What I Want
After taking his sweet time pulling his shoes off, Chunji yawned and patted his hair. He was trying to look chic and composed, but the corners of his mouth kept twitching upward and his eyes were bright with happiness. “Still up? Aren’t you tired?”
“No.” He wasn’t tired. He was wide awake and turned on as hell by how pleased and giddy Chunji looked. “How was Mir hyung?”
“Ah, Mir hyung?” Chunji shifted, light on his feet, breathing faster, as C.A.P. strolled toward him. He was excited, nervous; he was always skittish when he first came home, wanting to be touched but holding back, needing a moment to make the switch from the thrill of sex with other guys to the familiarity of C.A.P. Deliberately moving slowly, C.A.P. gave him time to slip away if he wanted to. “He’s fine. He had to go to practice.”
When C.A.P.’s hands settled on Chunji’s waist, he swayed forward, his hands splayed against C.A.P.’s chest. Catching himself, he stopped with his mouth so close they were breathing on each other. His parted lips were red, swollen; Mir had been chewing on him. C.A.P. wanted to kiss him, to draw him closer. “Did he take good care of you?”
“Yes.” Smiling, Chunji stroked C.A.P.’s chest, plucking at his shirt, chuckling a little. “We didn’t even make it to his room. We just did it in the front room, right on the floor. It’s always so intense with Mir hyung, he’s always so impatient.”
Chunji always described sex with Mir that way: quick, intense, energetic. “That’s what you like about him.”
“It is, he’s so alive, in the moment. The foreplay, the way he kisses, everything is so fast. I get excited trying to keep up with him. I always feel like he can’t get enough of me.”
Chunji’s hands were restless and needy, his expression bright with desire. Seeing him like this, turned on and invigorated and ready for more, sent lust running hotly through C.A.P.’s veins. C.A.P. could picture it, the two of them eager for each other, Mir yanking Chunji’s clothes off, Chunji’s lust fueled by Mir’s enthusiasm. “How’d you get off?”
Chunji laughed, walking backwards, pulling him down the hallway. “He jacked me off while he fucked me. He yanked on it so hard I thought he was going to pull it off, but, shit, I came so hard I didn’t care.” In their room, beside the bed, they stopped, and as their bodies bumped lightly into each other, he could feel the stiff nudge of Chunji’s hard-on.
“You want more,” C.A.P. whispered, cupping his ass, drawing him close again, their hips together. “You want it again.”
“I want you,” Chunji said, squeezing his shoulders, rubbing his jaw, nails scraping the side of his neck. Chunji’s expression was lusting, heavy-lidded, gaze focused on his mouth. “I want you to fuck me. God, he was so good.” With a sudden smile, Chunji met his eyes. “Mir hyung fucks so hard and so fast, he’s like an animal.”
“Mmm-hmm.” He almost asked, “Did you bite him?” but already knew the answer and asked, instead, “Where did you bite him?”
Chunji’s eyes widened; he looked intrigued, happy, that C.A.P. knew him so well. “On the shoulder, at least twice. And I bit his fingers, a little, when he put them in my mouth.”
“Yeah?” The more Chunji said, the more C.A.P. wanted him.
He licked his lips, lowering his gaze, then looking up at C.A.P. through his lashes, watching the effect of his words. “Yeah. I was on my knees, in front of him, unzipping his fly. He pulled my chin up and slid his fingers into my mouth. I kept working open his pants - - god, I wanted his cock - - and I sucked on his fingers. He groaned, it sounded so good, he said, ‘Oh, Chunji-goon, suck it, I want you to suck me,’ and he moved his fingers in and out, rubbing them over my lips. I kept sucking, I was so turned on, and when I got his pants down his cock was hard as a rock. I nipped at his fingers to get them out of my mouth and then, aahhh.” Moaning, he closed his eyes, sinking to his knees, his fingers slipping into C.A.P.’s front pockets while he rubbed his face longingly against the bulge of C.A.P.’s dick. “So hard, it was so good. He kept his hand on the back of my head like he was afraid I’d stop, and I loved it.”
Chunji’s nuzzling felt so good that C.A.P. grunted, rubbing into his face a little. Chunji loved cock; it was easy to imagine him with a mouthful of Mir’s erection, his head bobbing. “I’ll bet he loved it, too.”
