The rest of the EXO members looked over at Lay.
In one corner of the couch, leaning back with his arm behind his head, he gazed at the ceiling with a wondering, mystified expression. “Doesn’t it seem unlikely? They are so many big, sexy, meaty ones. That can’t be right.”
“He’s not wrong,” Chen said.
“There’s C.A.P. hyung,” Kai agreed.
“And Changjo,” Baekhyun said.
“And Sunggyu hyung,” Xiumin said.
Everyone looked at Chen.
“What?” Chen asked, laughing. “I told you that I don’t know anything about that!”
“It’s true,” Xiumin said, nodding. “It’s huge. I’m right, you’ll see.”
“Why would it - - I don’t want to know,” Kai said, interrupting himself mid-question and waving the point aside.
“I want to know,” Sehun said, leaning forward from his spot beside D.O. on the floor. “What are you thinking, what did you notice?”
“Maybe he has tricks,” Baekhyun said.
“Like Xiumin hyung?” Chanyeol asked.
“Ya!” From the opposite end of the couch, Xiumin leaned forward to look at Chanyeol. “What about Xiumin hyung?”
“Hyung,” Chen said. “You know you trim your pubic hair.”
“It makes things seem bigger,” Lay said.
“I wish you wouldn’t do it,” Kai said. “I like a thick bush.”
Lay sat up straighter, looking at Kai with understanding. “We need to meet some hairier guys.”
“Infinite’s pretty hairy,” Chanyeol said. “If you’re into that sort of thing,” he added, glancing around.
“No one’s going to mention Baekhyun’s brush?” Xiumin asked.
“His what?” Sehun asked, laughing.
“Oh, that little brush!” Chen exclaimed cheerfully.
“What, what?” Baekhyun asked, looking around with a nervous smile, starting to turn red.
“I forgot about that,” D.O. said. “He brushes his pubic hair,” he told Sehun. “He has this little brush he uses for it.”
“Why don’t I know about this?” Sehun demanded, pushing at Kai. “Baekhyun hyung.” He sat forward with a bright smile. “You have to show me. How often do you do it?”
“I don’t do that anymore! It was only a couple of times!” Baekhyun protested while the other members laughed and disagreed. “It was an experiment! I wanted to see how it would look!”
“How did it look?” Sehun asked with great interest.
“No different,” Xiumin said.
“Maybe you should have used a different brush,” Chanyeol suggested. “Or a curling iron and mousse. You can ask one of the stylist-” He suddenly had to duck.
“I know,” Baekhyun said.
Sehun looked up a beat late from his bowl. The members had settled on the floor to eat, and he was between Xiumin and Lay. “Hmm?” He chewed and swallowed. “What?”
“Maknaes,” Chanyeol said. “Aren’t they supposed to be cute and innocent and respectful?”
“Yeah,” Baekhyun said. “What happened to that?”
“Mmm.” Xiumin swallowed. “They’re so wily lately. You can’t turn your back on them.”
“I’m respectful!” Sehun objected. “Suho hyung.” His hurt expression tried to guilt Suho into speaking up for him.
“‘Aw, I’m so innocent and adorable!’” Xiumin said, folding his hands under his chin and batting his lashes, tilting his head to one side. “Oh? No, don’t pay any attention to those guys I have chained up in my cellar.”
“I don’t have a cellar,” Sehun pointed out.
“That wasn’t the most important detail there,” Xiumin said. “You know that, right?”
“I - - maybe I do some things sexually,” Sehun admitted, stirring his noodles. “That doesn’t have anything to do with whether I’m a good maknae.”
“What about Changjo?” Chanyeol asked.
“Oh, Changjo,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head. “That kid. He’s up to something. I’ll suck his cock any day of the week, but I don’t want to be alone in the dorm with him.”
“He’s sweet,” Suho argued. “Changjo’s a great kid.”
“Maybe that’s just what he wants you to think,” Baekhyun said, wiggling his eyebrows with a mock-profound look.
“He doesn’t do that,” Chen said. “Not outside of Teen Top.”
“Oh, wait,” Kai said suddenly, looking up. “He blew Sehun, though.”
