asked for it.
His heart pounding, he groaned, seizing Chunji’s hips and dragging Chunji against himself.
“Ooohh.” With an intrigued, aroused sound, Chunji shifted, grinding against him. The pressure and movement made him groan, and he grabbed Chunji’s ass, urging Chunji closer, needing that to keep happening. Chunji swayed towards him, and he tilted his face up, moaning again. Their mouths met, and he thrust his tongue into Chunji’s mouth, clutching Chunji to himself.
“Still want to get away?” Chunji whispered, nipping at his lower lip.
“No, no,” he breathed. He wouldn’t rather be anywhere else in the world. It didn’t matter how deeply, how passionately he kissed, Chunji was right there with him, kissing him back, cupping his face, making encouraging noises, ready for more. Chunji moved against him rhythmically, and those rocking, rolling hips were going to be the death of him. His cock throbbed so angrily, and Chunji was so hard against him, he was sure that they were about to come like this, about to burst at any second.
“I don’t give head,” Chunji panted, grinding against him, kisses soft and demanding. “And you’d better get me off. So what do you want, what are we doing here?”
He’d barely been able to hold back, had been clinging to a flimsy thread of self-control. Now that Chunji had given him a hint of an excuse, he grabbed at it. His hands were on Chunji’s fly before he could stop himself, unbuttoning, unzipping. “Take, can you take this off?” he asked, trying to tug Chunji’s shorts down.
Chunji hopped up, stripping, and when he sat down again, he was naked. Suho pulled him close, hands hungry for his smooth skin. His proudly jutting erection and its nest of black curls were beautiful, as irresistible as the rest of him, and Suho couldn’t hold him close enough.
As they traded urgent, heated kisses, Suho undid his own fly. As soon as his erection was out, Chunji moved against it, groaning. The sweet slide of Chunji’s hot, hard cock against his own shredded the last hope Suho had of self-restraint, and he snatched up the lube. “Can I do this?” he asked, lust making his voice shake.
Chunji glanced from the lube to his face. “I thought you didn’t do that.” Chunji’s smile was beautiful and devilish. “Have you been rocking Chen hyung’s world?”
“Never mind about that,” he said, slicking up his fingers, the need burning through him making him rush. “I need this, is it okay?”
“God, yeah, go for it. I’d love for you to nail my ass.”
When Suho’s finger slid inside him, the way Chunji moved, undulating, hips rolling, back arching, made everything, everything worth it. Suho would never, ever regret this moment, not for an instant. Writhing, Chunji fondled himself, moaning, and Suho held him close, greedily kissed his chest, caressed him from the inside. Stroking his hot, snug tunnel, Suho groaned, licking his pert, pink nipple, needing to fuck him, needing to thrust inside of him. Suho hadn’t done this enough times to know how much stretching he needed, but when he moaned and squeezed Suho’s shoulder and said, “Nnn, get it in me, bury that big dick in me, come on,” Suho took him at his word.
“This, like this,” Suho panted, trying to pull Chunji down onto his cock. It was such a tense, desperate moment, his sexual excitement made everything seem monumentally significant. The red, blunt head of Chunji’s erection, the sinuous roll of Chunji’s hips, the sound of his own agitated breathing, the splay of Chunji’s bare thighs, it was all seared into his memory. He gripped the base of his own cock, trying to shove it in, and Chunji said, “Yeah, put that hard dick in me,” and he wanted it so badly, he couldn’t make it happen fast enough.
Then he felt hot tightness grasping at the head of his erection. He groaned, stunned, disbelieving, and then that snug heat was swallowing him up. Moaning, “Yeah, unnnhh, fuck,” Chunji slid onto him, easing down his shaft, lowering onto his lap. Oh, god, it was happening, this was all really happening.
“Chunji,” he gasped, and Chunji shifted on him, sending him that much deeper. The demanding ache of his cock made him groan, and he rubbed Chunji’s sides, his hands moving busily over Chunji’s ass and thighs, needing more.
Breathing through parted lips, Chunji shifted again, again. When he realized that a rhythm was starting, he groaned, grateful, eager for it. The hungry grip of Chunji’s ass as Chunji slid on his cock was everything he’d wanted, everything he’d been craving, and in his enthusiasm, his moans grew louder and louder, keeping pace with the pleasure wracking his body.
“That’s it, fuck, fill my ass,” Chunji panted, rocking on him. “Spread me open on your hard cock, fill me up.”
“Chunji-ah, ooohhh, please.” He kept trying to pull Chunji down against him, kept trying to control Chunji’s movements. He understood that Chunji’s rocking, bouncing rhythm was what had him feeling so good, was what was sending his pleasure through the roof, but he kept feeling like he needed to bury his cock as deep as it could go, like he needed to live balls-deep inside Chunji with not a breath separating their bodies.
“Fuck, you need this, oohhh-hhh, you want it.”
“I do, I do, god, please!” When Chunji shoved him back, pinning him against the back of the sofa, he went where Chunji wanted him, but he clutched at Chunji anyway, trying to drag Chunji closer, lifting his head and burying his face against Chunji’s chest. Chunji’s hot, smooth skin was addictive, and he kissed as much of it as he could reach. Chunji’s quick, demanding rhythm had him crying out, shouting desperately, blissfully, with every plunge of Chunji’s hips.
“Come in me, blow your load, fill my ass with your cream.” Chunji was masturbating, his hand pumping fast over his erection, and the shiny, thick head of his cock was mesmerizing. He was obscenely beautiful, gorgeously erotic, as he pleasured himself, pleasured Suho, singlehandedly drove them both toward climax. “Get off in my ass, do it.”
“I am, I am,” he cried, eager to do whatever Chunji wanted, powerless to help it. The uncontrollable need that had propelled him to this moment turned into uncontrollable ecstasy, and as erotic rapture overtook him, he stared upward. “Chunji-ah! Chunji-ah!” He was coming, giving in to Chunji’s demands, spurting heavily.
Still rocking on Suho, hips rolling steadily, Chunji groaned, tugging on his cock. His eyes closed, his head tipping back, his lips parting as he undulated. “Fuck, yes, yes, flood my ass.” A tremor went through him, and Suho’s hands stroked up his ribcage, coaxing him closer. He shuddered again, groaning, and then he was coming, white ropes of cum spritzing them both. “Fuck, ah, oooohhh.”
Gathering him close, Suho luxuriated in the weight of his body, in his satiny skin. “God, I love you,” Suho whispered, kissing his upper arm.
A soft chuckle. Chunji kissed his cheek, then smiled at him. That happy, teasing, affectionate smile, the warmth sparkling in Chunji’s eyes, he was incomparably beautiful. “Did you do it backwards? You should tell me you love me first, so I’ll give it up faster.”
“That’s terrible,” Suho scolded him.
Smiling, he leaned close, and he was irresistible; Suho kissed him. They relaxed together like that for a while, just kissing, Chunji getting comfortable on Suho’s lap, Suho caressing him everywhere and telling him over and over again how pretty, how handsome, how sexy he was.
“Mmm, this is nice.” Chunji curled an arm around his shoulders, relaxing against him, so satisfied and boneless that he felt sated. “We should do this more often.”
“I think so, too,” Suho admitted, stroking him.
They were still kissing when a phone rang. Staying on his lap, Chunji reached over and picked it up, then answered. “What do you want?” Belatedly, Suho realized that was his phone. Startled, he reached for it, but Chunji leaned back, not letting him have it. “Yes, it’s me, who else do you think it is? Yeah, they’re still here. Mmm.” Chunji hung up, tossing the phone onto the cushions. “Changjo’s coming.”
Reality hit. “I should go,” Suho decided.
“Suddenly?” Chunji asked, laughing.
“Yes.” Gently, firmly nudging Chunji up, he got to his feet. “I don’t think that I should see Changjo tonight. Or any more of your members.” What he’d just done had been amazing, but if he stayed, he’d just get himself in trouble.
“You want me to tell Sehun?” Chunji asked.
He zipped his pants up. It amazed him that he hadn’t even taken any of his clothes off; he’d felt naked, vulnerable, completely exposed. Chunji was getting dressed too slowly; his gaze lingered on Chunji’s bare skin, mourning every little bit that Chunji covered up. He wished that he could take Chunji home with him. “I don’t want to cut their time short.” The responsible part of his brain was running on automatic, making decisions, speaking all on its own; the rest of him was reaching for Chunji again, pulling Chunji into his arms, kissing Chunji’s neck. “Maybe I’ll just leave on my own.”
Laughing, Chunji finished getting dressed in the circle of his arms, returning his kisses when he indulged his desire for more of Chunji’s mouth. “Why do I get the feeling you don’t really want to leave?”
“I have to go,” he said, more to himself than to Chunji. “I shouldn’t stay.” Not if Changjo was coming. What if someone else showed up? What if Niel - - “I have to go,” he said, feeling really determined about it, still kissing Chunji, his hands sliding over Chunji’s waist.
He heard a click and looked over to see the bedroom door opening. Embarrassed, feeling caught, he cleared his throat, moving away from Chunji.
“Um,” L.Joe said, blushing.
“Finished?” Chunji asked, tugging his flannel shirt up from where Suho had been pushing it off again.
“Yeah.” L.Joe glanced at the floor, the couch, Suho.
With a growing sense of shame, Suho realized that they knew. L.Joe and Sehun hadn’t been too caught up in each other to notice. They’d heard. Heard everything? They knew! What was L.Joe doing, looking for evidence? Trying to figure out where they’d done it?
Hastily turning aside, Suho avoided looking at Sehun. He didn’t know what he’d see on Sehun’s face, and he wasn’t ready to find out. “Thanks for, uh,” he told Chunji.
“Oh, you’re welcome,” Chunji said, grinning at him.
God. “We’ll go.” He went over to the door and crammed his feet into the first pair of shoes he saw. They were Sehun’s. He kicked them off and found his own. “Tell Changjo, tell him that I’m sorry, I’ll see him another time. I’ll text him, I’ll apologize.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Chunji said.
He patted his pockets. Chunji handed him his phone. “I,” he said, and when he met Chunji’s beautiful eyes, he faltered. His will crumbled. He closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Chunji’s again. Chunji moaned softly, a luscious sound that purred down his spine, and he parted his lips, his tongue snaking into Chunji’s mouth.
By the time he finally recovered and let go, he was panting, and his cock was straining against his fly. “Have to go,” he said, trying to convince himself. Seeing L.Joe staring at him with a shocked expression, eyes bulging, he blushed. “Like you’ve never kissed him before.”
“Not that well,” Chunji said, opening the door.
“I - - ya!” L.Joe exclaimed.
Suho got downstairs and in the van before Sehun said anything. As the van pulled away from the curb, Sehun demanded, “Are you high?!”
What? Offended, he glared at Sehun. “No! Of course I’m not high!”
“Are you sure?” Sehun grabbed at his face. He shoved Sehun’s hand away, but Sehun did it again, holding his chin and peering intently into his eyes.
“Maknae!” Refusing to be manhandled by a dongsaeng, he smacked Sehun’s hand off of him. “Stop it! I’m fine!”
“You just - - do you know what you just did?!”
“Was it something I’m not old enough to do?” he demanded.
“Are you addicted to couches?”
He was addicted to sex, maybe. He opened his mouth to explain, but he didn’t know how to explain, so he closed it again. He shouldn’t have to justify his sexual choices to the maknae, but he didn’t want Sehun to be upset or misunderstand. “I can make my own decisions and live my own life,” he said first. “What’s private is private, I don’t want you gossiping about this.”
Sehun looked confused, worried, eyebrows drawn together, mouth unhappy.
“I did something with Chen. And it was,” incredible, the time of his life, “nice, it was good. I’ve wanted to do it with other members, too. Like Baekhyun. But the days between Chen and Baekhyun seem really far apart, this week. So when I saw Chunji, maybe I got a little excited.”
Slowly, Sehun’s jaw dropped. His eyebrows climbed up to his hairline.
“You don’t have to stare,” Suho complained, pushing him away.
“Hyung!” Sehun gaped at Suho for another year or so. Then abruptly he shook his head. “What about me? Didn’t we just hang out last night? Why - - I’m between Chen hyung and Baekhyun hyung! What about me?”
“I.” He blushed, flattered. “Would you want to?”
“Would I - - I’ll do it now!” Sehun exclaimed. “We can do it right here!”
“We’re not doing that in the van!” He was relieved by Sehun’s reaction; it was nice to know that his dongsaengs liked the idea. He’d hoped that they would, but it was reassuring to have such an enthusiastic reception.
“Shit, I have to wait, now?” Sehun asked. “Then Chunji hyung wasn’t your first? You and Chen hyung - - already?”
“Shit.” Shoving his hand through his hair, Sehun slumped back in his seat, legs splaying everywhere. “He didn’t even say anything?”
“What would he say?” Suho demanded. “What’s private is private.”
“God, hyung, you just did it on the couch, I don’t know if it’s that private right now.”
“You weren’t watching, were you?!”
“What, through a closed door?” Sehun asked, sitting up again. “No, but we heard everything.” Then he glared at Suho. “It totally screwed up the mood, I couldn’t focus with you screaming like that. I didn’t get half the shit done I planned to do. You owe me another visit. And you can’t come along next time if you’re going to be like this, I’ll get someone else to bring me.”
Surprised, he felt defensive and guilty. Those impulses warred, but guilt won out, and he winced. “Sorry, maknae.” He couldn’t apologize much more than that; it was mortifying to think about what exactly they’d overheard. He hadn’t said anything raunchy, had he? Those things slipped out more and more lately; everyone he knew was a bad influence on him. “I’ll make sure that you see L.Joe again soon.”
Sehun glared at him for another second, then grinned at him suddenly, squeezing his arm. “How was Chen hyung? What about Chunji hyung?”
Too aware of their manager’s presence, he shushed Sehun. Then he texted, “The best best best, I didn’t even realize, I’ve been missing out on so much! Now stop asking me about it.”
Reading the text, Sehun laughed. Then Sehun grinned at him, looking suggestive and cocky. “Just wait a few more days, hyung. I’ll show you everything good about it.”
Spooned up behind Suho in bed, Xiumin rested his chin on Suho’s shoulder. “You asleep yet?”
“Mmm. What do you need, dongsaeng-ah?” Suho mumbled.
Xiumin pinched his ass, laughing. “Ya, hyung, I’m your hyung.”
“Um, oh, what?” Suho asked.
“Never mind, go back to sleep.” He’d worn Suho out pretty well; he felt good about it.
It was a shame that Sehun had dragged Suho over to Teen Top’s dorm and there hadn’t been any good couch make-out sessions tonight. Suho would be back on the couch tomorrow, though, he hoped. That was always the tricky thing with Suho; missing one night might just be an aberration, or it might mean that Suho would never sit on that couch again. And he had no idea why Suho had started making out on the couch to begin with. What had prompted it? Had Baekhyun just seemed irresistible that first night? He had trouble believing that. But after years of refusing to touch anyone in front of anyone else, why had Suho suddenly decided that making out in front of them was okay? Not knowing what in the world had started it, he had no idea what to do to keep it going or coax Suho back if it stopped.
“Ah, Baekhyun-ah,” Suho sighed, shifting in his arms.
Xiumin’s eyebrows shot up. Maybe he’d underestimated Baekhyun after all.
Sehun didn’t know what to think.
He’d already been trying to figure out what was going on with Suho and the couch. Then Suho had screwed Chunji right in the middle of Teen Top’s dorm. He’d been so shocked, he’d thought that Suho had completely freaking lost it, that Suho had been high, that Chunji had accidentally slipped Suho tainted water.
Suho had screwed Chen? Already? And was planning to do Baekhyun, too? And was open to screwing him, all of a sudden, when that had been completely off of the table for all of this time?
What was going on? Things were changing, but why? He had no idea what Suho was doing, or what Suho was thinking, or why.
The other members knew even less than he did - - didn’t they? He had no idea what they knew, since no one was allowed to talk about it. He couldn’t tell them about Chunji, and Chen hadn’t said a word.
He was used to confiding in his hyungs. He was used to sharing news with them. He wanted to talk to them about Suho; he wanted to clear up confusion, wanted to hear all of the details from Chen, wanted to tease Baekhyun and get Baekhyun all riled up with anticipation. He’d heard Chunji demanding more of Suho’s cock; he’d seen Suho obsessively kissing Chunji and trying to pull Chunji’s clothes off. He didn’t mind keeping those things from the general public - - obviously it was Suho’s private, sexual business, and he didn’t want to spread the news around. But he hated not being able to say a thing to the other members. These were the people he shared every aspect of his life with, the hyungs who were there beside him through everything, good and bad. They celebrated together and they cried together and they fought with each other and they had orgies together, and this one aspect of their lives was a complete secret. A complete mystery. No one ever knew what the hell was going on with Suho. No one ever knew why Suho did anything sexual or how long it would last.
All of this secrecy and mystery wasn’t good. It was only creating confusion among the members, making them desperate and uneasy when they didn’t need to be. But Sehun didn’t know how to get Suho to understand that.