Chunji’s laughter faded into a moan as he cupped a hand over C.A.P.’s hard-on, nuzzling against C.A.P.’s abs now, licking upward beneath the hem of C.A.P.’s shirt. “You should have heard the sounds he made. Moaning and begging and chanting and squealing. He was so close to coming I almost had it, but then he pulled out and got on top of me.” A soft chuckle; his tongue swiped across C.A.P.’s navel. “I still had my pants on one leg when he started fucking me.”
The idea of another man on top of Chunji, inside Chunji, fucking, turned C.A.P. on and filled him with so much lust that he could hardly take it anymore. Running his hand through Chunji’s hair, he said, “You’re killing me. Are you ready, can I fuck you?”
“Oh, yes, so, so ready,” Chunji said, voice muffled against his groin. Yanking his shirt off, C.A.P threw it aside and grabbed Chunji under the arms, lifting and then shoving.
Landing on the bed with a bounce, Chunji laughed, snatching at C.A.P.’s belt loops and tugging him down. His knees had barely hit the mattress before Chunji was kissing him, nipping at his lips and making hungry, impatient sounds. “I love the way you look at me,” Chunji panted, moaning at the stroke of his tongue. “I love how much it turns you on.”
“God, it gets me so hot,” C.A.P. said, pulling off his own clothes, Chunji’s clothes, getting down to bare skin, Chunji’s naked body limber and sleek beneath him. There was a new mark on Chunji’s hipbone, a bruise he didn’t remember, and he ducked his head, kissing it. While Chunji shifted restlessly, stroking his hair, moaning his name, he mouthed Chunji’s cock, thinking of Mir being rough with it, picturing Mir’s hand on it. “Gonna fuck you.”
While he reached for the lube, Chunji was already grabbing the condoms, and soon he was in, burying his erection in the familiar heat of Chunji’s body. He didn’t strive to thrust quickly or roughly to match or outdo Mir; he didn’t go slowly and tenderly to set a marked difference. He just fucked Chunji at whichever pace their bodies wanted, in the steady rhythm he liked, giving it a little more energy when Chunji’s breathless, “That’s it, hyung, give it to me, harder, ah, ah, yes,” asked for it.
He loved sex, and he loved Chunji, and he loved how much Chunji loved sex. Chunji needed a lot of it, a variety of it, different bodies and personalities and positions, different men. Chunji’s sex life was entwined with his sex life, now; his store of fantasies and memories was filled with visions of Chunji with other men, enhanced by details from Chunji’s reports of who liked it rough, who was surprisingly submissive, who was particularly well-hung, who liked toys, who was noisy, who gave terrific head, and so on.
Fucking him now, C.A.P. ran a hand down his side, feeling the heat of his panting body, picturing Mir on top of him, thrusting into him, sweating against his skin. From other encounters, other reports, C.A.P. knew that Mir fucked Chunji in fierce, quick strokes, and that Mir was very vocal during sex. It was easy to imagine Mir groaning and crying out, cursing, calling Chunji’s name, hammering into him, pounding his lube-slick hole and gripping his hips too tightly. “Face-to-face? Behind?”
“I was, ahh, hyung, on my, oh, back,” Chunji moaned, hands rubbing over C.A.P.’s pecs. “Ahh, fuck me, yeah, give it to me, it’s so good. He told me…” He laughed, then groaned, shuddering, digging his nails into C.A.P.’s skin. “He told me to roll over, but he came before he pulled out of me. He’s always ambitious, he always looks so surprised when he comes. Oh,” he pinched C.A.P.’s nipple, tugging at it, “it feels so good, fill me up, give me your cock, give it to me.”
C.A.P. stared down at Chunji, rocking into him, imagining it. Mir had been on top of him like this, looking at him like this, his slim, handsome body, his pretty face, his beautiful eyes. It was a captivating view, with the redness of Chunji’s mouth, the defined musculature of his lithe body, the rigid and swollen jut of his erection with its long shaft and blunt head. Mir would have felt the caress and grip of his hands, as C.A.P. did now, those agile hands petting, stroking, pulling, coaxing. And all the while, he would have been gazing at Mir, smiling, flirting, urging Mir on, demanding more.