An instant later, they were reassembled in Sehun’s room, and Sehun was waiting for the barrage of questions to slow down. “I don’t know!” he said for the fifth time. “Honestly, hyung, I don’t know,” he repeated when Xiumin scoffed. “His whole,” he gestured, “crotch was in my face the whole time. I didn’t see anything.”
“You saw it, right?” Chanyeol asked Kai.
“No, I couldn’t see.” Kai shook his head. “If anybody saw, maybe it was Ricky?”
“Okay, but how did it feel?” Lay asked. “Was it great? Was it extra-great? Was it super-great?”
“It was probably less-than-great, if he doesn’t get that much practice,” Baekhyun said.
Chen glanced at him. “Do you win a lot of prizes?”
“I - - ya!” Simultaneously looking self-conscious and indignant, Baekhyun pushed at Chen’s shoulder with both hands. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Teasing, I’m teasing,” Chen said, hugging him.
Seated on his bed, Sehun leaned back, putting his weight on his hands behind him. “Well.” He tipped his head to one side, thoughtfully studying the ceiling. “On a scale of…”
“One to ten,” Chanyeol said.
“Chanyeol to Chen,” Lay said.
“Hey!” Chanyeol exclaimed, turning to Lay, laughing. “Why am I on the bottom of the scale?”
“And why is Chen on the top?” Baekhyun demanded. “I want a recount.”
“It’s like C.A.P. says,” Lay said. “It’s gravity, someone has to end up on the bottom.”
“Chunji hyung was kind of…” Pursing his lips, Sehun practiced looking thoughtful and crossed his ankles. “Amazing,” he decided. “He’s pretty fantastic.”
“I knew it!” Chanyeol exclaimed. “I knew it, I knew it!”
“Ah, the maknae’s just trying to get attention,” Xiumin said.
“He spat it out when he was finished,” Sehun added. “Not on the floor, on me.”
“Ew,” D.O. said.
“Shit, that’s so hot,” Lay breathed. “On your stomach or on your cock?”
“On my cock,” Sehun said.
“Ew,” D.O. repeated, grimacing.
“God, that’s the hottest thing I’ve heard all day,” Lay said. “Somebody c’mere, I want to try it.”
“Don’t ask him that,” Baekhyun said. “We’ll never be able to think of him as our cute maknae again.”
Smiling, Sehun shrugged.
“Okay, what’s yours?” Chanyeol asked. “Your deepest, darkest sexual fantasy?”
D.O. was the only one who didn’t look up when Suho suddenly got up and walked away, messing with his phone.
“Getting it from a bunch of super-hot guys at once,” Baekhyun said. “Not very shocking, sorry.”
“Mine’s boring, too,” Chen said. “I want, like, romantic, just-got-engaged sex, all steamy and slow.”
“We know what Chanyeol wants,” Xiumin said. “Some woman to bite his ears and scratch his back and tell him what a great job he’s doing.”
Shaking his head, Chanyeol laughed. “No, I want some guy to bite my ears and scratch my back and tell me what a great job I’m doing.”
“What about the ‘oppa, oppa’ thing?” Baekhyun asked.
“Right,” Chanyeol said.
“Wait,” Lay said, sitting up straighter. “You don’t want a woman? The whole point is for it to be a guy?”
“Yeah,” Chanyeol said. Turning red to the tips of his ears, he looked at their puzzled expressions. His eyes darting from one face to another, he shrank back slightly, his smile self-conscious. “Don’t make me explain it, it sounds weird if you describe it out loud. It’s just, it’s the hottest thing ever if you do it right.”
“What’s your fantasy?” Sehun asked Kai.
“D.O. hyung,” Kai said. “What’s yours?” he asked Xiumin.
“Ahh.” Xiumin quirked an eyebrow, looking thoughtful. “I want to be so sexy, I’m irresistible. So hot that guys throw themselves at me.” He grinned. “You know, like real life.”
“What about you?” Baekhyun asked D.O.
D.O. made a low, contemplative sound, then shook his head and went back to eating.
“Right,” Lay said, leaning forward. “So I’ve been arrested and thrown in jail for being the town slut…”
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December 31, 2014
by Matthew Haldeman-Time