Lay got his seat on the couch early. The other members said that since it was his night to be with Suho, he shouldn’t take up room on the couch, too, but he didn’t see why not. He didn’t want to be greedy, but Suho was a great kisser, and he didn’t want to miss an opportunity.
They’d been in the dorm for about half an hour when Chanyeol came by and said, “Don’t bother, you can all get up. Sunggyu hyung’s coming over.”
Was that bad news or good news? Bad news for the couch. Good news, because Sunggyu always got Suho super worked up. Bad news if Sunggyu spent the night and Lay had to wait until tomorrow. Good news if Sunggyu left early and Lay got to finish whatever Sunggyu had started.
When the doorbell rang, Suho called, “Maknae! Get the door!” Sehun grumbled and got up. D.O. took his spot on the couch. Kai was slumped against the armrest, asleep.
Sunggyu walked into the room. His hair wasn’t done, his bangs slanting into his eyes, and he had on a T-shirt and baggy shorts. It looked like he was coming over to sit with them on the couch, and that was a big surprise; usually he just went into Suho’s room to talk in private.
Lay shoved at D.O., pushing him off of the sofa to make room.
Sunggyu sat down.
On the floor, Chanyeol and Baekhyun paused their videogame, eyeing him.
“How are you?” he asked Lay.
“I’m fine.” Why had he come over to the couch? Did he know about the couch? The couch seemed incredibly significant, lately, and Lay wondered if it was only a coincidence that Sunggyu had decided to sit on it. “How are you, how was filming?” What else did he know about? Did Suho confide in him? About just the couch, or about more? Did he know all about how hot Suho was for Lay’s cock, and how desperately Suho cried out when Lay boned him? “I love it when Lay’s night rolls around, he blows me like a hard-core cum-slut,” was that the kind of thing that Suho told him? Maybe not in those words.
“Good, it went well.”
Suho walked in, fixing his hair, tousling his bangs and then smoothing them down again. “You came,” he said, smiling at Sunggyu.
He gestured over his shoulder. “Do you want to go to my room?”
“No, this is good, I’m fine here,” Sunggyu said, running his hands over the cushions.
Smiling, Suho blushed. “You don’t want to sit there.”
“It’s comfortable.” Sunggyu glanced at Lay, raising his eyebrows. “Comfortable?”
“Very comfortable,” Lay confirmed. Sunggyu knew about the couch, right? This wasn’t a coincidence?
Suho hesitated, then frowned at Chanyeol and Baekhyun. “Don’t just play games, that’s only fun for you. Find something everyone can enjoy. What do you want to watch?” he asked Sunggyu.
“Isn’t D.O.’s drama on tonight?”
“Is it?” Baekhyun asked, and then he caught himself, laughing, waving his hands at D.O. “I mean, right! Yes! Yes, of course, it’s tonight, I knew that.”
“You haven’t been watching?” Sunggyu asked.
“We’re busy,” Chanyeol said.
“You watch it?” Suho asked, sounding surprised.
“Sungjong watches,” Sunggyu said.
“Sungjong doesn’t like me,” D.O. said.
“Of course he likes you,” Suho said.
D.O. shook his head.
“Go get Sunggyu hyung a snack,” Suho told him while Chanyeol turned the videogame off. “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I don’t need anything, I just ate before I came over,” Sunggyu said. “Sit down, you can’t stand around all night, it’s awkward for the rest of us.” He scooted closer to Lay, leaving more space between himself and Kai.
Suho sat down. He pouted at the TV while Baekhyun found D.O.’s drama. He told D.O. to go and get the other members so that everyone could watch together. Xiumin and Chen came in and dragged Kai off of the couch, dumping him on the floor and taking over that corner of the couch. Sehun sat behind Baekhyun on the floor, hugging Baekhyun to his chest. Kai fell asleep again.
It was kind of a boring episode. It was way too slow and there were too many characters to keep track of. That wasn’t D.O.’s fault, but Lay found the drama on the couch way more interesting.
It started when Sunggyu held Suho’s hand. He just held it, at first, and that was really nice to see. Suho barely even hugged Sunggyu in front of anybody; Lay was really glad to get to witness some skinship.
After a while, Sunggyu started caressing Suho’s hand. Rubbed his thumb over Suho’s knuckles. It looked really romantic, it looked tender, kind of erotic. Sunggyu had pretty, smooth hands, and Lay was sure that it felt good. Suho glanced down a few times, like he was preoccupied with it, but he didn’t pull away.
Then Sunggyu slouched down a little and leaned against Suho. Tucked in with his head on Suho’s shoulder. Their fingers were laced together on Sunggyu’s thigh. He seemed really relaxed there, comfortable; he laughed at foolish commercials and said, “Oh, handsome!” whenever D.O. appeared onscreen. Suho held onto his hand and laughed when he laughed and smiled when he spoke, but didn’t move or talk much, and Lay was sure that Suho didn’t want to disturb him, didn’t want to make him sit up.
After a while, though, Sunggyu did sit up. He looked right at Suho and tapped his own shoulder. Suho glanced at the backs of the heads of the kids sitting on the floor and shook his head at Sunggyu. Sunggyu shrugged, still holding Suho’s hand, and his other hand came up, plucking at his shirt, making the neckline rest just so, adjusting the fabric across his shoulders. Then he sat there with his shoulders set very straight and his chin up, his head tilted just to one side, giving Suho plenty of room.
Lay wanted to tell Suho to do it, it would be really nice, nobody would mind! Sunggyu had great shoulders, anyway, they had to be perfect for cuddling up against.
Right past Suho, Chen reached around and ran his hand over Sunggyu’s shoulder, caressing up to Sunggyu’s jaw.
Sunggyu laughed, covering his mouth with one hand, like he was really tickled, and Suho shoved Chen’s hand away. “Don’t!” Chen laughed, and everyone on the floor turned around to see what was going on, and Suho shot Chen a disgusted look.
Disgruntled, Suho pouted at Chen, and then at Sunggyu. And then he settled in, cuddled right up against Sunggyu’s side, tucking his feet up and resting his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder. Lay applauded a little, and Chen laughed, and Sehun grinned, and Baekhyun stared.
Suho stayed that way for the rest of the show, resting against Sunggyu. Baekhyun kept sneaking looks and glancing back so much, he watched the couch more than the TV. It was really nice to see Suho enjoy some skinship. It was his own boyfriend, and it was just here at the dorm, so he should be able to sit comfortably if he wanted to. It wasn’t as X-rated as Lay might have preferred, but it was sweet, and that was good, too.
When the drama was over, Chen got up and came over to sit in Lay’s lap. Immediately, it was obvious that he was just there to talk to Sunggyu. Lay hugged him and rubbed under his shirt while he and Sunggyu talked about work and travel and Hoya. A lot of Hoya. Suho pulled Sunggyu’s hand into his lap and started caressing it, running his fingertips here and there, examining the palm. He seemed kind of lazily contented, slumped bonelessly against Sunggyu’s side, languidly absorbed in stroking Sunggyu’s wrist. He spoke up now and then, not even bothering to look up first, just interjecting.
The third time, Chen laughed. “How do you know so much about Hoya hyung?”
“We’re friends,” Suho said. “Of course we’re close, he’s my dongsaeng’s boyfriend, I need to know what he’s up to and what kind of person he is.”
“What kind of person is he?” Sunggyu asked. “Terrible, he’s terrible, right? You can admit it.”
“He’s sweet,” Suho said. “He works hard and he’s really funny. I like him, he takes care of our Chen well.”
“Sweet, he’s not sweet, no one’s sweet,” Sunggyu said. “Are you talking about the right Hoya?”
Suho laughed. “Are there a lot of other Hoyas that we know?”
Chanyeol turned the videogame back on, and Sehun took Baekhyun’s controller. Baekhyun turned all the way around, leaning against Sehun’s back, and watched the couch. Lay understood why. Seeing Suho around Sunggyu was fascinating. They never got this much of it. It was a shame that Sunggyu was such a big part of Suho’s life that they only got tiny peeks into. Their leader’s boyfriend! This relationship was a big deal.
Maybe Lay had the wrong perspective, because with the other members and their boyfriends, he was used to seeing everything. With Kai and D.O., he knew everything about them, how they interacted, how they cuddled and argued, how Kai looked sucking D.O. off, all of it. And with Xiumin and Luhan, he’d seen everything, too. He’d shared their bedroom, he’d known all about it. And now Chen had Hoya, and Lay got to see them hang out together, got to see them talk and joke and flirt, got to see them make out around the dorm. It made Lay feel happy for Chen, to see how close they were, to see how healthy their relationship was, to see them in love with each other.
Like Suho had said, Hoya was his dongsaeng’s boyfriend, and he needed to know what Hoya was up to and what kind of person he was. They were so open with their relationship, Lay felt confident that he knew all about it. But why couldn’t that apply to their leader’s boyfriend, too? Wasn’t that even more important?
Suho kept Sunggyu as private as Sehun kept L.Joe. He respected that, but he didn’t have to like it.
Suho was running his hand up and down Sunggyu’s arm, stroking up under Sunggyu’s sleeve and back down. He didn’t seem bored, he just seemed sleepy and mesmerized. Right in the middle of Sunggyu and Chen’s conversation, he murmured, “You have such pretty skin.” Still talking to Chen, Sunggyu patted his thigh, which seemed like a really sweet acknowledgement of what he’d said that wouldn’t embarrass him, and Baekhyun stared, eyes widening. It seemed like an overreaction for Baekhyun to be so shocked that Suho would say that, except they didn’t know what kinds of things Suho said to Sunggyu usually. Was this totally normal? Had he said it a dozen times before? Was this the first? Did he like to flatter Sunggyu? How did Sunggyu usually take it? Everything was a mystery!
While Lay was watching Suho, Xiumin leaned in and whispered something into Suho’s ear. He blinked suddenly and looked at Chen. Busy talking to Sunggyu, Chen didn’t notice. He frowned, like Chen had done something to challenge him, something he didn’t approve of. What had Xiumin said?
Suho frowned at Chen. He looked dissatisfied. He nibbled on his lower lip, brows drawn together. And then, looking defiant, he crawled into Sunggyu’s lap, claiming it for himself, even pushing Chen’s knees out of his way as he sat down.
“Ya, what’s this?” Sunggyu asked, wrapping an arm around him. “You’re too heavy for this.”
“I am not.”
Chen laughed. “Why do you look so determined? It’s cozy, isn’t it?”
“Ah, you like sitting on laps, don’t you?” Sunggyu asked Chen. “You do it with Hoya? He’s been trained, our members do that a lot.”
“Do they?” Lay asked, fascinated. “Does Dongwoo hyung sit on him?”
Sunggyu laughed, rubbing Suho’s hip. “Aren’t you too interested? It’s all right when Dongwoo does it, he doesn’t weigh much, it’s not uncomfortable. He doesn’t stay in one place long, though.”
“That hyung seems so much fun to live with,” Chen said.
“They’re awful, they’re all awful,” Sunggyu said. “Hoya’s okay, he doesn’t get in the way, much. Sungjong’s the worst. He wants too much attention all of the time! ‘Oh, hyung, look at this, isn’t it pretty?’ ‘Oh, hyung, look at me, I’m so cute!’ Doing girl group dances all over the dorm, it’s embarrassing.”
“Sounds like Suho,” Xiumin said.
Bursting into laughter, Suho turned around and batted at him. Grinning, he pushed Suho’s hand away.
“Are you like that?” Sunggyu asked, eyeing Suho. “I should have known. The good-looking ones are always too vain, they’re too used to attention. And you have too much aegyo, you think you’re cute.” He smiled when he said it, affection in his voice.
“Who has too much aegyo?” Suho demanded, laughing.
Sunggyu gasped, his jaw dropping. “I don’t have any!”
“You only ever do cute things! Waving to your fans and giving looks to your members and playing with Woohyun, I’ve seen you. You’re full of aegyo.”
He gasped again, eyes wide. “Well, you’re full of shit!”
Suho shook his head, grinning. “Don’t you think you’re protesting too much?”
Sunggyu hugged Suho closer on his lap, his expression grim and disapproving. “Girl group dances all over the dorm.”
“He’s good at them,” Chen said.
“You’ll show me later,” Sunggyu decided, patting Suho.
Ooohhh. “In private?” Lay asked, fascinated.
Suho burst into laughter, and Sunggyu said, “Don’t make it weird!”
Suho stayed on Sunggyu’s lap for a long time. He’d laugh and tease Lay and fuss at Chen, and then he’d get really relaxed, like he was too comfortable, lounging against Sunggyu’s shoulder, his eyes slipping half-closed. He’d toy with Sunggyu’s sleeve, twisting the fabric around his finger, or he’d caress Sunggyu’s collarbones, stroking the same spots over and over. He had kind of a stubborn mentality sometimes, and he’d get fixated on one idea and have trouble getting off of it, but Lay had never seen him do that with someone’s body before. He ran his knuckles up and down the side of Sunggyu’s neck. Looking entranced, he rested his head on Sunggyu’s shoulder, caressing Sunggyu’s neck slowly, running his fingers over Sunggyu’s nape. He just kept doing it, never looking away. Sunggyu kept talking to Chen like nothing was going on, and Chen was doing a good job of playing along, but everyone else, including Lay, was staring at Suho, wondering what he might do next.
“Kids,” he said, lightly rubbing his thumb up the side of Sunggyu’s neck. “It’s time for bed, go to your rooms.”
Nobody moved. Chen and Sunggyu kept talking, and Lay wrapped his arms more snugly around Chen, turned on. Suho wanted Sunggyu, and Suho wanted privacy, and who knew what might happen next?
“I want to kiss you,” he murmured, slumped against Sunggyu’s shoulder, his thumb sweeping slowly back and forth over the same spot. “Right there.”
Sunggyu glanced back at him and patted his thigh. “Go ahead. That’s what hyung’s here for.”
Was it? Was that what Sunggyu was there for? To be kissed at random? To indulge Suho’s sexual whims? Lay was having a lot of trouble not interpreting that in the sexiest, most pornographic ways. It added an obscene element to their relationship that he knew couldn’t possibly be there. On the other hand, since he knew nothing about their relationship, anything was possible!
He let his mind wander around that idea for a moment.
Suho didn’t kiss Sunggyu there. He gazed at Sunggyu’s neck with hurt longing, like he really, really wanted to but just couldn’t. Lay felt bad for him. He had all of the permission he needed, it was his own boyfriend, he was in his own dorm. It was just a kiss on the neck, it wasn’t like he was gulping down Sunggyu’s cock.
But he couldn’t do it.
“Kids,” Xiumin said suddenly. “You didn’t hear what your hyung told you? Go to bed, go to your rooms. Come on.” Getting up, he started pushing and pulling, dragging Baekhyun up, reaching for Chen. “Maknae, turn that off.”
Lay hated to go, but he went along, too, saying a quick good night. Xiumin shoved all of the kids into their rooms and closed their doors on them. Together in their room, the two of them closed the door.
And then they pressed themselves against it, trying to hear.
“He’s not going to do anything,” Lay whispered.
“He wants to do it, he might,” Xiumin whispered back. “Ssshhh.”
There was silence. A long silence for a long time. Lay knew that Suho wasn’t doing anything, or had gone into the bedroom. But if he’d gone to his room, then they’d either hear a lot of moaning or music playing. And there wasn’t anything, there were no sounds at all.
They slid down the door to sit on the floor.
Xiumin fell asleep.
Lay’s head snapped up, his eyes popping open. Was he dreaming? Had he imagined it?
“Oooohhh, oo-oh-h, oh.”
Suho. That was Suho. Moaning. And it was too close, too loud, to be behind his bedroom door. He was moaning on the couch. They were still on the couch. Excited, Lay shook Xiumin awake. “Hyung, hyung,” he whispered, “listen.”
“What?” Xiumin mumbled, rubbing at his face.
“Oh, ooohhh, oh.” Suho was moaning the way he did when he didn’t want to be this turned on but he couldn’t help himself. “Ah, ah, hyung!”
“Oh, shit,” Xiumin whispered.
“We can’t peek,” Lay said, mostly to remind himself.
“No, we can’t look,” Xiumin said firmly, eyeing the doorknob.
“It would be wrong to peek.”
“Shit, the kids,” Xiumin said suddenly. “God damn it. They’re going to spy on him.”
“They wouldn’t.” They would. “Kai wouldn’t let Sehun look.”
“Kai’s probably asleep.”
Very, very carefully, they snuck out of their room. With the door open, Suho’s moans were even louder. Xiumin shuddered, and Lay rubbed himself, really wanting to peek. They shushed each other and split up, moving down the hallway. Lay peeked into Chanyeol’s room; lights off, Chanyeol was dead asleep. Xiumin went into Baekhyun’s room, and Lay slipped into D.O.’s, easing the door shut as silently as he could.
Kai was asleep. D.O. was sitting up in Kai’s bed. Sehun grabbed at Lay and whispered, “What’s happening, what’s he doing?”
“Sshh,” Lay insisted, covering his mouth. “I don’t know.”
“Tell him he can’t go and spy on them,” D.O. whispered.