“Huuhh, ohh, hyung.” Arching, Chunji tipped his head back, showing off the long lines of his slender neck. “That’s it, that’s it, you always give me what I need.”
Grunting with each thrust now, fucking harder and faster to keep up with Chunji’s lust and his own body’s urgency, he lowered his head to lick sweat from Chunji’s chest. Chunji’s moans were getting louder, and he knew Chunji well enough to recognize the near-ecstatic, near-orgasmic, imperative note of each happy sound. “Don’t come yet.”
“Fuck that,” Chunji said in protest, smacking his arm. “I can’t, oh, god, I can’t.” Groaning, Chunji shuddered, hips rising. “Hyung, please.”
Was this how he’d looked for Mir? His lips red, his cheeks pink, his long lashes lowered over eyes filled with lust and pleasure, his body arching, writhing. C.A.P. wanted to see what Mir had seen, to watch Chunji come the way Mir had. “Where were your hands? How did you touch him?”
“I, I - - god, I don’t remember, I can’t think when you’re fucking me like this,” Chunji groaned. “I was touching his face, he likes that, and I had a hand - - ah, aah, hyung - - on his shoulder, his right shoulder, his left, whatever, I don’t - - I can’t - - please, hyung, I need it.”
“Okay. Come for me,” C.A.P. urged, thrusting into him forcefully, quickly fisting his cock. “Show me, show me.”
Howling, Chunji came, his body jerking in passionate spasms as cum spurted onto his chest. As he cried out, one hand slid over C.A.P.’s shoulder, his other hand hot against C.A.P.’s face, his thumb stroking across C.A.P.’s eyebrow as he moaned and shook.
It was an intimate touch, romantic, seductive, and C.A.P. fell irrevocably deeper under Chunji’s spell. Aglow with pleasure, with gratification, Chunji smiled up at him, chest heaving, eyes wide with appreciation and encouragement. “Aaahhhh.” Chunji sighed with immense satisfaction. “You always fuck me so well.”
Grunting, C.A.P. pulled out of him and kissed him. “Roll over.”
Moving languidly, lazily showing off his smooth, taut body, Chunji settled onto his stomach, arching his back. As C.A.P. pulled his hips up, he purred, and as C.A.P. thrust into him again, he moaned, “Yes, ah, it’s yours, I’m yours, fuck me, yes, give me more.” As C.A.P. stroked his long, narrow back, the pale satin of his skin, ideas of other men faded away.
All that was on C.A.P.’s mind now was one man, Chunji, the way Chunji moved for him and called for him, the way Chunji smiled at him and kissed him, the way Chunji came at his touch and looked on his sheets.
“Mmm, yeah, that’s it,” Chunji murmured, shifting sinuously beneath him as comfortably as if they were mid-massage and not mid-fuck. “Get off on it, come for me.”
Memories were flooding C.A.P.’s mind now. Memories of the two of them, Chunji hot and aroused and beckoning him, Chunji teasing and laughing and flirting, Chunji begging him, riding his cock, whispering, “Please, please, please touch me,” and howling the walls down when he did. Groaning, grunting, he fucked Chunji harder, hitching Chunji’s ass up against his thrusting hips, pleasure reverberating through him at Chunji’s satisfied moan. Chunji felt good, good because of him. No matter how many other men there were, no matter how much Chunji liked them, Chunji always came back to him, home to him, his bed, his body. He was the one Chunji stayed with, the one Chunji committed to. For the two of them, once in a while wasn’t enough; for the two of them, it was about so much more than sex. Pressing his forehead between Chunji’s shoulder blades, C.A.P. closed his eyes and listened to Chunji’s pleased, contented moans and thrust into Chunji’s warm, relaxed body until he came.
“Thank me?” C.A.P. already sounded sleepy. His hand briefly cupped Chunji’s ass before settling on Chunji’s waist. “For what?”
“Not minding that your boyfriend’s out fucking other guys.”
He felt C.A.P. shrug. “You do what makes you happy.” A deep, drowsy chuckle. “It makes me happy, too.”
“You should come with me sometime.” He’d said it a hundred times before, or at least it felt that way. “It would be great.”
But C.A.P. just said what he always said. “Nah.” He hugged Chunji closer, his deep voice fading into sleep. “I have what I want.”
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November 16, 2013
by Matthew Haldeman-Time