“Maknae!” That was exactly what Lay had been afraid of! “No, you can’t spy on them.”
“I wasn’t really going to do it,” Sehun whispered. Suho moaned again, loudly, and he winced, ruffling his hair.
“Yes, you were,” D.O. said, and he didn’t deny it.
“I just - - I want to know what they’re doing, I can’t tell. It’s not rhythmic enough, and I don’t hear Sunggyu hyung at all.”
“Ahhh! Ooohh, oh, god, hyung, oh, yes,” Suho moaned. “Yes, yes, ooohhh…”
“God, it sounds so good,” Lay whispered, rubbing his hard-on. If Sunggyu had the self-control to hold back at all, then he was a far stronger man than Lay was.
“Anal,” Sehun whispered. “Oral?”
“Maybe he’s just jacking it, Suho takes forever to get off,” Lay whispered.
D.O. looked at the door. “If it’s Infinite, isn’t it rimming?”
Sehun stared at him in shock. “Suho hyung’s not going to let someone rim him on the couch!”
“Who gets that loud for rimming?” Lay asked.
“Suho hyung gets loud for everything,” D.O. pointed out.
“Oh, god,” Sehun whispered. “That’s why we can’t hear Sunggyu hyung.”
Was that why? “No,” Lay whispered, fondling himself. “No, he wouldn’t.”
“He definitely wouldn’t,” D.O. whispered. “But he might be.”
“They’re doing something,” Sehun said.
“Oh, god, oh, god, oh, yes, yes, yes,” Suho moaned. “Hyung, hyung, please.”
Shuddering, Lay jacked himself. He could picture it a dozen ways, their bodies in obscene configurations, Suho wailing rapturously as Sunggyu did deliciously lewd things to him.
“C’mere, I’ll do it,” Sehun whispered, stroking his cock. Biting back a moan, he spread his thighs, leaning back on his hands, letting Sehun get him off while Suho moaned the roof down.
Chanyeol woke up rock-hard. Groaning, he rubbed his cock, rolling over. Shit, he was turned on.
“Ahhh! Ooohh, oh, god, hyung, oh, yes.”
Chanyeol sat up with a start. What? Suho?
“Yes, yes, ooohhh…”
Holy shit! What was going on? Was Suho getting laid or something? He’d heard it before, but it had never been so loud. It sounded like it was happening-
-right on the couch.
Sunggyu was screwing Suho on the couch.
And everyone had just let Chanyeol sleep right through it?! Assholes!
Betrayed, Chanyeol hurriedly got out of bed. Rubbing himself, limping a little, he opened the door and looked out.
Xiumin and Lay’s door was open. They were probably watching! The whole freaking team was probably out there standing around the couch, getting an eyeful, and they’d let him miss the whole thing!
Feeling injured and left out, feeling kind of bewildered and disoriented, super turned on, Chanyeol looked into the living room.
No other members. There were no other members. He’d been wrong, he was spying, he shouldn’t be here. His mistake registered immediately.
But he felt frozen, rooted to the spot. He couldn’t back away and he couldn’t let go of his hard-on.
Suho was on the couch. With Sunggyu. They were horizontal, Sunggyu on top, Suho pressed down into the cushions, so Chanyeol couldn’t see everything. But it looked like Suho was naked. Bare legs, clothes on the floor. Naked and moaning, loving it, desperate for it. Every enthusiastic, “Oh, hyung, please,” made sexual excitement jump in Chanyeol, made his cock twitch in his hand.
“Like this?” Sunggyu murmured. His voice was soft, tender, way sexier and more intimate than Chanyeol had ever heard him before. He was kissing Suho’s face, it looked like, kissing Suho’s neck, his hand in between their bodies. “I’ll get you off just like this, Money-ah.” God, all of a sudden, Chanyeol really wanted Sunggyu to talk to him like that, so private, so in control, so intimate and so totally confident about mastering his body’s sexual needs.
“Y-y-your cock,” Suho moaned, squirming under him. “I need it, I need you to fuck me.”
“I know,” Sunggyu said gently. “Hyung knows all about it, Money-ah. Let’s do this first, just like this, and then I’ll make sure that you get everything else you want.”
“I need it, I need it, god, fuck me, fuck me, please.” Suho sounded hurt, desperate, in sexual agony. “Ah! Ah! Oh, oh, yes!” He cried out, his fingers digging into Sunggyu’s back, yanking hard on Sunggyu’s shirt. “Oh, please, please, hyung, god, I need you, I need you so much.”
God, Chanyeol had to get out of there. Still staring, watching Suho writhe, remembering way too well what that felt like, he backed up, his cock in his hand.
“Is this good, Money-ah?” Sunggyu murmured. “Does it remind you of other things? Makes you want the rest of me? Hyung knows what you like, Money-ah, hyung will give you everything.”
Oh, god, he was fingering Suho’s ass. Suddenly terrified of being caught, shocked to have seen so much, too aroused to be in control of himself, Chanyeol turned, rushing away.
And tripped over D.O.’s backpack.
And crashed down with a painful thud.
Gasping, he covered his mouth with one hand, smothering his own, “Ouch!”
He cringed, cowering against the floor. His fall had seemed so loud, the whole city must have heard it. He expected it to make the morning news. Mortified, horrified, he couldn’t even breathe.
The whole dorm was silent.
He thought about just spending the rest of his life down there. He wished that he could teleport like Kai and just will himself back into his room. He wished that he could actually set fires with his mind, so he could burn the dorm down and cause a distraction and maybe make Suho forget all about this.
“Not dead, you’re not dead,” Sunggyu said.
“I, I, I,” Suho said in a frantic, determined half-whisper. Chanyeol squeezed his eyes shut.
“It’s just one of your members, it’s some foolish dongsaeng, it’s nobody to you. You scold them and have sex with them and tell them to stop taking so long in the bathroom, there’s nothing that you don’t know about them, what does it matter if they know you like me?”
“I, I don’t, I can’t, I.”
“Ssshhh, it’s okay. Hyung’s here,” Sunggyu said. “Hyung’s here, you can blame it all on me.”
Mortified, miserable, Chanyeol slithered towards his room. He scrambled inside and then he closed the door. He made sure that everyone could hear it click.
“What the fuck?” Baekhyun said to himself, over and over again.
“It was Chanyeol,” Xiumin fumed. “That fucking kid, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Suddenly, the door opened. Baekhyun grabbed at Chen, shivering, startled.
It was Sunggyu. “Everyone out, your leader needs privacy. You, take them to your room, keep them there.”
“Yeah, okay, right,” Xiumin said. He shoved Chen towards the door and dragged Baekhyun along. “We’ll be in my room, they’ll sleep with me.”
They scurried down the hallway and into Xiumin’s room.
Everything was quiet.
Baekhyun heard a door close.
He got into Lay’s bed. Chen got in with him. They huddled together. He was too tense to sleep. Too worked up. He was horny from all of Suho’s moaning and furious with that asshole Chanyeol. He felt guilty, too, that they’d managed to screw everything up. Suho had taken a risk and tried something new and gone that far with Sunggyu, and they’d ruined it, and now what? Suho was probably dying of shame, and would probably never sit on the couch ever again. They’d had such a great thing going on, and now it would never happen again. “I hate Chanyeol. So much,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll kill him first thing in the morning,” Xiumin said. “You won’t have to worry about him anymore.”
Suho’s door stayed shut for a long time. So did Chanyeol’s. The members were quiet that morning, their movements slow, their conversations hushed. They kept a cautious eye on Suho’s door and whispered among themselves about how to make Chanyeol suffer.
Sehun was in the hallway when the door finally opened. Sunggyu glared at him and shooed him away, so he ran into his own room. A couple of minutes later, D.O. reported that the bathroom door was locked. It stayed locked for a while.
After Sunggyu left, Suho went into the kitchen. Sehun pretended to need to get a drink, and then started washing dishes by hand, just to have an excuse to stick close and keep an eye on him. He looked grim and stubborn, and he moved around the kitchen silently.
“Um. Hyung?” Baekhyun asked hesitantly, hugging the doorway. “Sungyeol hyung-”
“It’s fine,” Suho said without looking up. “Do it, do what you want. Live your life however you want, enjoy it.”
Sehun had never heard such carefree, encouraging advice delivered in such a solemn, hollow voice before.
“Um. Okay,” Baekhyun said uncertainly.
“Suho,” Lay said, walking past Baekhyun. “I think that we should talk.”
“Not now,” Suho said.
“It’s important,” Lay said. “I think that we should all talk. There’s been too much not-talking going on, it’s time to address some things.”
Finally looking up, Suho frowned at him. “I said, not now.”
“Then when?” Lay pressed. “It’s important. We should all sit down together. You’ve been keeping too many secrets from us, and look at this, it leads to too many problems. You haven’t been fair to us, and I don’t like it. I don’t like that our leader can’t trust us, when we trust you with everything.”
Suho jerked, looking offended. “Since when don’t I trust you?”
“You won’t tell us anything. We can’t know anything about what you do. You wouldn’t tell us that Sunggyu hyung’s your boyfriend, would you, if you didn’t have to? You wouldn’t let me know that you have sex with the other members if it were something you could hide.”
“Why are those things that you have to know?” Suho asked. “My life isn’t that private! You know all about me and Sunggyu hyung, you know how I feel about him, I’ve told you everything!”
“You’ve never told me how he kisses or how he makes you feel or any of it! I’m your friend, aren’t I?”
“Of course we’re friends,” Suho said, flustered, defensive. He looked conflicted, glancing at Baekhyun, at Sehun. “Is this how everyone feels? You’re all angry with me?”
“No one’s angry,” Lay said.
“You seem angry!”
“I think we’re mostly confused,” Sehun said. “There’s a lot going on and we don’t understand any of it. We don’t understand you. If you’d talk to us more, if you’d tell us things, we wouldn’t be fumbling around trying to keep up.”
“Oh, god, it’s not just me?” Baekhyun asked, sounding relieved. “I never know what’s going on with him. Everything happens out of nowhere! What’s with the couch, suddenly, I love it but I don’t get it! Why now, what’s going on? What’s up with you and Sunggyu hyung, how did that even happen? What about Teen Top, where did that come from, were you planning it or did it just kind of happen or what? What about-”
“Plan it,” Suho repeated. “Plan what, I can’t plan anything. You think that I’ve planned any of this? I never planned to do anything, I never planned to want Chunji, I never planned to fall in love with Changjo, I never planned to feel this way about any of you! I never planned to be this freaking horny all of the time, I never planned to want you like this! I don’t want this! I never wanted any of it!” he shouted, pushing away from the counter. “I just wanted to debut, I wanted to be an idol, I wanted to be in EXO! That’s all I wanted! I don’t know what all of the rest of this is! I don’t control any of it, I don’t plan any of it, I don’t even want it!” Wide-eyed, looking scared and angry, he backed away. “I don’t want it, I don’t want this.”
“Hyung,” Sehun said, reaching for him.
He shoved Sehun away. “I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to be like this. I can’t help it, you think that I’d be this way if I could help it? You think I planned this?!”
Sehun was shocked to see Suho so upset. He wanted to help, but he didn’t know what to do.
“You’re panicking,” Lay said. Moving around the island, he hugged Suho. Not hugging him back, Suho was tense in his embrace, unyielding. “Who are you yelling at?”
“I knew,” Sehun said. “I knew you felt out of control. But it’s bad, isn’t it? It’s worse than I thought.” He’d thought that Suho had been high the other night, to go so far with Chunji. Maybe, in a way, he’d been right.
Suho frowned at him, looking angry and offended. Pushing Lay away, Suho said, “Don’t assume-”
“No,” Lay said firmly. “Let him talk about it. We’re all going to talk about it. There’s been too much not talking about anything. You can’t be like this, look at you, you’re screaming at Baekhyun over nothing, you’re so upset. All because Chanyeol walked in on you with your boyfriend last night?”
“Chanyeol!” Suho exclaimed. “Is that who it was? Park Chanyeol? I-”
“He lives here, too,” Lay said. “We can respect each other’s privacy, but why do we have to hide in our rooms? Isn’t this our home? We’re members, we’re one, isn’t that we say? Why do we have to hide from each other? Why is everything so private and secretive? Why is my leader a mystery to me? Aren’t we friends? Aren’t we close? Is that not what you want?”
“We - - of course we’re close! Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” Suho demanded. “What’s private is private, I can have a private life!”
“We don’t have to know everything that you do,” Sehun said. “But I want to know more about you. I want to understand you better than this. You tell that other team’s maknae more than you tell me. Why do you trust him so much? Why do you trust him more than you trust me?”
“It’s not because I don’t trust you! I never said that, don’t accuse me,” Suho snapped. “I trusted you just the other day, didn’t I, I told you way more than you needed to know.”
“Only because of what I found out! I wouldn’t know anything about anything if I hadn’t found out about it for myself! Lay hyung’s right, I’d never even know that you had a boyfriend at all, I’d never even know that you had sex with any of the members, if you could figure out how to keep it a secret from me.”
“What’s private is private!” Suho shouted, looking furious.
“A leader’s responsibility is real!” he shouted right back, taking an angry step forward. He was so frustrated with this hyung! “It’s your fucking responsibility to keep this team together and bring us close! And all you ever do is close doors and push us away and force us out of your life!”
Stunned, Suho stared at him wordlessly.
“It’s not fair to make us keep your secrets,” he said firmly. “Something happened to Chen hyung that he can’t tell anyone about, not even his best friends. Why are there so many secrets inside of EXO? Let’s love, but if we make love, we can’t mention it to each other? We are one, but we have to hide things from each other? Do you like kissing your boyfriend? You never tell anyone about it. I like kissing you. I can’t tell anyone about it. Does watching Lay hyung dance turn you on sometimes? I can’t ask you about it. How close do you want us to be, how close do you think you and I really are if we can kiss in your bedroom once every eight days and in my bedroom never?”
“What the hell is going on?” Xiumin asked.
“The maknae’s lost his mind,” Baekhyun whispered.
“We’re frustrated,” Lay said. “We’re confused and we’re frustrated. I don’t want to fight with you, Suho, I want you to talk to us. Tell us things. Tell us how you feel, tell us what you’re thinking about, tell us what’s going on. At least sometimes. It’s been years and I still don’t know if you like kissing Chen as much as I do.”
“Private,” Suho mumbled, scratching his head.
Sehun sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. Fine. This hyung was too stubborn to deal with. “Never mind,” he said. “Just never mind. We don’t have to know anything about you, right, we’re just your members. It’s a working relationship, it’s a job, we’re just employees together. I’m sorry for caring so much about you, leader-nim, I guess I had it all wrong.”
“Don’t get sassy,” Suho ordered, frowning at him. “You’re not as clever as you think that you are.”
“Good, then we’ll just be professional from now on,” he said. Brushing past Baekhyun in the doorway, he said, “You can all have a seven day rotation. Leave me out of it.”
“Maknae,” Xiumin said, grabbing at him, but he kept walking.
Suho was distant all day. He kept his head down and focused on work. He kept himself apart from them, grim and solemn.
Lay gave him space and time to think everything through. Late that night, Lay went to his room and closed the door.
Seated on his bed, he looked up, frowning. “What is it? You can see that I’m busy.”
Lay shook his head. “We have to talk.”
Suho’s frown deepened. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Then we won’t talk?”
“You can go.” Suho went back to reading his papers.
Frustrated, Lay went over and took them from him.
Grasping at the empty air, Suho stared up at him, indignant. “I’m working!”
“You’ve done enough work for today.” He tossed the papers onto Chen’s bed, then turned on the lamp. “So have I, I’m going to bed.”
“Then go to your own room.”
He turned off the overhead light, then walked back to the bed. “I can’t stay here? I’m not welcome here anymore? You’re going to start closing doors in the members’ faces, again?”
“No one said that you’re not welcome,” Suho said, frowning, looking stubborn but uneasy. “If you want to talk to me - - about you, if you’re having a problem - - you can come to me about anything, you should always be able to confide in your leader.”
“Who do you confide in?” He sat beside Suho on the bed. “Do you talk to L and Changjo? Do you talk to Sunggyu hyung? Is it easier with them because you’re not their leader, because they don’t rely on you like we do? Is that why you can’t talk to us, you think that it’s not good to be too open with us?”
“I’ve already shown you too much of myself,” Suho said.
“I don’t agree with that.” He was troubled by what Suho had said earlier that day. By a lot of what Suho had said. “Is it true that you don’t want us? Is that why you close the door on us so often? Because you don’t like it? Have we been burdening you all of this time?” He couldn’t believe that; it didn’t make sense. It didn’t fit in with what else he’d experienced, the passionate way Suho kissed him, how enthusiastic Suho was when it came to sex. But Suho’s pain and anger had been very raw, very real, in the kitchen. Something was very wrong. He just didn’t understand what it was.
“I…” Suho rubbed his face, suddenly looking exhausted. “Let’s not talk about that. I’m tired of it, I’m tired of thinking about it, I don’t want to discuss it now.”
Feeling bad, he patted Suho’s back. “We have to talk about it sometime, okay? You can’t keep going on like this. You’re too upset.”
“Later.” Suho pushed at him lightly. “Go to your room. I don’t want you in my bed tonight. I don’t want anyone in here with me.”
He wanted to argue, but he didn’t know what to say. He left.
Chen finished washing his face. He was drying his hands when Baekhyun slumped against the sink and muttered, “Lay hyung’s in his own room.”
What? “What do you mean, he’s in his own room.”
“What do you think I mean, I mean he’s in his own room. In his own bed. He’s probably asleep already.”
“Well, wake him up! If he misses his night, then we all have to wait an extra night!” Chen couldn’t wait any longer for his night, and he couldn’t wait any longer for Baekhyun’s, either. He was beside himself, impatient for it to happen.
“He didn’t miss his night, he had his night, and he lost it. Suho hyung kicked him out.”
No. “No, no,” Chen said. In denial, he stared at Baekhyun. “No, no, no.” This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Suho couldn’t close doors again. “No, no,” he said again, going to the hyungs’ room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he shook Lay’s shoulder. “Hyung, you have to go, you need to be in Suho hyung’s bed now.”
“It’s over,” Baekhyun said dismally, standing over him. “It’s all done. He won’t let anyone visit him at night for weeks. Months. We can sleep in our own beds every night from now on, there’s no reason to stay away.”
“You shouldn’t be so calm about this,” Chen warned him. If he had any idea what he was supposed to be doing tomorrow night, he wouldn’t accept it so easily.
“Calm, I’m not calm, I’m depressed,” he said, slumping down on top of Lay.
“Suho’s upset,” Lay said. “I tried to talk to him, but he wants to be alone. I’ll try to talk to him again tomorrow.”
“I think he’s cracking up,” Baekhyun said. “The way he was this morning, I’ve never seen him like that before. I think he’s finally snapped.”
“So it’s agreed, we’ll kill Chanyeol in the morning,” Xiumin said from the other bed.
“It’s not about Chanyeol,” Chen said. “It’s about, oh, I don’t know what it’s about. But it’s not new, it’s not Chanyeol, Suho hyung’s always like this. He just gets upset and pulls away from us. He gets upset and he shuts down. It’s a bad cycle, he shouldn’t be like this.”
“He told me that he’s shown us too much of himself, but I feel like he hides too much,” Lay said.
“He hides everything,” Chen said. “It’s not right. I’ve been patient with him because I do respect his privacy, I do think it’s okay to be discreet about some things. I understand that. But he takes it too far. He has too many boundaries. If he can confide in Changjo, he should be able to confide in us, too. I don’t know why he thinks that he can’t.”
“I’m easy to talk to!” Baekhyun insisted. “You can tell me anything.”
“We’ll have a group meeting tomorrow,” Lay said. “We’ll see if he’ll at least sit down and listen to us.”
Xiumin’s phone beeped. “What the hell,” he said, sitting up and staring at it.
“What?” Chen asked.
“That little shit!” He got out of bed and stormed out of the room. “Suho!” he shouted.
Astonished, Chen followed him. Suho’s door was open; Xiumin looked in, stormed over to the front door, opened it, looked out, and slammed it shut. “He’s gone!”
“Gone?” Chen repeated.
“I don’t have abandonment issues,” Baekhyun said, hugging himself.
“He’s not gone,” Xiumin snapped impatiently. “He’s just gone. He went out. He texted me like a fucking coward to tell me that I’m in charge until he gets back.”
“What the hell,” Baekhyun said. “Where’d he go?”
“Didn’t say,” Xiumin said curtly.
“I guess, I mean, he’s allowed to go out if he wants,” Chen said. It seemed awfully sudden, though.
“He’s filming in the morning,” Lay said. “He can’t go out.”
“The leader makes his own rules,” Xiumin said. He glared at the front door, and then he gestured to them. “Go on, go to bed. I’m in charge, I’m responsible, I’ll be scolded if you all look like shit tomorrow. Go to bed.”
Chen went to his room. He rarely got to sleep in his own bed anymore, so he decided to try it for once.
Baekhyun climbed in with him, smushing him.
“You don’t have abandonment issues,” Chen said, wrapping him up and tugging him close. “Right.”
It was cold and windy. Suho sat huddled in on himself, looking miserable, the tip of his nose turning red with the chill. He watched the river for a while, looked at the city lights. “Do you keep secrets from your members?” he finally asked.
“No,” C.A.P. said.
Suho squinted across the picnic table at him. “Not about anything?”
He shrugged, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets. “Nothing to keep secrets about.” He reconsidered. “I guess there’s some stuff that I don’t tell them. Not because it’s a secret, just because it’s embarrassing. It’s easier on everybody if they don’t know.”
“Eh. Stupid stuff. We did have a secret from L.Joe for a while.” He scratched his ear. “That was for his own good, though. L.Joe’s weird, it was better if he didn’t know, it just would’ve upset him.” Lowering his hand, he explained, “Sunggyu hyung knew he was, you know, the way he is. Sunggyu hyung talked to us about it, me and Chunji. So we could understand what the hell was going on with him. But we didn’t tell him that Sunggyu hyung knew, we acted like we’d just figured things out on our own. It would’ve freaked him out if he knew that people could tell just by looking at him.” He tucked his hand back into his pocket. “We have secrets that we keep inside Teen Top. But I don’t hide things from the members.”
“What about your own private life?”
“Don’t have one. Isn’t much going on that I’d be upset if they found out about. They don’t know about how Woohyun hyung treats me, but that’s just because it’s embarrassing. And I don’t want to encourage them in that stuff, they don’t have any sense, they’d get in over their heads. But if they found out…” His voice trailed off and he shrugged. “Wouldn’t bother me much.”
“You and Woohyun.” Suho stopped talking and stared at him, looking astonished.
He chuckled at that. “It’s not a big deal. He’s just pushy.”
Suho blinked, absorbing that. “But if you had sexual secrets.”
“Like what?” He wasn’t sure what would be worth keeping to himself.
“Like if you,” Suho glanced around, lowering his voice to a whisper, “bottomed for someone.”
“I do,” he said. “For Sunggyu hyung and Woohyun hyung.”
Suho blinked his eyes wide. “You do?”
He nodded, grinning. This hyung was so cute.
“You,” Suho glanced around again, leaning closer across the table, “you do that with my hyung?”
He nodded again. “He’s not bad at it.” Then he grinned, his gaze flicking over Suho. “Seems like a lot for you to handle. You surprise me.”
Blushing brightly, Suho squirmed on the bench. “This is why I don’t like for people to know things! Once they know, they can’t stop bringing it up!”
“You don’t like being teased? Aw, you blush too much,” he said, laughing. “I don’t mean anything by it.”
“But it’s embarrassing!”
“So?” He didn’t mean to be flip; it was a real question. So what if it was embarrassing? “A bunch of assholes mocking you, get upset, I understand. Your friends teasing you, making you blush, you can’t handle it?”
“Private things are meant to be private. I have a reputation. I’m a leader, I can’t have people taking me lightly. No one takes Onew hyung lightly.”
“His members tease him all of the time.”
“Not about certain things. Not about certain topics.” Suho frowned. “Do they?”
“Like about what? What are you afraid people will tease you about?”
“Well, like you said. You teased me about, about Sunggyu hyung. About size and things. It’s because I do things a certain way, and you and Onew hyung and Sunggyu hyung don’t do that, so no one teases you about it.”
“I’d tease you no matter what,” C.A.P. said. “Do you want me to tease you about what you do with Baekhyun hyung, instead? I don’t care if you’re the button or the buttonhole, that doesn’t make a difference. Do you think that people care about that?”
“Buttonhole,” Suho repeated. “What - - where did you get that from, is that a metaphor?”
He laughed. “You can tell what it’s a metaphor for!”
“But, button?” Suho asked. “It’s bigger than a button!”
Laughing harder, he leaned back, enjoying Suho’s exasperation. “I wasn’t making assumptions, it’s just a comment.”
“A button, of all things!”
“Besides, I just told you, I play buttonhole sometimes,” C.A.P. said. “My members still get in the van when I tell them to. It doesn’t make a difference.”
Suho pouted at the table. The wind ruffled his hair.
C.A.P. watched people pass by a few yards away. An older couple; they didn’t even glance in their direction.
Suho tried to smooth down his hair. “A leader’s reputation is everything. Outside the group, to keep the public thinking well of EXO, but inside the group, too. My members have to respect me.”
“If they know you’re a buttonhole, they won’t respect you? That doesn’t make sense. And they already know, anyway. What do you think you’re keeping a secret? I know everything about you, and I’ve never even done anything with you. What does Kai not already know that would change everything if he found out?”
Suho frowned. “That I… No, he knows that,” he mumbled. He gave the table a pointed look and said, “And he’s known all about that for a while.” He pouted again, looking thoughtful.
“It’s too cold out here,” C.A.P. said. “Want to come to my dorm and let me button you up?”
Suho stared at him.
He raised his eyebrows, grinning suggestively.
Suho burst into laughter. “I’ll come to your dorm for a minute,” he decided, getting up. “I want to see your kids. It’s late, are they sleeping well?”
“They were,” he said, getting to his feet. “I left Chunji in charge, though, so who knows.”
When Suho went into Teen Top’s dorm, Changjo was there, on the couch, texting someone. Looking up, he hopped to his feet, smiling. “Hey, you came to visit?”
“I wanted to tuck everybody in,” he explained, taking off his shoes. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Tuck us in, are we three years old?”
C.A.P. took the phone from Changjo’s hand, glancing at the screen. “Wait, you,” Changjo said, and C.A.P. smacked him with it. “Ow!”
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” C.A.P. asked. “Go to bed.”
“Go to bed,” C.A.P. repeated, putting Changjo’s phone in his own pocket.
Changjo frowned but didn’t try to get his phone back. “I want Suho hyung to tuck me in,” he said, coming over to Suho.
L.Joe shuffled into the room, ruffling his hair. He said as much as, “I,” before C.A.P. pushed him back the way he’d come. “Get back in bed.”
“What, everyone else is up.”
“Get your butt back in bed,” C.A.P. said, kneeing him in the ass. “Maknae, you, too. And make sure Ricky and Chunji are asleep, too.”
“Go,” Suho said, giving Changjo a push.
C.A.P. gave him a can of beer. It seemed like a weird moment to drink, but it did warm him up. They went to check on the kids. Chunji was sitting up in bed; L.Joe was tucked in, arguing with him. “Shut up and go to sleep,” C.A.P. said, splaying his hand over Chunji’s face and pushing Chunji down.
Laughing, sputtering, Chunji sank down. “Get off, hey!”
“Good night,” C.A.P. said, grinning and dropping his pillow on his head.
“Yeah, good night,” Chunji said, smiling and swatting C.A.P.’s thigh.
If C.A.P. was going to be so foolish, then Suho would have to be the responsible parent. “Sleep well,” he said, pulling the covers up. “Have good dreams, get plenty of rest.”
“Are you tucking me in?” Chunji asked, laughing. “Don’t we get a bedtime story, too? Aren’t you going to kiss me good night?”
“No stories, you’ve already stayed up late enough.” Suho smoothed his bangs and kissed his cheek. He was so pretty, and his eyes sparkled with such good humor, Suho dropped a kiss on his cherry red lips, too. “Good night, now close your eyes.”
“I like this,” Chunji decided, snuggling down. “You can come over and do this any night you want.”
“You wish,” C.A.P. said.
“Why don’t you kiss us good night?” L.Joe asked.
“Because last time I tried it, Niel thought that it meant I had some fatal disease and he called Andy hyung to ask if I was dying.”
“Oh, yeah,” Chunji said, laughing. “That was funny.”
“Go to sleep,” Suho instructed, smoothing L.Joe’s covers. He kissed L.Joe’s forehead. “Have good dreams.”
L.Joe blushed and smiled at him. “Night, hyung.”
In the maknaes’ room, Ricky and Niel were in bed together, smushed in back to back. Completely naked. Changjo was sitting up in the other bed, alert, grinning. Ricky was fast asleep, but when Suho pulled the covers up, Niel woke up, blinking. “What’s this?”
“Hush, I’m just tucking you in,” Suho said, draping the covers over them. “Go back to sleep, you need your rest.” Suho kissed his cheek.
“What’s happening?” he asked. “Am I dreaming? Are you sane?”
“I’m fine, now go to sleep.” He moved around in between the beds and dropped a kiss on Ricky’s cheek. Smiling, he smoothed Ricky’s eyebrow. Such a good dongsaeng. “I hope you’re having good dreams.”
“Hoobaes are so weird these days,” Niel said.
Ignoring that, he turned to the other bed. Changjo tried to look innocent, but he could see a mischievous smile twitching at the corners of Changjo’s lips. “It’s bedtime. All of your hyungs are asleep, and you should be, too.”
“I’m wide awake. I’ll have trouble sleeping,” Changjo said. “You should sleep with me. You should do something to wear me out so I’ll sleep better.”
“Great, go practice,” C.A.P. said. “Come back in three hours, you’ll sleep all night.”
Putting a firm hand on Changjo’s shoulder, Suho shoved him flat. He laughed but he stayed where Suho put him. “Sleep,” Suho ordered, yanking the sheet up. Then Suho kissed his forehead and whispered, “I love you.” He smiled, tapping his cheek. Completely unable to resist him, Suho kissed his cheek and whispered it again. Giving his chest a pat, Suho straightened.
“No one’s dying,” C.A.P. said, “Suho hyung’s just way too nice to you jerks. Go to sleep.”
They left, pulling the door shut.
“You can stay,” C.A.P. said, putting a hand on his waist. “Niel’s bed is open.”
Could he stay? “I should go back.” He’d left his dorm too abruptly; his members might think that something was wrong. But he’d told Xiumin that he was leaving. And they were all adults, they’d be fine. He’d go back in the morning. “I’m tired,” he admitted. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours.”
“You worry too much,” C.A.P. told him quietly. “You gotta trust your members more. They’re good guys, they’ll have your back. They trust you. You gotta let them know that you trust them, too.”
It sounded really reasonable, laid out like that. And maybe there was something to it. Let his members know that he trusted them. He’d thought that he had, he’d thought that he showed them that he could trust them in a lot of ways. But maybe he was giving them mixed messages.
C.A.P. kissed him. Slowly. Captivated by the press of C.A.P.’s lips against his, he closed his eyes and kissed back. C.A.P.’s hand slid over his waist, and he parted his lips, deepening the kiss.
“Mmm.” C.A.P. raised his head, stepping back. A hint of a smile; the affection in C.A.P.’s eyes warmed him. “Let me see if we have clean sheets, you aren’t going to want Niel’s bed the way it is.”
They changed Niel’s sheets, and they went to bed. He liked sleeping in Teen Top’s dorm. It was cozy. He set the alarm on his phone piously early, so that he could wake up and get back home before anyone else would be awake. Then he impulsively reset it for a few hours later, so he could sleep in and maybe see Teen Top before he left. Hug Changjo good-bye and maybe convince Niel that he was in his right mind.
“Wait,” Chen said, sitting up straighter. “He’s not there?”
A moment later, he was off of the phone. “Suho hyung’s not at Infinite’s dorm,” he told Baekhyun.
“Not - - then where is he?” Baekhyun asked, looking around.
“Well, not in the corner,” Chen said, laughing. Turning his phone over, he wondered. “Maybe he went to see Changjo.”
“Or Shinee?” Baekhyun guessed, sitting beside him on his bed.
Baekhyun sighed, flopping onto his back, stretching his legs out. “If we call him to ask him where he is, he’ll be upset that we’re checking up on him. If we text C.A.P. to ask if he’s over there, we’ll be sneaking around behind his back and making people talk and speculate about his private life. So we get to sit here and have no freaking idea where our leader is.”
“Other groups don’t know where their leader is every minute of the day, do they?” Chen asked. “Ryeowook hyung doesn’t know where Leeteuk hyung is every second. As long as Suho hyung shows up on time, he’s not doing anything wrong.”
Baekhyun sat up, rubbing his feet against the floor. “Why am I the one with abandonment issues, and not you? It’s not like, I mean, I don’t want to bring stuff up, but, seriously. If we played soccer right now, it would be a team of six against a team of three. Our leader ran off in the middle of the night and no one knows where he went, and that doesn’t bother you?”
“I trust Suho,” he said. It was a simple statement, but he meant it sincerely. “I trust him to be where he promised that he’d be. He’ll make it to his filming this morning, and he’ll be at practice tonight. He’s professional enough, and he loves us enough, and whatever else he’s upset about, he’ll put EXO first.”
“Yeah.” Baekhyun took a deep breath. Then he glanced at Chen. “Sorry I brought up the…”
Chen knew that his smile didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s okay.” He squeezed Baekhyun’s shoulder and got up. “I’ll shower first.”
Changjo was in the corner, doing push-ups, shirtless. Chunji was wandering around, eating a bowl of cereal. L.Joe was on one end of the couch, curled up in a tiny ball, fast asleep. Niel was on the other end of the couch, kicking Ricky.
Suho couldn’t resist the urge to intervene. “Stop that,” he said, pushing Niel’s feet down. “Where’s C.A.P.?”
“Shaving or something,” Chunji said. “Do you want something to eat? Maknae, get breakfast for Suho hyung.”
“No, it’s okay, I have to go,” Suho said. He’d tell C.A.P. good-bye - - he wanted to thank C.A.P. for meeting him so suddenly in the middle of the night, and for listening to his complaints - - and then he’d go.
He was halfway down the hallway when he heard Changjo call, “Hyung, Suho hyung, no, wait!”
What did the maknae sound so panicked about? Suho went to the bathroom door. Too late, he realized that he could hear the shower running, but the door was open so-
Oh. Oh, god. Oh, oh…
He was still there, frozen, staring, when Changjo put an arm around him and pulled him away. “Sorry,” Changjo said breathlessly, tugging him out of the doorway, guiding him back. “You okay?”
He hadn’t had sex last night. He hadn’t done anything last night, and he hadn’t had any sex this morning, either. That might’ve been a mistake. Trying to control his breathing, unable to control a goddamned thing, he stared at the blank hallway wall. In his mind, he was still staring at C.A.P. At C.A.P.’s very naked body, at the water streaming over C.A.P.’s firm ass, at the muscles in C.A.P.’s arms, at the confident hang of C.A.P.’s thick cock.
“It’s okay,” Changjo said softly, wrapping an arm around him, tight across his chest.
“I, I have to go,” he said numbly, still seeing C.A.P. on the wall in front of him.
“You have to go, or you have to go?” Changjo asked.
He tried to snap himself out of it. “No, no, I have to go,” he said, rubbing at his face. “I have to get, filming, I, I need to leave now.”
Letting him go, Changjo asked, “Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to come with you?”
Yes. God, no, no, that would make it worse. “No, I…”
“Do you want Ricky to go with you?”
He couldn’t. “How would that look, how weird would what be, if I show up with Teen Top’s Ricky?”
“If anyone asks, you’re taking him to lunch after, he has the morning off and he doesn’t want to spend it cooped up with us. Ricky!” Changjo called.
“What?” Ricky called back.
“Suho hyung’s taking you to lunch,” Changjo called. “Go to his filming with him.”
It was too much, it would inconvenience Ricky, and it wouldn’t help, anyway, how would it help? “No,” Suho started to say.
“Five minutes,” Changjo said, holding a hand up and looking in his eyes. “You’re too horny right now, let me fix it, let me help you. Just go to the front door and give me five minutes.”
Five minutes later, Ricky was at his side, casually dressed and ready to go. “Where are we having lunch? Are you going to take me someplace nice, or are you going to throw a bag of crackers at me and tell me to get lost, like Chunji hyung does?”
“That was one time, you ungrateful jackass,” Chunji said, laughing.
“You don’t have to come,” Suho said. “You shouldn’t come.” It was a bad idea. He was already too horny; he couldn’t have Ricky around him. It would be better if he focused on his work, on filming, and just tried to get through it.
“I want to come,” Ricky said. “I have the morning off for once, I want to get out of here. I’m tired of these hyungs, I want to hang out with someone who’s nice to me. And you’re away at concerts and things so much, it’s nice to spend time with you. Where should we have lunch?” he asked, opening the door.
He sounded so sincere, Suho blinked, automatically following him into the hallway. Suho was already starting to believe that this whole thing had been Ricky’s idea in the first place. “Where do you want to eat? I’ll take you anywhere.”
Baekhyun pretended to have to call their manager about something. While he was on the phone, he asked, “Where are you, are you with Suho hyung, is he filming? Or, or, uh…”
“I’m here, he’s on the set.”
Relieved, Baekhyun patted his own chest. “Good. So he’s okay, it’s going well?”
“It’s great, he’s getting a good response.”
How could he be so weird and tense and angry and freaked out and screaming at them in the kitchen, and then be so great when the cameras flipped on? “I guess he really is professional.”
“The leader’s a leader for a reason.”
Ricky stuck by Suho’s side. In the van, in the dressing room, whenever Suho had a break from set, he was there. He didn’t flirt, he didn’t tease, he didn’t even think about sex. He talked about boring things, he asked about Suho’s family, he talked about the sunbaes on the show. He kept Suho calm and focused on the moment.
There were times when Suho’s attention became too intense, or when Suho became distracted, flustered, blushing for no reason and inventing excuses to get away from him. That was when he gave Suho a problem to solve. He was suddenly a dongsaeng in need of a hyung, an idol in need of a leader. He complained that his back hurt. He confessed that he missed Onew. He said that he hadn’t been eating well enough lately and it was hard on him. Immediately, Suho forgot all about being horny and only cared about taking care of him, helping him, lecturing him.
It was a constant balancing act, regulating Suho’s emotional temperature, monitoring Suho’s hormones. But he kept Suho happy and calm, providing enough of a distraction so that Suho could relax and get through filming, without encouraging the kind of personal attention that would ignite Suho’s libido.
He got a really good lunch out of it, too.
When the van stopped in front of his dorm, he slipped off his seatbelt. “Thanks, hyung.”
Suho hugged him. A long, loving hug. Figuring that since he was about to leave, it was okay if he relaxed into it, he rested his chin on Suho’s shoulder. “It’s okay, hyung.”
Suho’s hand ran over his back. “Thank you, Ricky-ah. I owe you so much. You took good care of me today, you did a lot for me. I’ll be there for you, too, you can come to me whenever you need me.”
Then Suho understood what he’d done today. But he didn’t want to acknowledge it; it wouldn’t be any good to confirm it and make it obvious. “You don’t have to be so grateful, hyung, I had a nice time.” He pulled back, smiling. “Thanks for lunch.”
When he got up to the dorm, Changjo bounded over to the door. “How was it, was it okay? Is Suho hyung okay? How did it go, why aren’t you telling me everything?”
“Maknae! Give me space,” he insisted, kicking at Changjo’s ankles and then taking off his shoes. “It’s fine, your precious hyung is fine.” Running his hand through his hair, he met Changjo’s eyes. “I was perfect, why do you ever doubt me?”
Grinning, Changjo squeezed him. “Thanks.”
Suho spent some time taking care of personal things. Shopping, checking in with his family. Not thinking about sex, not worrying, not turning over the same old, exhausting problems in his mind. His hormones were quiet for once, and he only did ordinary, mundane things. Ricky had given him the gift of fragile emotional peace, and he wanted to hold onto it while he could.
He showed up to practice on time. It wasn’t a great practice or a bad one, it just was. In the van for the ride home, he slumped in his seat and tried not to think about anything at all.
In the dorm, he almost got away from the front door before Lay said, “We need a group meeting. Now, tonight, all nine of us. We have to talk.”
He thought about what everyone had been telling him, for all of this time. What everyone had told him, over and over. That he needed to open up. That he needed to trust more and confide more and let people in. That his members were good people who loved him. That a leader’s responsibility was real.
“Okay,” he said. He would try. “Let’s talk.”
Baekhyun sat between Xiumin and Chanyeol on the couch. Then he remembered that they were all still pissed off at Chanyeol, and he shoved Chanyeol onto the floor. He pulled Chen down beside him instead.
Lay sat on Xiumin’s other side. The kids grouped together on the floor. Suho sat on the edge of the coffee table and rubbed his hands together.
“No one’s upset with anybody,” Lay said. Sehun gave the floor a guilty look. “But we should talk more. I want us to communicate. I want you to communicate,” he told Suho.
“I don’t know what to say,” Suho admitted. “Maybe you’re right, I think that you’re right, but I don’t know where to start.”
“What do you tell L and Changjo?” Chen asked.
“I tell them everything,” he said.
“What, everything?” Baekhyun asked, startled.
“You know that.”
“I - - but, like everything?! What does that mean?” Baekhyun demanded.
“Is everything, like, you’ve told them that you have sex with us and we each have a night, we go in order?” Lay asked. “Or is everything, like, ‘I like fingering Baekhyun’s ass, it makes him come really hard?’”
“Um,” Suho said, and Baekhyun died. “Both?” he asked, wincing. “All of that, I’ve talked about everything.”
“You talk about those things?” Kai asked.
“Infinite’s L knows that Suho hyung likes putting his fingers in my ass,” Baekhyun told the air, trying to get used to the idea. No, he couldn’t get used to it, not happening.
“I’ve told L and Changjo everything,” Suho said. “And Sunggyu hyung. None of you are shy, I thought it was okay, it seemed that you liked L knowing those things about you.”
“It’s okay, I don’t care,” Xiumin said. “It’s just, I’m not used to you talking about, you know, fingering anyone’s asshole.”
“Kim Sunggyu knows what I do in bed,” D.O. said.
“Nothing, you don’t do anything in bed,” Chanyeol said.
“I don’t do anything in your bed,” D.O. said, giving him a cool look. “Check me out in Kai’s bed sometime.” Kai laughed.
“You only said good things, right?” Sehun asked. “You only told L hyung good things about me, like I’m great in bed and I’m well-hung and I give good head.”
“What, you want him to lie?” Xiumin asked. Sehun gave him a fake, tight smile, and he laughed.
“I said good things,” Suho assured them. “I don’t have anything bad to say! You’re all…” He gestured at them helplessly. “You’re sexy, you’re experienced, you’re great at all of the things you do. What would I complain about?”
“Then why aren’t you happy?” Lay asked. “Why does it seem like you don’t like sex? Why do we always have to talk you into it? Not all of the time, sometimes you’re so much fun, you’re so confident, I love it, nothing’s sexier. But then the rest of the time, I feel like we’re bothering you, like it’s a burden. I don’t want to push you into it if you don’t like it. But you never seem happy telling us no, either.”
“He likes it too much,” Sehun said.
Suho hesitated, biting his lip. He looked like he wanted to tell Sehun off, but he didn’t.
“Too much?” Baekhyun didn’t get it. “Who likes sex too much, what does that mean? Like Dongwoo hyung?” Dongwoo really liked sex. But Suho was nothing like him.
“Like L.Joe,” Xiumin said. Suho’s head snapped up, fire in his eyes. “Not - - no one’s saying that about you, calm down,” Xiumin said. “I just mean. Maknae, you explain it.”
“Suho hyung’s sensitive,” Chen said. “Some people, they can’t keep their emotions out of sex, it pulls on their whole heart if you just kiss them right. Other people, they can’t turn their hormones off, they get hot over every little thing if you look at them right. Suho hyung’s both ways. Once it starts, he can’t hold back.”
“He’s vulnerable,” Sehun said. “He can’t help himself, he feels out of control. It’s not sexy, it’s terrifying. That’s why he pulls back and closes doors and can’t just jump into an orgy. He can only have sex with people he trusts, people who really love him and won’t take advantage of him. It’s too easy to hurt him.”
“What?” Chanyeol asked. “Suho hyung? Are you saying - - what?”
Was that why Suho was so weird about sex? He was so intense, sometimes. And so needy sometimes, god, it could get super sexy, it was the hottest thing ever, when he started begging for it. But what the members were saying made sense; he did seem too desperate sometimes, like he needed it too much. Baekhyun wasn’t that amazing.
But, hold on. “If you’re so picky and if you’re so vulnerable, what about L and Changjo?” Baekhyun asked. “What about Sunggyu hyung?”
“He can choose his own sex partners,” Kai said.
“We don’t know L hyung, we don’t trust Changjo, and Sunggyu hyung is super pushy,” Baekhyun said. “He’s a leader and he’s a hyung, have you seen the way his members scurry around to obey him? If Suho hyung’s so sensitive, then why is it okay for him to have that kind of guy for a boyfriend?”
“No, it’s okay,” Chanyeol said. “Sunggyu hyung’s really good to him.”
“What would you know about it?” Sehun asked.
“I walked in on them, did you forget that I walked in on them? It’s all I can think about,” Chanyeol said, his ears burning red. “Sunggyu hyung’s really good to him, you don’t have to worry.”
“It.” Suho ran his hand through his hair, looking daunted. “It’s really hard for me. It’s embarrassing. The every eight days, taking turns, it’s good, it helps me. When that’s happening, we’re closer, I feel like we’re a better team. And it’s good for me, I feel better. I.” He grimaced. “I need to have a lot of sex. When I have it at night and in the morning, when it happens regularly, I can handle myself better, I’m more confident.”
“If it’s better for us, and better for you, then why do you stop?” Kai asked.
“I get, I don’t know. I just need to pull away sometimes. I get overwhelmed. I worry that I’m doing the wrong thing, that I’m taking advantage, that I’m going too far. Sex makes me feel so out of control, sometimes I need to stop it and try to be in control. I want to prove to myself that I, I don’t know, that I can go without it, that it doesn’t control me. Sex messes up so much, it’s such a risk, there’s gossip and blind items and scandals, I don’t want to make a mistake, I don’t want to jeopardize everything we’ve worked so hard for.” He sighed, his shoulders drooping. “But everyone’s right. It’s better if I have sex. It’s better for our team. It’s healthier for me. I’m not really helping anyone when I pull away, it’s not a real solution, it only frustrates everyone.”
Baekhyun had never realized that sex was such a struggle for Suho. He sounded super conflicted about it. Baekhyun had never known that he suffered like this. “How can we help? Is there something we can do?”
“Would you feel more in control if you actually took more control?” Sehun asked. “What if you tried taking charge more? Sexually, I mean, pushing us around, telling us what to do? Not ‘us,’” he added suddenly. “Baekhyun hyung, try it on him. Or Changjo, do it to Changjo.”
“What are you suggesting?” Baekhyun asked, not at all sure about that.
“What if, I mean,” Lay said. “What if you topped? Would that help? It might not make a difference, but if you were the one giving it, maybe you’d feel more in charge?”
“We have to stop thinking that way, the positions don’t mean anything,” Kai said.
“That’s something else.” Suho scratched the back of his head. “Twice, there were two, I tried - - well, I wasn’t really topping, I was never on top. If you think of it like a buttonhole - - no, that’s weird.”
“Oh my god,” Baekhyun said, his heart thumping in his chest. “Say it, say it, what are you trying to say?”
“Did you screw somebody?” Xiumin asked.
“Was it L hyung?” D.O. asked.
“Chen, I did it with Chen,” Suho said.
Baekhyun whirled around and socked Chen in the arm as hard as he could.
“Ow! I wanted to tell you! I wanted to tell you all of this time! It was last week, it was my last turn.”
“What about my turn?” Baekhyun demanded. “Twice, you said you did it twice? Who else, who do I have to punch?” His hand balled into a fist, he stared at the other members, looking for a guilty face.
The only guilty expression was Suho’s. “It was Chunji.”
“He took my spot?!” Baekhyun demanded.
“God, you really go for it,” Chanyeol said, staring at Suho. “You try a rock climbing wall once, the next day you’re running up Everest.”
“I’m a climbing wall?” Chen demanded.
“It - - this is what I’m trying to tell you,” Suho said. “I didn’t want to do that with Chunji at all. I never planned for it, I never plan anything. I couldn’t stop myself, I couldn’t control it. I had sex with Chen and it was, god, it was the best, I didn’t know that it could be like that. I wanted you to be next. I tried so hard, I held back all week, I wanted you so much.” Baekhyun stared at him, stunned to hear him talk this way, amazed to be the one he was talking to. “I had to get away from you and try to calm down, I had to get away from Chen, I thought that if I went to Teen Top’s dorm I’d be safe. I was trying to get away from sex. I policed myself all week, it was hell, I needed you so badly. I thought that I was finally safe, you were the whole way across the city, I thought that I’d be okay. And then I saw Chunji, and I - - I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t control it. I just, I needed him, I needed it, I couldn’t stay off of him.”
“They did it right on the couch,” Sehun said. “L.Joe sunbae and I couldn’t even finish, they were so loud.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Suho said. “I couldn’t resist him.”
“Suho hyung was all over him,” Sehun said. “Even after it was over. Kissing him and trying to take off his clothes.”
“Okay, hush, they understand,” Suho said.
“No one understands as much as you think, I think,” Lay said. “You give us too much credit. You have all of these things happening inside, that you think are obvious to everybody else, but they aren’t. We don’t know about any of this.”
“That’s why you have to talk to us,” Chen urged. “Tell us these things so we can understand you.”
“You fucked Chunji hyung on Teen Top’s couch?” Kai asked.
Baekhyun rubbed the side of his head, trying to get his brain back in order. His mind was blown, completely blown.
“What is it about couches lately?” Chanyeol asked. “Do you have a new fetish?”
“That’s not - - that’s something else,” Suho said. “Everybody acts like the couch is just another bed, like it’s a place to make out and do all of the rest of it. I was a little jealous, I think. You’re all so carefree, you have so much fun on the couch, all over the dorm. I wanted to have fun, too. Sometimes I’m glad to have restrictions. I feel safer. Certain times of the day, only in my room, I like it when it’s controlled. But sometimes, I don’t know, I want to have a good time, too, I want to enjoy myself like everyone else does. So I wanted to try making out on the couch. A little kissing, maybe. Everybody else does it, I can try it too, right?”
“Yes, yes, right,” Baekhyun said. “No one’s discouraging you!”
“Sunggyu hyung.” He licked his lips. “He kissed me on his couch, at his dorm. I really liked it. I liked everything about it. I wanted to try it here, too. You’re my members, this is my home, it seemed natural, it’s normal. So I tried it.”
“I loved it,” Baekhyun said. “For the record. If you’re taking a poll, or anything. I loved it, I think you should keep doing it. Do it all of the time. Do it right now, if you want to.”
“I thought it went great,” Xiumin said. “Before Chanyeol ruined everything like a huge fucking ass, it was great.”
“I kind of wanted you to choose me for it, next,” Kai admitted.
“See, that’s another thing,” Suho said. “I can’t choose, that’s not fair, I can’t play favorites. And it’s easier if things are restricted. I don’t have to worry about being out of control if it’s all arranged and decided anyway. This person, this place, this time, when it’s all set up, I can let it happen. It’s easier.”
“But it’s healthy if you decide on your own, sometimes,” Sehun said. “Little things like who you want to kiss on the couch. You can practice making your own choices.”
“It’s not a little thing,” Suho said, and Baekhyun realized that he meant it. He really meant it. A simple thing like making out on the couch wasn’t simple for Suho, not even close.
“Then maybe that’s even more reason for you to practice it,” Kai said.
“When you talk to L and Changjo, and Sunggyu hyung,” Baekhyun said. “Is there someone who agrees with you? Do they tell you that you’re right to be so private, and that you should try not having sex, and that you’re weird to feel out of control?”
“No,” Suho said immediately. “No, never. They’re the reason I have sex as often as I do, it’s because they encourage me so much. They tell me to have it more often, that’s why I do it in the mornings, too, now, and not just at night. They encouraged me to try the couch, they always want me to trust myself more. I even started watching you all more, paying more attention, when you have sex around the dorm. They think that it’s good if I get in touch with what I want, if I get more confident and more comfortable. That’s why I tried sex with Chen, tried penetrating, because they encouraged me.”
“Then they’re… They’re our sexual guardian angels,” Chanyeol said.
“They encouraged you to screw Chen hyung, and not them?” Sehun asked.
“Of course Chen’s first,” Suho said.
“Why do you talk so much to them and not to us?” Baekhyun asked.
Suho frowned, thinking it over. “Maybe because I’m not their leader. They’re my dongsaengs, we’re close, but with a leader, it’s different. There are other issues, there’s respect, I have to know that you think well of me. It’s easier to confess things to them because I don’t have to worry that they’ll stop listening to me if they know too much about me. It wasn’t immediate, I didn’t confide in them right away. But when I finally did, I felt so much better. There was so much inside that I needed to get out, once I started talking, I didn’t want to stop. It’s so good to have someone to talk to. And then, with Sunggyu hyung, he’s a hyung I can confide in. He lets me unburden myself, he listens to me even when I’m annoying, he always encourages me to be a better man and a better leader.”
“Once you told them everything, did they stop respecting you?” Xiumin asked.
“No,” Suho said. “No, of course not.”
“Then why would we?” he asked. “Why do you think we would, if they didn’t?”
Suho pouted thoughtfully.
“I feel bad that you’re going through all of this,” Baekhyun said. “But I don’t think less of you. I want to help.”
“I feel relieved,” D.O. said. “I feel like I understand you better. It’s good.”
“More communication always makes better sex,” Kai said. “I think that you’ll have a better time with all of the members now, if you keep talking to us.”
“Do you have questions?” Suho asked. “Are there things that you want to know?”
“How sexual can the questions be?” Lay asked. “How explicit?”
“Question, yes, I have a question,” Baekhyun said. “I have a lot of them. Is tonight my night, is it my turn or Lay hyung’s? Are you going to fuck me? Is that still going on? Are you going to screw me tonight, is that actually happening? If it does, can I talk about it, can I tell the members? Can I tell Chen what it was like?”
“I don’t decide whose night it is, that’s up to you,” Suho said quickly.
“My night, it’s mine, it’s my turn,” Baekhyun insisted. “What about the sex, are we doing it?”
Suho was turning pink. “If you want to.”
“Yes, yes, I want to.” He had to know, he had to hear it. “Do you want to?” Right out in the open, in the middle of the living room, in front of witnesses.
Suho was turning red. “I want to.”
Oh, god. Suho had just said it. Suho wanted to screw him. “Now,” he said, getting up.
Xiumin shoved him back down. “He said that we get to ask questions, we’re asking questions. You can get to that in a minute.”
“What do you do with L?” Chanyeol asked. “What do you do with D.O.? Is Sunggyu hyung’s cock as big as Chen says that it is? Do you like it when I rim you or are you just faking?”
“I never fake it,” Suho said. “I don’t fake anything, I’ve never.”
“Holy shit,” Lay said. “Then you really like it that much?”
“I like everything that much,” he mumbled, running his hand through his hair. He seemed so embarrassed and annoyed with himself, Baekhyun believed him. “I can’t talk about L, I have to respect his privacy. But I can talk about all of you, I guess, if that’s okay with you? And Teen Top, they wouldn’t care. D.O. can tell you what we do together, it’s not very different from what I do with everyone else. I do the same things with all of the members, I think. Except that D.O.’s never topped me.”
“Has Chen topped you?” Xiumin asked.
“Everyone has,” Suho said. “Everyone I’ve had sex with. Except D.O. And Niel, he hasn’t.”
“What happened with you and Teen Top?” Chanyeol asked.
“Are you going to do it with Infinite, too?” Sehun asked.
“Did Niel go down on you, did you love it?” Lay asked.
“Have you done it with C.A.P. and L.Joe, or not?” Baekhyun asked.
“Should we keep our eight-day rotation the way it is, or should we go in a different order?” Chen asked. “I feel like we should switch it up.”
“Not everybody at once, hold on,” Suho said, blushing but smiling. “Let me answer one question at a time.”
“Draw questions out of a hat!” Chanyeol suggested.
“Go in order, me first,” Xiumin said.
“What’s your question?” D.O. asked him.
Xiumin grinned. “Seriously, who’s your favorite?”
“I don’t have favorites!” Suho said. “Nobody’s my favorite.” Then he smiled. “Everybody’s my favorite. There’s something special about every one of you.”
“Tell us that,” Chanyeol said immediately. “What’s the best thing, what do you like most about everybody?”
Would he really answer? Fascinated, eager to hear it all, Baekhyun leaned in.
“Ah, it’s embarrassing.” Suho shifted on the table, looking uncomfortable. Making conflicted sounds, he studied the floor for a moment. “With, with Xiumin hyung. Can I say this?” he asked, breathing too hard, turning red. “I don’t want the other members to know it, it’s embarrassing!”
“I don’t know, it’s up to you,” Xiumin said, smiling. “I don’t think it’s embarrassing, but I’d like to know what I do that you like.”
Suho hesitated, and then he pointed at the members. He glared at everyone in turn. “Don’t make assumptions. What I do in private doesn’t have anything to do with what I do for EXO. I’m still your leader. You have to get in the van when I tell you to, no matter what.”
Surprised, Baekhyun said, “Of course you’re our leader.”
“Of course you’re our leader,” Kai said, right behind him.
“What the hell do you and Xiumin hyung do?” Lay asked breathlessly.
Suho gave Lay an exasperated look. “It’s not scandalous. You always make everything lewd.” With an embarrassed smile, Suho squirmed on the table, gripping the edge of it. “Xiumin hyung’s very confident. He takes control of things. It’s nice, I like having a hyung in charge.” Baekhyun was so turned on he felt faint. “He calls me names.”
“Good names,” Xiumin added quickly. “Not nasty names, pet names.”
“No, it’s not rude,” Suho said, like that had never occurred to him.
“What names?” Chanyeol asked eagerly.
“You don’t have to tell us,” Sehun said.
“No, you don’t have to tell us,” Baekhyun agreed. “But which names, what does he say to you?”
Suho rubbed his knees. “Kitten,” he finally said. “He calls me his kitten.”
Baekhyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Holy shit,” Chanyeol said involuntarily.
“Oh, god, that’s hot,” Lay breathed.
“Shit, hyung,” Sehun said, rubbing his mouth. “What the hell.” He gazed at Xiumin, looking conflicted. “I don’t know whether to congratulate you or tell you off.”
“He likes it!” Xiumin exclaimed. “It’s nice, I’m nice to him.”
“I want that, can you do that to me?” Baekhyun asked Xiumin, nudging him.
“But you don’t have a thing for hyungs,” Chanyeol said.
“Shut up, like I’m the only one in the room with a hard-on right now.”
Everyone squirmed, Suho shifting uncomfortably and grimacing. “Can I go change pants real quick?” Kai asked.
“Or we could all take our pants off,” Lay suggested.
“I don’t want to talk about this with my pants off!” Suho exclaimed.
“I do,” Chanyeol said.
“Kitten,” Sehun said to himself.
Suho pointed at him. “I don’t want to hear that word outside of this dorm. Not from anybody.”
Did that mean that they could say it inside the dorm? Baekhyun didn’t ask. If Xiumin started calling Suho that around the dorm, his life would be so much better.
“Do me next, what about me?” Lay asked.
“You’re very…” Suho laughed. “You’re very open about sex. You’re too honest! But I like it, when you’re so open about it, it makes me feel more okay with it. It’s harder for me to feel embarrassed when you aren’t ashamed of anything.” Blushing, he smiled at Lay. “And I like the way you jack me off, you’re very good at that.”
Was Suho just going to talk this way from now on? That was going to be hard to get used to. It was shocking, it was really titillating, to hear Suho just say things like “the way you jack me off” out loud. In the middle of the dorm, even! In a team meeting, in ordinary conversation.
“Kai’s always been good to me,” Suho said. “I feel comfortable with you. And you’re very sexy. The way you look and move, it’s a lot to look at, it’s easier for me when you’re behind me and I can’t see anything.”
Kai grinned at him. “Sorry, hyung.”
“D.O.” Suho crossed and uncrossed his ankles. “I have to be more in control of myself when I’m with you. You’re the only one I can do that with, but I feel like I have to, because I don’t want to put pressure on you or upset you. Not upset you, but, ah, you know what I mean. I have to hold back and take care of you. It’s been really difficult, sometimes, but I’m glad that I can do that for you. And it’s easier to control myself around you because you don’t escalate. A lot of the time you don’t want to go very far, so if I know it’s not going anywhere, I don’t get so excited. I like being with you because it’s nice to feel like I’m doing something for someone else, like I’m being a good hyung and giving you a good experience that’s about what you like and what you want. I feel so selfish with everybody else, I feel so needy. And I like rimming you, I really like it, I wish you’d ask for it more.”
Eyes widening, D.O. smiled. “Thank you?” he asked, giving the rest of the members a wary look.
“That’s what he does?” Kai asked, staring at D.O., looking thrilled. “That’s why you get that look? That’s when he rims you?”
Smiling, D.O. nodded.
“What look, what?” Chanyeol asked.
“Sometimes, after it’s his night with Suho hyung, he’s in a great mood the next day,” Kai said. “You never saw it? He walks around like he has some big secret. He’s happy all day. I wanted to know why, I wanted to know what it was, but we can’t talk about Suho hyung, so I could never find out.”
“You don’t let me rim you,” Chanyeol said.
“Suho hyung’s better at it,” D.O. said.
“Don’t make comparisons,” Suho said.
“Why are you good at rimming?” Sehun asked Suho. “Who do you practice on?”
“I’m not some kind of expert,” he complained. “D.O., mostly. Chen and Baekhyun, sometimes. I want to try it with Xiumin hyung, but I’m too shy to ask.”
“Who’s done it to you?” Chanyeol asked.
“Oh, all of the members,” he said. “Except D.O. When you all got excited about Infinite, especially, a lot happened, everybody wanted to try it.”
“That was a good time,” Lay said dreamily.
A really good time. Baekhyun squirmed, remembering.
“Baekhyun,” Suho said, and he froze. Then he realized that Suho was about to talk about him next, and he tucked his hands between his thighs. He had no idea what Suho might say about him. They never talked about their sex life, at all, when they weren’t currently naked and on top of each other. And even then, there wasn’t a lot of conversation. “You’re enthusiastic, and you know what you like. I’ve always envied you for doing what you want and asking for more. It’s one of my first thoughts, why can’t I be more like Baekhyun?”
Really? Super handsome Suho, who kissed better than anybody and came like a porn star, was jealous of him?
“I’ve been suffering all week, I really want you, it’s a serious problem,” Suho added, looking embarrassed. “I’d be really grateful if we could have sex tonight, if you’d just let me try it. I really, really want to. If the rest of the members ever feel this way about you, I don’t know why you ever have any free time to yourself.”
He laughed, amazed. “It’s okay, hyung, I’m down for it. I’ll race you to the bedroom.”
“Are you going to screw the rest of the members, too?” Chanyeol asked.
“Why, worried about what might happen tomorrow night?” Sehun asked.
“I’d like to,” Suho said. “Only if you want it! I don’t want anyone to feel pressured. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. This isn’t about keeping the leader happy, that’s the last thing I want, you all know that.”
“Of course we all know that, you’ve always said that,” Chen said.
“I’d try it sometime,” D.O. said.
“You have such a sexy cock,” Lay told Suho. “You can plug up my holes any time.”
“I’d give it a shot,” Kai said, grinning. “I want to know what it’s like. Could be great.”
“Don’t expect a lot,” Suho said quickly. “I’m still getting used to it. So far, I haven’t even done anything, I just let Chen and Chunji do all of the work. They get on top and, you know. I’m not that confident about all of it.”
“Practice,” Baekhyun said breathlessly. Thinking about sliding onto Suho’s erection and riding that gorgeous bad boy was making his whole body hot. God, prickles of pleasure were zinging up his thighs and making his knees shake. “You should get a lot of practice.”
“Topping school,” Lay murmured. “Classes on lube and on positioning. Different classes on different thrusting techniques. C.A.P. can teach how to fuck like a battering ram, and-”
“Battering rams are not sexy,” Suho objected.
“Mmm, it works for me when C.A.P. hyung does it,” Sehun said.
“God, does it ever,” Baekhyun said, shuddering.
“Chanyeol,” Suho said.
“Oh,” Chanyeol said, smoothing his hair down with both hands. “Hit me with it, I’m ready.”
“I’m always so glad to see you,” Suho admitted. “I have Baekhyun and Chen before you, and D.O. after you, and it’s so good. You aren’t pushy, you don’t want new things, you just want to screw me, and that’s all I want, I just want to feel you inside me. By the time I get to you, I need it so badly, it feels like the best I’ve ever had.”
“Okay, we are not changing the order of the rotation,” Chanyeol told the other members, looking around at everyone. “It’s staying exactly the same.”
“How is that fair?” Sehun asked. “I’m stuck between Kai and Xiumin hyung. I want to be in between some bottoms once in a while, I want to reap the benefits.”
“What if we stagger it?” Lay suggested. “I think we have a good tops-to-bottoms ratio, it would work.”
“No, no, I want an ocean of bottoms around me,” Chanyeol said.
“You want Suho hyung starved for cock just so you can get him worked up?” Kai asked.
“Yes,” Chanyeol said, laughing. “Yes, this is good for me.”
“No one is starved for - - oh, never mind,” Suho mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s okay to feel starved for cock sometimes,” Baekhyun volunteered.
“Who isn’t starved for cock once in a while?” Chen asked.
D.O. raised his hand.
“Hungry for a good, thick sausage,” Lay murmured. “Craving that hard, hot meat.”
“Is it normal to be like this?” Suho asked. “I think that you all encourage each other too much.”
“It’s totally normal to want sex,” Sehun said.
“And think about it all of the time,” Chanyeol said.
“And do it constantly,” Chen added, laughing.
“I’m not saying that we have to fit more sex into our day,” Chanyeol said. “But we could at least try.”
“I have some ideas about that,” Lay said.
“I love this hyung,” Kai said, laughing. “Tell us your ideas.”
“Later,” Suho said. “Discuss it later, this is already a lot for us to talk about. Think it over some more.”
“Oh, I think about it all of the time,” Lay said.
“Who else, who haven’t you talked about yet?” Chanyeol asked Suho. “Do Chen next.”
“Yes, I want to know,” Chen said, clasping his hands together and leaning forward.
“I wish you topped more,” Suho said with feeling.
“God, right?” Baekhyun asked. Finally someone else understood!
“He has such a great cock,” Suho said.
“God, I love it,” Baekhyun said. He couldn’t believe that he and Suho were bonding over this! “No one else understands my frustration, here.”
“It’s just another cock, you’ve had a lot of others,” Chanyeol said.
“Right, so you don’t need to screw Lay hyung, because you have other guys to screw?” Baekhyun asked.
“Don’t joke about that,” Chanyeol said. “I need Lay hyung.”
“I really like making out with you,” Suho told Chen. “And I love going down on you, it turns me on so much.”
“Well, you, too,” Chen said, blushing.
“Who loves going down on Suho?” Lay asked.
“Who hates Suho hyung’s pillow?” Kai asked.
“Oh, god, I hate that thing,” Xiumin said.
“I keep wanting to hide it,” Baekhyun said. “Burn it, throw it out.”
“Let’s just confiscate it,” Chanyeol suggested.
“I need it to sleep!” Suho objected. “Why do you all hate it so much?”
“Because you’re always hiding behind it!” Baekhyun exclaimed.
“It muffles all of your best noises,” Sehun said.
“You don’t need to hear everything,” Suho said. “The whole dorm doesn’t have to listen in.”
“Oh, and the pulling up the sheet move, does he do that with you?” Xiumin asked.
“I hate that!” Lay exclaimed. “I want to watch!”
“I didn’t know if it was just me or what,” Baekhyun said. “Is that normal, to stay covered up during blowjobs?”
“I think some people do it if they’re self-conscious,” Kai said.
“Just don’t give head, then,” Chanyeol said.
“Wait, don’t start arguing for fewer blowjobs,” Baekhyun said quickly.
“No, no! I didn’t mean you,” Chanyeol told Suho. “I meant in general, other people. Not you, you keep doing it. Do it as often as you want!”
“If I talk about Sehun next, can this meeting be over?” Suho asked.
“No! I want to hear about Sunggyu hyung and Teen Top,” Lay said. “I have a lot of questions.”
“Yeah, we definitely need to hear about them,” Baekhyun said.
“Haven’t we talked enough?” Suho asked.
“You have a lot of not talking to make up for,” Xiumin told him.
“Yeah, this has been enlightening,” D.O. said.
Suho groaned, sliding off of the coffee table to sit on the floor, leaning back against it. “All right. The maknae.”
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” Sehun said. “I went too far.”
“It’s not okay to curse at me like that,” Suho said. “But I know that you get frustrated with me.”
“I don’t,” Sehun said. “Yesterday, yeah, but not all of the time.”
“When it comes to you.” Suho paused to think about it. “I haven’t been able to do for you what I want to do for you. When you have sex with the other members, you’re the maknae, so you do more of what they want than what you want. You keep your hyungs happy. I wish that I could be different, that I could give you sex the way you want it. Not the things you do with L.Joe, not BDSM, just sex, the mood you want, the moves you like. But it’s always about what I want, and I’m too weak to change that. I regret that I’m not stronger when it comes to sex, for your sake.”
“What?” Sehun asked, sitting forward. “Hyung, no. You don’t have to feel bad about that. I want to give you what you want. I put a lot of effort into it, that matters to me.”
“Xiumin hyung gets things his way whenever he wants it,” Suho said. “When do you have that chance?”
“If we’re talking about what I really want, I get that from L.Joe sunbae. Anything else, it’s okay. I know you can’t help it.”
Suho shuddered, grimacing. “God, my own maknae. I’m that weak?”
“You’re strong all of the time,” D.O. said. “You have to lead us and speak for us and make decisions for us every day. It’s okay to be weak when it comes to sex, no one expects you to be the leader and in charge for every aspect of your life.”
Suho ruffled his own hair, looking unconvinced.
“Let’s run through Teen Top,” Xiumin said. “We’ll keep it quick, you can give us more details later.”
“You have sex with all of them yourselves, what could you want to know?” Suho asked.
“Niel,” Chanyeol said. “He gives great head, right?”
Suho blushed. “He’s very good.”
“Does Chunji talk dirty when he’s with you?” Lay asked.
“Well. The thing is. It seems like. He needs someone to say it,” Suho said. “I don’t want him to say it, it’s too much! But if he doesn’t say it, then I have to say it, and it’s too embarrassing. So far it’s happened both ways, but I don’t know. It’s probably better if he says it, he’s better at it, but the things he says! Where did he learn to talk like that?”
“Wait, hyung,” Baekhyun said, needing to clear this up. “Are you saying that you talk dirty to Chunji?”
“Well, I tried it,” he admitted. “He liked it, but I don’t know, it’s so awkward.”
“What did you say?” Lay asked, wide-eyed.
“Let’s talk about Ricky,” Suho suggested. Then he blushed. “Let’s not, let’s talk about, oh, who else is there?”
“You could tell me what you want to do with L.Joe sunbae,” Sehun said.
“What about Ricky?” Chanyeol asked.
“Ricky.” He licked his lips. “He’s very good at getting me off. He makes me come a lot. I still don’t know how he does it. Something about the way he…” Looking disconcerted, Suho gestured, fingers curling in the air, and Baekhyun belatedly realized that he was fondling an invisible cock. “I don’t know. He has some kind of magic touch that gets me off fast.”
“Fast?” Xiumin repeated.
“You take forever,” Chanyeol said.
“It’s not like I can help it,” Suho said.
“What’s he doing to you, what speeds it up?” Lay asked.
“I don’t know. And he won’t tell me! It’s my own body and he won’t explain it to me. He says that it’s a secret.”
“Can we ask him?” Lay asked.
“Yes, I want to know if you get an answer,” Suho said.
Baekhyun was astonished. “Are we allowed to talk to Teen Top about sex with you?”
“I don’t know.” His brows drew together. “I should let you talk to each other, right, the eight of you? Then is it weird if I won’t let Teen Top do it? I don’t think that they’d say anything bad. C.A.P. wouldn’t be rude, and I think that Ricky knows how to be discreet. L.Joe’s never been disrespectful. What do you think?”
“I think that Niel’s going to ask about your meat a lot,” Chen said.
“Meat, why is it meat,” Suho mumbled. “Why is everyone so crude all of the time?”
“Do you like ‘rod’ better?” Lay asked. “C.A.P. says ‘stick’ sometimes.”
“Is it okay to have some other team running around talking about how our leader gives head?” Baekhyun asked.
“They’re not going to discuss it in the middle of the street,” Chanyeol said.
“If we can’t trust them, we shouldn’t go on MT with them,” D.O. said.
“We’ve trusted them with a lot,” Suho said. “And they’ve stuck with us through a lot. If they were going to throw our secrets into the street to get back at us for something, or if they were careless about our privacy, it would’ve happened by now.”
“I guess they have some pretty weird dirt on Sehun,” Baekhyun admitted. “Nothing they know about you is any worse.”
“I would love to talk to Chunji about what it was like,” Chen said. “His first time with you.”
“I want to talk to Changjo,” Sehun said.
“Yeah, tell us about Changjo,” Lay urged.
“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Xiumin said. “I know you come so fucking hard for him.”
“Hyung!” Suho exclaimed, bursting into laughter. “It’s not like that!” Then he bit his lip and rubbed his thighs. “It’s like that,” he confessed. “It’s always like that.”
“God, he’s good, right?” Chen asked. “When he slides inside me, I feel like I want him to give it to me all night.”
“It - - it’s because I love him so much,” Suho said. “Really, I - - no,” he admitted, wincing guiltily. “It’s because he’s so sexy. It’s what you said. But I do love him, it’s not only physical.”
“You don’t have to justify it,” Kai said. “Have fun with it.”
“He knows how I feel about him,” Suho said, picking at the hem of his pants. “He knows I’m weak. So he’s careful with me. He’s playful sometimes, it helps to break up the mood when things are too intense, but he doesn’t go too far. I know that you worry about that,” he told Sehun. “You don’t have to. Changjo wouldn’t take advantage of me.”
“Mmm. Don’t you love slurping on that young, hard cock?” Lay asked.
“What kind of question is that?” Suho demanded. “Are you going to ask if I like Xiumin hyung’s old, hard cock?”
“I’m not in my eighties,” Xiumin said.
“Tell us about Sunggyu hyung’s old cock,” Chen urged.
“You’ve seen it, what am I supposed to say?” Suho asked.
“We haven’t seen it,” Chanyeol said.
“I’m curious,” D.O. admitted. “I don’t think that I’d like it.”
“Did Chen make it sound ten feet tall?” Suho asked.
“I told them it’s, you know, like this,” Chen said, and he held his hands apart.
“That.” Suho frowned thoughtfully, reaching over. He pushed Chen’s hands closer together, then shook his head and guided them apart again. He tilted his head to one side and made minute adjustments. “Like that?”
Chen laughed. “Really?”
“I was with it the other day, I know what I saw.”
“How wide is it?” Lay asked.
Suho gestured, curling his fingers in.
“Shit,” Kai said.
“Invite him over,” Baekhyun said.
“Maybe I shouldn’t talk about him,” Suho said. “It’s okay about Teen Top, you’ve all been with them and they’re not shy. But Sunggyu hyung hasn’t had sex with you, and maybe he wouldn’t be comfortable if you knew everything.”
“Is he good to you?” Sehun asked. “That’s what matters, that’s what I want to know about.”
“Is it romantic?” Chen asked.
“Is it kinky?” Lay asked.
“Does he call you ‘Young Money’ in bed?” D.O. asked.
“He’s always good to me,” Suho said. “He makes me feel really loved and very safe. I’m still not in control of myself, but I can trust him. That’s really important to me, and he understands that, he makes sure that I feel good when I’m with him.”
Baekhyun was really glad to hear that. He felt better about Sunggyu immediately.
“It’s romantic,” Suho said. “Nothing’s kinky, we don’t do those things. He does call me that, he says ‘Young Money’ in bed, but I like it.”
“I thought that Chen was full of shit, when he talked about how magical and romantic it was with Sunggyu hyung,” Chanyeol said. “But - - okay, okay, I walked in on you, I’ll never forgive myself, I deserve to suffer - - but it was really romantic, what I heard. It was really sexy. I wanted him to do me, next. My cock was so hard, I tripped over it, is why I fell.”
“So your boyfriend is hung like a super-star and is also super romantic,” Baekhyun said. “And you get L whenever you want him. And Xiumin hyung calls you ‘kitten.’”
“Jealous?” Chen teased.
“So jealous!” he exclaimed.
Everyone laughed at him. “Maybe Xiumin hyung will give you a nickname, too,” Suho said.
“Are you going to do C.A.P. and L.Joe?” Chanyeol asked.
“What about the rest of Infinite?” Kai asked.
“Do you want to try participating more on our next MT?” Lay asked.
“C.A.P. and L.Joe, yes, when the time is right,” Suho said. “The rest of Infinite, once we know each other better. I want us to be closer first. Especially with Dongwoo hyung, I’m a little afraid of what might happen. MT, I don’t know. It’s too much for me.”
“What do you think would happen on MT?” Chanyeol asked. “Like, worst-case scenario, what could actually go wrong?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Suho asked.
“You don’t have to,” Sehun said.
Suho looked conflicted. “I’m supposed to open up more.” He lowered his head, tapping his fingers together. “Things feel good. Everything feels good. I get,” he hesitated, “overwhelmed by how good it is, and then I want more, and I want it so much I feel like I’m out of control, and I’m afraid that I’ll do too much. That I’ll do something I wouldn’t do if I were in my right mind. Like what happened with Chunji. That I’ll go too far and let anything happen. Or, not even just let it, ask for it.” Grimacing, he drew in on himself, looking tense and anxious. “I don’t want to humiliate myself.”
“You think you’ll have sex you don’t want?” Chanyeol asked. “Acts or positions or something that you’ll regret later?”
“But you don’t have to worry about that with us,” Chen said. “Hyung, we’re not going to make you do anything you don’t want.”
“But I want everything.” Suho sounded hurt and frustrated. Angry. “I want all of it. That’s what’s wrong, that’s - - you don’t understand.”
“You don’t understand,” Xiumin said. “You can trust us not to go too far. You can trust us to treat you like we care about you. We do care about you, you know, we’re horny but we’re not a bunch of assholes. If I don’t take advantage of you, I know Lay won’t, and you know Kai won’t.”
“Has that happened?” Chanyeol asked. “Have you had sex you don’t want to have? With us?” He looked wide-eyed; Baekhyun could see him growing alarmed. “Have we done things you don’t want?”
“No! No, no.” Suho looked alarmed, too, and then hurried to reassure them. “No, never, not with any of you. That’s never happened. I’m glad for everything that we do together. It’s always good.”
“Then… Aside from jumping Chunji hyung,” Kai said. “Has anyone ever taken advantage?”
“No. No, that’s why I’m so careful. I have to trust people before I start anything, I have to be sure. That’s why I can’t just rush in. I have to be sure that it’s someone who will,” he licked his lips, looking ashamed, “take care of me, look out for me.”
“Then you know that you can trust us,” Sehun said. “We’re not going to push you into having sex you don’t want to have. And if there’s sex that you want to have, you can have it. Just do it. Ask us for it. We’re safe, it’s safe to do that with us. You can have all of the sex you want with us, it’s just us.”
“Right, you can try anything with us,” Lay said. “Even if you feel vulnerable, we’re not going to do anything bad. We’d never hurt you.”
“You can try new things,” Chen said. “Like you did with me. We could’ve done it ages ago, you could’ve tried it the first time you ever thought about it. Like you said, this is your home, you should be comfortable here. We’re your members, you can do whatever you want with us.”
“You know, if something goes differently, it’s not going to be a crisis,” Xiumin said. “If you want to try a three-way, and it gets kind of wild, it won’t be the end of the world. If you’re hot for Baekhyun and you start making out on the couch and you end up screwing him right there and more of us join in and we have a spontaneous pile-on, it’s not a tragedy. It’s sex, it’s fun, it’s okay to have a good time with it.”
Suho was drawing his knees up, looking away, shaking his head, his lips pressed together in denial. “Hyung, stop that,” Baekhyun said, feeling terrible for him. “It’s just us. I know we’re super hot - - I mean, at least, I am, I don’t know about them - - but we’re not going to take advantage. How can you feel overwhelmed with us? It’s just us, we’re the same fools you yell at during practice, there’s nothing to be worried about with us. If you want sex, just have it. If you want it to be kind of intense or kind of raunchy, just do it.”
“I’ve done stuff with Xiumin hyung and I still listen to him when he scolds me,” Chanyeol said. “He still gets to tell us what to do, he’s still hyung, that doesn’t change whether I bone him hard or not.”
“The maknae tops me all of the time,” Chen added. “I still boss him around. He’s still a stupid kid, he doesn’t get the upper hand just because he put it in me. What happens during sex doesn’t change how we treat each other the rest of the time.”
“I don’t respect D.O. more than everybody else,” Baekhyun said. “Or less than everybody else. It’s not like D.O.’s respectable and Dongwoo hyung’s not. I mean, if we’re being honest, D.O.’s a complete asshole and Dongwoo hyung’s great. So. If you think we’re not going to respect you just because of something that happens during sex, I don’t know. I don’t think so. If you still know how to give that leader look when I screw up, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
“I don’t understand being worried that you like sex too much,” Chen said.
“Different people have different sex drives,” D.O. said. “Kai never stops fucking but the members keep him satisfied, somehow. We can do the same for you.”
“Imagine if you only had one other guy around,” Lay said. “There are all of us! There’s enough to go around. If D.O. doesn’t want it or Sehun’s tired, there’s still everybody else. It’s great. You should take advantage of it, you should screw around more.”
“I’d love getting it more than every eight days,” Chanyeol said. “Not ‘getting it,’ that sounds bad, can I say that to you? Um, being with you, I’d love to be with you more than every eight days. If you want.”
“You know, when we debuted,” Kai said. “We all got to do everything we wanted. We got to have all of the sex we’d ever wanted to have with each other.”
“Even D.O.,” Lay added. “He did everything back then.”
“Right, and then we got used to it, and we figured out what we were really into,” Kai said. “Everybody has a natural rhythm, we just had to get some experience and go too far and work out what was right for us. Maybe you should try that. Have one wild month where you do everything you can, everything you want, all of the time. Get it out of your system.”
“We all did it,” Lay said. “It would be fair if you got a debut month, too.”
“I don’t know,” Suho said, and he immediately followed that up with, “I can’t.”
“Think about it,” Chen said. “Don’t rule it out right away, just think about it, okay?”
“Just don’t get freaked out and shut down,” Baekhyun said. “Whenever you close the door once, we get scared that it’s going to be that way all of the time from now on. I never know whether you’re just having a bad day or if it’s going to be all closed doors for three months. Sometimes it seems like I’m never going to get to see you again at all. I never know how long it’s going to last or why it happened, I never ever know why it happened, we never know what’s going on with you.”
“The uncertainty is killing us,” Chen said.
Suho grimaced, rubbing his arm. “I didn’t think that it bothered you so much.”
“Oh my god,” Sehun said. “Hyung, do you think that no one in EXO gives a fuck about you?”
“Of course it bothers us,” D.O. said. “We hate it when you close doors. We hate not knowing why it’s happening or how long it’s going to last or if you’re ever going to let anyone back in or if it’s over for good. And we never know what’s going on, because we can’t ask you about it.”
“You have to let us talk to you,” Lay said. “It’s not fair that we can’t even ask.”
Suho swallowed, looking chastened. “I’ll try. I’ll keep trying. I don’t want to make things unfair.” He frowned. “I never wanted to hurt anybody’s feelings. When you said before that it seems like I’d keep everything from you if I could, that you wouldn’t even know I had a boyfriend if I could figure out how to keep it from you, I didn’t know that you felt that way. I didn’t know that you took it that way, that it seems like I don’t trust you. I do want to share my life with you.” He looked around the room at them, his expression more open now. “You’re my members, of course I want to be close. It - - maybe it’s hard for me to know how to be close, or what it’s okay to be close about,” he admitted. “It’s easier if everything’s private.”
“It’s not easier for us,” Chen said.
“Okay,” he mumbled, nodding. “I think I see what you mean, now.”
“You think it’s important to be close to Hoya because he’s Chen’s boyfriend,” Xiumin said. “Maybe we want to know more about your boyfriends.”
“Boyfriends,” Suho repeated, looking surprised and then exasperated. “I only have one!”
“You have three,” Chanyeol said.
“And you never tell us anything about them,” Sehun added.
“I talk all of the time! Don’t I talk too much?” Suho asked. He blushed, looking self-conscious. “I think I talk about them too much. I think I’m embarrassing.”
“But you don’t tell us anything important,” Chen said.
“You don’t tell us anything personal,” Kai said.
“I want to know about Sunggyu hyung,” Lay said.
“I want to know about Changjo,” Sehun said.
“When you first started hanging out with L and Changjo, it was all outside of the dorm, or behind closed doors,” Xiumin said. “We never knew what was going on. We had to guess what they were even up to.”
“We know Changjo better, now,” Baekhyun said. “But we don’t know what he’s like when he’s with you. And L…” He let his voice trail off; he didn’t know where to start.
“L hyung’s a mystery,” D.O. said. “He’s still a mystery. He won’t even talk to us.”
“He’s around all of the time,” Suho argued.
“He’s in the room, sometimes,” Chanyeol said. “But he won’t talk to us.”
“He’s friends with Chen!” Suho insisted.
“He’s not, though,” Chen said. “He won’t talk to me, either. Not here, not in Infinite’s dorm. Everything I know about him I know from what Hoya hyung says, not from L.”
“He doesn’t like us,” D.O. said. “That’s okay-”
“That’s not okay,” Baekhyun argued.
“It’s not true, either,” Suho said, frowning.
“It’s okay,” D.O. repeated stubbornly. “But he won’t talk to us, and you never talk to us, so we have no idea what’s going on.”
“I don’t even know why you like him,” Kai said.
“Oh, I know why you like him,” Chanyeol said, grinning, and Baekhyun rolled his eyes.
“I don’t know why you like Changjo,” Sehun said.
“God, maknae, get over it,” Baekhyun said. What was with Sehun and this Changjo obsession?
“The way he acts in front of you, he’s all some cute kid, all aegyo and bullshit,” Sehun told Suho. “And then with us, he’s screwing Baekhyun like a pro. He talks to you, he’s innocent, and he talks to me, and he’s constantly getting digs in. I know he’s not the same person with me that he is in front of you, and I don’t know what he’s like with you behind closed doors. Is it that same guy? Is he some third person? Do you know he has all of these other sides to him, or is he keeping it from you? Is he cuddling up to you because you’re EXO’s Suho or does he have an agenda or what?”
“Oh my god, Changjo’s a criminal mastermind,” Baekhyun said, rolling his eyes again.
“You need to trust your leader,” Suho told Sehun firmly. Sehun sighed, wilting. “And of course he’s not some criminal mastermind. He thinks he is,” Suho continued, and Sehun perked up, giving Suho a close, wondering look, “but he’s not. I know all about Changjo, he’s shown me more sides than he thinks that he has. He has too much energy, and it gets him in trouble, but he’s not bad. He’s been hurt in life, things haven’t always been easy for him, but he’s been maturing a lot, lately. Of course he’s cute with me, he’s a maknae, he’s adorable, he can’t help it. But he’s honest with me, too, he confides in me, and sometimes he even listens.” He frowned. “I don’t like that you can’t trust my dongsaengs. It means that you don’t trust me and you think I have bad judgment.” Then he nibbled on his lower lip, looking doubtful. “Changjo does like to trick people, though, and L isn’t always honest with people he doesn’t trust. So maybe you should, well. Just, when you talk to them, understand that they might be saying something for effect.”
“Then you really do know that about them,” D.O. said.
Suho scoffed. “Of course I do. Why do you think you have a foolish leader? Do all of my members think I’m stupid?”
“No,” Lay said.
“Of course not,” Chen said.
“You got in really deep, really fast with guys no one can trust,” Sehun said. “And you put so much off-limits, we couldn’t tell what you were thinking.”
“And when I tried to find out what they were thinking, that went really badly,” D.O. added.
“Changjo’s a good kid,” Suho said. “He just needs a hyung to give him some direction.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I can’t tell you too much, because he’s trusted me with a lot. They both have, him and L. I don’t want to give away what they shared in private. But you should get to know them better, both of them. They’ll open up to you, too, if you show them that they can trust you.”
“What about Sunggyu hyung?” Kai asked. “Can we trust him?”
“Of course you can.” And there was nothing after that, no backtracking like there had been about L and Changjo. Baekhyun blinked, absorbing that. It was weird to hear Suho say that Changjo and L would basically lie to their faces and they just needed to get used to that. And after that, it was weird to hear Suho just completely give Sunggyu blanket trust.
Maybe that was why Sunggyu was the boyfriend-boyfriend, and L and Changjo were just the side boyfriends.
Or maybe Suho had a thing for hyungs. Which Baekhyun totally did not empathize with, at all.
“Sunggyu hyung’s given me a lot,” Suho said. “He’s been there for me even when he didn’t have any reason to give me another chance. He was honest with me when I refused to hear it. He’s a good hyung. He,” Suho hesitated, “he likes me more than he likes all of you, so he might not be as patient with you as he is with me. So he might come across differently. But he’s been very good to me. I can tell him anything, I can get everything off of my chest. He gives me advice and he makes me face reality even if it’s uncomfortable. And he’s funny, and he makes me laugh, and,” Suho’s cheeks were turning pink, “he, we, I, I wish I saw him more.” He cleared his throat.
“God, he must fuck you so well,” Xiumin said. He sounded envious.
“Hyung!” Suho laughed, his blush deepening. “Not everything’s about that! We have a good relationship, he’s a good hyung to me, why can’t it just be a nice relationship?”
“A nice relationship where he makes it so good you’re willing to do it on the couch,” Baekhyun said. Too soon, it was totally too soon to bring that up, but, damn. Suho had been willing to go to town all over that couch, just for Sunggyu.
Bright red, Suho messed with his hair for a second, and Baekhyun braced himself, expecting to be scolded, expecting Suho to cut things off. Instead, Suho mumbled, “It was really good,” and looked at the floor for a minute.
“It, uh,” Chen said hesitantly, glancing at Baekhyun, and Baekhyun nodded, encouraging him, wanting him to keep this going. Was Suho willing to talk about it? “It sounded like it was going well.”
“You took him to the bedroom,” Lay said. “You let him stay over. I knew he had to be special if you didn’t kick him out.”
Suho blinked at that, like it had never occurred to him. “It was hard,” he admitted. “I wanted to run away and never look at anybody ever again. But he wouldn’t let me hide.” He ran his hand through his hair again and then fixed his bangs, fidgeting to buy time. “He likes for me to face things. Face facts, face the truth, face myself. He knew how upset I was, so he tried to make it easier on me, but he wouldn’t let me run away from it.” He hesitated, avoiding their eyes, then added, “And we had sex in the bathroom.”
Baekhyun’s jaw dropped.
“How?” Lay asked. “Where? In the shower? By the sink?”
“Yes, there, too,” Suho said, and Baekhyun’s jaw dropped even lower. Did that mean in the shower and by the sink and in some third spot? Some other location? Where, the toilet, the floor? Up against the door? “I shouldn’t talk about it, he deserves his privacy,” he mumbled to himself. “It was amazing, though,” he said, still muttering half under his breath, and everyone on the couch leaned forward to hear better. “It’s always amazing with him,” he said, frowning. “How does he do that? I didn’t want everybody to hear,” he added, finally talking to them again and not only to himself. “I tried biting on a towel to stay quiet. And he, well, you don’t need to know about that. You didn’t hear everything, did you?”
“He what?!” Baekhyun demanded.
Xiumin smacked Baekhyun’s arm and told Suho, “No, we couldn’t hear.”
How had Sunggyu shut Suho up? Put a hand over his mouth? Gagged him with something? Said something hot like, “Don’t get too loud or hyung’s going to be mad?” and made him work to keep it in? Squirming, Baekhyun nibbled on his thumb, imagining it.
“Let’s talk about something else,” Suho suggested.
“You give fantastic head,” Lay said.
Baekhyun coughed all over his thumb, and Kai burst into laughter, and Suho exclaimed, “Ya!” and Xiumin said, “What, he’s not lying. You’re incredible.”
“God, it’s so good,” Chanyeol said.
“Don’t talk about it!” Suho exclaimed. Then he rubbed at his face, trying to deal with it. “It’s okay, you can talk about it. You can talk about whatever you want to. It’s not bad?” he asked, lowering his hands, scanning their faces hopefully. “Are there tips, do you have feedback?”
“Feedback,” Baekhyun said, disbelieving. They could give Suho tips and tricks, now?
“Maybe there are things I could do better,” Suho said. “I know I’m not very - - I don’t have a lot of experience, maybe, but I can learn, if there are things that you’d like.”
Baekhyun wondered how much sex Suho thought someone needed to have to be experienced. He was pretty sure that whatever a reasonable threshold was, Suho was way past it.
“Let us do you face-to-face, more,” Chanyeol said.
“Don’t do that, don’t put pressure on him,” Kai said.
“He asked for feedback!”
“It’s embarrassing, face-to-face,” Suho said.
“You can go slower, if you want,” Sehun said. “During, uh, blowjobs. You can take your time with it, I’m not worried about getting off.”
“Nobody wants to savor your cock, maknae,” Xiumin said.
Sehun’s eyebrows twitched and he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck and not letting them see his face for a second. He probably wanted to say, “Yeah, ask L.Joe about that.” Baekhyun would have. But he was always really careful, really respectful and protective; he’d never actually use L.Joe to prove some petty point. He just looked away and let the moment pass, let them get away with whatever crap they were saying. It was mature of him. Baekhyun was always left admiring him for being so responsible, and being baffled, still, that the maknae had a devoted sub. Sehun was super hot, sure, but if Baekhyun had been looking for a dom, a dongsaeng was not the place to start.
“Do I go too fast?” Suho asked.
“No,” Chanyeol said. “Don’t change anything, it’s perfect.”
“Savor it, though,” Lay mumbled. “I like the way that sounds.”
“Nobody wants to savor your cock, either,” Xiumin said.
Chen laughed. “Do you want somebody to savor yours, hyung? Would that make you feel better?”
Xiumin grinned at him. “I get plenty of it already, but I don’t mind the offer.”
Everybody groaned, Baekhyun leaning away from him in disgust.
“What happened with Teen Top?” Lay asked.
“Do you mean, generally, or specifically, what did I do with them?” Suho asked.
“Yeah, that, too,” Lay said.
“It’s okay that you’re doing it with them, you can choose your own partners,” Kai said. “But why all of a sudden?”
“Well, it was convenient, with them here in the dorm,” Suho admitted. “But it felt like it was time. I didn’t want to hold back from them. I was helping them out, I was being a hyung to them, I even had to be a leader now and then, so it felt natural, I guess. All of you weren’t here, but they were, so - - maybe it’s a hard habit to break. I had dongsaengs here, and they weren’t you, but it was familiar, anyway. It felt right.”
“I’d love to see you with Chunji,” Lay said.
“It’s weird,” Sehun said.
“I’d love to see you with C.A.P.,” Baekhyun said, and then he blushed when everyone looked at him. “What?” What, Lay could say stuff and he couldn’t?
“When you go on MT with them,” Suho said. “How does it go?”
“It goes great,” Chanyeol said enthusiastically.
“It’s sort of a free-for-all,” Kai said. “Infinite can be more methodical. Teen Top’s all over the place.”
“C.A.P. just goes around ramming it wherever he can find an empty hole,” Xiumin said. “Niel goes around blowing whoever’s available. The other three just go and go and never slow down. The only one who ever takes a break is L.Joe, he hangs out in the kitchen to clear his head.”
“They’re fun,” Chen said. “So much fun.”
“They’re aggressive,” D.O. said. “Infinite’s not as aggressive. Hoya hyung gets focused and Sungjong knows what he wants, but with Teen Top if they can see it, they can have it.”
“Changjo said that,” Suho said. “That if it’s visible, it’s available, and if you don’t want it you just cover up. It sounds too intense.”
“It is,” D.O. said.
Were they kidding? “I love it,” Baekhyun said. “It’s great.”
“You like things intense,” Sehun said.
“No, I don’t.” When Sehun just kept looking at him, he asked, “What does that mean, anyway? Intense?”
“You like it when things get ramped up,” Kai said. “So do I, so does Xiumin hyung, so do a lot of people, it’s not bad.”
“Like Chunji,” Suho said. “He likes it when things are more exciting. More aggressive, more lewd, more explicit.”
“Yeah, you can see why he likes Dongwoo hyung,” Chanyeol said.
“Mmm, the magic,” Lay said knowingly.
“So, uh. If we’re still doing the eight-day rotation,” Chanyeol said. “Does that mean threesomes are off-limits?”
“What?” Suho asked. “Yes! I mean, no! I mean, off-limits, still, totally off-limits.”
“What about kissing threesomes?” Xiumin asked.
“I can’t kiss two people at once,” Suho said.
“Yes, you can, I’ve made out with two guys at once right on this couch like a hundred times,” Xiumin said. “If full-on sex is off-limits, that’s fine, that’s up to you. But if you’re going to try kissing on the couch, you could try making out with more than just one of us at a time. If you want to try it, use Lay, he’s really good at sharing, he makes a great third.”
Lay smiled, looking touched. “Thanks, hyung.”
“I wouldn’t even know what to do with two guys,” Suho said.
“It’s not hard to figure out,” Kai said.
“Is the couch the only place you’re branching out to?” Baekhyun asked.
“Yeah, what about the kitchen?” Chen asked. “Or the hallway, or just around, like in other rooms? What if it’s not our night? There are so many times when I want to kiss you but I can’t.”
“I’m really attracted to you sometimes when it’s not my night and we’re not in your room,” D.O. said. “It would be nice if I could kiss you those times, too.”
“Oh my god, you have to say it’s okay, now,” Baekhyun said. “You can’t say no to D.O., can you? You don’t want to turn him down if the stars are aligning and he actually wants some.”
“Shut up,” D.O. said.
“I didn’t think you’d be interested,” Suho told D.O.
“But you know the rest of us are,” Lay said.
“You have to know that, right?” Chanyeol asked. “You know we’re all dying to do you all of the time?”
“I want you constantly,” Xiumin said.
“Constantly,” Kai agreed.
“I don’t know, you’re really annoying sometimes,” Baekhyun said.
“Oh, go to hell,” Chen told him, laughing. “You’re as desperate for it as anybody.”
“I don’t want anybody to feel obligated,” Suho said.
Groaning, Baekhyun wanted to throw himself off of the sofa.
“I don’t!” he insisted. “I’m the leader, it can affect how you feel about me. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. If we have a bad practice or if I’ve been hard on you, and you’re upset with me, even a little bit, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable if I’m trying to kiss on you in the kitchen. When you come to me in my room at night, that’s your decision. If I initiate things on my own, and then you have to decide how to respond, you might end up with kisses that you don’t want.”
Baekhyun almost said something about how kisses he didn’t want were hardly the worst thing in the world. Then he second-guessed himself and swallowed the comment down. Shivering, he pushed the idea away. Okay, so maybe Suho had a good point.
“Other groups must have worked this out somehow,” Sehun said. “What does Onew hyung do?”
“Has anyone ever seen someone in Teen Top tell C.A.P. no?” Chanyeol asked. “Does Infinite tell Sunggyu hyung no?”
“Sungjong says that he does,” Suho said. “I think Onew hyung’s so nice, his members would be comfortable telling him no. I think they wouldn’t feel obligated to go along with it to keep him happy.”
“Chunji was having sex with C.A.P. before the rest of them were,” Xiumin said. “And Chunji’s not shy about saying no. He doesn’t let anybody touch him if he’s not interested. I think he probably set a good precedent of telling C.A.P. to get off of him.”
“Look, we do respect your authority as our leader,” Chen said. “But we’re all adults here, we know what we’re not comfortable with. If we’re not really in the mood, I think that we can all speak up.”
“I would,” Kai said.
“And I would,” Xiumin said. “We know D.O. would.”
“I don’t think there’s anybody you have to worry about,” Lay said.
“Except for Baekhyun hyung,” Sehun said.
What? “What?” Baekhyun asked, startled. They were all staring at him again. “What?!”
“Have you ever said no to a hyung?” D.O. asked.
“About sex?” Kai asked
“What? All of the time, I…” He tried to think of a good example. It was hard to do with everyone still staring at him. “I say no!” He must’ve said no to Sungyeol or Woohyun sometime, right? Or Hoya?